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Topic: I need to put my mother in a nursing home...recomendations?
Message: Posted by: afillius (Feb 24, 2007 01:45AM)
Well, the difficult time has come and I have to put my mother into a nursing home type facility. It needs to be in Southern California and it needs to take Medical as payment from the state. She actually got placed in a home by aging protective services while I was out of town, but the facility she is in is not good. They have no activities at all, she is sharing a room with 2 other people and most of the residents have extreme dimentia and either yell or cry all the time.

I am doing research to get her moved, but it's so hard finding a place that will treat her right and not feel like a jail (her words).

This is the hardest thing I have ever done, and I thought maybe someone here may have some experience with this and maybe could recommend a facility.

Message: Posted by: robert bianchi (Feb 24, 2007 07:35PM)
Sorry, I am from NJ and can not recommend a facility in CA.

I just wanted to offer my prayers for you. I was in a similiar situation last year, and it is so disheartening, with lots of conflicting emotions involved.

Best of luck to you.

Message: Posted by: Chessmann (Feb 24, 2007 11:20PM)
My mom went into an assisted living facility.

Research, research, research. Find and talk to people who have relatives in various places. Basically, you have to be a private eye.

All the best to you. It can be a tough road, but don't forget that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Message: Posted by: Margarette (Feb 25, 2007 08:49PM)
When my mother and aunt had to find a facility for my grandmother, the main thing they looked at was if they had a "welcome at any time" policy. If the facility only had visitation during certain hours, they kept looking. They dropped in on one facility at several different times to check it out, and they were pleased with what they saw. Also, check to see what type of activities they have for the residents. My grandmother, who never wanted to be put in a nursing home, now considers the place she is in as her home. She's gotten checked out a few times for family functions, but she's always glad to get back "home".

Message: Posted by: robert bianchi (Feb 25, 2007 09:22PM)
Yea Margarette brings up an excellent point. "Welcome any time" says a lot about a place.

I used to do EMS and we were in these places all the time. Those who limited visiting hours tended to treat the residents much differently after hours, than they did when the public was watching.

Allowing visiting any time, really says a lot and that is great advice that Margarette gave!

Message: Posted by: MagiClyde (Feb 28, 2007 11:37PM)
Have you checked to see if your mother's church or denomination (or whatever her religious affiliation)has any nursing facilities?
Message: Posted by: Marshall Thornside (Mar 18, 2007 07:28PM)
Don't put her in a nursing home if she doesn't want to.
you won't be happy and secure about it, if she isn't.