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Topic: Family not into the whole magic thing
Message: Posted by: black-dragon (Dec 3, 2007 04:22PM)
How do you deal with your family not liking the thought of you becoming a magician? I love magic but I don't think my family wants me to become a magician or have anything to do with magic. They say things like "that was great." but they don't help me along.
Message: Posted by: Jaz (Dec 3, 2007 04:59PM)
Maybe they just see your fascination with magic as a passing fancy.

I began magic when go I was in my 30s and didn't have your problems.
I never got a lot of encouragement but I mystified them and they enjoyed what I did.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Dec 3, 2007 05:23PM)
What matters is whether you like magic or not. They are not the ones doing the magic.
Message: Posted by: gaddy (Dec 3, 2007 05:25PM)
They are possibly concerned with you entertaining a passing fancy with magic to the exclusion of other pursuits- like a youngster who, when asked: "what do you want to be when you grow up?" who answers "I'm going to be a POET!"

That doesn't strike most people as a viable occupation...

Just do your magic, and do lots of other things too- sports, theatre, math and science, girls... Do everything.

The more learn about anything/everything, the better a magician you will eventually become, because magic is about more than card tricks, it's about the ***human experience*** in general, and the experience of the wondrous, specifically!

Perhaps you'll become the next Chris Angle, perhaps you'll "merely" be an amazingly talented amateur... Just don't let magic run your life, and don't let other people's approval or disapproval do so either!
Message: Posted by: Payne (Dec 3, 2007 05:36PM)
Hey, my family was pretty much unsupportive of anything I did. Just ignore them and do what you want to do. Unless of course you're still living at home. Then you'll have to abide by their wishes and practice in private. But at least it gives you motivation to move out!
Message: Posted by: Andy the cardician (Dec 3, 2007 05:55PM)
How old are you my friend? No offense . . . as it will be an important factor for giving you a balanced answer.
Message: Posted by: disneywld (Dec 3, 2007 06:27PM)
I never told my parents. Now, they don't miss any of my shows. Probably because I never said to them, "Hey, check this one out!"
Message: Posted by: pradell (Dec 3, 2007 06:33PM)
It is somewhat unclear what you mean when you say, "How do you deal with your family not liking the thought of you becoming a magician?" This may mean that they do not like magic, magicians, or performances in general, do not like what they see that you specifically are doing, or perhaps are concerned that you want to forego your other options to become a "professional" magician relying exclusively on magic to put money in your pocket and food on the table. Each of these choices would generate a different response. Perhaps if you concentrated on practicing rather than their initial indifference, and then really knocked their socks off when you ultimately perform for them, they will appreciate your skills as an artist and change their attitude towards your creative pursuits.

:magicrabbit:
Message: Posted by: black-dragon (Dec 4, 2007 02:32PM)
[quote]
On 2007-12-03 18:25, gaddy wrote:
They are possibly concerned with you entertaining a passing fancy with magic to the exclusion of other pursuits- like a youngster who, when asked: "what do you want to be when you grow up?" who answers "I'm going to be a POET!"

That doesn't strike most people as a viable occupation...

Just do your magic, and do lots of other things too- sports, theatre, math and science, girls... Do everything.[/quote]
lol. I am a girl.

[quote]The more learn about anything/everything, the better a magician you will eventually become, because magic is about more than card tricks, it's about the ***human experience*** in general, and the experience of the wondrous, specifically!

Perhaps you'll become the next Chris Angle, perhaps you'll "merely" be an amazingly talented amateur... Just don't let magic run your life, and don't let other people's approval or disapproval do so either!
[/quote]

Thanks! That’s the best advise any ones given me here
!
Message: Posted by: black-dragon (Dec 4, 2007 02:48PM)
[quote]
On 2007-12-03 18:36, Payne wrote:
Hey, my family was pretty much unsupportive of anything I did. Just ignore them and do what you want to do. Unless of course you're still living at home. Then you'll have to abide by their wishes and practice in private. But at least it gives you motivation to move out!
[/quote]
I practice at the dead of night. I don't show them most of my tricks but if I really have a good one then I will show my sister who likes magic. they don't under stand why I love magic.
Message: Posted by: mrunge (Dec 4, 2007 04:51PM)
And how old are you? As mentioned before, it might help understand where your family might be coming from.

