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Topic: You Know You're Spending Too Much Time with Magic When...
Message: Posted by: John Long (Apr 23, 2009 08:06PM)
You Know You're Spending Too Much Time w/Magic When

- when you wonder if the communion server may be trying to force a communion element on you.
- when your wife says the baby has a load, and you think "was he watching my Cups & Ball routine?
- you think your printer did a double lift of the paper through its feed
- its time to be romantic, and you think: Vernet or soft?
- your wife says she just loves the spring flowers, and you wonder "when did she start liking my magic?"
- your wife says you're good at manipulating, and you think she's complimenting you
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Apr 23, 2009 08:12PM)
When you should be on the phone but you're busy reading this stuff.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Apr 24, 2009 12:41PM)
You check every coin you get to see if maybe it was a gaffed coin some magician accidentally spent.
You can't walk past a deck of cards with out doing a fan and a back palm.
When standing in line to pay for something you keep back palming and front palming your credit card.
You sit down in a restaraunt and while waiting on your food start doing french drops and retention vanishes with the sugar packets.
Someone asks you if this is your key ring and you don't feel your pockets.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Apr 24, 2009 02:57PM)
When you should be on the phone but you're busy reading this stuff....... again
Message: Posted by: tabman (Apr 24, 2009 03:06PM)
The real idea is figuring out how to have your world turn around magic. Shouldn't be too hard. Magicians are smarter than everybody else anyway.

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Apr 24, 2009 05:11PM)
When you see "it" you think of something other than an pronoun.
When you hear "Mark Wilson" you don't think of a race car driver.
When no one had to explain Judge Harry Stone's "Thank you Nani Darnell" comment to you.
Someone asks you to envision a beautiful woman and you think of Nani Darnell.
When you hear someone at work talking about seeing a great pass and you think he is talking about a card move.
You can't look at a bag full of baloons without thinking about making balloon animals.
You are surprised when you cut into a lemon and don't find a signed bill inside of it.
When you think of silks and eggs like other people think of bacon and eggs.
You are surprised when someone takes a coin with their left hand and the coin is really in their left hand.
Message: Posted by: Donal Chayce (Apr 24, 2009 05:12PM)
Every bill in your wallet shows creases from practicing your bill switch.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Apr 24, 2009 10:41PM)
When you hand anyone a bill or piece of paper of any kind and without thinking hand them a sharpy to sign it.
When the word "soft" makes you think of coins.
When you walk through a Hobby Lobby and immediately start dreaming up new tricks.
When your in church and realize you just let out a groan when the preacher said "Angel".
When you look at a pretty girl and immediately start figuring out whether or not she will fit into your illusion.
(man, could I be spending too much time with magic?)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 25, 2009 12:53PM)
When you go to a shopping mall, you'll look around to see whether there is something you can use for your shows.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Apr 25, 2009 06:10PM)
When you own 6 change bags.
When you own 25 thumb tips.
When you are the only man in town who owns more than a dozen silk scarves.
When people talk about doves you think of loads and not hunting.
When you own more than one rubber chicken.
When you are not a gambler but have at least 50 decks of cards in your house.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Apr 25, 2009 09:55PM)
All of the above and 10 times more
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 26, 2009 04:06PM)
When you are not satisfied with your ACR routine and want to improve on it again.
When you are not happy with the last 25 chop cup purchases and wants more.
When you are showing off how smart you are with a 100 rings routine.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Apr 26, 2009 06:05PM)
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Nani Darnell.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Pam Thompson.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Trixe Bond.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Celeste Evans.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Debbie Leifer.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Tina Lenert.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Gay Blackstone.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Juliana Chen.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Abbi Spinner.

(Hmmmm, maybe my problem isn't magic at all...)
Message: Posted by: Corbett (Apr 27, 2009 07:10AM)
- When most rooms of your home have at least one deck of cards lying somewhere. (this bugs my wife to death!)

- When the number of red and blue bicycle decks is too many to recall which are real, what are gaffed, which ones are full, and which ones have cards missing because you needed a dupe for another routine.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 27, 2009 03:38PM)
When you don't know how to organise your house any more with all those props lying everywhere.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Apr 27, 2009 05:53PM)
When your pencil holders are full of magic wands.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Apr 28, 2009 12:39PM)
When you wake up in a room full of magic then get in your car which has tricks in every pocket and finally get to the shop where you are sitting in your office that has 800 catalogs and 4 display cabinets that hold 1500 small tricks - forget about the rest of the place, it's full too.

and

When you get a fire inspection and they call all the guys in, from the truck, to look at all your stuff....... and you think they are admiring it....... but..... they are trying to figure out how to tell you to throw 50 percent of it away............. and................. you tell them that you're getting more! ! !
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Apr 28, 2009 01:19PM)
(OK, Jay, stop spying on me!)

When you have doctorates in psychology and theology and every bookcase in your house is full of magic books.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Apr 28, 2009 03:53PM)
Not to mention the storage unit down the street, the old microwave oven & also the new microwave oven and half the steps to the second floor. What's a book case? They stack higher by themselves and make a nice obstacle course.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Apr 28, 2009 07:38PM)
(WOW! You really are spying on me. I gotta look for those cameras!)

When you leave $40,000 worth of automobiles in your driveway so you can keep $2,000 worth of magic junk in your garage.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Apr 28, 2009 08:37PM)
Now you're spying on me, Father Photius!
Message: Posted by: tabman (Apr 29, 2009 11:04AM)
[quote]
On 2009-04-28 20:38, Father Photius wrote:

When you leave $40,000 worth of automobiles in your driveway so you can keep $2,000 worth of magic junk in your garage.

[/quote]

WOW!! I'm glad that magicians can afford $40k cars these days. That's exciting and makes me hopeful for the future.

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Apr 29, 2009 01:30PM)
When you hold your newest trick in your hand all night so you can get the feel for it.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Apr 29, 2009 01:40PM)
[quote]
On 2009-04-29 12:04, tabman wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-04-28 20:38, Father Photius wrote:

When you leave $40,000 worth of automobiles in your driveway so you can keep $2,000 worth of magic junk in your garage.

[/quote]

WOW!! I'm glad that magicians can afford $40k cars these days. That's exciting and makes me hopeful for the future.

-=tabman
[/quote]

Oh. I thought he said $400.00 worth of cars in the driveway. :blush:
Message: Posted by: mengst (Apr 29, 2009 02:48PM)
When you have to check your money before you hand it to the cashier.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 29, 2009 04:22PM)
When you can't find your wallet because your pockets are full of TTs, invisible decks and rubber bands.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Apr 29, 2009 04:58PM)
When you need to leave regular cloths behind so you can stuff your close-up act in your carry-on bag.

Posted: Apr 29, 2009 7:53pm
When your girl friend breaks up with you because your idea of going to her families home, for the holidays, involves her being your assistant, in their living room so you to practice your parlor show.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Apr 29, 2009 06:53PM)
When you carry an empty suitcase to magic conventions to bring back full of new props.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 1, 2009 02:35PM)
When you are eager to try out ridiculous methods for fire effects and nearly blow up your house.
Message: Posted by: martin1025 (May 1, 2009 03:17PM)
- When you start a new job and pretend to be a smoker just so that you'll have an
excuse to go out for a few minutes to practice card sleights.

- When you practice one handed sleigths while driving

- When your friends are not bothered at all that you are doing faros while talking to them.

- when your girlfriend has finally accpepted the fact she is second to the cards
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 1, 2009 05:15PM)
When you are practising the invisible pass with a deck of cards everywhere and anywhere you go.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 1, 2009 05:23PM)
And when that pass really becomes invisible
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 1, 2009 09:12PM)
When you spend an hour on Jay's site comparing his picturs there to his avatar to try to decide if he is really him.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 1, 2009 09:19PM)
When you buy your wife the 9 dvd set of Astonishment videos for her birthday...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 1, 2009 10:34PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-01 22:19, joseph wrote:
When you buy your wife the 9 dvd set of Astonishment videos for her birthday...
[/quote]

(As they say here in the South: "Yo in a heap O trouble, boy!")

When you realize the thing you keep all your cuff links, lapel pins, and tie tacs in is a change bag.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 2, 2009 04:20AM)
When you are watching someone performing on stage and you have the urge to go up there to share the limelight.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 2, 2009 05:31AM)
When you plan your vacation based only on the cities that have a magic shop...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 2, 2009 06:07AM)
When you would drive 400 miles with a group of magician friends to meet another group of magicians just to talk magic with them.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 2, 2009 03:55PM)
When you go to Las Vegas and the only thing you want to do is magic.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 3, 2009 05:07AM)
You can only pay for your groceries with Barber halves...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 3, 2009 12:25PM)
When you enjoy the status of being a magician even when you are really jobless.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 3, 2009 03:48PM)
You make a screen saver out of Dynamikes avatars.. :) ...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 3, 2009 04:07PM)
(But without Dyna knowing)

When you go to the Magic Castle swap meet (yesterday) and walk past the same 60 tables 99 times and keep telling people that you're leaving in ten minutes.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 4, 2009 07:23AM)
When you insist on showing every magician you meet the invisible pass you have been practising and bragging how fast you are eventhough everyone can see exactly what is happening.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 4, 2009 11:09AM)
We call that a lecture, not a show.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 4, 2009 01:40PM)
When you pack for a trip anywhere for any reason and have to always remember to pack a few props and at least one magic book.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 4, 2009 03:27PM)
When your wife is complaining that your props are taking a lot of space on your bed, her dressing table and even the bathroom.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 4, 2009 07:11PM)
When your wife is complaining that all the artwork on the walls is magic posters.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 4, 2009 07:30PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-04 20:11, jay leslie wrote:
When your wife is complaining that all the artwork on the walls is magic posters.
[/quote]
(ROFL, she made that complaint not 5 minutes before I read this! I know you have my house bugged now, Jay!)

When the pictures of your relatives are all magic posters.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 5, 2009 01:05AM)
When you have replaced all the family photos with Houdini's photos.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 5, 2009 12:55PM)
WHEN..... get this....... When your wife refuses to get in the car until you remove the magnetic sign that says..... "I'm a clown" - - and it's on the passenger side so all the little kids stick their tongues out as you pass by on the freeway.

And when the customer reads said sign and calls the number and asks if your wife is the lady who is the clown. And she has has to grit her teeth because she really doesn't like magic but kindly hands you the phone. But you really don't do any shows; you are using the business as a tax write-off.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 5, 2009 02:29PM)
When all the computer sites you visit deal only with magic.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 5, 2009 03:26PM)
When you have pasted the "I'm A Magician" stickers on almost everything you owned.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 5, 2009 07:06PM)
When your brief case has 500 "I'm a member of the Magic Café" Stickers in its inside pocket.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 5, 2009 08:37PM)
When you attend a business conference your company sent you to and you spend your time doing tricks.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 5, 2009 09:36PM)
Your brown loafers hold walking liberties instead of pennies...
Message: Posted by: vanishingrabbit (May 5, 2009 10:01PM)
When you have to do Extreme burn EVERY time you buy something in a store
Message: Posted by: magicnix (May 5, 2009 11:05PM)
When all of the business cards in your wallet are from magic stores.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 6, 2009 11:53AM)
Blindfolded, you are handed a cup (out of someone else's 100 cup collection) and you know the manufacturer & model.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 6, 2009 02:37PM)
When you are so eager to go to any magic shop and hope to find something new to buy.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (May 6, 2009 03:49PM)
When you are eight years old and you walk into a magic shop and say, "I have thirty-five cents. What can I buy?"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 6, 2009 03:52PM)
When you just cannot resist going to a magic shop even if you do not have an intention to buy anything.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 6, 2009 07:29PM)
When everyone in Las Vegas is shoving quarters into machines you are standing around doing tenkai pinch with them.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 7, 2009 10:47AM)
When you have memorized both the Buma and the Conradi versions of Cube a libra.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 7, 2009 02:58PM)
When you are trying so hard to impress Nani Darnell that you can do the french drop better than any magician in the universe.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 7, 2009 04:23PM)
When you keep reading every single post looking for the triumphant return of Dynamike and hope he realizes that without him - there would be- at least 1,700 less posts each year, approximately more or less..... or thereabouts... give or take a few........ probably.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 7, 2009 04:27PM)
When you start collecting props that comes in different versions, colors, materials and makers, and hope that you can have your own magic museum.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 7, 2009 07:53PM)
When you already have all those props but don't have time to write down what they are.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 7, 2009 11:33PM)
When someone asks you how many unopened magic DVDs you own and you only know that there are so many you have no idea how many there are.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 8, 2009 02:53PM)
When your magician friends visit your house and they thought they just walked into a magic shop.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 8, 2009 03:18PM)
When your non-magic friends visit and the DID walk into a magic shop!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 8, 2009 03:27PM)
When you know where to locate all your performances costumes but unable to find your regular clothes.
Message: Posted by: Gary Shelton (May 8, 2009 03:44PM)
When you finish a birthday party show and mom says "Oh it was just as wonderful as when you did my 7th birthday"
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 8, 2009 04:42PM)
When you can remember the password to get into the Magic Castle but can't remember your email password.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 8, 2009 04:52PM)
When you reminisce that all magic tricks sold for 50˘, $2.00, $5.00, $7.50, $12.50 or $37.50 but none of them was self working, most used silks or liquid and many had bad paint jobs.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 8, 2009 06:35PM)
(most, except those made by Jay, still have bad paint jobs)

