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Topic: Kiwi Joke???
Message: Posted by: BryanKelly (Dec 14, 2006 10:14AM)
I need a joke for Carol Cloutier bill in Kiwi routine. When the spectator removes the kiwi from his/her pocket you need a joke to lighten the mood before you do the switch. I need a joke cleaner than the one Carol uses. Carol pretends to pick hair off of the kiwi and asks "don't you where any underwear?"
Message: Posted by: Destiny (Dec 14, 2006 11:09AM)
I suppose 'Know any Brazillians?' would be the same joke - but more subtle.
Message: Posted by: BryanKelly (Dec 14, 2006 11:44AM)
Lmao...i could use that for a female...thats good :D

but your right, still not clean...
Message: Posted by: thoughtsexplorer (Dec 15, 2006 01:23AM)
Everyone has ever seen such a hairy potato?
Message: Posted by: Sealegs (Dec 22, 2006 10:08PM)
I think this plum needs a shave....

Now this isn't in anyway not totally clean but if you're of the frame of mind that, 'Know any Brazillians?' is not clean I think that maybe speaking directly to the audience might be considered an unseemly affront.

Bewildered, Neal. :confused:
Message: Posted by: Flec (Dec 30, 2006 06:13PM)
When I saw Cloutier do it, he said "I need a knife, anyone here from New York???" not hilllarious, but gave him the cover needed to do the switch. I'd never heard the hair line, I might use that now ;)
Message: Posted by: Tony Iacoviello (Dec 30, 2006 06:56PM)
"Is that a kiwi in your pocket, or are you happy to see me." "Oh, it's a kiwi."
Message: Posted by: coupcoupdaddy (Dec 30, 2006 07:27PM)
Urban foxes especially fond of kiwi. Welcome back, Tony! I'll tell Isso and Solara.

Message: Posted by: Tim Hannig (Jan 16, 2007 12:03AM)
I use the "knife" line mentioned above.

It works great, as everyone looks away for a moment looking for a knife.
The switch is made.

I love saying "don't take your eyes off the kiwi" after it is too late.
Message: Posted by: NJJ (Jan 17, 2007 02:21AM)
Off the top of my head..

"This is what you get when a key goes to the toilet.....a key-wee"
[look closely at kiwi] "sorry-sometime loose change gets stuck to it"
"Your pocket must be warm...i feel's riper!"
"Do you have a knife? No? Because I happen to be a sales rep for the ginsu blade..."
"Last night the guy pulled out two plums and a banana!"
"Do you carry a knife? A machete? A chainsaw?"
"Now that is what I called Fruit Of The Loom!"
"Great! Now I've got your $100 AND my kiwi back!"
"Don't say Kiwi Fruit around Russel Crowe. He'll think your talking about him and throw a phone at you."
"You almost forgot you had that didn't you? Imagine if you got home and your wife found it! 'You've been off galivanting with that Carmen Miranda haven't you? HAVEN"T YOU!??!"

For southern hemisphere people
"It's called a kiwi because it plays cricket just as well as New Zealand."
Message: Posted by: michaelrice (Feb 6, 2007 02:27PM)
Sorry completely off topic but does anyone know the difference between Martin Sanderson's bill in kiwi and Carol Cloutier bill in Kiwi? They sound quite similar. In Cloutier's what is the reason for the spectator holding the kiwi? In Sanderson's, he goes from a chop cup routine to the bill in kiwi.

Message: Posted by: God-glorified (Feb 7, 2007 06:36PM)
Hey Mike, your best bet is to search that on the search engine, both videos. However, I think in all the chaos I heard they are pretty much the same.
Message: Posted by: Flec (Mar 5, 2007 07:22AM)
Michael, Cloutier produces a kiwi from 'thin air' and then hands to the spectator as a gift. then does vanishes the spectators bill and goes into his card routine. and the end of his act he says "you gave me something, I wanted to give it back."

sanderson does use a chop cup to produce the kiwi, and hands it to the spectator before asking for the money. as far as I can see both methods are the same. I think sanderson said on his dvd, he learned the method from another fella using a lemon, but it was cloutier who he saw use the kiwi.

a kiwi is also less juicy if you have prepared it correctly, so you can hand the bill back without it dripping wet.
Message: Posted by: madmaxa (Mar 20, 2007 07:21AM)
Maybe something like:
I have an egg. With a hear. It's a bird's egg. A kiwi bird.
Message: Posted by: wizardofsorts (Mar 21, 2007 04:49PM)
Because I do a card stab earlier (ala Don Allan) with the spectator holding the knife, I say, "Anybody have a knife? Bill Does!" (using the correct name). This gets a laugh because I've already used many jokes with Bill and the knife earlier. Its nice recall.