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BerkleyJL
Veteran user
Chicago, IL
397 Posts
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Posted: Mar 4, 2005 3:21pm
I do my ACR a little differently than I've seen others perform it. I present my "Award-Winning Trained Deck of Cards." When I introduce the deck, I bring it out with a 2nd Place Red Ribbon attached to the card case. Which of the two following lines is funnier?
1. We would've gotten 1st place, but apparently the Pet Rock wasn't afraid to go in the water.
2. We almost got 3rd place, but last place was a talking iguana--and he ate the dancing mouse who got 2nd!
Personally, I think #1 is funnier, in part because it takes less explanation and leaves the visual up to the spectator. Please, share your thoughts!
I need a stage name.
Joe Berkley
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Nicholas J. Johnson
Inner circle
6013 Posts
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Posted: Mar 5, 2005 7:39pm
1 is funnier because it has a clearer punchline.
Come visit my new blog at The Honest Con Man
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Daniel Faith
Inner circle
Neenah, Wisconsin
1526 Posts
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Posted: Mar 5, 2005 10:19pm
I agree as long as your saying it to adults.
I don't think kids have heard of a pet rock.
It was a 70's thing.
Daniel Faith
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Harley Newman
Inner circle
3114 Posts
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Posted: Mar 5, 2005 11:24pm
What if the ribbon changed color?
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ziatro
Veteran user
Havant, England
322 Posts
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Posted: Mar 6, 2005 5:31pm
Please forgive me, neither. There's got to be something better.
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BerkleyJL
Veteran user
Chicago, IL
397 Posts
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Posted: Mar 6, 2005 5:50pm
Quote:
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On 2005-03-06 17:31, ziatro wrote:
Please forgive me, neither. There's got to be something better.
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What would you suggest? The pet rock thing has gotten pretty good response, but I'd certainly be willing to use a better line.
I need a stage name.
Joe Berkley
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ziatro
Veteran user
Havant, England
322 Posts
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Posted: Mar 6, 2005 6:14pm
I'll have a good think (now there's a first) and get back to you.
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Mike Robbins
Elite user
Anchorage, Alaska
443 Posts
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Posted: Mar 6, 2005 7:22pm
I didn't care for either, for basically the same reasons that others have posted. The first had a very dated reference and the second was a bit too convoluted.
In order to help you brainstorm, I'll offer the following line. Depending on your audience and your character it, too, may not work, but I hate to just critique without giving you something that may help. This combines a simple line and an up to date reference. I hope it helps.
We would've gotten first place, but apparently Simon doesn't like card tricks.
The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.
Shakespeare
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ziatro
Veteran user
Havant, England
322 Posts
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Posted: Mar 7, 2005 7:27pm
Unfortunately we came second to a cowpoke named Tex. We just got beaten by the better hand. It's not great but might raise a laugh. Let me know if you think this is terrible, after all, I didn't sing the praises of your two efforts. This one is original though.
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Frank Tougas
Inner circle
Minneapolis, MN
1708 Posts
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Posted: Mar 8, 2005 6:47pm
How about..."We would have gotten first place but where my deck just shuffled the other guys deck did the tango." 
Frank Tougas
Frank Tougas The Twin Cities Most "Kid Experienced" Children's Performer :"Creating Positive Memories...One Smile at a Time"
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BerkleyJL
Veteran user
Chicago, IL
397 Posts
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Posted: Mar 9, 2005 7:21am
 I like that one Frank!
I need a stage name.
Joe Berkley
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evanthx
Regular user
Atlanta, GA
166 Posts
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Posted: Mar 9, 2005 7:27am
Just because it's fun to think of lines...
Would have gotten first place but it turns out a deck of cards doesn't do well in the swimsuit competition.
Would have gotten first place but that ribbon was harder to steal.
Would have gotten first place but a second contestant showed up.
Would have gotten first place but I forgot the cardinal rule of card tricks - never start a land war in Asia.
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BerkleyJL
Veteran user
Chicago, IL
397 Posts
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Posted: Mar 9, 2005 9:12am
Quote:
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On 2005-03-09 07:27, evanthx wrote:
Just because it's fun to think of lines...
Would have gotten first place but it turns out a deck of cards doesn't do well in the swimsuit competition.
Would have gotten first place but that ribbon was harder to steal.
Would have gotten first place but a second contestant showed up.
Would have gotten first place but I forgot the cardinal rule of card tricks - never start a land war in Asia.
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All of these are great, but I think the last one is for a select audience...
I need a stage name.
Joe Berkley
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evanthx
Regular user
Atlanta, GA
166 Posts
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Posted: Mar 9, 2005 12:24pm
I have to admit the "land war in Asia" quip for me was primarily inspired by Princess Bride.  I think my favorite of the ones I came up with is the swimsuit one.
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Whitewolfny
Regular user
189 Posts
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Posted: Mar 9, 2005 8:28pm
We would have won first place, but I refuse to wear a pushup bra.
Braxton Mannar
Just an old dog trying to learn new tricks 
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Jim Short
Regular user
131 Posts
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Posted: Mar 11, 2005 1:57pm
We would have won first place...
Curse you, William Hung!
http://annemann.blogspot.com/
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tctahoe
V.I.P.
Montana but now Florida (Central)
388 Posts
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Posted: Mar 12, 2005 6:10am
I like the pet Rock line.
Not everyone in the audience needs to get the joke. Do it for the people who remember pet rocks.
If you do the pet rock line and there are a lot of people that don’t get it you could take the line.
We would've gotten 1st place, but apparently the Pet Rock wasn't afraid to go in the water…(beat) For those too young to remember. The Pet Rock was the Chia Pet of the 70’s!
http://www.tctahoe.com
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Smudge
New user
82 Posts
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Posted: Mar 15, 2005 7:34pm
We would have come first,if my riders(point to card case)hadn't of got that puncture.
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Payne
Inner circle
Seattle
3374 Posts
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Posted: Mar 19, 2005 2:55am
We would have won first place but the other deck was really stacked.
Hey second place isn't bad when you consider it was a dog show.
I guess I shouldn't have named him Avis. (even more obscure than the pet rock reference)
I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
http://masterpaynemagic.com
Need a Corset in Seattle? http://fittingroomcorsets.com
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RonCalhoun
Special user
Independence, KY USA
561 Posts
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Posted: Mar 23, 2005 1:45am
I liked this one.
Quote:
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On 2005-03-09 07:27, evanthx wrote:
Would have gotten first place but that ribbon was harder to steal.
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May I suggest getting "The Comic Toolbox" by John Vorhaus
Number 1 Winner of the Café Search Engine Trivia Contest.
http://sos.ky.gov/executive/kentuckycolonels.htm
Member Honorable Order of Kentucky Colonels
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Cabrera
Elite user
Seattle
448 Posts
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Posted: Mar 31, 2005 8:54pm
How about "We would have gotten 1st place, but a couple of Jokers messed things up."
"The quilt of life is woven with many different threads"
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Nicholas J. Johnson
Inner circle
6013 Posts
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Posted: Apr 3, 2005 6:18am
Avoid puns. Magicians do too many puns IMO
(riders with punctures, too many joker, stacked decks! ARGHHH!)
Do the one that people laugh at
Come visit my new blog at The Honest Con Man
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scott b.
Special user
735 Posts
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Posted: Apr 3, 2005 11:25am
LMAO. All these are really great (I especially liked the Swimsuit one and the William Hung one).
Keep em' coming guys.
Thanks! Scott B.
"I don't know the key to success . . . but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby
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