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Skip Way
Inner circle
3446 Posts
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Posted: Jun 30, 2005 11:26pm
My favorites:
"Well, If I was really good, I'd be in New York or LA...and just look what you'd have missed!"
"Ta da! Now...THAT's how the trick should never, EVER be done! Now let me show you the right way."
"Whoa! That almost looked like a real mistake, huh!"
"I knew I should have read those instructions!"
"Er...excuse me. Would you mind looking over there for a second? Yeah. Right there. That's good...now hold it. Hmm-hmm-mmm-mmm-ow-Hmmm Okay....that's got it. Thanks! WHAT?!?"
"This has been a test of the audience awareness system. Had this been a real screw up your magician would be hiding beneath a table right now. This was only a test."
(For my bar gigs:) "Bet you folks were expecting a REAL magician, huh? Man, did you get screwed! Hell, I'm not even a real bartender!"
(Handing the customer one of my custom printed million dollar bill business cards:) "Psst! Here! Pretend you didn't see that and there's another one for ya at the end of the act!"
:o) Skip
Proudly Serving the Magic Community in the Old North State
I.B.M. T.V.P. North Carolina
www.Magic-NC.com
I.B.M. Youth/Magic Youth Raleigh
RaleighMagicClub.org
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Lee Darrow
V.I.P.
Chicago, IL USA
3594 Posts
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Posted: Jul 2, 2005 5:35am
"Well folks, another stunning demonstration of my amazing powers of klutzokinesis!"
"You are aware that this trick will be featured next week on Fear Factor? Except that the contestants will have to try to get it right?"
"At the count of three, you will all waken from your deep hypnotic trance and applaud like mad! One ... two ... I guess THAT didn't work either, did it...?"
Lee Darrow, C.H.
http://www.leedarrow.com
"Because NICE Matters!"
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KyletheGreat
Special user
Georgia
560 Posts
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Posted: Jul 3, 2005 8:27pm
Something just happens:
"I knew I should have sacraficed that chicken before the show!"
"This magic is tricky business!"
"My fingers have a mind of their own!"
Something falls:
"Well folks, there is nothing to worry about, the laws of gravity are still in effect! THis is a very good thing to make yourself asure of!"
"Ladies and Gentlemen...IT'S A FLOOR SHOW!"
"Did you see that!!!??? I mad the floor rise all the way up to the (prop goes here)
Kyle Jarrard
"Entertainment at its Best"
http://www.kylesmagic.com
http://www.hypnobilly.com
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onezero1
Regular user
178 Posts
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Posted: Jul 6, 2005 8:16am
For close-up amateurs: "***, I really wanted to show YOU that one,I thought it was perfect for you...actually maybe that's karma, I just thought of one that's made for you!" then perform the next effect in your routine.
'though it stands to reason that a samurai should be mindful of the Way...it would seem that we are all negligent.
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Euangelion
Special user
688 Posts
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Posted: Jul 6, 2005 9:58am
"I thought I'd show you something new, unfortunately, the rest of the instructions come in the mail next week."
Bill Esborn
"Lutefisk: the piece of cod that passes all understanding."
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tnscot
Loyal user
220 Posts
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Posted: May 29, 2007 1:07pm
Here's an idea...(keeping in mind that this is coming from someone who hasnt performed yet):
I would have a comedy "out" set up for every trick, so that if I flubbed it, I could make it look like a joke. This would be especially effective if you have a couple of jokes in your routine already. It may be an effect that you wouldnt have eanted them to see, but the audience need never know that you didn't mean to let them see it.
As Always,
Scot Legdermain
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Justin Style
Inner circle
2010 Posts
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Posted: Jul 31, 2007 4:13pm
Only an amateur calls attention to his mistakes. A pro goes with the flow.
That said, my line is: I'm not God.
Or, See, I told you I was half human.
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Amazing Magic Co
Inner circle
1382 Posts
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Posted: Aug 5, 2007 9:56pm
Along the lines of Justin's comment, I am reminded by something Jolly Roger noted and that was to appear to make mistakes on purpose. Instead of highlighting the fact things went wrong, what could be done to act that the flub was intentional and recover with a back up plan? Afterall, the audience doesn't know the script has taken an unexpected detour? Some of the lines in this thread are helpful.
Dan.
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kosmoshiva
Loyal user
Canada
255 Posts
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Posted: Sep 13, 2007 10:37pm
Always have outs prepared for the essential sticking points - and I don't just mean lines but actions, too, that fit with the presentation. It doesn't have to be comic if that's not your style, but you'd best be prepared when the thread breaks and you've still got three long minutes of pre-recorded music to go! If you're doing an effect using danger (guillotines, firearms, spikes, etc), and if you don't have safety checks built into the script and/or pre-show prop-check, then you deserve all you get.
Salvano had a lovely bit with a dropped card and a fan production from his shoe that ended up in his permanent act, I believe.
Don't forget to breathe.
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MatthewBlackwell
Regular user
Bexhill-On-Sea, England
140 Posts
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Posted: Feb 29, 2008 4:02pm
Cor, some of these are brilliant!
A lot of these lines are better than some 'standard' patter. It's deeply tempting to sacrifice a trick for the ability to use a few of these! 
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The Donster
Inner circle
4813 Posts
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Posted: Mar 2, 2008 2:25am
MatthewBlackwell you have a Very Excellent Idea. but what Trick do you kind of Boo Boo Things with.
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donrodrigo
Special user
U.S.A. and Europe
593 Posts
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Posted: Mar 9, 2008 5:06am
Please friends let's put these great phrases in ONE good form I would love to download them on my printer.I'ts always good to have as much literature as possible even a pro. can always refer to these. O by the way MagicMike (David Seth Kotkin)
on one of his Italian and if I do remember correctly in Milan made many Bad mistakes and was critisized...
