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Topic: A Different Sort of Humor Exercise - What Would You Do?
Message: Posted by: magic4u02 (May 27, 2008 06:52PM)
In trying to create something a bit different here that can hopefully be magic related and also peek interest and get people learning, I came up with something last night I thought might be interesting.

The rules are quiote simple really:
1) a person would post a question that is based on the notion of "what would you do?"
2) The question MUST be magic related so as to stay on topic and help more people.
3) once the person states the situation of what would you do, the next person must try and answre it seriously but in a way that shows good usage of comedy or comedy magic.
4) Then that person posts another "what would you do" question for the next person to answer

The idea here would then be to be serious about what you post, make sure it remains on topic by posting ONLY magic things and situations that have happened to you or could happen. Then we can post creative ideas and solutions to the problem.

I think this has the potential for being a bit more on the creative side and can learn from each others answers and solutions to the problems and situations posted.

Keep in mind it should remian magic related and your answer should really try to be a creative solution to the problem through the usage of good comedy or comedy magic.

Let me start:

You are on the stage and you have a helper come up to help you out. It is a family style show and when asked for the person's name, they begin to tell you their entire full name. (ex. Kyle Steven Peron).

So I ask what would you or could you do in a situation like this that could be comcical or magical or a bit of both. Be creative here with this, be realistic and stay with a magic related answer.

Hope this gets folks more engaged in an exercise that is a bit more focused towards comedy magic.

Message: Posted by: Larry Bean (May 27, 2008 10:37PM)
You might laughingly say that all you needed was the first name - they should be a little more careful with their full name given the weaknesses of the government's witness protection program :)

You ask for a !@#istant from the audience and you need them to differentiate colors for your routine. They announce they are colorblind. You now realize you should have made that point clear when you ask for the !@#istant - but you didn't and you don't want to ask them to just have a seat. What would you do?
Message: Posted by: jocdoc (May 28, 2008 01:04AM)
You could announce that people with weaknesses of one sense often compensate by being stronger in another. Therefore, your ask your volunteer to help 'translate' your words for those who may be hard of hearing by shouting out whatever you say (ala Garrett Morris in Saturday Night Live "Our top story tonight....) and then go on to choose another volunteer.

OK, here's a common scenario in close-up, the case of the forgotten card. Time for the big reveal/revelation to close a trick, you ask your spectator to name their selected card and they can't remember...
Message: Posted by: magic4u02 (May 28, 2008 06:32AM)
This is an easy one. I always have them sign the card with a marker and/or show the card to the entire audience or another audience member. You can then use a lot of funny bits of business for this or for your reason for doing so. Mac King uses a funny line for this that goes, "Just sign the face......of the card.... you could sign your own face but you would look silly with a marker mustache." I use a line of "Show the card to all your friends......what I am not your frend?".

You are doing a show (family-style) and go to ask for a helper. As you get the helper on stage, you realize their younger brother has also come up to !@#ist as well. What do you do?
Message: Posted by: harris (May 28, 2008 07:26AM)
"Oh I see you brought your protege"...(that's french for little brother)

The nose on your spring skunk flies off. (yes this did happen during a puppet workshop)

Vat would you do?

(Thanks for the new game)
Message: Posted by: Larry Bean (May 28, 2008 09:13AM)
"This skunk used to smell really bad. Now he can't smell at all!"

In a party setting you choose a helper for your french arm chopper. Into the hole you guide her hand when you realize that you chose a black girl and the gag rubber hand you throw out after the "chop" is white/Caucasian. What would you do?

(This is how dumb I was 20 years ago - I did this very thing)
Message: Posted by: harris (May 28, 2008 09:27AM)
1. Guess it was the Continuity Man's Day off
2. Got to hand it too her
3. Hide one of your hands..(if you are of that persuasion) somethings has gone wrong
4. Guess I did give at the office
5. If your caucasian and you know it clap this hand

The top blade of the big chopper is still visible along with the one at the bottom.
(yep back in the 70's)

What would you do?
Message: Posted by: magic4u02 (May 28, 2008 09:36AM)
Good one. lol What I would do is chop the hand and pick up the fake white rubber hand and scream really loud. "AGHHHH AGHHHHH" as I wave it around. Then look at her and the hand and then the audience and go, "Ok It's not your hand so that is a good thing. PHEW!!!!!!!! It is only leftovers from the last show. Actually folks (puase) it's just a STAGE hand." Then toss it. Would get a laugh and save you at the same time.