When you sit around and reminisce to your grandchildren about when you could buy a dove pan for under $20.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 9, 2009 04:45AM)
When you wake up and the first thing you do is to go to your magic corner and just touch those cup collections of yours.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 9, 2009 05:05AM)
Your bathroom "library" is stuffed with magic magazines...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 9, 2009 08:22AM)
When you habitually take your close up case (instead of your working briefcase) to the office.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 9, 2009 08:47AM)
You send out Christmas cards with rabbits on them instead of reindeer...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 9, 2009 09:21AM)
You only have 3 sets of cups but a room full of final loads items (thousands of them).
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 9, 2009 10:56AM)
But you need thousands of them because your balls are so small. (James would know)
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 9, 2009 01:12PM)
When you have hundreds of professional journals in your chosen career field still sealed in their plastic mailing bags (and you are going to get around to reading them one day), but you receive 4 different magic magazines a month and they all have been read the day they came.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 9, 2009 09:53PM)
I give, you win.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 9, 2009 09:58PM)
(ROFL, there is no winning against you, Jay)

(ROFL stands for Ratty Old Father's Limbago)

When you you have worn out 4 sets of Tarbells and 25 copies of Complete Course in Magic.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 10, 2009 05:53AM)
When you take your lotta bowl across the desert, thinking you will never run out of water...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 10, 2009 11:57AM)
I thought ROLF meant - Really Odd Foulard Load

When your spare bathrooms are filled with tables and props.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 10, 2009 12:01PM)
You cannot resist performing the spoon and fork bending trick everytime there's a spoon and fork around during meal times with friends.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 10, 2009 03:05PM)
When you buy your grand nephews endless numbers of magic kits hoping one of them will become a magician. (This sort of thing happens when you don't have any grandkids).
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 10, 2009 05:01PM)
When you keep on hoping one of your kids would suddenly have an interest for magic even when they already showed no desire at all.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 10, 2009 06:30PM)
When you actually believe that one day you will master the second deal.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 11, 2009 12:08AM)
When you cannot resist gaffing every cup and bending evey silver fork and spoon from your mother's collection.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 11, 2009 01:34PM)
When you finally are able to do the coin roll and you think you are now a good coin magician.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 11, 2009 02:51PM)
When you think that the more times you pick up coins during your practises the better you become. So you created a way to drop the coins more times than any magician in the universe.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 11, 2009 07:32PM)
When both of you keep posting non-stop.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 11, 2009 11:52PM)
When Jay's avatar starts to look normal to you.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 12, 2009 09:16AM)
When to you your four most heart stirring words are not "Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!" but rather "Thank You Wilma Rench!" (after she plays "There's No Business Like Show Business" signaling the start of the Abbott's evening Get-Together program).
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 12, 2009 10:32AM)
When you remember piano players names like Wilma Rench.. :) ...
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 12, 2009 12:05PM)
When every time you are in a bookstore, you immediately go over to the "Games" section to see what the latest magic books are that have been released to the general public...

Posted: May 12, 2009 1:09pm
When at Big Lots, you see if any new ceramic bunnies have come in for your vast collection of ceramic bunnies and bunny salt and pepper shakers...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 12, 2009 12:20PM)
When you know that Michael Close plays the piano well.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 12, 2009 01:14PM)
When you know that Michael Close drops the F bomb a lot on his joke CD but never in MUM. When you know how to pronounce MUM. When you know Dean Dill is a barber. When you know the M&M Café is up for sale. When you know that Michael Close is a really funny guy. When you know who Ed Alonzo used to be married to. When you know who Ed Alonzo's ex-wife used to date. When you know what part of Dean's box rope routine was written about by Sid Lorraine years ago. When you know that Spurlock magic posters were done in Day-Glow paint. When you know what item JC Wagner is referring to when he said he lost his special customized "prop" to the airlines from his Benson/Alan bowl routine. That you know whatever happened to Spurlock. That you know what Denny's surprise conclusion is to his egg bag routine. That you know what part of Johnny Thompson's appearance that he is very careful with. That you know the name of the symphony piece used by Monk Watson. That you know how Neil Foster ended his Zombie routine. And last but not least- you know if Senator Crandall smoked cigars or cigarettes.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 12, 2009 02:22PM)
When you know all kinds of news, gossips and announcement related to any magician on this earth .... even the birth or death of any magician's pets.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 13, 2009 12:12AM)
When you know what Pam Thompson carries in that bag.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 13, 2009 11:31AM)
That's IT!!!! You guys know wayyyyy tooooooooooo much!

OK... I'll throw one in..... When you know the type of establishment that Okito visited as soon as he arrived in a new town (and hopefully before the first show).
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 13, 2009 12:06PM)
(You definitely spend too much time with magic, Jay"

When you know Nani Darnell's full real name.
Message: Posted by: Ken Dumm (May 13, 2009 12:33PM)
When you carry an extra airline bag for a suit every time you go to LA, just in case you get a chance to go to the Magic Castle...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 13, 2009 03:34PM)
When you don't live in California but spend more money at the Magic Castle than you do on rent.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 13, 2009 04:33PM)
That you know the reason why Al Flosso denied knowing where Harry Blackstone, Sr. was when asked by a visitor to his shop. That you know the color of Penn's fingernail polish. That after buying Slow Burn, you just had to buy Extreme Burn as well. That you bought a Predicta-Total from Bob Mason/Abbott's years ago, then just had to have Clearly Predictable from Elmwood. That you have both a single load and a double load dove pan. That you use the Boris Wild marked deck as an "out" for all your card routines. That you think the reason Al Goshman died was his overexposure to sponge ball dust. That you stopped blowing up balloon animals due to having too much ballon talc in your lungs. That you purchased a vehicle based on your magic table being able to fit flat in the back seat. That you have never thrown out a magic magazine, lecture notes, flier, convention roster, or ID badge on anything magic related in your lifetime. That when decided to do a linking ring routine, you first had to purchase at least 5 DVDs on the subject in addition to the 4 sets of rings you already have and the four book routines. That you have at least 5 full thimble sets by Fakini, Vernet, including some in cheap plastic, but have never done a thimble routine in your lifetime... ditto for all the three shell game sets you have collected. That you have The Invisible Deck in both regular and jumbo size. That you keep all your old expired Stevens Magic catalogs. That you know who Lee is from Denny and Lee's. That you know what P & L and L & L stands for. That you cannot understand how "quick change" or yo-yo routines ever became "magic", but you still enjoy it nonetheless. That you know what heavily advertising magician also does a yo-yo routine. That you actually saw a performer do "Snowstorm" without first saying he was explaining it to some child in a warm climate who had never seen snow what snow was. That you know what color the Jim Sommer's rip off Zig Zag was. That you actually saw a dove performer who did not kiss his doves first before placing them in a vanishing bird cage. That you know how funny and why it was funny for Karrell Fox's "Six Card Repeat" otherwise known as the "throw away" card trick. That you know what made Mike Caldwell famous. That you know who made the mop famous as part of the act. You have at least 25 miniature "baby" sponge bunnies from various sponge bunny packages, including in red, yellow, 3D, and cheap white. You know whose Michgian grave magicians leave coins on. That you know what kind of cookie Mac King likes. And last but not least, you have your own ongoing stash of velcro in case you need it.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 13, 2009 04:42PM)
(Ok, that's me. I know what Flosso said when asked about the whereabouts of my uncle harry, sr., I even know the why the inqiring party asked. And he wasn't the first! Plus he asked Flosso out at Coney Island, not in the shop)

When you find yourself answering others statements about if you know this you know too much.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 13, 2009 04:59PM)
Whoops... When you know Harry's brother's name... When you know how a Kitchen fits in all this... When you know some of Percy Abbott's stuff ended up over at FAB Magic... When you have on VCR the time magic was performed at the Super Bowl and who was performing... That you know the name of Gay's friend who has been on Abbott's stage more than any other human being... that you recognized this friend in the audience on "Masters of Illusion"... that you actually know where The Amazing Jonathan is currently performing at... And last but not least, you know how Al Flosso actually demo-ed his Imp Bottle.

That you have done the "paddle" move using a spoon- showing how you can't eat off of it as both sides of the spoon are curved up... And last but not least- you constantly use blogging on The Magic Café' as a way to procrastinate while at work...- guilty!

Thanks, really enjoyed this thread, I compiled a "best off" list of several of these for handing out at Ring 211 meeting on May 25. Has been a blast. Keep it going, pretty convicting and funny yet too true stuff. Roger from http://www.ChristianMagician.org
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 13, 2009 05:51PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-13 18:30, MagicBus wrote:...I compiled a "best off" list of several of these for handing out at Ring 211 meeting on May 25. Roger from http://www.ChristianMagician.org
[/quote]

It is a fun thread to read every day. I keep thinking nobody else can come up with anything and then, BAM!! a new, funny, message.

I have a suggestion. SInce you're taking the "best off" it, why not just take it all and do a book??

-=tabman

And another one: You actually know how to spell Amazing Johnathan's name!!
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 13, 2009 06:33PM)
When you can remember and owned perhaps the best ever kid's close up trick- called "El Toro"- it featured a small palm sized round blue plastic case with a little guy holding a sword-- you'd then place a small "key" directly into the little case-- and by hitting a little handle on the side of the case, the sword would directly, visably, and openly pass right through the miniature key that was earlier inserted in the path of the downward stroke of the sword... Wow!

Or, that you have ever been cut by vanishing cane... that you have kids magic kits by Mac King or Barnes and Noble beginning juggling sets even though you are an adult... that you have at least 5 sets of dice in that you never know when you might need to do a dice roll... that you have enough magic stands that if you set them all up in a row, they'd have the surface volume of several pool tables... that you have a miniature, regular sized, and jumbo Strat-O-Spheres that you can use with plastic fruit... that you have performed coin matrix with coins, bottle caps and Fakini miniature sticky balls... that you have used a billet... that you have several yards of magician's rope... and several sizes of close up pads... that you have actually heard of "Nosey Volunteers"... that you know what college Penquin Magic started at... or where David Copperfield's island is... that you have different sized coloring books... that you read the Ring and club reports in The Linking Ring and MUM... that you have worn out more than one PK rings... that you have uttered the words "Peter Rabbit Go To Town" at least 50 times... and last but not least- you own your own pair of patent leather shoes.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 13, 2009 06:37PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-13 17:59, MagicBus wrote:
Whoops... When you know Harry's brother's name.
[/quote]
(That's brother's plural, while Uncle Harry (Henry) had half siblings from his mom, Barbara's, first marriage, there were three Boughton boys, Henry (Harry), Peter (Pete) and William. Everybody knows Pete who toured with Uncle Harry, but few know William.)

When you actually take time to note such things on a magic discussion board.
Message: Posted by: Dr. Delusion (May 13, 2009 08:38PM)
When you have just enough extra money to get your pick up, which is your only means of transportation, a badly needed tune up, but instead spend the money on an illusion that you might actually be able to perform once a year.
Bob.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 14, 2009 01:03PM)
When you know every usernames and their real names of all that have posted in this Café.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 14, 2009 03:21PM)
All your suit coats have that big extra pocket inside...
Message: Posted by: John Long (May 14, 2009 05:43PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-14 14:03, JamesTong wrote:
When you know every usernames and their real names of all that have posted in this Café.
[/quote]

or when you know how many posts they have, are giving odds on when Jonathan will reach 50,000, and wonder what the label will be for that many posts.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 15, 2009 10:52AM)
You know that you're spending WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too much time with magic when you actually read all these posts....... while you are practicing one-handed cuts!

