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Skip Way
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Profile of Skip Way
My favorites:

"Well, If I was really good, I'd be in New York or LA...and just look what you'd have missed!"

"Ta da! Now...THAT's how the trick should never, EVER be done! Now let me show you the right way."

"Whoa! That almost looked like a real mistake, huh!"

"I knew I should have read those instructions!"

"Er...excuse me. Would you mind looking over there for a second? Yeah. Right there. That's hold it. Hmm-hmm-mmm-mmm-ow-Hmmm Okay....that's got it. Thanks! WHAT?!?"

"This has been a test of the audience awareness system. Had this been a real screw up your magician would be hiding beneath a table right now. This was only a test."

(For my bar gigs:) "Bet you folks were expecting a REAL magician, huh? Man, did you get screwed! Hell, I'm not even a real bartender!"

(Handing the customer one of my custom printed million dollar bill business cards:) "Psst! Here! Pretend you didn't see that and there's another one for ya at the end of the act!"

:o) Skip
How you leave others feeling after an Experience with you becomes your Trademark.

Magic Youth Raleigh -
Lee Darrow
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"Well folks, another stunning demonstration of my amazing powers of klutzokinesis!"

"You are aware that this trick will be featured next week on Fear Factor? Except that the contestants will have to try to get it right?"

"At the count of three, you will all waken from your deep hypnotic trance and applaud like mad! One ... two ... I guess THAT didn't work either, did it...?"

Lee Darrow, C.H.
<BR>"Because NICE Matters!"
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Profile of KyletheGreat
Something just happens:

"I knew I should have sacraficed that chicken before the show!"

"This magic is tricky business!"

"My fingers have a mind of their own!"

Something falls:

"Well folks, there is nothing to worry about, the laws of gravity are still in effect! THis is a very good thing to make yourself asure of!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen...IT'S A FLOOR SHOW!"

"Did you see that!!!??? I mad the floor rise all the way up to the (prop goes here)
Kyle Jarrard
"Entertainment at its Best"
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Profile of onezero1
For close-up amateurs: "***, I really wanted to show YOU that one,I thought it was perfect for you...actually maybe that's karma, I just thought of one that's made for you!" then perform the next effect in your routine.
'though it stands to reason that a samurai should be mindful of the would seem that we are all negligent.
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Profile of Euangelion
"I thought I'd show you something new, unfortunately, the rest of the instructions come in the mail next week."
Bill Esborn

"Lutefisk: the piece of cod that passes all understanding."
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Profile of tnscot
Here's an idea...(keeping in mind that this is coming from someone who hasnt performed yet):
I would have a comedy "out" set up for every trick, so that if I flubbed it, I could make it look like a joke. This would be especially effective if you have a couple of jokes in your routine already. It may be an effect that you wouldnt have eanted them to see, but the audience need never know that you didn't mean to let them see it.
As Always,
Scot Legdermain
Justin Style
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Profile of Justin Style
Only an amateur calls attention to his mistakes. A pro goes with the flow.

That said, my line is: I'm not God.

Or, See, I told you I was half human.
Amazing Magic Co
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Along the lines of Justin's comment, I am reminded by something Jolly Roger noted and that was to appear to make mistakes on purpose. Instead of highlighting the fact things went wrong, what could be done to act that the flub was intentional and recover with a back up plan? Afterall, the audience doesn't know the script has taken an unexpected detour? Some of the lines in this thread are helpful.

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Profile of kosmoshiva
Always have outs prepared for the essential sticking points - and I don't just mean lines but actions, too, that fit with the presentation. It doesn't have to be comic if that's not your style, but you'd best be prepared when the thread breaks and you've still got three long minutes of pre-recorded music to go! If you're doing an effect using danger (guillotines, firearms, spikes, etc), and if you don't have safety checks built into the script and/or pre-show prop-check, then you deserve all you get.

Salvano had a lovely bit with a dropped card and a fan production from his shoe that ended up in his permanent act, I believe.
Don't forget to breathe.
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Profile of MatthewBlackwell
Cor, some of these are brilliant!

A lot of these lines are better than some 'standard' patter. It's deeply tempting to sacrifice a trick for the ability to use a few of these! Smile
The Donster
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MatthewBlackwell you have a Very Excellent Idea. but what Trick do you kind of Boo Boo Things with.
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Profile of donrodrigo
Please friends let's put these great phrases in ONE good form I would love to download them on my printer.I'ts always good to have as much literature as possible even a pro. can always refer to these. O by the way MagicMike (David Seth Kotkin)
on one of his Italian and if I do remember correctly in Milan made many Bad mistakes and was critisized...
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Profile of NicholasD
I saw one of my favorite magicians lecture recently. He was performing a ring routine, and dropped the key ring. Without missing a beat, he quickly picked it up and said, " my God, it broke! ". It was one of the best laughs of the night. I'm still wondering if he did it on purpose.
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Profile of Magicmike1949
I'm sure that to the untrained eye that looked like a mistake. But I assure you it was just an illusion.
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Profile of dpe666
**** happens. Smile
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Sammy J.
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I just washed my hands and can't do a thing with them.
Sammy J. Teague

When the Docs give your wife 18 months to live and it has been 12 years, that is a miracle!
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Profile of Sordini
In an effect, the parts where something can go wrong need a specific line, or even better a least a little thought... A lot of the posts above make me cringe as a magician. Would a human cringe more? Are they sure fire laughs?
The Great Smartini
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Well that's the last magic trick I buy from David Blaine/Criss Angel/David Copperfield.
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Profile of InventorRu
Said thoughtfully
" looked so easy in the book"
Lawrence O
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Profile of Lawrence O
Wait! When I'm good I'm good but when I'm bad I'm better
Magic is the art of proving impossible things in parallel dimensions that can't be reached
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