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yeahidomagic Regular user 134 Posts |
A big hello to the magic Café , on this hot afternoon in Florida ! I need your advice on my website . All comments either positive or negative are welcome : ).
the web site is as follows : http://www.partiesbyjerry.co.nr <--- I know the first improvement is to make it a . com ! Thanks in advance , ~Jerry |
monstercreations Regular user England 116 Posts |
Hi Jerry....
I could tell you but you really wouldn't like what I have to say! Ade |
Scott F. Guinn Inner circle "Great Scott!" aka "Palms of Putty" & "Poof Daddy G" 6586 Posts |
Hi Jerry,
I just glanced at the home page, and there are quite a few typos. While that may not seem like a big deal, it make the difference between the perception of a professional site and a site that was just thrown together by any old Joe. Here are the things I noticed on one quick read-through: Quote:
You need punctuation between "problem" and "let". Perhaps: "No problem! Let Jerry..." Quote: There should be a comma between the "much" and "much", and no space between "more" and the exclamation point.
♦And much much more ! Quote: "comedy packed" should be "comedy-packed", and again there is a space (that shouldn't be there) between the end of the sentence and the exclamation point.
Jerry's shows are the most comedy packed magic shows in the South Florida area ! Quote:
Jerry has worked for There are several errors here. First, you do not have a space between the bullet and the listing on the first three items, but you do have a space there on the last three. This should be consistent; there should be a space after every bullet. (This also applies to the preceding bullet list). Second, "party's" means "belonging to party", as in "The Guinn party's table is ready." You want the plural of party, which is "parties". Third, once again there is a space before the exclamation point on the last line. Quote:
Jerry has been preforming and creating memories for almost nine years ! There is that space between the end of the sentence and the punctuation again. Also, "preforming" is not a word. The word you want is "performing" which means "doing" as in "putting on a show". You can fix all of these things in just a few minutes, and it will go a long way in making your site seem more professional.
"Love God, laugh more, spend more time with the ones you love, play with children, do good to those in need, and eat more ice cream. There is more to life than magic tricks." - Scott F. Guinn
My Lybrary Page |
markmiller Special user 731 Posts |
Also, Jerry you have been "performing" not "preforming" and my suggestion is to get a trusted friend to help you.
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yeahidomagic Regular user 134 Posts |
Mark , thank you for your advice. I would have never noticed , but your right , it does indeed pack a big difference. If ya would check out my all new , redesigned website , that would be great! Its , http://www.partiesbyjerry.com . Thank You.
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mindguru Veteran user 320 Posts |
I think your new website is much better it looks more professional.
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mindguru Veteran user 320 Posts |
By the way it also looks more upmarket, which might help you attract better clientele and lead to more money.
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yeahidomagic Regular user 134 Posts |
Thank you ! I also agree , its way better than my old one , such an improvement!
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