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Topic: You might be a Magician IF
Message: Posted by: drkptrs1975 (Mar 26, 2007 07:43PM)
You are a magician if.

You have convinced yourself that being sawed in half does not hurt.
You are a Man going into the ladies department store for silks.
You travel 300 miles to a cheesy store just to pay 20 dollars for a Quarter.
You can name 7 proffessional Magicians at once.
Your Wife/Mother is terrified to look in you pants pocket.
You believe that it is normal for everybody to win at the sametime in Bingo(Give credit to Mark Wilson)
The UPS man comes to your door, saying a delievery from Penguin.
You have more handcuffs than the Police Department.
You see a magician on TV or in the Movies, and say how he could have done that better.
You have more Decks than the US Navy.
You know what the word Svengali mean, and it's origin.
You want to look for the Masked Magician and beat him up.
You tell your mother that you want to grow up to become a Magician, and she responds, "you must make up your mind, you can either grow up or you can become a magician.)
someone asks to borrow your cell phone and you have them examine it first.
you can make money change from a $1 to a $100 thousands of times but you still need a job...
You have more gadgets on your belt than Batman.
After viewing magic on TV, everyone in the room looks at you asks, "How'd they do that"? And, all you do is smile and say, "It's really easy if you think about it, but magicians can't tell." And you're really thinking "How the heck did they do that"?
You pay to see a lecture, buy a written version of what was just demonstrated to you, and then buy a manufactured version of something in the notes.
You have so much magic stuff in your room that itís considered a fire hazard.
You are the only guy dragged into the women's clothing store and not bored to tears because you plant yourself in front of a mirror and check the angles on your coin moves.
All your friends avoid mentioning they are bored....
You spend more time in front of a mirror than your wife/girlfriend does.
Your idea of a fun date involves a lady and a saw.
You record every magic special on TV.
You can lose you thumb tip and visit the magic shop instead of the emergency room.
You don't expect to see any strippers on a stripper deck.
You try to teach you cat to jump through burning hoops like Sigfreid and Roy's tigers.
You have a dog named Houdini.
You try to copy David Copperfield.
When meeting someone for the first time your say "Now don't tell me you name I see it begins with....A...Etc... You were born on...
Your a doctor; After completing a delivery of a baby you pull the sheet back and say "Ta-duh."
You have to check your change with a magnet and a bang ring before buying a soda.
Your hired to do a magical birthday party for $100 and the week before, you spend
200$ on new magic "getting ready" for the show.
You find $20 in the pockets of an old pair of pants, and you instantly think "NEW TRICKS!"
You have over 50 decks of cards, and you don't even particularly like card tricks.
You hate winter simply because the heating cost cuts into your magic trick money.
You hate summer because the air conditioning cuts into your magic trick money.
At christmas, you ask your spouse for magic tricks when you have an entire room full of them already.
While out on the town with your girlfriend or wife, someone recognizes you and asks to see some magic. You explain you can't because you don't really have anything with you,and you then proceed to do 60 minutes of impromptu magic.
You have at least 10 magic tricks you got in the mail or at a shop that you never even opened or read the instructions in full, yet you keep buying new ones. (THIS IS ME)
You come up with a great trick that costs $1.50 to make, and you start selling it for $49.95.
If some one else looked in your junk drawer, they would think you were 9 yrs old.
The bank tellers start scrounging for silver dollars as soon as they see you walk in the door.
You just volenteered doing magic at a childrens hospital, and you don't even like kids.
You walked on hot coals on purpose to see people do that for real or if its really a trick (ouch!)
your going to vegas instead of disneyland because there are lots of magic shows in vegas.
You no longer leave your house without pockets full of crap JUST IN CASE someone asks you to do a trick,this way you can do 20 tricks....
you drive better blindfolded than you do with glasses on.
you never been to an insane assylum and yet you own a straight jacket.
you cut rope and it is still together.
you believe that you can see an invisible deck.
you have many that want to be your girlfriend, but they are all too young for you.
you can't leave to anywhere without taking Magic Tricks with you.
you think that sponges are red and round.
when someone says dlite, then you try to press your thumb.
Message: Posted by: Tony Webs (Mar 27, 2007 05:06AM)
Thankyou, that really cheered me up. May I oneday quote you?
Message: Posted by: FunTimeAl (Apr 1, 2007 12:50PM)
That's the hardest that I've laughed in a long, long time. Thank you, really.
Message: Posted by: WagsterMagic (Apr 2, 2007 07:06PM)
That is so wrong, but at the same time so incredibly true!!!

Message: Posted by: Adam Milestone (Jun 10, 2007 12:45PM)
A week or so before a date you buy 5 of 6 things at the shop none of which you use on the big night.

You've bought basically the same secret on at least 3 separate occasions.

You have more TT's than fingers or toes!

You buy something and play with it for a few hours, then drop it in the junk drawer only to find it several years later and profess that it's the best magic prop ever invented!

Your use so much thread your nic name should be Spidey!

You have more reels and lines than your average angler owns!

You are still searching for the "perfect" CTW!

Bought something once, sold it, then after a while decide you really shouldn't have gotten rid of it and end up buying it for a second time!
Message: Posted by: Drew (Jun 10, 2007 04:14PM)
Ha! This Topic is sooo funny!
Message: Posted by: Adam Milestone (Jun 10, 2007 10:52PM)
On 2007-06-10 17:14, Drew wrote:
Ha! This Topic is sooo funny!

This thread is so TRUE!
Message: Posted by: Lee Darrow (Jun 12, 2007 07:22PM)
You get pulled over by a cop and he wants to cite you for driving without your glases and you offer to drive blindfolded for him! And do! (and I DID! ... and got out of the ticket!)

You put coins in little, round boxes.. and they STILL fall out!

When you go to the store and the clerk asks you for your cup size, you have to think "athletic, bra or chop?"

Your wedding ring spends more time in your key case than on your ring finger - and your spouse does NOT mind a bit!

You have at least one large crate of "Nerf Balls" in the closet, but you don't have any kids who play with them!

You buy an "adult" movie because there's a magician on the cover and then fast forward through the "adult parts" to see the magic!

You get more manicures per year than your wife does.

You produce your wife's credit card "out of thin air" to pay the bill at the restaurant, the gas station, the hardware store, the Post Office...

You are the ONLY guy on your block who carries a coin purse in his pocket ... sometimes TWO!

Lee Darrow, C.H.
Message: Posted by: Rupert Bair (Jun 13, 2007 05:04PM)
You light bits of paper to check if its flash paper...
Message: Posted by: totalmagic (Jun 20, 2007 08:20AM)
I got to say, those were really funny. Thanks for posting them drkptrs1975
Message: Posted by: CaptRitz (Jul 14, 2007 03:02PM)
Holy Cow!
You're SO RIGHT!!!!!
Message: Posted by: darkdean (Aug 10, 2007 08:31AM)
Glad to see I am not alone:)