Or when you name your dog Thurston.
Message: Posted by: Ken Dumm (May 15, 2009 11:48AM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-13 17:59, MagicBus wrote:
That you know the name of Gay's friend who has been on Abbott's stage more than any other human being... that you recognized this friend in the audience on "Masters of Illusion"...
[/quote]

That you know this woman became a grandmother on May 2nd.....
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 15, 2009 01:28PM)
When you know the dates of every and all magic events hapenning around the world and you also know the names of every attendees and performers, lecturers and dealers. You even know the names of those who bought items from dealers and also what items they bought at what price. And last but not least you even know the names of magicians who were not paying attention to what is happening at the events because they were goggling their eyes on those pretty chicks there ... particularly those who cannot take their eyes off Nani Darnell.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 15, 2009 01:54PM)
Congrats! Harriet! Or when your rabbit's name (my black rabbit, actually) is named "Hairy Blackstone", and also is called "Dirty Harry" before you put him in your rabbit wringer "washing machine." Or when your "office"/den at home smells like a barn yard because that is where the rabbit's hutch is kept... Or when on your ipod you have Wilma Rench organ music which features "If I Had My Way." Or when Max Maven's "Inguisition" in Genii is not very difficult trivia for you each month. That you know the first female President of IBM and where she currently lives (and how old she is). That you can't ever spend a $2 bill or 50 cent piece since you might have a magical use for it someday. That your businees/office website (which has nothing to do with magic) also mentions your being a magician. That you know who does the "Commando" act. That you know that Sanka and Sankey are totally different. That you can immediately name at least three magicians who are also attorneys (or doctors, for that matter). That you actually considered getting one of those "lifetime" subscriptions to a magic magazine. All these things are very much true of me, that's why doing these lists are so hideously easy for me (yikes!). Love reading your stuff too, often is all too familiar. Have a magical weekend! "Hairy" is in action at http://www.ChristianMagician.org.
Message: Posted by: Marcus Nogueira (May 15, 2009 01:59PM)
When you walk around all day with a half dollar palmed in each hand.
Message: Posted by: Larry Bean (May 15, 2009 02:32PM)
When you carry scissors into the shower so you can perform cut and restored with soap on a rope.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 15, 2009 04:07PM)
When you know all the psutonyms that Bill Larsen Sr., wrote under.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 15, 2009 09:45PM)
When you can tell the difference between Greg, R Paul, Mark, and Woodrow Wilson...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 15, 2009 10:41PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-15 12:48, Ken Dumm wrote:


That you know this woman became a grandmother on May 2nd.....
[/quote]

Actually that should be became a grandmother "again".

When you know Gay's first name, and Bellamie's middle name.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 16, 2009 12:31AM)
When you know that James Tong is not related to Danny Tong.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 16, 2009 06:18AM)
You join the Navy to work on the deck...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 16, 2009 10:52AM)
(Oh I joined the navy to see the world and all I did was work on the deck....)

When you own 5 dvds and 4 books on the Emsley count.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 16, 2009 03:12PM)
When you own every book published on 'cups and balls' but you could only perform the simplest chop cup routine without a final load.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 16, 2009 07:06PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-16 01:31, JamesTong wrote:
When you know that James Tong is not related to Danny Tong.
[/quote]

or a a salad tong.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 17, 2009 05:27AM)
(That's a good one, Jay, LOL)

When you are just too eager to learn the next version of the trick you already knew even though you still cannot do it well. And knowing that you do not have enough time to practice you just want to learn and absorb lots of new things from every magic club meetings and conventions.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 17, 2009 05:38AM)
When you twist that creepy, irritating little dog into a balloon animal...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 17, 2009 12:30PM)
When you begin twisting the long balloons in multiple loops and believe the outcome is a pink panther or a poodle, and when you showed the work to others they cannot even recognize the shape of your work.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 17, 2009 02:24PM)
When you can make 20 different kinds of dogs (but all the kids at the party ask for a cat.... a pink cat...... and none of them are girls!)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 17, 2009 03:29PM)
When you spend years practicing blowing up balloons without a pump and insist that that is the right way to do.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 17, 2009 08:08PM)
When you have to call the next show on your cell because you're late because the mom who booked you lied and said there were going to be 10 kids and (are you keeping up with this?) you show up to find that you need to make balloon animals for 45 instead?

Here is a quiz to see if anyone was listening: What is the name of the female assistant that Father Photius mentions in every third post? Question number 2, Who wore the Red Jacket Of Mystery and why has no one called him personally to see what we can do to get him back? Question number 3, Did anyone know that Bill Logan is extremely wealthy? He inherited a bunch of money from the Logan Lathe company and lives on a yacht. He needs a 20,00 square foot building to house his collection. He probably will deny this because of how humble he is.

Please submit your answers (one per household) and mention my name.... It won't get you anything, I just like my name mentioned.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 18, 2009 02:49PM)
I believe Bill Logan's huge collection of props already sunk his yacht and he is thinking of buying over the new Titanic so we can join him for his convention and hopefully halfway during one of the lectures the ship don't sink again.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (May 18, 2009 03:57PM)
Who is Bill Logan?
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 18, 2009 05:43PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-17 21:08, jay leslie wrote:.... and mention my name.... It won't get you anything, I just like my name mentioned.
[/quote]

that's a funny line. I hadn't heard it before. Is it your original?? Anyway, very funny!

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 18, 2009 06:44PM)
Uh, Gay Blackstone, Kelly's husband, just put out some pop tarts, and uh ok he is rich, and Jay Leslie. (did I win?)

When you call Nani Darnell on the cell phone from a church clergy-laity convention.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 18, 2009 07:50PM)
When you ordered a copy of 'Magic Circus" on DVD simply to see Mark Wilson's egg bag routine (with a child) in the long shot event you decide his routine could be better than the other 5 DVDs you have featuring the egg bag including the Stevens teach in video on the egg bag, the Denny and Lee performance DVD, and several others--- and you currently do not even perform the egg bag! All because someday you "might" want to do it and/or you kinda like the egg bag. Besides that, you already have unused at least three egg bags including the wonderful Welch version of the Malini bag. Yikes! That's magical obsession (and I plead guilty as charged). Not to mention the at least ten fake and/or blown eggs you have purchased previously sitting on your shelf including real, lacquered, wood, sponge and plastic eggs.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 18, 2009 08:17PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-18 18:43, tabman wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-05-17 21:08, jay leslie wrote:.... and mention my name.... It won't get you anything, I just like my name mentioned.
[/quote]

that's a funny line. I hadn't heard it before. Is it your original?? Anyway, very funny!

-=tabman

Yes original - I used to tall people who were going to the Castle to mention my name to the bartender.... ex-cetera.


And Bill.... We always change the names to protect the innocent..... except for Dynamike, who shall remain nameless.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 19, 2009 02:13PM)
I like the mentioning of the name too, Jay. That's a good one. Can I use it? LOL
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 19, 2009 05:23PM)
I can't believe it....... someone is actually asking. go ahead just not on Television or at a convention, or a magic club, or around other magicians, or other comedians, or bartenders and the rest of the others too.

----

Why is it that - Not everyone has the urge to throw out hundreds of dollars for a magician...... but they have no problem calling a plumber, if their drain "backs up".

And how exactly, may I ask, can a drain "back up"? Aren't they stationary?
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 19, 2009 06:08PM)
Now you have me wondering why a drain doesn't beep before it "backs up"?

-=tab
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 19, 2009 06:34PM)
When you can actually make an assocition in your mind between a clogged drain and magic.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 19, 2009 06:42PM)
It's the same exact thing as a clogged "bang wand" but one uses water and the other fire. So as you can see, my comparison uses the most disassociated and far-fetched logic that I could muster, on short notice.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 19, 2009 06:49PM)
When everything that Jay says makes perfect sense to you.
Message: Posted by: HMAC (May 20, 2009 08:01AM)
When you ask the time to people just to see if you can get a hold on their watches.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 20, 2009 08:09AM)
When you decided to join Fr. Photius' prestigious Magic Café-aholics Anonymous Club so you can squeeze in more time with magic.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 20, 2009 10:10AM)
That you always insist doing something at your local Ring meeting because it is your inner hope that you'll eventually see your name in the "Ring Reports" section of The Linking Ring... and thus have a part in kept magic history.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 20, 2009 10:15AM)
That your favorite joke is how the older magician refused to kiss the found talking frog to turn it into a beautiful princess as he'd find more use keeping a talking frog in his pocket...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 20, 2009 10:30AM)
When 5 people are responsible for the majority of the drivel in this thread.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 20, 2009 10:31AM)
When there are 110 magic shops stored in your gps...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 20, 2009 11:13AM)
When you hope to see your name mentioned as one of the magicians that help make the magic industry move.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 20, 2009 03:08PM)
When you become the president of your local club so you can schedule more workshops and be the performer.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 21, 2009 05:54AM)
When you proudly carry around a coin purse, colorful silks, and a chiffon hanky...
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 21, 2009 08:16AM)
When you visit a major city and first go to their largest magic shop, then go through the Yellow Pages and start to check out even the little novelty shops that turn up to be selling only joy buzzers and fake dog poop...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 21, 2009 09:25AM)
When you still wear a "I'm a magician" tag to work every day even after getting repeated warnings from your boss.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 21, 2009 01:22PM)
That you purposely become too "hot" as an excuse to pull out your portable message fan from Rite-Aid so the fan blades can flash some tricky message referencing that you are a talented magician...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 21, 2009 01:44PM)
When you dress up exactly like Mandrake the magician every day.
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 21, 2009 02:06PM)
When you check for new Comedy messages from Father Photius, jay leslie, MagicBus, and JamesTong everyday....

no, wait, make that three times a day.

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 21, 2009 03:17PM)
When someone says "Burning Man", you think of Jeff McBride.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 21, 2009 08:28PM)
When you realize you can leave your house without your pants, but never without props.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 22, 2009 03:05AM)
When you are asked by your wife to buy a big parasol for family use, you came back from the mall with 2 dozens parasols of different color, size and design, and you gave the not so good looking one to your wife so you can hope to use the great looking ones for your performances which are still under construction.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 22, 2009 05:28AM)
You still wear your Doug Henning hippie shirts and bell bottom slacks...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 22, 2009 12:14PM)
When you are pleading to other magicians so you can have permission to copy their acts ... and you want to copy everyone's act so that you can tell everyone that you can performed every magicians act exactly as they perform them and you are so proud of being a copycat magician.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 22, 2009 12:45PM)
Or when you plead with James for permission to copy his balls - every one of them -exactly as they appear on the finest tables.
Message: Posted by: Kevinr (May 22, 2009 12:56PM)
When your wife divorces you because you spend to much money on you magic addiction.

Never happen to me but I have heard of it..
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 22, 2009 01:22PM)
When your magic buddies have to kick you out of their houses every time you are there because you just spend time talking and doing magic and do not know when to stop and how time flies and when you reached home you find yourself kicked out of your own house by your wife because you spend too much time and money on magic.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 22, 2009 01:36PM)
When you are going on vacation with your spouse to Pigeon Forge, and just happens by coincidence to be in August, at the Music Road Hotel where the KIDabra! convention is at during the same time period, and she thinks you are going there to see Dollywood, go hiking in the Smokies, visit the sites, relax, etc.. Pssssst, don't tell her!
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 22, 2009 01:49PM)
You only date girls that can make phone calls and fit in the boxes.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 22, 2009 03:03PM)
When your favorite cup and ball set is still the one that came with your Mark Wilson TV Magic set from the 1950's
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 22, 2009 05:47PM)
When you are eagerly waiting with excitement for the next parcel that will be delivered to you soon.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 22, 2009 07:13PM)
I don't have time to respond, The UPS guy is at the door.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 22, 2009 07:16PM)
(STOP IT, Jay, your killing me. Your timing has been too good lately.)

When the UPS man greets you at the door with "Here is more magic."
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 22, 2009 07:49PM)
And the UPS man looks like Hank Lee.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 22, 2009 09:12PM)
When you look at a menu and it says "pick one" and you think "three of clubs."
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 23, 2009 04:57AM)
When you post your business card everywhere you go...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 23, 2009 11:14AM)
Why did I just find Josephs business card under my windshield wiper.... again?
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 23, 2009 12:22PM)
When you actually keep a written record of the number of times you practice any given move.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 23, 2009 02:43PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-23 13:22, Father Photius wrote:
When you actually keep a written record of the number of times you practice any given move.
[/quote]

(Oh! Oh! Fr. Photius, That is exactly what I do)

When you keep saying to everyone you meet, "We have not met before, right? And there is absolutely no way we have arranged this meeting, is that right? I would like to to say to those wonderful people in the audience that we do not know each other at all, can you do that? Thank you!"
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 23, 2009 03:47PM)
When you look into an audience and can't find anyone that you have not met before.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 23, 2009 04:09PM)
When you keep on pestering Fr. Photius for his latest Thumb Tip routine.
Message: Posted by: BudTCB (May 23, 2009 09:56PM)
When you lay down to go to sleep at night,... instead of counting sheep you count rabbits or doves.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 23, 2009 11:39PM)
When you have 200 pictures of Nancy Lou Arends.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 24, 2009 05:29AM)
When Nancy Lou Arends is the only one in the audience you have not met...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 24, 2009 02:34PM)
Who's Nancy Lou Arends? I don't think I am spending enough time in magic.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 24, 2009 03:21PM)
No... you're spending WAY too much time in magic and that's exactly why you DON'T know her.

You're just playing with your balls a bit much.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 24, 2009 03:25PM)
You got me there, Jay. Good one.

Seriously .... who's Nancy Lou Arends?
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 24, 2009 05:57PM)
How do I google, let me spell the ways. Goo gle - G oogle - Goog le - El goog

I give up.