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NicholasD
Inner circle
1020 Posts
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Posted: Mar 10, 2008 12:25am
I saw one of my favorite magicians lecture recently. He was performing a ring routine, and dropped the key ring. Without missing a beat, he quickly picked it up and said, " my God, it broke! ". It was one of the best laughs of the night. I'm still wondering if he did it on purpose.
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Magicmike1949
Special user
605 Posts
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Posted: Mar 30, 2008 9:26pm
I'm sure that to the untrained eye that looked like a mistake. But I assure you it was just an illusion.
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dpe666
Inner circle
Under your bed or in your closet
2782 Posts
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Posted: Apr 25, 2008 8:58pm
**** happens. 
Find my e-books at
http://www.mentalshocks.com
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Sammy J.
Inner circle
Castle Rock, Colorado
1730 Posts
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Posted: Jul 21, 2008 6:18pm
I just washed my hands and can't do a thing with them.
Sammy J. Teague
When the Docs give your wife 18 months to live and it has been 10 years, that is a miracle!
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Sordini
New user
Ireland
59 Posts
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Posted: Oct 27, 2008 7:16pm
In an effect, the parts where something can go wrong need a specific line, or even better a least a little thought... A lot of the posts above make me cringe as a magician. Would a human cringe more? Are they sure fire laughs?
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The Great Smartini
Inner circle
2282 Posts
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Posted: Feb 24, 2009 10:47pm
Well that's the last magic trick I buy from David Blaine/Criss Angel/David Copperfield.
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InventorRu
New user
60 Posts
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Posted: Jan 8, 2010 3:10pm
Said thoughtfully
"Mmm....it looked so easy in the book"
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Lawrence O
Inner circle
Paris France
6269 Posts
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Posted: Jan 11, 2010 8:21am
Wait! When I'm good I'm good but when I'm bad I'm better
Magic is not a performing art where people don't know how situations are reached, it's the art of showing parallel dimensions that can't be reached
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Robin DeWitt
Regular user
187 Posts
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Posted: Jan 12, 2010 5:15am
Quote:
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On 2008-03-30 21:26, Magicmike1949 wrote:
I'm sure that to the untrained eye that looked like a mistake. But I assure you it was just an illusion.
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Just a thought. How about, "I'm sure that to the untrained eye that looked like a mistake, but may I remind you I deal in illusion."
I am the fakir, you....
Robin DeWitt
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Lawrence O
Inner circle
Paris France
6269 Posts
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Posted: Jan 23, 2010 4:21am
Magic is not a performing art where people don't know how situations are reached, it's the art of showing parallel dimensions that can't be reached
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RodHousley
New user
51 Posts
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Posted: Feb 1, 2010 11:08pm
My favorite is "This is a comedy and magic show, if it's not funny, then it's magic."
I believe that magician's and performers should not be so afraid of making a mistake. I believe it makes us look human and audiences appreciate the humanous quality in us. We are human and we will make mistakes. I have yet to have a perfect show. It is always always growing and changing because of the mistakes being made. If it is a mistake, maybe it should be taken out of the show or at least deeply studied.
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andini1
New user
UK
89 Posts
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Posted: Feb 2, 2010 1:57pm
I say, "You're probably thinking that was a mistake - it's not - it's all part of the act. It wasn't part of the act last night; but it is tonight."
Or, "It makes you want to go outside and throw yourself under a blonde!!"
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Ms. Merizing
Loyal user
Opening soon: a trading post for my
228 Posts
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Posted: Apr 10, 2010 1:51am
I quote, in French, the last stanza of L'héautontimorouménos by Charles Baudelaire. This non-sequitur refocuses the audience to, "what did they just say?" mode. Swiftly, I move on to the next routine.
Or as Pee Wee Herman would say, "I meant to do that".
Pleased to continue finding that all the world's a stage.
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epoptika
Elite user
Florida
449 Posts
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Posted: May 2, 2010 11:18pm
Quote:
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On 2010-02-02 13:57, andini1 wrote:
I say, "You're probably thinking that was a mistake - it's not - it's all part of the act. It wasn't part of the act last night; but it is tonight."
Or, "It makes you want to go outside and throw yourself under a blonde!!"
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magicfish
Inner circle
2836 Posts
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Posted: Aug 7, 2010 8:26am
Quote:
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On 2004-09-02 15:25, Clifford the Red wrote:
Hey, **** happens so what is your favorite tension releaser?
My favorites are -
Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. (quote from Emo Phillips)
and from Eugene -
Well, back to the drawing board with that one!
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Thanks for watching, and don't worry she'll be fine after a little surgery, and my assistant will be around to help you with those pesky blood stains. Try the veal!
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Magicmike1949
Special user
605 Posts
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Posted: Nov 6, 2011 1:47am
Where are the hecklers when you need them?
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LaurensMalter
Regular user
Belgium
120 Posts
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Posted: Nov 7, 2011 1:40pm
These are great!
Just a little disturbing that there are so many.. haha
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charliewerner
Regular user
162 Posts
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Posted: Nov 9, 2011 9:07pm
"Years of fooling with card, they tend to fool you back"
"Did you put in the card, let me check, what is the name of your card? Nope, it not in the deck...it in my mouth"
Recovery can be done easily with cards, Coin...but I guess it hard on certain trick, such as levitation effect..
In the end, just do other amazing stuff and hope to misdirect them from your mistake. This can be done since most magician confuse their audience and most audience don't know what magician is doing...
"Seeing Joy, Sadness, Anger,Contempt,Surprise, Disgust,Fear on people faces are the motivation of my MAGIC" Charlie Werner (C.C.L)
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