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Topic: Shaking hands gags
Message: Posted by: 0pus (Apr 24, 2007 08:49AM)
For doing walk around at an outdoor event, I think I want to have a lot of gag greetings in my arsenal. Here is what I have come up with; many, maybe all, are standard gags. Have I missed any? What do you use?

Shake hands and keep shaking as though the other person wants to do so. Finally disengage.

Shake hands and act as if the other person is crushing your hand.

Shake the other person's hand literally. Grab it by the wrist and shake it.

Shake hands under your left leg.

Put your knee in the other person's extended hand (Harpo Marx).

See the other person from a distance and approach with your hand outstretched. Completely miss the other person's hand and walk past.

Act as if the other person is lifting you up and down by shaking hands (jump).

Shake hands and try to walk away, but your hand is stuck.

Shake hands but bend your middle finger so that it touches the other person's palm. Act offended when they pull their hand away.

Touch fists (a la Howie Mandel) and pretend that the other person has broken yours.

Shake hands normally. As you walk away, look at your right hand. Come back to the other person and have him extend his hand. Pretend to take a ring (palmed in your left hand) from his hand and put it on a finger in your right hand (as if the other person had stolen it from you when shaking hands). Walk away muttering. Look back at the other person once or twice.

Shake hands and stand to the other person's right, holding his elbow. When you finish shaking, use your left hand to pop the other person's right hand up again. Act as if the other person wants to shake some more. Shake his hand, finish and pop it up again. Finally, use your right hand to try to get the other person's hand to stay down.

Take the other person's hand and pull them toward you. Execute an underarm turn and act as if you are jitterbug dancing with them.

Attempt to kiss a lady's hand, but kiss your own. Make a disgusted face.

Kiss a lady's hand. As you come away, spit out a lady's ring (as if you took it off her hand while kissing it). Examine ring with a jeweler's loupe.

Try to shake hands, but act as if the other person's hand is hard to catch. Finally catch it by using both hands.

Shake hands, but as you touch, use a bulb horn to make a loud noise.

Point at your right hand to show which hand a child should shake. As he reaches forward place your left index finger into his hand.
Message: Posted by: Southwest Sam (Apr 24, 2007 11:03PM)
I woke up this morning and had 11 fingers. No Seriously, I had 11 fingers, here I'll show ya.

Hold up both hands and count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

That's funny, I know I had 11 fingers this morning. Let's try counting 'em backwards.

Hold up both hands and count 10. 9. 8. 7. 6

immediately look at the other hand and count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

and say,,,, 6 + 5 = 11

Kids LOVE this gag

~SAM :stuckinbag:
Message: Posted by: mrunge (Apr 27, 2007 06:49PM)
Wow...what a list! Thanks for remembering all of these.

Mark.
Message: Posted by: dave_matkin (Apr 28, 2007 05:12AM)
Yes what a list! Thnaks!

What about having a false finger that comes off in their hand? Or is that not clown like enough?

I have a great GIANT THUMB. My mind it thinking about the gag with the finger ..... Instead of getting them to shake your finger you could swap it for thumb (I guess you could still do it with a finger) and then pretend like they have hut you. Quickly slip the GIANT THUMB on and show it is throbbing.
Message: Posted by: 0pus (Apr 29, 2007 12:01AM)
Challenge a child to thumb wrestle. Whip out the giant thumb.

Get your thumb caught in a closing door (box lid, closing book, etc.). Whip out the giant thumb.
Message: Posted by: dave_matkin (Apr 29, 2007 03:44AM)
Like the thumb wrestle idea!

The trapped thumb thing works well. I tend to keep it in my case and let the lid slam (its a sort case) then slide my thumb in to it in the case - that way it coes out big.