Also, do what you like. If you like magic, learn magic. If you like a foreign language, learn it. It's your life and you'll have to live with the consequences of your decisions. Your parents are probably just trying to keep a bigger picture in mind.

Mark.
Message: Posted by: black-dragon (Dec 4, 2007 05:01PM)
I really don't like to give my age out on wesites but I'm in my early teens.
Message: Posted by: mrunge (Dec 4, 2007 05:14PM)
That would explain why your parents aren't chomping at the bit for you to become a magician.

The best suggestion? Take magic up as a hobby and see how you progress and if stay interested in it. As you grow older, you can then do other things with it. Shows, birthday parties, restaurants, etc...

Learn as much as you can. Practice, practice and practice. Perform as much as possible. You'd be surprised at the number of opportunities that are around you each day. You can perform an effect at school, church, standing in line at the movies, at the mall, while shopping, for the teller at the fast food restaurant who just took your order, etc...

In time, you'll be able to decide what you can/will do with magic. It's all about the journey anyway, not the destination.

Good luck. Mark.
Message: Posted by: Andy the cardician (Dec 4, 2007 05:19PM)
In that case the reaction of your family is understandable. I guess, they want you to have a solid education first. Something that I fully support. Go through the Café, as there have been some threads on this topic. There is also a topic called look before you leap.

Trying to make a living out of magic is not easy. It is even more difficult than trying to make a living out of music or acting. Again, I refer you to the search engine in the Café.

My advice is - show to your family that magic is a hobby for you, but make it clear that it is only a hobby/passion and nothing that you consider as a future occupation. This will take (if existing) fear from your family and gives you more support.

You got a lot of time on your hands. Time will tell you, if this is really your calling or not. In the meantime, enjoy and learn.

Remember, you do not need to be a pro to be a great and famous magician. Some of the best amongst us have normal day jobs - for example Bannon, Krenzel and many, many more. The famous magic inventor Matsuda is a salary man, who is inventing his great stuff in his free time, supported by his wife, the famous Dr. Sawai is a dentist . . . the list goes on and on . . .


Andy
Message: Posted by: gaddy (Dec 4, 2007 07:23PM)
[quote]
On 2007-12-04 18:19, Andy the cardician wrote:

Trying to make a living out of magic is not easy. It is even more difficult than trying to make a living out of music or acting. Again, I refer you to the search engine in the Café.
Andy
[/quote]

I dispute this claim, but not the sentiment-- Andy is looking out for YOU!. IMHO It's easier to be a self employed magician than a self employed actor...
Message: Posted by: Ethereal (Dec 4, 2007 09:00PM)
I don't understand. Do your parents not support you because they think it's a fad or is it because they think its evil or something?
Message: Posted by: Andy the cardician (Dec 4, 2007 09:27PM)
[quote]
On 2007-12-04 20:23, gaddy wrote:
[quote]
On 2007-12-04 18:19, Andy the cardician wrote:

Trying to make a living out of magic is not easy. It is even more difficult than trying to make a living out of music or acting. Again, I refer you to the search engine in the Café.
Andy
[/quote]

I dispute this claim, but not the sentiment-- Andy is looking out for YOU!. IMHO It's easier to be a self employed magician than a self employed actor...
[/quote]

Thanks for the valid point. My bold statement will not always hold, as it depends where you are living and how much opportunity there is out there for you.

I was using the analogy to show that the road is rather rocky. Same as in the music and acting biz, we should not let the success of a few superstars blind and deceive us. If you watch the cool clips at the E website - wow, what a life . . . take a deck of cards and earn fame, fortune and mating partner(s). Here is the news - reality is a little bit different.
Message: Posted by: Jerrine (Dec 5, 2007 12:03AM)
Families and family members are overrated.
Orphans get to say that.

