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vanitywilde
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A person heard that I do seances and after seeing one of them, she has asked me to help her make contact with her sister who died last month unexpectedly. I, of course, am not going to take advantage of her situation but I also want to make sure that no one does either as she sounds desparate enough to try and find someone else who will gladly rid her of her money and exploit her grief.


What I have come up with is this: I want to make her a one time use "potion" to ensure her success in contacting her sister. I then want to also give her a spirit board since, given how they work, she will surely be able to contact her sister and get the answers she is looking for. I will do this for her free of charge as I am uncomfortable banking on anyones suffering.


I am sure that many of you who also do seances have had people make the same requests of you. How have you handled the situation?


Vanity Wilde
jamiesalinas
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Four years ago when I decided to embark on this adventure called "Seances", I was very concerned about getting in the same situation that you have described. In my seances, I am not a medium who channels the spirits but more of a ghost hunter that seeks to make contact with the spirits that haunt a location or an item. Despite taking these precautions, I too have been approached to make contact with a loved one. My response the first time this happened involved a person that I recognized as a city government civic leader. I knew of the sudden passing of an individual involved in politics and put the two together when she asked if I could make contact with a friend. My response was simple. I simply said:

I wish I could but I do not have the gift to contact specific individuals. I stated that I was sensitive to spirits and I could feel the energy of the sudden loss of a very close friend. She said yes you can contact them, that is who I want to contact. I then said that I could sense the energy around her of her friend and that he wanted her to know that he was happy. I also told her that every time she saw or heard something that reminded her of him was his way of making contact with her to let her know that he will always be with her. She was very happy with this information and it seemed to satisfy her.

Another time with another person after going through the same explanation, I suggested that she try to make contact with the spirit herself. She told me that she had seen this person at the foot of her bed and seemed to want to tell her something. I explained that when we sleep, our minds go into an altered state and it was during this time that we are open to communication with the spirits much like a medium. I suggested that before she go to sleep to say out loud that she wants to know what he wants to tell her and to then go to sleep. I told he may make contact in her dreams.

A week later, this woman told me that she did what I told her and that in her dreams this person visited her and gave her the message she was supposed to receive. She thanks me a lot and asked me for a card reading. I did the reading of course free of charge. This seemed to really help her. Maybe suggest this method of communication rather than providing her with a spirit board.

I hope this helps.

Jamie
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magicusb
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We do get this question.

We explain, which is clear from our event, that everything we do only revolves around the specific characters and props in the story that we talk about in our presentation. We are in no way able to contact specific spirits that involves others.

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I think I agree with Dick. Referring to characters, props and stories says "this is only entertainment" without destroying the mystery of the characters, props and stories.
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JAlenS
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I don't use disclaimers for anything I do EXCEPT seance. If someone asks me to contact a deceased loved one or friend I simply won't do it. I explain to them what Dick and Jamie have posted but in my own way. I haven't performed hundreds of seances but I don't remember NOT being asked to contact someone's deceased friend or relative.

I like Vanity's idea about the "potion" but I'm not sure that I would personally give someone a board with ZOZO popping up all over the place Smile

Kidding, but giving someone a board to make their own contact could be a very nice marketing vehicle.
handa
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In psychotherapy, we have the phenonmenon of "doctor shopping." This is when somebody decides that they have a specific diagnosis and transfers treatment from provider to provider until they hear and/or get what they want in terms of therapy and medication. In particular, people who over-rely upon a specific medication or in some cases misuse talk therapy time for social or other non-therapy purposes will do this, and the system allows them to do so. I have no control over the next person that they see, but I obviously am not helping them if they are resistant to treatment.

I acknowledge the situation. I also let them know that if they want to use their right to consumer choice they have the option to leave me to find somebody who will eventually tell them what they want to hear. However, this is not therapy and not a sound medical practice in terms of prescribing medicine, and I will not be a part of it.

The ethical dilemma is the same: if I feed into a nonexistant condition, then I am enabling the consumer and not helping them with their progress.

Chris
vanitywilde
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Thank you all so much for all of your comments. Reading what all of you have done in similar situations will help me determine the best way to go about this. I feel her loss and desparation so I want to "help" and not be dismissive to her suffering.

My reason for the potion is because this person is of faith. Having seen my performances and after talking to others, she strongly believes in my abilities. While I do not feel that I have to help her, I feel responsible for making her believe in the possibility and so I feel that I must do something; albeit small for me, I know it will mean allot to her. I figured that by making her a potion, she would feel that I am there helping her, without me actually being there and it will open her up mentally allowing her success in what she is trying to accomplish.