(Why are we the only people with nothing to do today? Joseph is at his weenie roast. obviously.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (May 24, 2009 06:47PM)
Who is Nancy Lou Google?
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 24, 2009 09:11PM)
The clothes I got back from the cleaner smell like weenie roast smoke...
They need to be googled again...
Message: Posted by: HMAC (May 25, 2009 07:55AM)
When you have nothing better to do than googling Nancy Lou Arends...

But I have not found it. Who is she ?
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 25, 2009 11:58AM)
When you Googled Nancy's name and found nothing but wanted to see how many other people would do the same. Then... you are defiantly spending way too much time with magic AND the computer.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 25, 2009 12:47PM)
(Nancy Lou was always known by her nick name, Nani.)

When you have known her long enough to know that. (Of course she is still a sweet young thing, she doesn't age, just the rest of us get older.)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 25, 2009 01:08PM)
Ahhhhh finally the secret is out .... Nancy Lou Arends is Nani. But who is Nancy Lou Google? Bill, who are she?

We are definitely spending wayyyyyy tooooo much time with magic. Now we want to know whos who. LOL
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 25, 2009 02:02PM)
You are spending way too much time when you have to google every other post to act like you know what end is up.

Incidentally

If you don't know what end is up, please don't come over to my house and eat my soup, I'd be afraid what happens if you burp.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 25, 2009 04:15PM)
(I feel a big burp coming on after eating that soup made by Nancy Lou Google over at Jay's house.)


When you become a founding member of Mark Wilson's Magic University even though you have memorized CCIM, Video Course in Magic, own three Sorcers Apprentice Magic Kits, owned two of the original Mark Wilson TV magic kits, and attended multiple Mark Wilson lectures, plus know that this Mark Wilson isn't a race car driver. (Whew, Jay, that glue is strong stuff!)
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 25, 2009 05:21PM)
When you always take extra time on details so people will buy your collectables a hundred years from now and remark "They don't make it like they used to".

Posted: May 25, 2009 6:23pm
When you wear fancy clothes to the holiday barbecue so you can tell people that you just came from a show.

(Ask Joseph)

Posted: May 25, 2009 6:24pm
When Joseph is the next post because he has been patiently waiting for his name to be mentioned.
Message: Posted by: Larry Bean (May 25, 2009 07:20PM)
When you call 2 reps at the weight lifting machine a double lift.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 25, 2009 10:55PM)
When you kiss your girlfriend in front of your wife, get away with it, and call it an invisible pass.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 26, 2009 01:24PM)
When you try classic palming everything or anything your hands can get hold of?

(Hmmmm I just wonder how I can classic palm Jay's pot of strong glue)
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 26, 2009 04:22PM)
Why is it that......

Sorry, Wrong thread.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 26, 2009 05:41PM)
(Now that has got to be the ultimate proof that Jay knows he is spending too much time with magic)

When you have four filing cabinets of all the instructions that came with every trick you ever bought.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 27, 2009 12:14PM)
When you have 30,000 (thirty thousand) letters written from magician to magician and you have read all of them twice.

And your brain is ready to explode.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 27, 2009 01:05PM)
That you started to cry (due to the artistic beauty of it) when watching Aldo Colombini's Three Ring Symphony routihe.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 27, 2009 01:08PM)
That you keep on cleaning your props and accessories everyday even though you have not use them for any performances.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 27, 2009 01:08PM)
That you are a trial lawyer and you do "Slow Burn" as part of your closing argument to the jury (true story).
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 27, 2009 01:16PM)
When you want to read Jay's 30,000 letters from magician to magician.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 27, 2009 01:58PM)
When you want to find out how Jay spend his time to do so many things such as reading 30,000 letters, posting at the Café, building and selling his props, performing magic shows and sniffing his pot of glue and knowing all the gossips going on around the magic world.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 27, 2009 03:19PM)
When you know who the five principle posters on this thread are.
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 27, 2009 03:35PM)
Oh no!!!

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 27, 2009 07:43PM)
Oh yes!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 27, 2009 09:22PM)
When you just opened an old laptop computer's dvd tray and found a magic video in it.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 28, 2009 02:43AM)
When you are so interested in finding how and where every female magicienne hide their doves ... especially those who are barely dressed on stage.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 28, 2009 09:20AM)
(Don't think I haven't tried to get Celeste to tell me, James)

When you have more books on magic in your office than you do on your field of employment.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 28, 2009 01:39PM)
When you have only a handful of business and marketing book, some 300 other magic books but a few tons of information on everything about Nani?
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 28, 2009 01:43PM)
When you check this thread before coffee in the morning.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 28, 2009 02:02PM)
That you purchased the Colombini cups and balls DVD which uses tissue paper- and instead of practicing the routine with the tissues provided, you just went out and purchased $10 worth of colored tissue paper so you won't run out.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 28, 2009 02:18PM)
When you just want to post something in this thread 3 times a day just before meals.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 28, 2009 02:21PM)
When you wish you had a "trick brain."
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 28, 2009 03:45PM)
When you buy 47 different sizes of magnets....... just in case.

When you're NOT married but you wear a Himber ring anyway.

When you ARE married but you switch your real wedding band for the Himber ring when out of the house.

When you have a girlfriend and give her a promise ring to wear around her neck (Himber) just so you can "borrow" a ring if you're out and about.

When you make arrangements with a jeweler friend to have your Himber ring in his display case so you can take someone in the store and perform an impromptu trick.

When you contemplate ways to put a magnet in your Himber ring so you can do two tricks, in one.

When you type 5 ways to use the Himber ring.
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 28, 2009 06:33PM)
When you collect vinyl lps by The Richard Himber Orchestra.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 28, 2009 07:36PM)
When you keep dried up large tip marking pens because you never know when you might need a "fake" marker for a mentalism routine where you might have to pretend you are writing out something on a "prediction" pad... Ditto for diaper pins- your kids are long gone grown up but you may decide to try to use the pins someday for a linking pins routine... Same for the box of all sized rubber bands... Or you still think that your "7-11" labeled glass bottle and fake that came with your Abbott's "Topsy Turvy" trick 20 years ago still fools audiences (even though you could not find a "7-11" glass pop bottle in the United States)... Or you sign emails using your "Magic" name as your middle name... e.g. John "Magic" Doe... That you still have a rubber dove in your magic room even though you don't do a dove routine and could not have any possible use for it... That you save uncoiled hat coils... Or you saved for your collection Jeff McBride's streamer used in one of his performances that you had to ask the stage manager to not throw out... That you have a spoole of elastic because you never know if someday you'll have to make your own pull... That you have at least two dried up bottles of rubber cement because you thought you would make up your own Clippo's someday but never quite got around to it... That you bought a used placemat at a garage sale because it kinda looks like a closeup pad... That you still don't remember why you bought the box of Domino sugar cubes- might have been for a matrix effect you saw someplace or for a dice roll or a vanishing cube effect... That you actually considered putting needles in your mouth as part of a routine or no longer suffer a gag reflex when you jam a mouth coil or sponge ball in your mouth...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 28, 2009 08:36PM)
I agree with everything but the two dried-up bottles of rubber cement. One is enough.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 28, 2009 10:02PM)
When you actually keep laughing and nodding your head as you read the garbage in this thread.
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 28, 2009 10:40PM)
When you have a degree in Physics but you decide to be a magician instead.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 29, 2009 02:00PM)
When you have to try out every key-pull at the Home Store because you imagine that you can use the inerds to make hundreds of quality reels.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 29, 2009 03:08PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-28 23:02, Father Photius wrote:
When you actually keep laughing and nodding your head as you read the garbage in this thread.
[/quote]

When you agree with another person and join him laughing and nodding and enjoying all the garbage in this thread.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 29, 2009 03:51PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-29 16:08, JamesTong wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-05-28 23:02, Father Photius wrote:
When you actually keep laughing and nodding your head as you read the garbage in this thread.
[/quote]

When you agree with another person and join him laughing and nodding and enjoying all the garbage in this thread.
[/quote]

When you agree with everyone because magic is addictive but this particular thread has no angle problems and won't break under stress, just watch your lighting and make sure your anchor is Coast Guard approved.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 29, 2009 04:10PM)
When you think you have done a very good job entertaining some addicts here.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 29, 2009 05:02PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-28 23:40, tabman wrote:
When you have a degree in Physics but you decide to be a magician instead.
[/quote]

And or when you have degrees in phyics, math, psychology, theology, public administration, healthcare, education, and still are a magician.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 29, 2009 05:03PM)
When you've started a career entertaining the addicts, here.

(Even if this is just a hobby, some of the olympic athletes could take a lesson from our dedication. But then.... is this a hobby? This philosophical question, I'll leave that for "Father PhilosoPhotius" to answer.)
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 29, 2009 05:39PM)
When you can work anchor and Coast Guard Approved into a discussion about magic.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 29, 2009 06:01PM)
When you only use American Dental Association approved floss for your gypsy thread routine.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 29, 2009 06:13PM)
When you take the Kevlar thread out of your Bullet proof vest to use for thread effects after you retire from your government position.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (May 29, 2009 06:18PM)
When you really thought about doing just that! :blush:
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 29, 2009 06:50PM)
When you can actually floss with IT...
Message: Posted by: MattMagician (May 29, 2009 08:09PM)
When you're sleeping on the floor so you have more room for magic stuff on your bed...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 29, 2009 08:33PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-29 21:09, MattMagician wrote:
When you're sleeping on the floor so you have more room for magic stuff on your bed...
[/quote]
(now that definitely is an addict)

When you have 60 -8GB flash drives full of illusion ideas you have come up with.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 30, 2009 05:47AM)
You perform the shirt pull trick on a Hells Angels guy...
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (May 30, 2009 11:16AM)
You do the bra trick on the Pope.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 30, 2009 12:51PM)
When you can't remember whether or not you have already posted a particular "you know when you're spending too much time..." here.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 30, 2009 01:42PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-30 12:16, Bill Ligon wrote:
You do the bra trick on the Pope.
[/quote]

This is really hilarious, Bill. :rotf:

When you cannot stop performing mental effects with the alphabets soup you are drinking/eating during dinner.
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 30, 2009 02:05PM)
You perform brain surgery with your eyes covered with silver dollars, modeling clay and a head wrap.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 30, 2009 06:16PM)
When you have 40 sets of autographed lecture notes in the top drawer of your office desk.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 30, 2009 07:28PM)
You figured out the Hindu Rope Trick...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 30, 2009 09:33PM)
You actually made a set of Siberian chain cuffs.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 31, 2009 05:48AM)
You made a nice looking 'Siberian Chain Set' and have it gold plated.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 31, 2009 06:21AM)
You sit in Jay Leno's audience for a year, hoping he will have a guest magician...
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 31, 2009 11:20AM)
When you change your nickname yourself - to Kuda!
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 31, 2009 12:43PM)
How many Bux... would that cost?
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 31, 2009 12:49PM)
[quote]
On 2009-05-31 13:43, jay leslie wrote:
How many Bux... would that cost?
[/quote]

You know you're spending way too much time with Magic when you know the answer to this question.

Dos, amigo!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 31, 2009 02:15PM)
You are happy to find that you are not the only one spending too much time with magic in this thread.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 31, 2009 04:12PM)
When you have spent months developing a special lubricant for your bill tube.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 31, 2009 04:41PM)
When your hands are bit up from the un-cooperative parakeet...
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 31, 2009 04:42PM)
When you think this is the best thread on the Café!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 31, 2009 04:42PM)
When you make a few hundred balls of all kinds of sizes and colors and designs just for your cups and balls routine.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 31, 2009 07:28PM)
When you use a a 18 inch silk and 2 inch Christmas Tree ornament like a mini Zombie Ball.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (May 31, 2009 08:22PM)
When you can't sit at a table in a restaurant with a straw in front of you without doing flip stick moves.
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 31, 2009 11:45PM)
When you sit through 55 minutes of a one hour program on the Food Network just to catch a glimpse of Max Maven.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Jun 1, 2009 10:12AM)
When you drop the six half-dollars you are edgepalming on the floor of the church during the sermon. And everyone turns and looks at you.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 1, 2009 10:27AM)
(Why do they never drop them when the plate is being passed?)

When you insist on back and front palming your business card before giving it to anyone.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 1, 2009 10:55AM)
When you decide that if Father Photius' church was close by you might go, at least once in a while.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 1, 2009 11:22AM)
That you still enjoy doing "close-up" card tricks even though all your "friends" refuse to invite you to Fechter's Finger Flicking Folic.

Posted: Jun 1, 2009 12:23pm
That you would enroll at "Card College" if you had the opportunity.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Jun 1, 2009 11:35AM)
When you know somebody who calls himself "MagicBus."
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 1, 2009 11:49AM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-01 11:55, tabman wrote:
When you decide that if Father Photius' church was close by you might go, at least once in a while.
[/quote]
(Oh you got it bad, tabman!)

When you can't read a newspaper without thinking of several methods of doing torn and restored newspaper.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 1, 2009 12:58PM)
When you hold a magnet next to every watch, in the department store, just to see what happens.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 1, 2009 01:41PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-01 12:22, MagicBus wrote:
That you still enjoy doing "close-up" card tricks even though all your "friends" refuse to invite you to Fechter's Finger Flicking Folic.
[/quote]

I'm an old FFFFer. Is Obie still running it. I'll give you a nod if this is true.

