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Neznarf Inner circle NY then AZ now 1840 Posts |
So how bad is the economy really doing, you ask?
Jury Duty is now considered a good-paying job. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials! I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?" CEO's are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. My ATM gave me an IOU! A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced. I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife. I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with the purchase was a bank. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them. McDonald's is now selling the 1/4 ouncer. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America . Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned the names of their children. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her! A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico . Motel Six won't leave the light on for you anymore. A picture is now only worth 200 words. They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street ." When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room. One of the casinos in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
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magicgeorge Inner circle Belfast 4299 Posts |
Who wrote these?
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Bob Sanders Grammar Supervisor Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama 20504 Posts |
The economy is so bad that Dialing for Dollars is calling collect!
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Father Photius Grammar Host El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo) 17161 Posts |
The IRS makes you send a self addressed stamped envelope to get your refund.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
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Bob Sanders Grammar Supervisor Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama 20504 Posts |
State troopers have to hitch hike.
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Father Photius Grammar Host El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo) 17161 Posts |
Bums hold up signs that say "this space and site for rent"
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
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Bob Sanders Grammar Supervisor Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama 20504 Posts |
Parking meters are offering quantity discounts.
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Floyd Collins Inner circle Ohio 1633 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-02-10 06:00, magicgeorge wrote: It reads like a letterman top 10 to me but more
No one said it would be easy, or did they?
Check out my all new book "Chicken Scratches" visit my lulu store for more information. http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/thecenterstage http://www.collinscomedymagic.com |
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Bob Sanders Grammar Supervisor Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama 20504 Posts |
Magicians are having to produce stuffed rabbits.
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joseph Eternal Order Please ignore my 17407 Posts |
Ross Perot stopped tipping...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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Bob Sanders Grammar Supervisor Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama 20504 Posts |
Trump has started taking his lunch from home.
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joseph Eternal Order Please ignore my 17407 Posts |
The president cut his 8 vacations to 25 days each...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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Father Photius Grammar Host El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo) 17161 Posts |
The city of El Paso started requiring permits to obtain building permits to fix the things the city caused to be broken by their poor management of utility services.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
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Bob Sanders Grammar Supervisor Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama 20504 Posts |
Crossing guards are coin operated.
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joseph Eternal Order Please ignore my 17407 Posts |
There are parking meters in the church parking lot...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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Bob Sanders Grammar Supervisor Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama 20504 Posts |
The 911 system is part of Pay per View.
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joseph Eternal Order Please ignore my 17407 Posts |
You ride your tricycle to the magic store...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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Bob Sanders Grammar Supervisor Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama 20504 Posts |
Provides free bailouts for thieves.
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joseph Eternal Order Please ignore my 17407 Posts |
Lowered my 401k to 201k...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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Bob Sanders Grammar Supervisor Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama 20504 Posts |
We drink the beer so we can sell the cans.
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