I wanted the potion to be one-time-use because I figure that she will make the best contact through the spirit board the first time. I will warn her that other spirits will be watching, waiting- so it is important that she not attempt this again as some spirits can be manipulative and she may not realize that, next time, she could be speaking to someone one else pretending to be her sister who may not have her best interest. I don't want her to feel as if the board will be a sort of cell phone for whenever she wants to chat with her sister as I feel that this could make the grieving process stagnant. I want to explain to her that it is imperative not to bind a loved one to a board as they need to continue their journey and the board can sometimes ground spirits; explaining to her that many of the spirits that are around today are earthbound because others grounded them not understanding how easy it is to bind a spirit to this world early after they have passed.
Slim King
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Quote:
On 2012-05-23 01:06, jamiesalinas wrote:
Four years ago when I decided to embark on this adventure called "Seances", I was very concerned about getting in the same situation that you have described. In my seances, I am not a medium who channels the spirits but more of a ghost hunter that seeks to make contact with the spirits that haunt a location or an item. Despite taking these precautions, I too have been approached to make contact with a loved one. My response the first time this happened involved a person that I recognized as a city government civic leader. I knew of the sudden passing of an individual involved in politics and put the two together when she asked if I could make contact with a friend. My response was simple. I simply said:

I wish I could but I do not have the gift to contact specific individuals. I stated that I was sensitive to spirits and I could feel the energy of the sudden loss of a very close friend. She said yes you can contact them, that is who I want to contact. I then said that I could sense the energy around her of her friend and that he wanted her to know that he was happy. I also told her that every time she saw or heard something that reminded her of him was his way of making contact with her to let her know that he will always be with her. She was very happy with this information and it seemed to satisfy her.

Another time with another person after going through the same explanation, I suggested that she try to make contact with the spirit herself. She told me that she had seen this person at the foot of her bed and seemed to want to tell her something. I explained that when we sleep, our minds go into an altered state and it was during this time that we are open to communication with the spirits much like a medium. I suggested that before she go to sleep to say out loud that she wants to know what he wants to tell her and to then go to sleep. I told he may make contact in her dreams.

A week later, this woman told me that she did what I told her and that in her dreams this person visited her and gave her the message she was supposed to receive. She thanks me a lot and asked me for a card reading. I did the reading of course free of charge. This seemed to really help her. Maybe suggest this method of communication rather than providing her with a spirit board.

I hope this helps.

Jamie

It helped ME!!!!! Thanks!!!!
THE MAN THE SKEPTICS REFUSE TO TEST FOR ONE MILLION DOLLARS.. The Worlds Foremost Authority on Houdini's Life after Death.....
dmkraig
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The challenge with seances is that even though you give 10,000 disclaimers, even though you say "everything we do only revolves around the specific characters and props in the story that we talk about in our presentation," even if you were to stand on your head while shouting, "It's a show! It's make-believe! I'm a magician!" people will still believe you can help them contact their loved ones. People will believe what they want to believe. I've been offered a LOT of money to contact relatives.

My first response is simply, "I'm sorry, I'd be swamped giving private seances and my goal is to entertain, not give specific communications as you might like."

If that doesn't work, I call them aside and say something to this effect: "I'm sure you want to contact your relative because you love him/her. I know you feel the loss. Spiritually, after we physically die, our spirit moves on until we are ready to reincarnate. Any spirits I contact have been here a long time. They LIKE not moving on. Contacting your deceased loved one would be holding them back from their spiritual evolution, and I'm sure you don't want to do that. Did you love that person much? (Wait for the obvious "yes" answer.) Then hold those wonderful memories in your heart and be at peace with them. Know that by not trying to contact them you are showing your love and allowing them to return and spiritually evolve. You do want them to do what's best for them, don't you?"

This last question is actually a type of force. If they respond yes, I respond, "Then go, and be at peace. Be assured that your love for them will be returned to you 100-fold." If they respond no, I say, "I'm sorry, but you're coming at this from a self-centered point of view, one that could actually harm your loved one on his/her path. Don't seek to hold them back. Find peace by knowing they loved you. Keep their memories close and choose to honor them."
Necromancer
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Not surprisingly, I get this a lot. To handle such queries, I have two paths.

If the person doesn't seem to be seriously grieving but merely curious, I tell him or her, point blank, that the world is full of unscrupulous mediums who would be happy to part them from their money with the promise of contacting their loved one. But it's entirely unnecessary to contact a third party. Nobody has a stronger connection with the departed than the person approaching me—the one who has been so deeply touched by that person in life. Then I explain that all they need to do is set aside an evening to sit in a darkened room, turn off the phone and other distractions, and listen to their inner voice. If the circumstances are right and they remain open, they'll feel that contact. I'll even ask them to reevaluate past dream experiences they've had about this person; we're made to expect contact in a seance-like atmosphere by the depictions of the media, but that's no reason to discount the contacts we may have received while in a dreamlike state. The response from the querent has always been positive.