"Open your eyes
Realize your not dead
Take a look at an open book
Do what you like, that's what I said
Do what you like." Ginger Baker
Message: Posted by: black-dragon (Dec 5, 2007 08:43AM)
[quote]
On 2007-12-04 22:00, Ethereal wrote:
I don't understand. Do your parents not support you because they think it's a fad or is it because they think its evil or something?
[/quote]
nope thay thinks it's just a fad.
Message: Posted by: Douglas Lippert (Dec 5, 2007 10:04AM)
It very well could be. But, hopefully you stick to it.
Message: Posted by: acetucker (Dec 5, 2007 01:50PM)
Well, I'm new to magic, probably going on one month now. I'm not really sure what to suggest...

When I was little, I became interested in magic, but wasn't learning any new material, and so wasn't amazing anybody. Now, though, since I've learned a few tricks that are very simple, yet stun people the first time they see them.

Here's what I suggest. find a few tricks like that, and to get your parents more interested, show them what magic can do...
Message: Posted by: Ethereal (Dec 5, 2007 03:46PM)
[quote]
On 2007-12-05 09:43, black-dragon wrote:
[quote]
On 2007-12-04 22:00, Ethereal wrote:
I don't understand. Do your parents not support you because they think it's a fad or is it because they think its evil or something?
[/quote]
nope thay thinks it's just a fad.
[/quote]

Well, all I can say is stick to it. Hopefully if you get good enough, you can amaze them enough for them to like it. :P

Oh, also, do you buy tricks online? That might be a problem if they're unwilling to use their credit card...
Message: Posted by: Ray_Mago (Dec 5, 2007 04:17PM)
My family does like seeing magic tricks, only to debunk them and try to ruin the trick... except for my father, he is very supportive and LOVES my magic tricks (or acts like it, lol who knows), and he also doesn't mind if I start performing for a summer job.

as for your family, I like to look at it this way. when performing for them look at it as a way to PRACTICE A LOT, because the only thing your siblings want you to do is crash and burn... and you have to prove them wrong.
Message: Posted by: rikbrooks (Dec 5, 2007 05:53PM)
Ahhh, for me magic is just a passing fad. Any year now it'll pass, I just know it will.
Message: Posted by: acetucker (Dec 5, 2007 06:13PM)
How long have you been at it?
Message: Posted by: Steven Steele (Dec 5, 2007 07:28PM)
When I was in high school, my mother liked my magic, but my dad thought it was a waste of time. He thought I should do something productive with my life. I'm now doing magic full time and at 54 (my father is 79) I still have to listen to him tell me how it's impossible to make a living doing magic and it's such a waste of time. He will die not accepting it and it does bother me...but only because he can't get past it. In any event...life goes on. I'm doing magic and I've never been happier (or healthier).
Message: Posted by: rikbrooks (Dec 6, 2007 05:18PM)
[quote]
On 2007-12-05 19:13, acetucker wrote:
How long have you been at it?
[/quote]

Me? about 45 years, off and on. It's still a passing phase though. I'm absolutely sure I'll get tired of it some day.
Message: Posted by: rikbrooks (Dec 7, 2007 06:40AM)
When I was a kid my family loved watching me do magic. I used to put on shows in the living room and the whole family would stop and watch. At extended family events I always did a show.

But my grandfather was a pro. I suspect it wasn't the magic that they loved so much as my joy of performing. My grandfather had it and so do I. They liked that.

Now most of them groan when I reach in my pockets. That's probably because they have a hard time 'catching' me any more. It happens but that's because they purposely refuse to be misdirected. They openly stare at wherever they think I'm dirty.

So I don't do simple sleights for them. At the last Thanksgiving celebration I took my brother's cell phone, waved my hands and POOF! It was topitted. Then I reached into my pocket and pulled it out. He stared at me, took his phone, then snapped my pocket shut (It's a duster and has two snaps). While he was doing that I topitted it again. He stared at me and I unsnapped the pocket and pulled it out.