Is the false hand being pulled off to gross for clowning? I think it is what does anyone else think?
Message: Posted by: 0pus (Apr 29, 2007 08:22PM)
Consider just pulling off a finger. See the Charlie Frye Eccentricks DVDs. He combines Meir Yedid's Finger Fantasies with a false finger.
Message: Posted by: harris (May 17, 2007 11:20AM)
Touch toes of shoes

Pinky Shake

Milk Shake

Elbow Shake

Shake Shake Shake

Shake your ______

Harris
Message: Posted by: zappyjingles (Jun 23, 2007 01:00AM)
G'day,

Wow they are all fantastic ideas. I will place them into my gags folder.

Hugs N Giggles
Message: Posted by: ssucahyo (Aug 10, 2007 12:26PM)
So....lets shake....
;o)

CC
Message: Posted by: btedeski (Aug 10, 2007 02:21PM)
Two that I use

Shake Hands, continue to shake hands and ask are you nervous?
When they so no, ask then why are you shaking so much?

As you walk toward someone, hold out your hand as if to shake,
Just as you reach them, shift your hand so that your hands just miss and keep on walking


Both good for a laugh
Message: Posted by: One Man (Aug 10, 2007 06:23PM)
As you go to shake someone's hand quickly tuck in your thumb. Most times the person misses your hand and ends up grabbing your wrist. I think I learned that from Jay Marshall's Table Crap video.

Another bit was to show your hands as being backwards. Just start with one hand palm up and one palm down and quickly roate them front to back, just a goofy visual.

Kevin
Message: Posted by: colin underwood (Aug 12, 2007 02:35AM)
I have used all your listed hallos and work great, here a few more.....

1.shake and pretend in extreme pain from the kid crushing hand, falling on floor with legs up but still holding onto spectator.
2. with kid shake his hand and push him under your legs so you all twisted up, lift your leg over kid and all will be rectified. ( I am 6ft 3 so its funny especially if played with big clown shoes)
3.I have used a false hand held in place in sleeve, as he goes for hand drop it out with a yell.
4.Freeze into a statue as you shake hands, sometimes kid will move arm into another position to wake you up...stay in this new position.eventually fall over or if adult fall slowly onto him,you have to judge he has you and then as he lets go you fall onto him ,he will grab you to stop you falling over continue untill he eventually will walk away leaving you to fall flat on your face.
5. If you holding an object and they are too make sure you offer free hand to shake as they switch parcels to free there hand you switch your object so you are once again offering the opposite hand to them. offer your foot to shake.
6. grab both their hands and dance
7.with adult, shake hand and as you walk off look at your hand and inspect with disgust on face as if there is something left on your hand, clean your hand off on another spectator.
8. The stretch, I came up with for stilts but works in a place where you cant reach the spectator too easy ,like a parade and there is a barrier in the way.
you pretend to not be able to reach, pull back hand towards yourself and ""unscrew your arm"" extend the arm back out to spectator and it now reaches!! arm is now brought back in a kinda mechanical fassion and retightened.
9. for the smart guy /teenager the old lift hand and stroke your hair as you about to shake hands works a charm.
5.there are loads of verbal gags I use ...too many to mention here but they highlight the spectators clothes or looks eg a spotted dress ..have you got measles?? ( the illness where you break out in spots) shake hands and start counting the spots. etc
10.if you are wearing gloves shake as in number one above and inspect your hurt hand and notice your thumb is missing, ask kid for it back look on both sides of glove ,in hat in pants ,all around and finally pull glove off with thumb hidden in palm, notice thumb behind palm and give a big sigh of relief.
11. long glove with with rubber hand in end, great for show context especially if kid hold onto rubber hand and your arm strecthers longer and longer.
12. dirt on your hand change hands just as you are about to shake hands, repeat

Watch out for my walkabout book incorporating all the gags I have used over last 30 years!!
Message: Posted by: 0pus (Apr 12, 2018 07:21PM)
A bump from 11 years ago. :)
Message: Posted by: Terrible Wizard (Apr 13, 2018 02:50AM)
:). And still good!
Message: Posted by: thomhaha (Apr 13, 2018 12:53PM)
Glad this was bumped!