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 1, 2009 02:39PM)
When you cannot stop igniting flash papers just to get everyone's attention?
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 1, 2009 03:00PM)
OMTAVGXIZCKIWAQNY

... please get rid of 9 alphabets from the above group of alphabets and leave behind 8 alphabets that point to a word that refer to a magician.


If you tried your hand on the game above .... you are spending wayyyy to much time with magic.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 1, 2009 04:39PM)
Nah, thanks Tabby Crabb, I'm not good enough for FFFF, was just a joke, thanks for the kid words. Yep, Obie O'Brien and Joan Caesar of IBM still run it, I heard it is and was still terrific I've heard.

You know you're doing too much magic when you already know what 9 letter English word still remains a common English word, even after removing one letter at a time (the word is "startling" by the way).

When you saw the cover of the June issue of MUM, and saw the picture of Alain Choquette with a paper heart, and immediately thought of another French magician who also uses paper hearts in his close up routine...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 1, 2009 05:31PM)
Yah, I was just joking too!! ;)
Message: Posted by: Donal Chayce (Jun 1, 2009 07:33PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-01 18:31, tabman wrote:
Yah, I was just joking too!! ;)
[/quote]

:rotf:
Well played!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 1, 2009 07:42PM)
When you know that FFFF does not stand for Flying Fickle Finger of Fate.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 1, 2009 08:15PM)
When yoy know that it stands for "Farmers Felonious Faro Fold"
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 1, 2009 09:17PM)
When you know that Jay was 4-F with those eyes.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 1, 2009 10:42PM)
When this thread is the first thing and the last thing you do in the morning and at night.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 2, 2009 07:23AM)
When you wish you had the power and talent to invite your buddies to FFFF.

When you wish it was August as Abbott's so Abbott's has started.

That you subscribe to at least six magic magazines and wish there were more.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 2, 2009 07:25AM)
That you get so excited thinking about Abbott's that you type it twice.
Message: Posted by: Irfaan Kahan (Jun 2, 2009 07:58AM)
When you tenkai everything from your credit card to your coffee mug

When you card spin anything flat from your wallet to your cell phone

When you do the paddle move anything that looks like it will work (I've just done it on an ice cream stick)
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 2, 2009 10:20AM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-01 21:15, jay leslie wrote:
When yoy know that it stands for "Farmers Felonious Faro Fold"
[/quote]
and not Father Fotius' Fingers of Fury?...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 2, 2009 11:44AM)
When you start to take offense if FFFF is used in vain! ;)

[img]http://questx.com/tabmanmagic/ffff.jpg[/img]

And let me add, Obie O'Brien was the best president ever of the IBM.

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 2, 2009 01:42PM)
Obie -good.. If anyone objects, Joseph said he'll arm wrestle you.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 2, 2009 01:56PM)
:)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 2, 2009 02:08PM)
When you spend hours practising the multiplying bowling balls routine and insist that it can be done.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 2, 2009 04:51PM)
When you still politley applaud at a magic convention main stage show when watching someone use the Siberian Chain Escape, or do the Zig-Zag Lady, the Shrinking Head illusion, Strat-O-Spheres, square circle or The Invisible Deck.

Posted: Jun 2, 2009 5:53pm
Whoops, meant politely. When you are worried that your magic friends on The Magic Café who you have never met will think less of you than they do already because you spell incorrectly when posting.
Message: Posted by: Thales (Jun 2, 2009 05:17PM)
When you make a coin disappear and your 4 year old son immediately reached behind his ear to see if it has reappeared there yet.

When you wear your PK ring more often than your wedding band. Where is that wedding band anyway?

When your browser has more magic related bookmarks than all other book marks combined.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 2, 2009 06:53PM)
When you use an egg timer to see how many passes you can do in 3 minutes...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 2, 2009 09:15PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-02 17:53, MagicBus wrote:
Whoops, meant politely. When you are worried that your magic friends on The Magic Café who you have never met will think less of you than they do already because you spell incorrectly when posting.
[/quote]
(Only when you do it in a forum that I'm assigned to)

When you have at least a dozen tricks set up around the house in various stages of being performed so you can practice it impromptu as you pass by it.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 3, 2009 09:36AM)
Or, balls and silks in the silverware drawer!

 
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 3, 2009 11:09AM)
When you can understand Lewis Ganson's explanations in the Dai Vernon series.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 3, 2009 01:00PM)
When you find yourself using your knowledge of illusion and misdirection when you think someone is trying to pull one over on you.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 3, 2009 01:37PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-03 12:09, tabman wrote:
When you can understand Lewis Ganson's explanations in the Dai Vernon series.
[/quote]
This is a good one, tabman.

Posted: Jun 3, 2009 3:51pm
When you keep track on who's online at the magic Café and how much time each person spend reading and posting.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 3, 2009 03:27PM)
When you check a map to see what part of the world James Tong lives in and decide to learn something about the country.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 3, 2009 03:50PM)
When you have 20 sheets of "Proud member of the magic Café" stickers in your desk drawer.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 3, 2009 04:00PM)
When you know that Malaysia has a vibrant magic scene.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 3, 2009 04:03PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-03 16:27, tabman wrote:
When you check a map to see what part of the world James Tong lives in and decide to learn something about the country.
[/quote]

(And then finds out from Fr. Photius that the country exist but James Tong does not exist and that he is just a magic phantom who only lurks at the Café every day)

When you get USPCC to print playing cards with your photo and contact info at the back of the cards and give away the cards that are signed by the audience and hope they will call you one day.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 3, 2009 04:21PM)
When you have actually worn out Michael Ammar's Cups and Balls DVDs.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 3, 2009 04:27PM)
When you have broken all the wands you have trying to imitate Gazzo's cups and balls routine.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 3, 2009 08:36PM)
When after decades of searching you actually found the little trap door in the cups of your cups and balls set.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 3, 2009 09:55PM)
When you actually know which of the three cups has the trap door. (nod to Fr. P)
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 4, 2009 09:19AM)
That you do the Mikame Ghost Ball version of the cups and balls/three card monte because the trap doors are really, really cool.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 4, 2009 09:47AM)
When you really have a trap door in your bathroom.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 4, 2009 12:45PM)
The trap door in your bathroom leads to the trap door to your magic prop room.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Jun 4, 2009 12:53PM)
When your kids are named "Double Lift," Tenkai Palm," and "Elmsley Count."
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 4, 2009 01:41PM)
When you are working out all kinds of methods to levitate your pets even though you know that you will not be performing those routines.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 4, 2009 03:37PM)
When you know absolutely for a fact that this is the smartest group of magicians on the Café.
Message: Posted by: magicians (Jun 4, 2009 05:58PM)
Nuff Said!! Can't even find the trap door.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 4, 2009 06:17PM)
When you know that Walter Blaney is the Texas Ambassador of Good Will.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 4, 2009 07:11PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-04 16:37, tabman wrote:
When you know absolutely for a fact that this is the smartest group of magicians on the Café.
[/quote]

When you use your magic wand to pat yourself on the back.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 4, 2009 07:53PM)
And when you bought a Harry Potter souvenir wand for yourself when nobody was looking.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 4, 2009 08:31PM)
OOOhhhhhh The one that lighst-up on the tip...... or was that an ET finger?
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 4, 2009 09:47PM)
That you can't resist going into Big Lots or Max 10 or some other big deep discount store because you might find on a clothing sale rack a black cuffed shirt with gold dragons or some other outlandish design that looks "magical."
Message: Posted by: magicians (Jun 4, 2009 10:03PM)
Your wife has to check pennies, halves, to make sure they're no penny and dimes or scotch and soda spent at the laundry mat or the toll booth.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 4, 2009 10:45PM)
When you can say you actually spent an evening sharpening dart tips on flowers.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 5, 2009 12:46AM)
When you spend days or weeks re-decorating your props with a new coat of paint just because you like to have them look different now and then.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 5, 2009 10:18AM)
When you try to get one last quip in before shutting down for the weekend.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 5, 2009 11:15AM)
When you enjoy posting on this thread alone even though you know everyone has gone off for their weekend.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 5, 2009 11:15AM)
Who's gone?

When you set up a table at a swap meet and bring more stuff home then you took.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 5, 2009 11:22AM)
When you are known as the magic shopaholic because you always rush to be the first to arrive at a swap meet so you can buy off everything even before the meeting started.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 5, 2009 11:55AM)
When you bought sooooo much that you ask your friend to put some in his car too.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 5, 2009 12:41PM)
When you keep wishing you could attend every magic convention organised all round the world.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 5, 2009 12:43PM)
When you join the Magic Castle even though you live thousands of miles away from Hollywood.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 5, 2009 01:21PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-05 13:43, tabman wrote:
When you join the Magic Castle even though you live thousands of miles away from Hollywood.
[/quote]

You hit it right on the nail, tabman. For the many who are thousands of miles away from Hollywood.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 5, 2009 01:34PM)
Better yet

When you're a member and drive 6 different routes at different times of the day (and different days of the week) to see what route is the fastest.... Then you go in the afternoon (when the traffic is dead anyway) and donate time to repair things and none of it matters, you're staying till 1 am.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 5, 2009 01:50PM)
When you spend every waking hour in Vegas watching magic shows, visiting magic shops, buying props and spending time with magicians and when you reached back the hotel you found out that you totally forgot where you left your wife.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 5, 2009 02:04PM)
When you make the UPS driver wait at your door so you can read what James just wrote.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 5, 2009 02:08PM)
(As for the last 8 posts, why are you guys following me around and documenting my life?)


When you have 200 mini cd's of photos you took of other people's magic props.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 5, 2009 02:20PM)
This could be the topper -

When no woman will marry you because you are already married to your magic.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 5, 2009 02:22PM)
Thus the real Magician's motto - FFFF.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 5, 2009 02:32PM)
That you can't wait to see what Creative Magic has done with a force bag...

Posted: Jun 5, 2009 3:34pm
That you have considered buying The Gecko even though you don't do close up, you already have at least 5 pulls including the pill container attached to an elastic band, and a Raven.

Posted: Jun 5, 2009 3:36pm
That you wonder if your own demise will make into the Broken Wand section of The Linking Ring...

Posted: Jun 5, 2009 3:37pm
That you know the name of the College Dale Salwak was/is a professor at.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 5, 2009 02:43PM)
That you know 4 versions of the 21 card trick
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 5, 2009 02:51PM)
That you can't understand why you do so many postings to The Magic Café.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 5, 2009 03:07PM)
That you CAN understand but would prefer to leave all your "baggage" on the psychiatrists couch.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 5, 2009 03:14PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-05 16:07, jay leslie wrote:
That you CAN understand but would prefer to leave all your "baggage" on the psychiatrists couch.
[/quote]

Can the couch take the weight of my roll on table?
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Jun 5, 2009 03:24PM)
[quote]When no woman will marry you because you are already married to your magic.[/quote]

When you're so involved with magic you don't even notice women.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 5, 2009 03:25PM)
Quote from James "Can the couch take the weight of my roll on table?"


No, but it's a great place to sit and apply your roll on deodorant.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 5, 2009 03:31PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-05 16:24, Bill Ligon wrote:
[quote]When no woman will marry you because you are already married to your magic.[/quote]

When you're so involved with magic you don't even notice women.
[/quote]

... what women ... what are they .... who are they ... is that the latest release from Stevens Magic Emporium?
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 5, 2009 04:15PM)
When you rush to open an email from Daryl hoping to get the special before it is gone.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 5, 2009 05:01PM)
When you knew Daryl as a demonstrator at Russell's magic shop.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 5, 2009 08:51PM)
When you move to a marina with Wi-Fi so you can sign in to the Café from the cabin of your boat.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 5, 2009 09:45PM)
When you knew Mark Wilson as a demonstrator at Douglas Magicland.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 5, 2009 10:11PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-05 22:45, Father Photius wrote:
When you knew Mark Wilson as a demonstrator at Douglas Magicland.
[/quote]

Magicland is a great memory. Thanks for the jog.