If the passing is very recent and the person is obviously grieving, I have a friend who is a licensed grief counselor and can provide genuine help. Under such circumstances, referring people to him is simply the responsible choice.

Best,
Neil
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Slim King
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I love this thread !!!!!! Smile
THE MAN THE SKEPTICS REFUSE TO TEST FOR ONE MILLION DOLLARS.. The Worlds Foremost Authority on Houdini's Life after Death.....
seadog93
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I have only have used a couple specific types of seance successfully.
They both involve the participants directly contacting a loved one or a spirit guide directly, in the safety of their own imagination, and communicating/communing with them.

Conveniently, since this type of seance is something I completely believe in, I have no problems doing it for someone.
I do a full hour long seance of this type, after which anyone who participated is able to do the process on their own any time they want, and a very short seance that can be done at the end of a show or personally for an individual. It basically accomplishes the same thing that (I think) you are going for by offering a ouija board but is more direct and doesn't have the difficulty of the preconceived ideas many have about the boards.

I am currently VERY excited about Docc's seance that he is teaching. It is more theatric and opens itself, I suspect, more to this type of question. A short, personal (free) mini seance is what I would offer someone who came to me after that particular seance.
I will also be taking into account the wonderful ideas of jamiesalinas above. Really good!
"Love is the magician who pulls man out of his own hat" - Ben Hecht

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Eddie Garland
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seadog93
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I feel like I've seen that one, I can't quite remember. I'll re-watch it when I get the chance.

I loved the first season, but got progressively less impressed with their televangelist ways.
Actually I got sick of them for a while, but I recently saw a clip which I LOVED, where they said that if they where able to know the final episode of ******** was coming they would do a ******** of ******** episode where they systematically rip on their own show and beliefs in exactly the same way they rip on others.
Not only would that be an extremely entertaining show, I am very impressed that they would be open enough to want to do that.
They gained a lot of points with me (as if they care Smile ) with that interview.
"Love is the magician who pulls man out of his own hat" - Ben Hecht

"Love says 'I am everything.' Wisdom says 'I am nothing'. Between the two, my life flows." -Nisargadatta Maharaj

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Slim King
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I think that I'd like to rip them a new one ... Wish I had a chance to Debate Penn ... Lot's of AMAZING BULLSH!T (The name of their show) I'd like to discuss. Smile
To be fair I do like Penn's presentational personality and I do find him entertaining!!!! I'm not a hater although there are issues .... but I have so many questions ......
THE MAN THE SKEPTICS REFUSE TO TEST FOR ONE MILLION DOLLARS.. The Worlds Foremost Authority on Houdini's Life after Death.....
TH1
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Quote:
On 2012-05-23 13:30, Eddie Garland wrote:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sb4_TKByRLY


Thank you.
Beware of evil spirits...and depleted batteries! Smile
Slim King
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Quote:
On 2012-05-23 15:36, Slim King wrote:
I think that I'd like to rip them a new one ... Wish I had a chance to Debate Penn ... Lot's of AMAZING BULLSH!T (The name of their show) I'd like to discuss. Smile
To be fair I do like Penn's presentational personality and I do find him entertaining!!!! I'm not a hater although there are issues .... but I have so many questions ......

I didn't want to come off as a @ss ... I was just using lines from the video .... Sorry!!!! Smile
THE MAN THE SKEPTICS REFUSE TO TEST FOR ONE MILLION DOLLARS.. The Worlds Foremost Authority on Houdini's Life after Death.....
RCP
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No worries we are all family here….ethics are a personal matter, much like religious beliefs
As long as you….”do no harm”….
If I had no ethics I could skin plenty of rubes……hopefully a special place in hell awaits those that do…..but probably not…… maybe a good wope ***, Smile
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This is a great thread everyone. Lives up to the "Magicians Helping Magicians" credo of the Café. Thank you for putting in the time.
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
gothicmagic
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The same people that go to Seances are the same that truly believe in Tarot readings,etc, many of these people are merely seeking solace and to be understood, if we can give them a moment of kindness that takes away their pain without inserting our beliefs, I feel we should.
I mean isn't it worth helping a human instead of showing off a move or prop, we are all sharing the experience of this life, let us help rather than shatter and hinder.
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