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zaubern Veteran user Seattle, Wa 335 Posts |
There is always the problem if you break up and she doesn't want to work with you. You have to find someone else and this could be hard.
P.S. I just wanted to add that working with someone you have chemistry with really reflects on stage...it looks a lot better if it's there.
Zaubern
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briansmagic Special user USA 507 Posts |
Zaubern,
Thanks for bringing up the good point of showing chemistry to the audience. I never even thought that the natural unstaged chemistry would be seen by the audience. Great point! |
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crazyhands New user 53 Posts |
It's just my opinion that you shouldn't mix business with pleasure, just my .02 cents
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WandSpin New user 59 Posts |
My fiance and I perform together. We have a common interest (and make money) so I think our relationship is healthier.
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rowdymagi5 Inner circle Virginia 3616 Posts |
It really all comes down to trust. Everyone has a unique perspective, and has a unique relationship. What's good for some, isn't good for others. This is a personal decision that no amount of advice can really help!
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Dynamike Eternal Order FullTimer 24148 Posts |
If you think she is active enough for what your interest are, take the chance.
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Geoff Weber Inner circle Washington DC 1384 Posts |
It's good if it's something she's interested in. Don't twist her arm or beg her to do it.
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DanielGreenWolf Veteran user Waterbury, CT 363 Posts |
If your other half is highly interested in it, by all means do it. I have been working with my girlfriend in shows for over a year. But there are a few bits of advice I received from Jeff McBride and others about this, and a few I've learned from experience.
--Daniel GreenWolf |
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Bob Sanders Grammar Supervisor Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama 20504 Posts |
Brian,
Assuming the ability to pay an assistant is there, whom would you use? If you were a singer, would you want just any band? You have a show to do. Assistants are not dumb, untrained, extra people. They are part of the show. The real question is do they belong in the show? Your show? I do both, hire assistants and use my significant other. But I've only been doing magic a little over 40 years. (I hope I’m not halfway through yet.) The first 15 we had to hire them although I was married for seven years of it. My spouse was "Too Professional" to be on stage. She was a college dean. It was not a good fit for the show. It worked fine. (And no, there were no extra activities with my assistants. I guess it must have been a boring life to others.) She liked entertainers, but not entertaining. The next 16 years I had a spouse with an acting and modeling background and excellent stage training. She worked with me when she could and I hired someone else when she could not or the job required it. This too worked fine. It perhaps worked better because I traveled constantly and I did not have to make travel arrangements for an assistant. Now I am married to the best assistant ever with an extensive ballet and modeling background. But she also has her own show and a medical practice. We can not always work together. Sometimes, I'm her assistant. This works well too. When we play, we play. When we work, we work hard. Often, magic is play and/or work. We consider magic conventions together playtime. My message is still consistent. The show needs to be the best show you can deliver. And your personal relationship needs to be the best one you can deliver also. They may or may not fit. That can be sometimes, always and never. Lucy (my wife) and Pam (Johnny Thompson’s wife) agree that it is nice for a magician’s assistant to own her own magician. We like it! Bob Sanders Magic By Sander |
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Dayanara New user Michigan 64 Posts |
Sorry, but I'd have to agree with the naysayers in this situation. I'd be too worried that my relationship would get in the way of my job, or that we'd break up and I'd lose my magician/assistant (frankly, I'm ready to work in either direction). I also wouldn't work for any hot guys (You Know Who excluded), because men tend to get just as jealous as women sometimes.
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Bill Palmer Eternal Order Only Jonathan Townsend has more than 24312 Posts |
I, too, would have to agree with the naysayers. If you don't have a really stable relationship with your girlfriend, then having her as an assistant can be a disaster. If you break up, she can RUIN your show for you.
My wife and I have a really great marriage. This is partially due to the fact that I don't expect her to be a box jumper and she doesn't expect me to participate in Scottish Country Dancing. I go to her performances, applaud and enjoy myself. Sometimes I run sound for her. But I am not a Scottish Country Dancer. She knows I'm a perfectionist and she is afraid she will mess something up. However, she also knows that I am not going to run off with some little cupcake just because she can fit in the Indian Basket Illusion. I have had some wonderful assistants, and a couple of dogs! But the wonderful ones were great, and I was never tempted to wander off with them.