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: nachotuoni (Jun 6, 2009 01:20AM)
When you stop spending your money, coins or bills just because anytime they'll work for making magic.
When you enter a magic shop and you want to live there.
When the magic shop owner has to kick you out.
When you receive 10 calls asking for your presence at home when you are at the magic shop.
When you go to a new city and you just want to visit the magic shops, not the city.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 6, 2009 01:48AM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-06 02:20, nachotuoni wrote:
When you enter a magic shop and you want to live there.
[/quote]

That's the best I have read. Thanks for the good laugh.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 6, 2009 05:59AM)
You get irritated because Sankey hasn't released an effect in over a week...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 6, 2009 07:53AM)
You would wake up in the middle of the night and try out the egg bag routine that was just in your dream.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 6, 2009 10:32AM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-06 02:20, nachotuoni wrote:
When you stop spending your money, coins or bills just because anytime they'll work for making magic.
When you enter a magic shop and you want to live there.
When the magic shop owner has to kick you out.
When you receive 10 calls asking for your presence at home when you are at the magic shop.
When you go to a new city and you just want to visit the magic shops, not the city.
[/quote]

May I inject a comment here, as someone who grew up in the magic business and practically lives at his store,
The grass is always greener when you use Scotts Turf Builder.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 6, 2009 12:38PM)
When you own one egg bag but 16 eggs to use in it.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 6, 2009 01:55PM)
When you owned 12 different egg bag versions but only 1 silly looking egg to go with them.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 6, 2009 04:08PM)
When you own 9 different versions of silk to egg.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 6, 2009 05:52PM)
When you know Dai Vernon's real name.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 6, 2009 06:06PM)
When you wear your convention name tag for the next 2 weeks after it's over...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 6, 2009 06:12PM)
When you measure the passing of they year by which convention just ended and which convention is next.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 6, 2009 07:22PM)
When you read anything with the word, [i]Magic[/i], in the title.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 6, 2009 09:58PM)
When you actually enjoy tracking Kyle Peron's performances on Facebook.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 7, 2009 05:49AM)
You memorized the script to The Prestige...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 7, 2009 01:57PM)
When you are almost succeeding in talking and gesturing exactly like Fr. Photius.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 7, 2009 03:10PM)
When you try to use a real chicken for the climax to the egg bag
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 7, 2009 03:13PM)
When you are running out of idea to post in this thread but just keep coming back here at least once a day.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 7, 2009 04:34PM)
When you know that JamesTong will never run out of ideas and will come back more than once a day.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 7, 2009 07:59PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-07 14:57, JamesTong wrote:
When you are almost succeeding in talking and gesturing exactly like Fr. Photius.
[/quote]
(Wow! That means you talk and gesture exactly like Mark Wilson!)

When you have read Bev Bergeron's "Williard the Wizzard" so many times you not only have it memorized, you have it memorized by page and line."
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 8, 2009 01:59PM)
When you keep buying the same books over and over because you want to make sure you have them all.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 8, 2009 03:58PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-07 20:59, Father Photius wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-06-07 14:57, JamesTong wrote:
When you are almost succeeding in talking and gesturing exactly like Fr. Photius.
[/quote]
(Wow! That means you talk and gesture exactly like Mark Wilson!)
[/quote]

(I am taking voice control lessons so I can talk exactly like Nani too)

When you start looking around in shopping malls for all kind of cool looking sunglasses so you can be as cool as tabman and the big difference is you do not even know how to make a simple magic wand. So you end up buying all kinds of magic wands and then wear the sunglasses holding a bunch of magic wands for your portrait photos so other magicians will think you look even more kooler than tabman. And to top it all, you went to David and Dania to learn the costume change so you can look like tabman one minute and Fr. Photius the next minute. And with that new found fantasy you went to compete against Susan Boyle in 'Britain Got Talents' contest.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 8, 2009 04:18PM)
When you know where all the typos are in all three volumes of Art of Astonishment.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 8, 2009 04:28PM)
When you know every cup made by their respective makers and exactly who bought the cups and who re-sold them later and which cups went on ebay and other auction sites and who bought them and resold them again.

Posted: Jun 8, 2009 5:35pm
When you are about to leave for your performance but cannot control the urge to post one more time in this thread.

Posted: Jun 8, 2009 5:36pm
When you cannot resist the urge to post one more time after that one post.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 8, 2009 07:08PM)
[quote]....When you start looking around in shopping malls for all kind of cool looking sunglasses so you can be as cool as tabman and the big difference is you do not even know how to make a simple magic wand. So you end up buying all kinds of magic wands and then wear the sunglasses holding a bunch of magic wands for your portrait photos so other magicians will think you look even more kooler than tabman. And to top it all, you went to David and Dania to learn the costume change so you can look like tabman one minute and Fr. Photius the next minute. And with that new found fantasy you went to compete against Susan Boyle in 'Britain Got Talents' contest.
[/quote]

Holey Sh**
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 8, 2009 07:10PM)
When you think looking like Fr. Photius will help you in a competition against Susan Boyle (in either singing talent or appearance.)
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 8, 2009 08:43PM)
When you know Jeff Busby's former wife.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 8, 2009 08:59PM)
When you pay for your Magic Castle membership, and then leave for home 2000 miles away...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 8, 2009 10:57PM)
When you actually tried to figure out how to watch the Fiber Optics DVD backwards.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 9, 2009 12:53PM)
When you write every IBM ring telling them, you want to see their reports
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 9, 2009 01:35PM)
When you write to every magic clubs (IBM, SAM, PCAM, etc) to find out exactly how many menbers they have in each ring.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 9, 2009 01:58PM)
When you know too many secrets about way too many magicians.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 9, 2009 02:01PM)
When you spent $30 last night at the excellent Keith Fields lecture to purchase an entire sponge ball/clown/Devil's napkin routine from him when all you really will probably end up using is the special sponge ball shell that came with the trick...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 9, 2009 02:29PM)
When you start collecting junks (scrap metals, wood, plastics, etc) from all over the place and hope that one day you can turn them into special magic props or accessories. And that day never turn up and your wife starts reminding you whether you are really a magician or just a scrap/junk collector because the junks are taking more space than the magic items in your house.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 9, 2009 02:38PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-09 15:29, JamesTong wrote:
When you start collecting junks (scrap metals, wood, plastics, etc) from all over the place and hope that one day you can turn them into special magic props or accessories. [/quote]

When you recognize the final stages of magic obsession and don't want to reveal what's coming next.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 9, 2009 02:49PM)
When you stop by to watch a local magician perform and he has a one page printed flyer done on cheap copy paper which thanks the local organization for hiring him,... yet you feel compelled to save that "flier" and put it in your boxes of saved magic "literature."
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 9, 2009 03:01PM)
When you have a proud collection of magic DVDs but spend more time watching magic clips from You Tube.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 9, 2009 03:39PM)
When you feel compelled to make your own magic videos and post them on YouTube.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 9, 2009 04:18PM)
That you have a collection of miniature half and half/cream containers from restaurants as they remind you of Fakini thimbles...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 9, 2009 04:51PM)
You spend more than 12 hours per week in Hobby Lobby looking for magic ideas...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 9, 2009 05:20PM)
When you know what mouse tape is and its principle use in magic.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 9, 2009 06:11PM)
That you considered purchasing reels from a fishing shop ... that you don't hide the fact from your wife that you own a stripper deck... that you know a chop cup has nothing to do with cooking... that you wish paddle moves were used in the public schools... that you know what a spellbound switch is and a horizontal palm... that you know that at the M&M Café you receive a billet at the end of the meal.., that you know what the initials in FAB Magic stand for... that you know what magician produces a full sized Amtrak train engine as part of his act... that the Fall season reminds you of color changes- with cards... that you have a bunch of cheese graters just so you can say the 'next is my greater illusion" line... that you know how to do impressions with a standard corkscrew (Mark Spitz/Michael Phelps, Dorothy Hamil, the Exorcist, and a person being held up in the park)... that you once asked the guy in the meat department of a super market if he'd consider selling the fake hotdogs hanging from the deli overhead sign... that your well has nothing to do with water or black art with painting... that you read ever word of email Denny's advertisements...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 9, 2009 06:17PM)
That you're still posting even though you have food poisoning from the saturday afternoon party.

MB "Fall Season" reminds me of using the Sub Trunk for summer concerts.
Message: Posted by: MagikDavid (Jun 9, 2009 09:49PM)
When your wife wakes you in the middle of the night and says, "Honey, I just heard a mouse squeaking!" ... and you say, "Darn it. I've been meaning to oil that hinge on the sub-trunk."
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 10, 2009 05:04AM)
When your wife is wondering why all her bras are attached with two silks.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 10, 2009 05:10AM)
When at breakfast, you try linking your Cheerios before you eat them...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 10, 2009 06:59AM)
When you are fixing 15 more pockets within the pockets in all your trousers.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 10, 2009 10:17AM)
When you have made an act called "tricks they never should have made" which can only be presented to magicians (Already presented 3 times, once at the IBM convention in san Diego) but no one other then a magician would have the faintest idea what your talking about and magicians hoot and holler.

(Hoot and holler I mean "Dis da tricks")
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 10, 2009 10:54AM)
When it is 1 A.M. and you are exchanging emails with Nani.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 10, 2009 12:07PM)
When you set up an auto alarm telling you someone has just posted at the Café.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 10, 2009 12:55PM)
When you can remember the first trick you ever saw, and the last.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 10, 2009 02:00PM)
When you have so much stuff you need a catalog to remember what it is and a filing system to find it.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 10, 2009 03:28PM)
When you can remember all the versions of each effects you have learnt.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 10, 2009 03:56PM)
When you have an astrosphere vanishing box sitting on your large format printer stand.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 10, 2009 04:18PM)
When you cannot stop making friends with everyone that is posting at the Café forum.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 10, 2009 05:06PM)
When you aspire to be heralded, in lands far and near as Dynamikes successor.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 10, 2009 05:47PM)
Your PK ring has ruined the working strip on at least five debit or credit cards.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 10, 2009 05:53PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-10 18:47, MagicBus wrote:
Your PK ring has ruined the working strip on at least five debit or credit cards.
[/quote]

Five Stars *****

When you drive to NYC and stay overnight spending hundreds just to visit the locations of several closed magic shops from "the day."
Message: Posted by: Donal Chayce (Jun 10, 2009 05:59PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-10 11:54, Father Photius wrote:
When it is 1 A.M. and you are exchanging emails with Nani.
[/quote]

Name dropper! ;)
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 10, 2009 06:08PM)
Greetings

I am assuming that you are unaware of the number of times this has happened. We quit keeping track. As such, may we all join in a minute of "hello" (as opposed to silence) to the new guy on this post.

From now on please expect major name dropping to occur at least every 23rd post.

You have been warned. Continue at your own Risk or Monopoly or even Shoots and Ladders.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 10, 2009 07:05PM)
That Neil Foster used to watch out for you when you were a little kid (your Dad would drop you off in Colon for the Get-Together, give Neil a bottle of vintage wine, and take off, and let you sleep on a couch across the street from Abbott's). That you saw Peter Bouton sitting on a chair in the Abbott's showroom. That you visited Dennis Loomis's house when he was living in Kalamazoo. That you stood in line with Teller waiting to get into a show in Vegas (not his). That Mac King's mother asked your wife if she enjoyed her son's show. That you own some of Gay Blackstone's jewelry but never wear it (don't want to lose it). That you have had your picture taken with as many magicians as possible, even though none of them have a clue who you are. That your brother shot your "publicity" photo in his back yard using his 35mm camera. That you use royalty free music because you never know someday if you'll be on tv (fat chance). That you've outgrown at least four magic vests as you pack on the pounds over the years, yet still think you look "magical." That you love dropping trivia about famous magicians or props even though you have no real connection to either. That you have lost the paper jacket covers to some of your hard bound magic books because you removed the covers when you originally purchased them in order to not damage the covers. That you have at least five easels of all different sizes and shapes as you never know when you might need one to display something. That you have had wet sponge balls in your mouth. That you have tried to iron a silk. That you know now that you should never iron a silk. That you had less than $10 in your pocket to live on for the rest of the day, spent $8 on magic, and spent the remaining $2 for a hotdog and a cup of water. That you've considered sleeping in your car to have more money to spend at a magic convention. That you've worn a long sleeve black buttoned shirt and long pants in the swelter of an Abbott's Saturday night show because you wanted to look cool. hat you eat at the M & M Café or the Colon pizzeria hoping some famous magician will walk in that already has his picture on the wall. That you are not tempted to take any of the coins off of Blackstone's grave. That you still remember the song Monk Watson always used during his conductor routine. That you asked for a demonstration of "Dean's Box" at Houdini Magic just to see it performed even though you had no intention of ever buying it there because you already know the online price directly from Dean is so much cheaper. That you've looked at the Houdini autographs at the Houdini magic shop in Vegas on at least five different occasions. That you've had Denny remove at least 10 plastic wrapped sealed covers from his hard bound books for sale because you really wanted to look at them (and had the money to maybe buy one of them). That you nearly cried when your Norm Nielson signed poster got bent up by the airlines. That you've looked up the legal cases handled by Rich Bloch. That you've shopped, and saw Michael Finney there, at the folding tables set up near Colon High School before the evening shows. That you own at least one polo style shirt worn by employees only of a local magic shop (and you are not an employee). That you have hung feather flowers upside down. AND That you can't stop coming up with more of these...
Message: Posted by: Donal Chayce (Jun 10, 2009 07:08PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-10 19:08, jay leslie wrote:
Greetings

I am assuming that you are unaware of the number of times this has happened. We quit keeping track. As such, may we all join in a minute of "hello" (as opposed to silence) to the new guy on this post.

From now on please expect major name dropping to occur at least every 23rd post.

