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Topic: Oh No!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Saddest Story EVER???
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Oct 31, 2007 07:09PM)
[url=http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,306076,00.html]fox[/url]


Light a candle.
Message: Posted by: Bill Nuvo (Nov 1, 2007 01:10AM)
Nevermind the candle, light the BBQ. It'll cook faster
Message: Posted by: Freak Prodigy (Nov 1, 2007 01:26AM)
Ummmm, yeah the candle is lit and everything, but that isn't the saddest story in the world.

You seem once there was this mouse that was pregnate, and it fell into a bottle...Doug tells the story better than me.

Maybe because that mouse is sitting on HIS desk, and not MINE.



Brett.
Message: Posted by: abc (Nov 1, 2007 09:02AM)
Did they eat it or research it?
Message: Posted by: Rupert Bair (Nov 1, 2007 09:05AM)
That's not very sad. I've got a sadder story involving...
Message: Posted by: Fauna Gob (Nov 1, 2007 09:08AM)
A Fish?
Message: Posted by: Rupert Bair (Nov 1, 2007 09:11AM)
No. Three fish and a sad one, all carp. (sp)
Message: Posted by: Fauna Gob (Nov 1, 2007 09:22AM)
Oh that's it:

The Parable of the Sad Fish, by Matt Colman

Twice apon a time, a young lady gave birth to four fish, Clyde, Edward and Julliet were happy soles, but Archibald (Ibald for short) soon developed a sad twinge, his mother could tell he was unhappy, while his brothers and sisters swam around the pond merrily, he sat on the riverbank, and although he tried to flap around and look happy, his mother could see something wasnt right.

She picked him up, took him inside and let him rest on her bossom, he soon gave up pretending to look happy, eventually his sadness got so much, his heart broke and he passed away, with some white suace and a slice of lemon.

The Moral of the story? If your gonna give birth to fish, keep it under 4 at a time, else one will be sad.

Amen.

Fauna
Message: Posted by: Rupert Bair (Nov 1, 2007 09:24AM)
That was VERY funny. Can we be friends. I can tell that we are gonna be friends.
Message: Posted by: Fauna Gob (Nov 1, 2007 09:25AM)
I don't think that would be appropriate, now would it.

Fauna
Message: Posted by: Rupert Bair (Nov 1, 2007 09:27AM)
Yeh your right. With a name like Fauna my mother wouldn't be impressed.
Message: Posted by: Fauna Gob (Nov 1, 2007 09:34AM)
Matthew Fernando Colman, stop kidding yourself.

I AM your mother!
Message: Posted by: Rupert Bair (Nov 1, 2007 09:35AM)
That's not true!!! My middle name is Sexy.
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Nov 1, 2007 02:54PM)
Over FOUR CENTURIES, flapping about the sea floor...singing LaLa...same thing every day...then finally a change of scenery and....


sad...very sad. All your made up crap can not compete.
Message: Posted by: ricker (Nov 1, 2007 02:58PM)
It's a clam......I don't think they sing. LOL

From Wiki

A clam's shell or two valves are connected by a hinge joint and a ligament that can be external or internal. Two adductor muscles close the shells. The clam has no head, and usually has no eyes (scallops are a notable exception), but a clam does have kidneys, a heart, a mouth, and an anus.

Clams can be eaten raw, steamed, boiled, baked or fried; the method of preparation depends partly on size and species

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clam
Message: Posted by: landmark (Nov 1, 2007 03:08PM)
Ahhh, clam up everyone.
Message: Posted by: stoneunhinged (Nov 1, 2007 04:04PM)
I'm with Doug: this story is sad. A living thing--not a plant, but a locomotive being (although: how far can a clam move during 24 hours?)--over four hundred years old, killed by "scientists".

Which brings two things to mind:

1) The arrogance of scientists. I've got a Ph.D. in Biodiversethnology, so I can cut things up at will, because I'm doing it for "knowledge". I'm still an ***, but I have a Ph.D., so it's cool and all.

2) Josh.

These are serious ethical issues. Perhaps we should discuss them in the "Right or Wrong" forum, where our posts count.

Jeff
Message: Posted by: stoneunhinged (Nov 1, 2007 04:10PM)
By the way, my last post was one in which I spoke hypothetically. I do not have a Ph.D. in Biodiversethnology. So please don't post things like, "Well, I'm the world authority in Biodiversethnology, and I've never heard of Jeff or Josh" with the expectation that I will say, "Oh, you OWNED me! SORRY!", because it ain't gonna happen.
Message: Posted by: Rupert Bair (Nov 1, 2007 04:11PM)
The British don't care, now if it was a dinosaur they found I'm 90% sure wouldn't of killed it. If it had a base maybe 50%.
Message: Posted by: Josh Riel (Nov 1, 2007 04:23PM)
They never said how it tasted.

"Its death is an unfortunate aspect of this work, but we hope to derive lots of information from it"

I'm assuming he is referring to the great scientific dilemma of how to cook a clam that is centuries old. It's solved!

They realized that it needed to be dipped in butter.
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Nov 1, 2007 05:13PM)
Ricker: "I don't think they sing." " but a clam does have kidneys, a heart, a mouth, and an anus."

Wow...a mouth to sing with and an anus for the background 'music'...sadder than I thought! It's the saddest thing ever of all the evers ever!

la la la la la la...arggfmphnorf!
Message: Posted by: Rupert Bair (Nov 1, 2007 05:46PM)
If they didn't kill it they wouldn't of know how old it is...damn clam should of learnt to speak English. It was probably shouting I'm 407 in Icelandish, but British being British ignore gobbledygook unless its English gobbledygook.
Message: Posted by: Rupert Bair (Nov 1, 2007 06:28PM)
The worlds my clam.
Message: Posted by: Fauna Gob (Nov 1, 2007 07:25PM)
Claaaaaaaaaam
Message: Posted by: Doug Higley (Nov 1, 2007 07:33PM)
Hastings is bored again.
Message: Posted by: Rupert Bair (Nov 1, 2007 07:57PM)
Fauna get out of this thread with your clammy hands.

rofl. psml.
Message: Posted by: Jonathan Townsend (Nov 1, 2007 09:27PM)
And down there where they found it, under a few inches of mud it's neighbors are probably saying:

"told you junior was taking risks up there... "
Message: Posted by: The Drake (Nov 2, 2007 11:08AM)
After writing that heartfelt story the author had clams for lunch.

Best,

Tim
Message: Posted by: Josh Riel (Nov 2, 2007 12:03PM)
I hate clams, with their superior self important attitude. It's like: Dude! your meat in a bowl of bone china, you're not that great. They don't listen.
Message: Posted by: Bill Nuvo (Nov 2, 2007 12:13PM)
They don't have ears Josh.
Message: Posted by: Josh Riel (Nov 2, 2007 02:21PM)
Well, isn't that just the perfect cover!
Message: Posted by: The Drake (Nov 2, 2007 05:24PM)
[quote]
On 2007-11-02 13:13, mrbilldentertainer wrote:
They don't have ears Josh.
[/quote]

So they have tongues but won't listen? Sounds like some Café members. LOL

Best,

Tim
Message: Posted by: Josh Riel (Nov 2, 2007 06:22PM)
Finger, you mean fingers.

We can't be sure who has tongues, although it might be a good question to ask.