The Magic Café
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Magician jokes (1 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

drkptrs1975
View Profile
Elite user
North Eastern PA
452 Posts

Profile of drkptrs1975
Q) Do you know how a Digitial Camera is like a Magician.
A) They don't do exposure.

Q) How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb.
A) 4 One to think of an effect, one to think of a routine, and the one to pick assistants and one to perform the effect

Q) Who is it that does not even think of going to the emergency room after loosing a thumb
A) A Magician
Donal Chayce
View Profile
Inner circle
The City of Angels
1770 Posts

Profile of Donal Chayce
Quote:
On 2008-12-19 17:46, drkptrs1975 wrote:
Q) How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb.


Seven:

1 to change the bulb; 4 to tell him that he flashed; and 2 to tell everyone else how he did it.
The MacGician ®
***********

The fates lead him who will...him who won't, they drag.
-Seneca
Dynamike
View Profile
Eternal Order
FullTimer
22275 Posts

Profile of Dynamike
Q) What do you call a black man who performs magic as a living in his state?

A) A "magician" you racist!
jocdoc
View Profile
Inner circle
San Diego
1182 Posts

Profile of jocdoc
Did you hear about the magician that was driving down the road? He turned into a driveway!
I do tricks that bring pleasure to many. I'm either a magician or a hooker.
Check out my magic scrapbook:http://www.medicine-in-motion.com/magic.htm
http://www.sprainedangles.com
Give me an inch and I'll give you a smile!
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
15100 Posts

Profile of joseph
During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, "How'd you do that?"
"I could tell you, sir", the magician answered, "But then I'd have to kill you."
After a short pause, the man yelled back, "Ok, then... just tell my wife!"...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
MarceloElGrande
View Profile
New user
78 Posts

Profile of MarceloElGrande
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, "How'd you do that?"
"I could tell you, sir", the magician answered, "But then I'd have to kill you."
After a short pause, the man yelled back, "Ok, then... just tell my wife!"...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Excellent!!!
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." (Steve Martin)
"We are all amateurs, life is too short for us to be anything else" (Charlie Chaplin)
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
15100 Posts

Profile of joseph
Q: A fellow with a rabbit in a hat pin on his lapel and a fellow with a magic wand under his arm are waiting for a cab. Which one is the magician?
A: The cab driver.

When I was a child my mother asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said "A Magician". She said, "You can't do both".

I told my mother "You know, I've half a mind to become a professional magician".
She said "That should do"...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
rick727
View Profile
Regular user
Houston, TX, USA
188 Posts

Profile of rick727
I use this joke as an opener (I have been telling it for years!)

This guy was walking one day when he saw a frog. The frog said, "Hey mister, I'm really a princess. If you kiss me I will turn back into a princess and you will be a prince." The guy said, "Coooolllllll", put the frog in his pocket and walked on down the road.

A little while later he took the frog out and looked at it again. This time the frog said, "Really, I'm a princess. If you kiss me you will be a prince and you will be rich." The guy said, "Coooolllllll", put the frog in his pocket and walked on down the road.

A little while he took the frog out again. This time the frog said, "Hey mister, whats up? Why won't you kiss me?". The guy said, "Look, I'm a close-up magician. I'm not interested in being a prince, or being rich. But a talking frog, now that's Coooolllllll."

After the laughter dies down I say, "Would you like to see something cool?", then I start in with my routines. Usually when specs react to my magic someone will say "Coooolllllll", if not then I do. It is a good call back.
Practice what you present.
Present what you practice.
Rotten
View Profile
Special user
833 Posts

Profile of Rotten
A friend of mine does the frog joke joke. She uses a little old man and a frog that promises pleasures. Clever way of changing an old joke up Rick.
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
15100 Posts

Profile of joseph
A juggler is sent to hell for his sins.
As he is being taken to his place of eternal torment, he sees a magician doing card tricks for a couple of beautiful woman.
"What a rip-off," the juggler muttered. I have to roast for all of eternity, and that magician gets to spend his time doing card tricks for beautiful women!"
Jabbing the juggler with his pitchfork, Satan snarled: "Who are you to question these women's punishment?"...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
AaronishMagic
View Profile
Special user
553 Posts

Profile of AaronishMagic
What's the size of my magic wand?
Now for the people who actually laugh....
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
15100 Posts

Profile of joseph
If Houdini were alive today, what would he be famous for?
He'd be the oldest man alive...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Magic Enhancer
View Profile
Inner circle
Robert Haas
1805 Posts

Profile of Magic Enhancer
If Houdini were alive today, what would he be doing?
Scratching the inside of his coffin!
Robert Haas
Magic Enhancer
Quality magic products for the working professional.
www.MagicEnhancer.com
georgecoolla
View Profile
New user
Canada
80 Posts

Profile of georgecoolla
LOL, Enhancer I like your lines!
JFmagic
View Profile
New user
from a place with only
74 Posts

Profile of JFmagic
I got one I read once," Penn and teller are like a married couple, only one of them gets to talk!"
Revel Rob
View Profile
New user
Toronto
19 Posts

Profile of Revel Rob
I say this for younger college aged audiences who I feel won't be offended (maybe they gave a "Holy S#!t" after one of my effects):
If I'm ever asked "Hey, do you have a rabbit?" or something similar, I respond with:
"Yes, I do. His name is 'Penis' and I can make him disappear... and re-appear... and disappear... and re-appear... and he goes faster and faster until he throws up and passes out for about 20 minutes and he's good to go again"
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Magician jokes (1 Likes)
<<< Previous Topic Next Topic >>>
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001- 2014 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.123457 seconds, requiring 60 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

[1] [0] [4] [9] [8] [3] [3] [0] [9] [0]