He was stunned - but then again, he's never heard of a topit.
Message: Posted by: sethb (Dec 7, 2007 07:15AM)
I'm sure it's tough to pursue something that doesn't meet with your parents' approval. On the other hand, everyone may well be jumping the gun here. You are a bit young to decide on a permanent career path at this point, and I think they are being a little premature in getting concerned about it (in my humble opinion as a parent of a 25-year old myself).

It may also be that they feel that magic is not a suitable interest or career for a woman. If so, that is not supported by the facts -- Adelaide Hermann, the wife of Hermann the Great, had a long and successful stage career as a gifted coin magician in the early 1900's; Francis Marshall was a very successful children's entertainer and part owner of Magic, Inc., a legendary magic shop; magicians Dell O'Dell and Suzy Wandas both had long-running nightclub acts; and today there are Melinda, Tina Lenert and several other very successful female conjurers and illusionists.

In any event, at your age it is perfectly natural to explore lots of different things and to have many different interests. Magic is a very wholesome hobby that can teach you valuable skills in dexterity, hand-eye coordination, stage presence, psychology, and even things like electricity and physics. In fact, there is so much to learn that no one can ever learn it all, much less perform it all.

I have been doing magic since I was about 12; I'm now 57 and still having a very good time with it. You do not have to be a full-time professional magician to perform magic, and there are plenty of talented amateurs and semi-pros out there. So I suggest that you continue to pursue your interests, including magic, and simply see where they take you. In the meantime, be sure to pursue your schooling, because a good education will help you with whatever you eventually do, including magic. It would be hard to argue with that arrangement. Good Luck! SETH
Message: Posted by: Aus (Dec 7, 2007 06:03PM)
Black-Dragon

I think the answer lays in your situation, if they think it’s a fad then show them that’s it not. Stick with it, and maybe they just might come around.

Even from a magicians perspective I have seen many new comers have a fleeting interest in magic simply by an experience of wonderment at a performance, which seem to go as quick as it came.

I think the longevity of the pursuit of magic in little to do with the secrets or knowing how something is done but the enjoyment it brings to others and yourself. So I guess knowing if your doing for the right reasons is more important, and once you have that worked out then you can start thinking of working on others.

If you’re doing magic for the right reasons then most often then not things will automatically fall into place. They will see this and take your interest as genuine. Maybe their a little ignorant to the possibility’s, take them to a live show, make them watch a magician on TV. You would be amazed how perspectives change from these simple things.

In your first post you said you wonted to be a magician, in what sense? Being a magician working for a living or a magician as a past time or eventually one becoming the other.

In the magic pro means two things, being a paid pro (working professional) or professional in terms of being proficient in what you do. One distinguishes the other with the exchange of money well the other on merit. Magicians can obversily be both but it’s a no-brainer which holds more merit. I only say this as this may also help find out if this is really a fad, are you prepared to put in the work?

If so, then welcome to world of conjuring.

Magically

Aus
Message: Posted by: phillys (Dec 30, 2007 05:44AM)
Please allow me to add my 2 cents to the table consider I'm only 19 and I'm relatively young compared to most of you.

Although my family never really said 'no' to my magic but I know they weren't please with all the money that I've been spending on magic. If you look at it objectively, it's their money anyway, since your pocket money does come from your parents who work their butt off.

Anyway, after they see and realise that how much magic can change and transform lives of others, they began to appreciate all the magic and stuff that I do for church, hospitals and old folk's home. Although I've been encouraged my many of my friends and those much more senior than me to put in more effort into magic so that I can one day turn professional, but my family and I realise that being a professional magician isn't going to put food on the table or pay the *** bills.

I know many of you are working as a full-time magician and have a successful career but here in Malaysia, the market for entertainers ain't very big and many of them are taken over or monopolised by the super-awesome old dudes who are really nice and they are so fantastic.

Maybe if your parents know where your stand is in magic and understand what you can give or get out of it, I'm sure they will come to understand :)
Message: Posted by: JardiniMagic (Jan 1, 2008 04:54PM)
Some Familys are not into magic for various reasons also it might scare them! and again may think it is a passing thing! Just pratice and have fun with it of course again if and when you start to bring home money from shows I think they might start to think different. and if it is just a hobby just enjoy it! not everyone turns pro.