"The Swatter"
Founder of CODBAMMC My Chickasaw name is "Throws Money at Cups." www.cupsandballsmuseum.com |
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Bill Hegbli Eternal Order Fort Wayne, Indiana 22797 Posts |
A lot depends on wheather your girlfriend or wife really enjoys magic. Not many do, so if she is doing it because you want her to, forget it.
I have never found a woman that I had a relationship with that wanted to perform in my show. Thus I am going on 25 years with a wife. The other side is how jealous will your girl friend or spouse be if you hire someone. This can cause problems if you travel a lot. When you get home the house may be dark or your cloths on the lawn. Very serious considerations to be made up front. |
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Rob Johnston Inner circle Utah 2060 Posts |
I think the greatest Assistant I have ever seen is the WIFE of Johnny Thompson. She cracks me up and adds so much to the show. I love to see her on stage with The Great Thomsini.
If you have doubts about using a girlfriend or wife...just watch Johnny perform.
"Genius is another word for magic, and the whole point of magic is that it is inexplicable." - Margot Fonteyn
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SWMagicsPinkLady New user Roanoke/Hampton, VA 2 Posts |
I think it's a great idea. And, too we do keep Magic Secrets to ourselves. I am dating a Magician but has no calls for me to be his at this time. And, I love too be involved because it is a wonderful thing to share.
"I Love Magic".. |
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Red_Magic_Jones New user \ 20 Posts |
Boy what a sticky topic!
This was somthing that I know that Robert wrestled over when we got together. We didn't end up hooking up like a normal dating couple, a friend of ours (who also happends to be a magician) got us together under the pretense that Robert needed a new assistant (I had no idea he was intersted in dating me till later). So poor guy wanted me as his assistant and wanted to date me at the same time. From what he had told me he tried using a girlfriend before as his assistant and it didn't work out. Our first date was to a magic show and our second to a lecture, and neither one of us really wanted to mix business and personal, but we decided to give it a shot. Turns out that it worked out amazing for us. With our crazy schedules we could spend time together practicing and performing. And later on down the road we ended up tying the knot, and I made the move from assistant to partner in show. So I guess I would say it really depends on each of you as individuals. No one answer is going to be right for everyone. |
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Bob Sanders Grammar Supervisor Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama 20504 Posts |
Looking at this topic again after four months, there is one more factor I feel should be considered. That is competition. Some people are simply too competitive to assist anyone without being in charge. If competition within the act causes a problem, the thing to do is keep shopping. The act needs a solution, not a contest. Multiple relationships are a fact of life. They work when the boundries are honored. I've been very lucky.
Bob |
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salsa_dancer Inner circle 1935 Posts |
It is hard enough these days getting the girlfriend to even let me practice on her let alone become an assistant!!!
Congratualtions to those that have managed it |
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zur Special user California 671 Posts |
I agree!
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Laughing Otter Loyal user Behind you! 205 Posts |
Whoa, there, Briansmagic!
Whaddaya mean you wouldn't have to pay her as much as a dancer? If she has the ability to do as good a job as someone off the street, and the two of you decide she will be your stage partner, you had darned well better be willing to pay her exactly as if she were a stranger!! Anything else would be just plain wrong. |
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Kenn Capman Regular user Southwestern Michigan 196 Posts |
I have to go with Laughing Otter on this one, Briansmagic.
If your girlfriend is doing the work of a dancer/actor, she should receive the same pay that a dancer/actor would. I used to run a fairly large show with my wife, in addition to my solo stand-up and psychic shows. Whenever the large show was booked (i.e. the show that included my wife) the fees almost doubled due to the fact that she deserved a decent payday for all of her rehearsal time and performance energy. (Not to mention the fascinating collection of scrapes and bruises she collected while we developed our sub-trunk routine, but that's another story!) Bottom line is; anybody that performs a service to enhance your show should be fairly compensated. It doesn't matter if they're running your lights and sound, acting on stage with you, or managing your backstage logistics (or in some cases all of the above). Further, it doesn't matter if they're your girlfriend, boyfriend, aunt, uncle, kid next door, or the stray mutt you load into your Temple of Benares. If someone wants to apprentice under you in order to learn, that's another story. There is a different implied relationship there. Interns are not typically paid very much, if at all. Even then, be good to your student. Pick up the check when you go out after the show once in a while. But I repeat; if someone is doing the work, they deserve to be compensated regardless of their relationship to you.
"The thermometer of success is merely the jealousy of the malcontents."
- Salvador Dali - |
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