You have been warned. Continue at your own Risk or Monopoly or even Shoots and Ladders.
[/quote]

Obviously, you don't have a Clue. As a point of information, that was actually my third post in this thread, but no one sent me their greetings when I made the other two, so thanks!
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 10, 2009 07:25PM)
Gee I made it 20 days before someone insulted me. I was having fun but, oh well, I can always go back to work. I thought at least on this thread, people didn't have to take every word so seriously, but It looks like I was wrong.

Later.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 10, 2009 07:34PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-10 18:59, Donal Chayce wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-06-10 11:54, Father Photius wrote:
When it is 1 A.M. and you are exchanging emails with Nani.
[/quote]

Name dropper! ;)
[/quote]

Ah, but what a name!! :)

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 10, 2009 07:41PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-10 20:25, jay leslie wrote:
Gee I made it 20 days before someone insulted me. ...[/quote]

I noticed that. It kind of bothered me too but its almost expected so I just let it blow by but of course it was aimed at you. This thread has been pretty mellow and I've been enjoying that aspect of it too. It has been fun and I've enjoyed quipping with you and the others.

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 10, 2009 08:00PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-10 20:25, jay leslie wrote:
Gee I made it 20 days before someone insulted me. I was having fun but, oh well, I can always go back to work. I thought at least on this thread, people didn't have to take every word so seriously, but It looks like I was wrong.

Later.
[/quote]

(Darn, and I wasn't the one to get to do it!)

When you own two digital cameras and one is dedicated solely to magic.
Message: Posted by: Donal Chayce (Jun 10, 2009 08:59PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-10 20:25, jay leslie wrote:
Gee I made it 20 days before someone insulted me. I was having fun but, oh well, I can always go back to work. I thought at least on this thread, people didn't have to take every word so seriously, but It looks like I was wrong.

Later.
[/quote]

Jay, I wasn't insulting you, I was playing off of the "Risk, Monopoly and Shoots (Chutes) and Ladders" joke in your post to me. That's why I capitalized the word "Clue"--I assumed you'd get the reference and the return joke.

No offense was intended--quite the contrary.

:verysad: This is a good example of why attempting to communicate anything other than facts and figures over the Internet is a crapshoot at best.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 10, 2009 09:07PM)
You are the only one wearing an Ask Alexander tee-shirt at Sunday services...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 10, 2009 09:35PM)
When you have magnets sewn into the bottom seams of all your black shirts.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 11, 2009 12:46PM)
When you followed Jay's ultimate method of needle through balloon and your jumbo needle went right through the balloon through your fingers through to the elbow and you were wondering what happened.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 11, 2009 01:37PM)
When you know the four most important words to a magician.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 11, 2009 01:45PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-11 14:37, tabman wrote:
When you know the four most important words to a magician.
[/quote]

Unfortunately I do not know what the four most important words are, tabman. May I know what they are? (Serious)
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 11, 2009 06:51PM)
That you've submitted a proposed column to John Sturk (Editor of The Newest TOPS) hoping and dreaming that he'll see fit to use it... That you have at least one tatoo that is magic related... That you had your tatoo artist (Raven) do a special drawing or you for your Newest TOPS submission... That you know if your Genii or Linking Ring or MUM or KIDabra! or Christian Conjurer magazines are not being delivered on time... That your business office waiting room has lots of magical references in it... That you wish Doogie Houser, George Castanza, Judge Stone, etc.. would all get together for a celebrity magic show... That your favorite song is "Magic Man" by Heart... That you will be attending at least three magic conventions in June, July and August.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 11, 2009 07:42PM)
When you know that I learned them from Doc Eason. GTFM. Get The ******* Money.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 11, 2009 08:28PM)
You are the only one at Home Depot buying lumber for an illusion...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 11, 2009 10:54PM)
When you know someone who has used a pair of pantyhose they were wearing to ditch or steal a prop.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 12, 2009 01:22PM)
When you spend brain power trying to think of ways to tie a fart machine into a magic routine.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 12, 2009 01:36PM)
When your wife finds you mutilating her expensive pantyhose so you can save money on invisible threads.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 12, 2009 02:40PM)
When you are wandering through an antique mall and pick up some obsolete object manufactured in the 40's and think...now with a little black felt and....."
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 12, 2009 02:58PM)
When you found a new hobby collecting photos of cups owned by cups and balls collectors.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 12, 2009 05:36PM)
When you are emailing someone who is not into magic, and they have asked how you liked the magic convention, and instead of saying you had a good time you write 14 pages of details about the convention.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 13, 2009 12:04AM)
When you cannot discribe anything about magic in one or two sentences but have to do it with 25 pages.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 13, 2009 08:21AM)
When your "My favorite places" on American Online has over 100 magic web sites... and about 10 non-magic web sites.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 13, 2009 08:42AM)
When the new demo you watched has to be real magic, so you buy it...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 13, 2009 10:48AM)
When you watch postings of lectures for any coming within 6 hours of you.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 13, 2009 12:34PM)
When your calender is marked with all kinds of magic happenings all round the world.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 13, 2009 12:43PM)
You have 100 dvds of Youtube magic demos...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 13, 2009 01:17PM)
When you have over 40 folders on your hard drive dedicated to magic.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 13, 2009 01:26PM)
When 99% of what is in my computer is dedicated to magic and the balance of the 1% is only dedicated to conjuring.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 13, 2009 01:40PM)
(You got it bad , James)

When you have four drawers full of coin gaffs.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 13, 2009 01:46PM)
When you keep buying gaff cards because you think they will come in handy one day. And when that one fine day arrive you do not even know what those gaff cards are for.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 13, 2009 02:17PM)
Cost of all your gaff coin sets = One 2008 Corvette... :cry: ...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 13, 2009 02:37PM)
When you have complete collections of all coin gaffs made and sold by every coin maker and magic shop and you are still sending coins from different countries to coin makers to be converted to gaffs.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 13, 2009 04:36PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-13 15:17, joseph wrote:
Cost of all your gaff coin sets = One 2008 Corvette... :cry: ...
[/quote]
(Closer to a Ferrari)

When you deliberately eat lunch at places you know other magicians to hang out at hopping to run into one or two.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 13, 2009 06:51PM)
When you make fun of the magic shows on tv, and realize you are doing the same tricks they are...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 13, 2009 07:30PM)
When you have Stevens Magic on speed dial.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 14, 2009 06:20AM)
Your favorite basketball team is the Orlando Magic...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 14, 2009 09:08AM)
When your only friend is another magician.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Jun 14, 2009 12:11PM)
When you find yourself asking for help to make a [i]thimble routine[/i] funny!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 14, 2009 12:22PM)
When you find yourself helping someone make their thimble routine funny.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 14, 2009 01:04PM)
When you are the only man in the Hobby Lobby sewing aisle looking for thimbles...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 14, 2009 01:17PM)
When you get so excited talking about magic with newbies as much as you are talking to hardcore professionals.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 14, 2009 04:54PM)
When your in a store and a sales person asks if they can assist you and you immediately think, "No you will never fit into my thin model sawing".
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 14, 2009 06:06PM)
When you are the only man in the Hobby Lobby sewing aisle looking for thread that you can pull out of your eye...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 14, 2009 08:26PM)
When you look at bed sheets and think "follard".
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 15, 2009 03:42AM)
When you start practicing flourishes with all kind of objects and hope to come out with a book on it.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 15, 2009 11:28AM)
When you have actually done research into the origin of woofle dust.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 15, 2009 02:46PM)
When you have a few hundred terrabytes of magic info in your hard disks.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 15, 2009 03:12PM)
When you question whether you can actually spend too much time with Magic and your Magic friends.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 15, 2009 03:15PM)
When you just cannot have enough of magic.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 15, 2009 03:19PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-15 16:15, JamesTong wrote:
When you just cannot have enough of magic.
[/quote]

When you Totally agree with the above statement!!!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 15, 2009 04:54PM)
When you know all the words to Ali Bongo's "Just a little bit of Magic".
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Jun 15, 2009 06:04PM)
When you make the Brussels sprouts disappear from your plate without eating them.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 15, 2009 06:24PM)
When you move somewhere where the personalized license plate "Magic" is still available...
Message: Posted by: John Long (Jun 15, 2009 06:44PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-15 19:04, Bill Ligon wrote:
When you make the Brussels sprouts disappear from your plate without eating them.
[/quote]

Now I wish I knew that trick when I was a little kid!
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 15, 2009 06:59PM)
When your stage name "Magic Bus" far predates Magic Johnson, The Magic Bus by The Who, and all the bus lines and kiddie books that now feature "The Magic Bus." When you, like most magicians, trustingly and obviously forgot to patent or copywrite any magic ideas, capture or save any original web site addresses, or save any trade names including any old designs or stage personas. Yikes! When if you did any of the above, you'd be spending a small fortune each year!

When your favorite part of the Phantom of the Opera is when the sparks shoot off the Phantom's staff or when he appears in the mirror to Christine.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 15, 2009 07:23PM)
When the mailman gives you a dirty look when he delivers the monthly supply of magic magazines and catalogs.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 15, 2009 07:48PM)
When you can't walk around in your basement because of the piles of magic stuff all over the place- a tornado would be neater.

Posted: Jun 15, 2009 8:50pm
When you dropped everything and read your copy of "ADVANCE" issue number 6 that arrived in the mail today. That you considered buying the Double Silk Load Genii Tube advertised in ADVANCE even though you already own a single silk load Genii tube.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 15, 2009 09:02PM)
When someone asks you about one particular routine of Mark Wilson and you know exactly which episode of Allakazam it is on.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 15, 2009 09:16PM)
That you had your Dad drive you as a kid over 3 hours to the Michigan State Fair in Detroit to see Mark Wilson perform. That you when you see the Dough Boy, you think of Mark Wilson.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 15, 2009 09:26PM)
When you still refuse to wash the hand that Nani Darnell touched in that grocery store parking lot back in the 1950's when she gave you your magic wand and buddha paper trick you got for proving you bought a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper and a package of Neuhauff franks.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 16, 2009 05:17AM)
You still carry the Rebo the clown autographed picture in your wallet...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 16, 2009 01:55PM)
When your car has no space to carry any passengers at all and all the space is packed full of magic stuffs.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 16, 2009 01:59PM)
When you know Homer Hudson.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 16, 2009 03:09PM)
When you can actually say you watched Ted Quan nearly impale Trixie Dodson Bond on that sword suspension.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 16, 2009 07:31PM)
That you saw Jack Gwynne perform live the trick that is now etched into his tombstone.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 16, 2009 07:34PM)
That you know the name of the non-magic magazine Bob Lund used to edit.

Posted: Jun 16, 2009 8:41pm
That you have been in the basement of the library of The American Museum of Magic. And in the basement at Abbott's. Or paid for Andre' Kole's dinner. Or absolutley love ridiculously obscure magic name dropping...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 16, 2009 08:01PM)
That you might elude to AK as being an obscure magic name, which makes mine completely moot and unmentionable.



Jay (don't mention it) Hoffman Leslie
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 16, 2009 08:27PM)
When you know the name of the TV show that Lou Derman used to write for that involved an animal act.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 16, 2009 09:22PM)
When you know the names of all he band members that Richard Himber played with.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 16, 2009 10:14PM)
When you still have an original key-r-ect.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 16, 2009 10:42PM)
When you have a picture of Lou and Francis; autographed!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 17, 2009 02:23AM)
When you do not know who the guys those guys above were mentioning eventhough you have all kind of info about magic.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 17, 2009 05:16AM)
When you go to Abbott's just to hear the floor squeak...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 17, 2009 05:31AM)
When you cannot stop making different versions or designs of the same prop.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 17, 2009 10:46AM)
That you saw Kreskin do live many years ago his version of Key-r-ect. Yep, he did it in his stage show.

Posted: Jun 17, 2009 11:47am
That Mr. Ed was mild compared to the great magic columns written by Lou Derman.

Posted: Jun 17, 2009 11:50am
That you remember what kind of magic stand Hank Moorehouse uses (a neat little cube one). That you know who currently claims he is the world's oldest escape artist.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 17, 2009 01:51PM)
When you know the name of the column and the name of the magazaine that Lou Derman wrote in.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 17, 2009 02:36PM)
When I do not know what the above 3 posts are talking about but I want to know more.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 17, 2009 02:48PM)
When Nani sends you a note and reminds you of the parts of her full maiden name you left out.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 17, 2009 03:35PM)
When you have several thousands of magician's business cards from all round the world but forgot to print your own.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 17, 2009 04:20PM)
When you organize your office so the 1200 + samples in your wall-case are by manufacturer, then the next year you arrange them by type, then the next year you sort them by shape and the next year you place them by age and finally you have them in two categories 1, with the box & 2, without the box but you still "eye" them every so often.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 17, 2009 05:20PM)
When you dig through your garage and discover a whole case of fanning powder.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 17, 2009 07:54PM)
When you have a copy of Johnny Carson performing magic on Beta tape...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 17, 2009 07:56PM)
When you can remember magician's clothesline as a "new trick".
Message: Posted by: Larry Bean (Jun 17, 2009 08:10PM)
When you sign up for High Definition Television on Direct TV so that you can see the TV magicians better.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 17, 2009 08:18PM)
When you go to the muffler shop in the hopes they can make you a jumbo die tube.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 17, 2009 08:18PM)
The final ball bearing loads in your pockets make your pants fall down...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 17, 2009 09:32PM)
When you don't own a suit coat that does not have a topit in it.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 18, 2009 07:30AM)
When you knew who the [i]Masked Magician[/i] was before anyone else.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 18, 2009 10:48AM)
When you have three follards for the Bill tube but only one bill tube.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 18, 2009 10:50AM)
(I wouldn't admit to that if it was me.)


