Reading articles of the proposed increased prosecution of folks falsifying gun applications gave me a humous pause.

Humor, get it! One item mention was that poorer folks can't afford a lawyer for this felony and get a court appointed one. so ...

1) why can't a person who can afford many hundreds of dollars for a gun and ammo not afford a lawyer? Because the prices of both are too high.
a) the primary purpose of an attorney is to make attorneys necessary. Most congressfolks are attorneys ...
b) NRA exists to increase the sale of guns. Gun shops and manufactures pay them to lobby Congress and influence elections.
c) Congress takes the bribes because it also increases the need for lawyers.

2) the cost of prosecution and tax payed attorneys is high and at taxpayer expense. Wild gunpersons in schools is a problem.

so. why not give every kid in school a gun when they are 12 or so. Gun practice could replace PE classes. NRA would not have to be so aggressive
and could charge less for their now unnecessary services. The price of guns would go down and the blackmarket fade away. No gunman/woman
would dare enter a school for fear of being hit during a food-fight gone bad. Since nothing related to a gun would be illegal, law enforcement could focus on real crimes like searching for boogyman immigrants under every bed. Attorneys could still charge big bucks defending members of Congress on sex charges.

In theory, a standard simple inexpensive handgun could be provided - maybe a modified zipgun. Of course, there would be a problem of making them in various colors to match cellphones and shoes, but a Chinese knockoff would soon be available anyway.

The program could be financed by the government though the sale of bullets. The 2nd Amendment does not protect the right to own bullets, only arms.
So, only the government would have right to sell ammo at State Convenient Stores along with booze and marijuana. A single "protection round" could be provide to poor kids as a way of protecting against unwanted assault. Never leave home without one.

Just remember you here it here first.

Ah, a modest proposal indeed. Get the best of consumerism and patriotic natural selection pressures involved. How modern.. and inflammatory for many.

Ah memories of the old west... Where everyone walked around wearing a gun just in case. (That was actually not historically true. Most people owned a gun for protection, but few open carried all the time.)

Reminds me of the old “All in the Family” TV episode in which Archie Bunker offered his simple solution to the then-current plague of airliner hijackings: arm ALL passengers with “loaner” guns as they board their aircraft, prior to takeoff; then collect the loaned guns, post-flight, as passengers de-plane.

You seem to have tied up all the loose ends. There's no way in which this could go horribly wrong.