You are doing a mind reading effect and get a man and woman up to !@#ist you with it. You ask their names and ask them if they know each other. They say yes and that they are married. Keep in mind you had no idea about this as you picked them randonly from the audience. What would you do or what COULD you do with this?
Message: Posted by: magicgeorge (May 29, 2008 07:58AM)
Who knows really.....
Talk to them ask them questions and create comedy situations/make funny remarks from therein.
Presumably since you had no idea they where married they weren't sitting together. So they must've been married for some time... "You're not in the middle of a row are you? This could be the longest 10 minutes of my life. Unlike the longest 10 minutes of your life madame which was on your wedding night. Only joking! I meant 3 minutes." (Nah, I wouldn't use that!).

"They probably all ready now what each other are thinking". (Then ask them one of them will say something funny that you can play along with). Do you have kids? (more jokes and material). The comedy will be there you just have to ask for it rather than think it up. Wee buns.

Child shouts out "you're gay!". Ha ha. (I saw this happen to another magician and he said " I'll have to tell my wife" and acted flustered. Didn't really work. Happened to me once and I came up with a couple of corkers....didn't really work)


Message: Posted by: Justin Style (May 29, 2008 10:36AM)
I would laugh and say What, me gay?! Why, [i]I'm[/i] not gay but the guy I'm !@#$%^& in the A** is!

You call on a person to come up and help with a trick. "Excuse me sir would you like to help with this next one? First a cold glaring stare followed by a sharp "I'M a WOMAN!" (could also work the other way, "miss"... Now what would you do?
Message: Posted by: Magic Enhancer (May 29, 2008 12:40PM)
Since I work comedy clubs / adult shows, I'd say "Holy sh*t ma'am, it's time to shave. You're starting to look like one of those transtesticles"

After picking on the woman a little bit you ask her(him) to join you on stage. You are getting ready to do your card trick finale which involves a stacked/memorized deck. While walking up the stairs, you (the magician) trips and your stacked cards go flying everywhere.....
Message: Posted by: harris (May 29, 2008 02:02PM)
Would anyone else like to shuffle the deck.

You make a comment about a person's braces (thinking suspenders) when there is a drop in the energy in the room and you realize the person has braces on his legs.

What would you do?
Message: Posted by: jocdoc (May 31, 2008 03:04AM)
"While I'm bracing myself for the backlash, let's wonder aloud what kind of guy decided to call suspenders 'braces'in the first place. After all, they don't exactly look as though they belong wrapped around somebody's teeth..."

Egg bag routine. Your fake egg breaks when a child handles it. Let's hear some lines to get out of it. For example "this trick wasn't what it was all cracked up to be!"
Message: Posted by: NJJ (May 31, 2008 05:32AM)
Don't worry - it's not a real egg...and I'm not real good!
Lucky I didn't get you to hold the chicken!

The older brother or sister of a child keeps whispering to other kids his 'theories' on how the tricks are done.
Message: Posted by: magicgeorge (Jun 2, 2008 10:00AM)
Ha, listen to big bro theorising away. Don't shout them out, write them all down on a piece of paper and I'll mark it after the show. What you should really be wondering is not how I'm doing this stuff but why I'm doing this stuff. I could've been an engineer, you know.

Someone shouts out "poo!"
Message: Posted by: Larry Bean (Jun 2, 2008 10:01AM)
You might have the theorist up to assist you and totally blow his mind with your best effect. That might shut him up.

Or you could just wink at him and say that there isn't going to be a test at the end of the show.

You ask an adult-looking assistant on stage to help with an effect - you hand he or she a menu and ask them to choose any entree and read it out loud. After several long seconds you realize that he/she can't read at all or not very well or at least can't read the words on the menu. What would you do?
Message: Posted by: magicgeorge (Jun 2, 2008 10:05AM)
Oops. you must've forgotten your glasses. My gran never remembers where she puts her glasses so now she just drinks straight from the bottle. Let me have a look. I've forgotten my glasses too, say you haven't got a baboon in you pocket?

Message: Posted by: magic4u02 (Jun 2, 2008 06:58PM)
George: good stuff but you need to post the next situation for the next person to assist with. Keep in mind that I want to keeop it all magic rleated and real situations that could possibly come up.

