|
|
WV Loyal user South Africa, Durban 289 Posts |
I thought it would be a good idea to share my script for my upcoming show. I think that I can learn a lot from your comments and maybe other beginners can learn from my script and the other's feedback as well.
I don't want to post the script here as it will be very long, so please read the script on my blog and post the comments here. My blog: http://vernesto.blogspot.com
Vernesto
"I'm not perfect, just forgiven!" "I'm finding everything I'll ever need, by giving up gaining everything." |
Cyberqat Inner circle You can tell I work on the net from my 2209 Posts |
What sort of audience is this for?
It is always darkest just before you are eaten by a grue.
|
WV Loyal user South Africa, Durban 289 Posts |
This is a small crowd of about 100 people at my work's end of year party.
Vernesto
"I'm not perfect, just forgiven!" "I'm finding everything I'll ever need, by giving up gaining everything." |
Cyberqat Inner circle You can tell I work on the net from my 2209 Posts |
Hm. Okay. How well do they know you and what is the expected "manner" of a magician in your area?
I just ask because your script strikes me as pretty "formal". The sort of thing someone might do on stage. That may be fine, but if you aren't normally either so formal or forceful be aware that people you know may have trouble handling the switch. The only other thing I'd say is... a script is great, but be ready to go off it and don't get thrown if you have to. Jokes may fall flat. Things may not work quite right. that's life in live entertainment. Full of surprises
It is always darkest just before you are eaten by a grue.
|
DWRackley Inner circle Chattanooga, TN 1909 Posts |
Thank you for sharing your treasure with us. It takes great courage to open up to a group like this and you are to be commended!!!
First, I believe you may be over-thinking the WORDS, when you should be focusing on the PERSONALITY. Agree with Cyberqat completely on this one. It reads as being very stiff. I’d say PLAN on going off script. Use this as a guideline certainly, but put it into your own conversational tones. Talk to the audience the same way you’d talk to a friend at the water cooler. Anything else will come off as pretentious, and make them ill at ease. If you’re not comfortable, they can sense it, and they won’t be comfortable either. Humor is a tricky thing, and opening a show with it may not be the best idea. Imagine you’re out with your wife and she runs into a friend from work. You shake hands and he immediately breaks into a gag line or a corny story. What’s going to be your first impression of this guy? I’d want to distance myself as much as possible! Same thing happens with an audience. You’ve got to “win them” before you can get overly friendly. You need to do something impressive right out of the gate. It doesn’t have to be instant “flash-bang” magic, but it should at least head into something miraculous within the first 20-30 seconds. You don’t have a long time to grab their attention. Most performers won’t do a “volunteer” effect as the first thing, because they are generally too slow to start. Also, the volunteer doesn’t know what to expect yet, because you haven’t shown them who YOU are. Do a couple of miracles first, so that the audience will be EAGER to get up and share the stage with you. Some of the monologue reads a little long. The Caller-ID / Psychic gag could work if you play that whole paragraph WHILE the woman is coming up on stage. Otherwise, you’ve just made the audience wait for her to arrive, THEN wait again while you run your spiel. I’d be very careful about running a “wife” joke on a woman; that’s flirting with disaster. Also, most women HATE the “show you mine / show me yours” bit, so you could lose half your audience right there! Between the Palms – still MORE volunteers?!? Hmm, maybe you should have considered multiple beach balls at the beginning, possibly in different colors? And it might be time for you to tell a joke about magicians using too many volunteers! Clutch – again with a volunteer? Maybe you could hang on to one of the previous four, while sending the others to their seats. Volunteers take time, to move toward the stage, to introduce to the audience, to explain their role, and to walk back to their seats. There’s no place to build any momentum if the audience is always waiting for volunteers. Maybe you could call up four people at the beginning, then “make the rounds”, using them one at a time as needed, and all four when required. I don’t want to sound negative. I see potential here. But I don’t want you to have a bad experience, either. It’s going to take a lot of personality to pull this off the way you have it written out. I’d spend some time thinking about ways of cutting down on the time spent shuttling volunteers. Also, rethink some of your humor. It needs to be relevant, smart, and inoffensive. You can lose an entire group by insulting just one. And the first one sets the tone for the whole act. If you’re self-denigrating from the start, it’s an uphill battle the rest of the night. (What works best for me is to assume an attitude of equals: I'm not better than you, and certainly not worse. But could I show you just the strangest thing? Almost like asking a small favor, knowing I'll make it worth their while.) This is just one person’s opinion (which you did ask for) There are some people here on the Café who could take this and run with it just the way you wrote it. For many of us it would fall flat. You’re the only one who knows for sure which group you’re in. I wish you well, and hope you’ll keep us updated.
...what if I could read your mind?
Chattanooga's Premier Mentalist Donatelli and Company at ChattanoogaPerformers.com also on FaceBook |
WV Loyal user South Africa, Durban 289 Posts |
Thanks for the feedback. I think one thing that makes it difficult to read a script, is that in your mind you see how your persona would perform. The way I wrote it fits my persona and as mentioned, it depends on the personality. I just want to have an idea of what I am going to say. I am open to improv and change as the show goes on.
Vernesto
"I'm not perfect, just forgiven!" "I'm finding everything I'll ever need, by giving up gaining everything." |
Cyberqat Inner circle You can tell I work on the net from my 2209 Posts |
DRW makes some wonderful suggestions. I agree that a strong "opener" is a great thing to have and when it isn't there, you feel it.
Last stage act I did I opened with a hand canon played as a gag. It fit the mood and got the audience "sitting up" in their seats. A parlor show I just did I opened with something nto quite as "sudden" and impressive and honestly I felt myself having to pull both the audience and myself into the rest of the routine. Im considering going back to an opener I used in high school actually if I can find a match to flower these days. That was basically a match to flower, lighting a candle and then a candle to silk. The flower got pinned to my lapel. The silk wentt into my breast pocket and the whole thing played very much as "magical preparation." Sort of what yould expecta real wizard to do before performing
It is always darkest just before you are eaten by a grue.
|
teedpop New user Check out my 91 Posts |
I can hardly stay on a script!
-Teed |
shamsiel Regular user 120 Posts |
Thanks WV, for sharing and asking for advice. The suggestions from CYBER and DW have taught me a few things as well.
Shamsiel |
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » New to magic? » » Scripting (0 Likes) |
[ Top of Page ] |
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2024 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved. This page was created in 0.03 seconds requiring 5 database queries. |
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic. > Privacy Statement < |