Message: Posted by: magicgeorge (Jun 2, 2008 07:36PM)
I did. Someone shouts out Poo! (while you're doing your magic related magic-themed magic show)
Message: Posted by: jocdoc (Jun 2, 2008 11:56PM)
"I'm sorry, but Winnie, Tigger, Piglet and the rest of the gang are meeting in the next building over. If you hurry, you might still catch them..."

During a ventriloquist routine, your dummy suddenly comes down with laryngitis... :)

OK, maybe not.... how's about: thumb tip accidentally comes loose and falls off in front of spectator(s).
Message: Posted by: NJJ (Jun 3, 2008 06:55AM)
Before anyone suggest "I'm all thumbs today" let me try some other responses.

"Oops! That's leprosy for you!"
"That's not the first time I've exposed myself...smaller this though."
"Man...the Magician's Alliance are not going to like this"
Message: Posted by: NJJ (Jun 3, 2008 06:57AM)
You arrive to do a kid's magic show only to find a room full of 16 year olds who don't speak english!

(happened today)
Message: Posted by: magicgeorge (Jun 3, 2008 07:51AM)
Aside: Is this really a humour exercise or a get out of an embarassing situation exercise? For more delicate problems, humour probably isn't the way to go. I don't think I'd actually use any of the humorous solutions (except the big brother one which is roughly what I said last time it happened). Is keeping this thread magic-related making it more helpful? Most of the humour in my show has nothing to do with magic. It just happens to happen while I'm performing magic. In gag tag most of the useable/creative stuff came before everyone tried relating everything to magic and magicians.


I'd probably see how much of my act I could do in silence and then make them all stupid balloon hats for the remainder of the time.

You get a small boy up to help with a trick. When he gets to the stage you realise he's not a boy but a shaved monkey. What do you do?
Message: Posted by: Sealegs (Jun 3, 2008 09:15AM)
You should be prepared that Gibbon half a chance his Marm-'ll-set on you and give you a proper G'rilling.

MagicGeorge; your aside to makes a good point. At least ways that my considered opinion.

You turn up to do a show and only then realise that you've shrunk in the wash and are only 18" tall? What do you do?
Message: Posted by: jocdoc (Jun 4, 2008 01:35AM)
Realize that you should have taken the little blue pill instead of the red. Then use a diminishing deck to perform card to miniature wallet. [Also, wear eye protection against peoples' knees and condense your act.]

You're scheduled to do a show in Australia and arrive in time only to find that Australia is closed for renovations. What would you do?
Message: Posted by: magicgeorge (Jun 4, 2008 05:14AM)
Swim to New Zealand (it's only an inch away on a world map) and hope that my show is good enough to distract them from their usual entertainment (baa).

Your show is interrupted 6 foot rat on LSD who has become convinced that your shoes are made of cheese. WWYD?
Message: Posted by: Sealegs (Jun 4, 2008 06:09AM)
Exchange the [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C2%A3sd]Lsd[/url] into current decimal coinage then rat can afford to go and buy his own cheese shoes.

You travel to a show in a De Lorean car you bought from a Mr M McFly and arrive 5 years late to your gig. What would you do.
Message: Posted by: jocdoc (Jun 5, 2008 02:02AM)
I'd knock down a Dr. Brown's soda, pick up the latest new magic tricks/gimmicks/concepts on the market and then fire up that old flux capacitor once again to travel back in time and blow everybody away with my new act.

Your tour boat leaves you stranded on a remote desert island along with 7 other castaways of various backgrounds (skipper, 1st mate, gorgeous movie star, plain jane, an eccentric couple and a very smart man). Who does the dishes?
Message: Posted by: Larry Bean (Jun 6, 2008 10:06AM)
Usually Gilligan.

During a show your helper from the audience sneezes so loud and so often he/she is actually starting to steal the show. What do you do or say?
Message: Posted by: jocdoc (Jun 7, 2008 03:05AM)
"You mixed up your pepper and deodorant sprays this morning, didn't you?!"

You're doing walk-around at a cocktail party and you stop to entertain a drop dead gorgeous woman. She's staring intently at your hands as you perform with some cards. Do you go ahead and make your pass anyway?
Message: Posted by: Sealegs (Jun 9, 2008 05:55PM)
If when you make your pass you tend to flash I would say you might want to think of doing something else.... Personally I would go for my variation of the Bottom Placement that utilises a rather unusual fingering that I have found works very well in this situation.

You accept a booking to do a 'kids show' and when you turn up you find that you're working for an audience of 27 young goats. It's too late to hire a Nanny...What do you do?
Message: Posted by: jocdoc (Jun 11, 2008 02:30AM)
You could conceivably milk the magical moments for everything they're worth unless you hear the audience heckling you about your cheesy jokes and how baaaaaaaaad you were...

You're booked for a special week in Hell and find the audience filled with horny little devils. What do you use for an opener?
Message: Posted by: Larry Bean (Jun 12, 2008 09:31AM)
Snowstorm in China or anything else to get the temperature cooler.

You are forcing a card with your "special" deck. The spectator remembers the card and puts it back. A bit later after you have committed to the prediction you realize that it wasn't your "special" deck after all and that you have no idea what their card is. Your odds of a successful trick dropped from 100% to a 1 in 52 chance. What do you do?
Message: Posted by: jocdoc (Jun 13, 2008 07:44PM)
This is what card to wallet,card under glass, and invisible deck effects are for...

Or, you can explain to audience that you just gave a demonstration of a card force and ask the spectator what card he/she picked. You respond with a hearty "You're right!!!"

OK, you just tried my lame out as described in the second paragraph and they didn't buy it. Now, what would you do?
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 13, 2008 08:02PM)
Act like it is all part of the act, say something like "you really should practice that trick more before doing it in public", take the deck and go immediately into a different card routine as if this was all planned.

You are using a very expensive motor driven levitation, and once you get the subject from the audience up in the air, the circuit breaker blows and the apparatus won't move anymore, what do you do?
Message: Posted by: Larry Bean (Jun 14, 2008 10:58AM)
"Thank You Ladies and Gentlemen for that rousing response to my levitation. Come back next week for the sequel, 'The De-Levitation' I think you'll enjoy it

You are doing a trick with a little boy helping you at a church gathering. You hand him the magic wand which he promptly places at his crotch holding it out with both hands. The audience is hysterical, but those who hired you are obviously getting peeved. What do you do now?
Message: Posted by: jocdoc (Jun 14, 2008 02:32PM)
"Don't worry folks, little Johnnie is just hinting that time is petering out..."
"Be careful how you walk with that son, you may hurt something..."
"No, little Johnnie, Jesus raised up Lazarus, not Peter!"


You are working a holiday office party for C.O.N.T.R.O.L. and the entire gang is present (Max, 99, Chief, Hymie, etc). What effect could you use as an opener?
Message: Posted by: Larry Bean (Jun 14, 2008 06:29PM)
Anything that doesn't cause C.H.A.O.S. (K.A.O.S - not sure of spelling) and hope that the audience isn't seated in the cone of silence.

Your show's going well when all of a sudden your assistant from the audience rips a stinky one that's loud enough for all to hear. What do you do?
Message: Posted by: Chappo (Jun 14, 2008 08:20PM)
Quickly state without a difference in expression 'And that reminds me, ladies and gentlemen, please turn off all cell phones during this performance."


Half way through an ACR, you drop a spectator's signed card. EXCEPT you are the only one who has seen it drop (IE: The trick is looking normal to your spectators).

NB: You do not have a second deck on your person (BW, Gaffs or Standard)
Message: Posted by: jocdoc (Jun 15, 2008 03:14AM)
You could tell the spectators that you've come up with a new way of mixing the cards and then drop them all on the floor in the vicinity of the fallen card (don't lose track of it though). Pick up all of the cards (with the selected signed card wherever you want it to be) and proudly announce "now, that's how to really mix up the cards!"

You're working a moose's birthday party in Frostbite Falls, Minnesota and he insists on showing you the old "pull a rabbit out of a hat" trick. You assume that he's full of bull. However, he really attempts the trick and accidentally goes on to pull a fire-breathing monster's head from the hat. And, if that's not bad enough, next he calls up an assistant from the crowd, a lovely Russian woman named Natasha. Apparently he's going to perform some mentalism stunt and inquires if her marriage is rocky at the moment. This moose is driving you insane. How do you regain control of your show?
Message: Posted by: jocdoc (Jun 17, 2008 02:15AM)
The following answer was submitted by a short, squat Russian magician, a Mr. Boris Badanov: "Forget moose. Get squirrel!"
So you have this levitating squirrel that gives the illusion that it's flying when it's invisible harness breaks. What considerations would you have regarding said squirrel to prevent injury?
Message: Posted by: jocdoc (Jun 19, 2008 11:11PM)
Make sure that it doesn't land on it's nuts.

And with this it looks like I managed to finally kill a thread...