When you start measuring your walls in the hopes of building secret passage ways.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 18, 2009 12:06PM)
When you finally realize that there's nothing new under the sun and get serious about perfecting a good 15 minute act using all the old stuff.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 18, 2009 12:38PM)
When you found out that all your new stuffs were actually old stuffs and the latest stuffs were even older stuffs in disguise.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 18, 2009 01:40PM)
When you completely understand the afore mentioned [i]When[/i].
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 18, 2009 02:59PM)
When you are smart enough to go into the magic shop and ask "What's old".
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 18, 2009 04:23PM)
When you realized that the oldies are valuable gems you now spend more time looking for anything old.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 18, 2009 07:01PM)
When you have a Houdini King of Cards bedspread...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 18, 2009 07:17PM)
I don't have a heart it say it but I guess you lay on your Ace. You are now in the club, If you keep up with these puns you're going to die-man. So pack it in and hit the deck, I'm sure someone else will wand-er in with another quip, be it sooo sleight.

I apologize in advance for the dicey stuff you just read.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 18, 2009 09:27PM)
When you don't care about losing your marbles, but worry about losing your gaffed coins and cards.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 18, 2009 09:32PM)
When you've lost your marbles and agree with Father Photius' quips
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 18, 2009 10:06PM)
When you own a top hat, cape, and cane and never go to the opera.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 18, 2009 10:42PM)
When you nudge your wife in bed late at night only to ask her to hand you the copy of [i]The Vernon Touch[/i] on the night stand next to her side of the bed.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 19, 2009 01:15PM)
When you are always invited to attend your magicians' friends' birthday party but only with a condition that you don't perform the 30 minutes ACR trick.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 19, 2009 02:21PM)
When you sit in the dark to practice controlling cards, just to make sure you don't look at your hands.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 19, 2009 02:25PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-18 23:06, Father Photius wrote:
When you own a top hat, cape, and cane and never go to the opera.
[/quote]

So far that's the funniest one you've come up with

Or you own all that stuff and it's not a Halloween costume.
- - - - -

I was walking up a driveway for a Halloween show, and a lady looked at me with a puzzled look then a crooked smile. (try it) I barked in the affirmative "I can read your mind!!!... You are thinking that you are only wearing your costume today but that I were mine all year long". She was amazed, said "How did you know?". I responded "You couldn't be thinking anything else."

I learned in a psychology class that if you make the same face someone else is making (this is subjectively cultural) that you can experience the same emotion they are feeling. This bit of cold-reading technique is worth it's weight in platinum. Some hypnotists use this technique to mirror weather a subject is under and some clinical psychologists use it to better understand the patient when they speak.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 19, 2009 02:34PM)
When you start collecting magic costumes and accessories.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 19, 2009 02:49PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-19 15:25, jay leslie wrote:
I learned in a psychology class that if you make the same face someone else is making (this is subjectively cultural) that you can experience the same emotion they are feeling. This bit of cold-reading technique is worth it's weight in platinum. Some hypnotists use this technique to mirror weather a subject is under and some clinical psychologists use it to better understand the patient when they speak.
[/quote]

When you doubt most of what you see and all of what you hear.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 19, 2009 03:13PM)
In this case it's true.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 19, 2009 03:49PM)
When the waistband on your underwear says "Allakazam" instead of "jockey jr."
Message: Posted by: Kontents (Jun 19, 2009 03:54PM)
When you loose your wallet and tell yourself you made it vanish, but your just not good enough to bring it back yet...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 19, 2009 05:57PM)
When you have secret pockets sewen into the tops of your socks.
Message: Posted by: alibaba (Jun 19, 2009 06:16PM)
Our tv recently expired and we "had" to buy another so my ex-ballerina wife could watch "so you think you can dance". In the store they had a promotion where, after a customer committed to buying a set, he (or she) got to pop a balloon inside of which was a rolled-up paper with a numerical figure between 5 and 25, this figure being the per cent discount they would subtract from the price. My wife popped the balloon and the paper hit the floor and rolled under the counter. As soon as the paper rolled under the counter, out of sight, my spidy-sense began to tingle and it occurred to me that the salesman could easily have switched the paper. I kept my mouth shut, though (it was 15%).
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 19, 2009 06:38PM)
You have all 52 cards tattooed somewhere on your person...
Message: Posted by: Kontents (Jun 19, 2009 06:41PM)
When money vanishing isn't money spent.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 19, 2009 08:38PM)
When you order woofle dust by the carload.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 20, 2009 06:05AM)
When you "cast a shadow" over everything at the dinner table...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 20, 2009 11:30AM)
When you say "I'm looped" and aren't talking about your state of sobriety.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 20, 2009 11:42AM)
When you keep posting blithering nonsense in the hopes that a new generation will take up the fight.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 20, 2009 12:22PM)
When you realize that jay leslie is the real Yoda of the Magic internets!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 20, 2009 12:45PM)
When you save 30 year old magic catalogs to look through now and then...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 20, 2009 01:45PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-20 12:42, jay leslie wrote:
When you keep posting blithering nonsense in the hopes that a new generation will take up the fight.
[/quote]

When you agree with the above statement because the new generation are seen to be slowly popping up now.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Jun 20, 2009 02:09PM)
When you think you know what kind of nonsense blithers.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 20, 2009 02:19PM)
When you start tracking who the new generations that just joined the Café and where and what they are posting.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 20, 2009 02:19PM)
When you can actually see a new generation on this thread.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 20, 2009 02:20PM)
When the old timers are celebrating the birth of a new generation in this thread.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 20, 2009 03:46PM)
(Who you calling old, James?)

When you find a bottle of aspirin that expired in 1962 in one of your magic cases.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 20, 2009 04:52PM)
When your dove suffers an untimely demise, as you produce it, and you manually flap it's wings because you honestly believe the audience won't know the difference. And you walk it off stage where your wife is heard to say, over the wireless microphone: "No Lou, they'll never know it's dead... now get out there and finish the show."
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 20, 2009 07:30PM)
When you take sick days from work to rehearse for your next gig...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 20, 2009 09:28PM)
When you buy a car because the trunk holds road cases.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 20, 2009 10:13PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-19 15:25, jay leslie wrote:
I learned in a psychology class that if you make the same face someone else is making (this is subjectively cultural) that you can experience the same emotion they are feeling. [/quote]

When you decide to check the validity of the above statement with your psychologist doctor sister and she emails;

"The answer is, it depends. Read about microexpressions to understand more about emotional complexity.
Love,
Your Sis
[url]http://www.paulekman.com/[/url] "
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 20, 2009 11:01PM)
(This psychologist also agrees with your sister.)

When you go get a suitcase to pack for a trip to your 40th High School reunion and find it has a bunch of magic you bought at the last WMS still in it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 21, 2009 06:32AM)
When you ask the name of a particular trick, not realizing you have it already in a book...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 21, 2009 01:32PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-19 15:25, jay leslie wrote:

When you decide to check the validity of the above statement with your psychologist doctor sister and she emails;

"The answer is, it depends. Read about micro-expressions to understand more about emotional complexity.
[/quote]

To be perfectly honest, there are people who can lie very well. Some cultures are trained to smile, in public, even if something disgusts them. However, there are some who are born great liars. My brother is the best liar on the planet. Whatever he says, don't you believe it. Don't try to figure out what he's thinking by his stance or expressions either, won't work. Matter of fact I come from a whole family of liars. It's a trait that's passed down from generation to generation and the best part is, I don't even have a brother.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 21, 2009 02:24PM)
(That's a good one, Jay, especially on the brother part)

When you do not know when to stop when you are performing for your friends.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 21, 2009 02:58PM)
When you don't know when to stop posting.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 21, 2009 03:00PM)
When you just cannot have enough of the Magic Café forum.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 21, 2009 04:46PM)
When my brother insists that I'm doing these tricks for real.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 21, 2009 04:46PM)
When you practice the pass while watching the Nascar race...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 21, 2009 05:04PM)
Your driving in the Nascar race - - -while practicing sleights.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 21, 2009 06:00PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-21 18:04, jay leslie wrote:
Your driving in the Nascar race - - -while practicing sleights.
[/quote]

(Now that's what I call a dedicated magician!).

When you have to explain 50 times a year how with the last name of Bouton you can be related to Blackstone.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 22, 2009 10:28AM)
When your collection of magicians business cards exceeds one thousand and dates back almost 50 years.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 22, 2009 02:24PM)
When 300 people at am amway convention take your card and they all call you the next day pretending to be interested in a show.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 22, 2009 03:13PM)
When you like teasing all your friends at the Café everyday.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 22, 2009 08:12PM)
When you know the difference between a feint, a fake, a feke, a gimmick, a gaff, a gaffus, and an accessory...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 22, 2009 10:03PM)
When after 50 years in magic, James can still sucker you in.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 23, 2009 07:52AM)
When you have just re-invented the 'suckered in' trick for your friends who enjoyed it very much.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 23, 2009 10:10AM)
Ok... I give.... What is it?
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 23, 2009 10:54AM)
When you are thinking about having a tatoo of your rabbit "Hairy Blackstone" being placed someplace. When you are thinking of naming your other rabbit "Potter" so he can be "Hairy Potter." When you go by a pet store, you can't resist stopping by to see if they have a new rabbit toy. That your favorite video on youtube is the one of the rabbit playing checkers. That you would never in a million years have a rabbit as a pet but for that you are a magician. That your rabbit hutch has a picture of a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat on it. That your dog is also named after a magician even though he is not in your act.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 23, 2009 11:03AM)
When you think that "Hairy Blackstone" is a good name for a rabbit; almost as good as the name of your rabbit, "Mr. Pellets."
Message: Posted by: cairo (Jun 23, 2009 11:07AM)
Or "Hare E. Houdini."
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 23, 2009 03:06PM)
When all your wabbits are named after some famous magicians of the past.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 23, 2009 05:07PM)
When you take off your roller blades and feel like you are levitating without support...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 23, 2009 09:33PM)
When you think that Basil the Baffeling Bunny is preferable to Hairy Blackstone for a rabbit name. (I actually named mine Harvey, jr. and Thumper, go figure.)
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 23, 2009 10:07PM)
That you laugh, and the kids never do, but you say it anyway: "My rabbit is very clean. He does not want to be Dirty Harry."... That you know how much Forbes reported how much income David Copperfield made... That you took a bunch of the door knob "Do Not Disturb" signs from the maid's cart at the Canadian hotel/casino overlooking the falls at Niagara Falls because they feature the Queen of Hearts with a blindfold on. Not to mention the room keys which are plastic Kings and Queens... That you already are getting anxious for Magic Week in Colon even though it is more than a month away... That you understand and comprehend every word written in a book review by Jamy Ian Swiss.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 24, 2009 05:14AM)
When you visit the magic museum in Marshall, Mi. every summer...
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 24, 2009 09:45AM)
When there are newspaper articles of you from 40 years ago in the file collection at The American Musuem of Magic in Marshall, Michigan.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 24, 2009 02:10PM)
When you start finding out the hand sizes of magicians and whether they prefer to palm bigger objects or smaller items.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 24, 2009 02:25PM)
When your son said proudly he could palm a basketball and you were thinking that he was doing a magic trick...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 24, 2009 02:45PM)
I got it....... you are spending way tooooo much magic when...

You practice talking in code but you don't have (or will ever have) an assistant.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 24, 2009 03:18PM)
You take a bath with Goshman sponges...
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 24, 2009 03:49PM)
Or take a bath with your "Soft Soap" trick... Or wash your clothes with your Rabbit Wringer... Or floss your teeth with line from your P & L reel...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 24, 2009 04:06PM)
You ask someone to think of a card while you wipe your hands with a "Black Towel" gag while wearing a blindfold, handcuffed to a table with a sharp knife and 3 empty slots while guessing the color of a die (inside a box)... dropping the towel you start shuffling the cards with one hand.... which you toss in the air.... and when they cascade down, the handcuffs are invisible for a second so you escape but you grab the selected card and impale it on the knife, leaving the other three slots alone.... and even though you did this at a restaurant,,,,,, but it wasn't a show (just happy hour)... everyone wanted to know how you guessed the color of the die.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 24, 2009 04:45PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-24 17:06, jay leslie wrote:
You ask someone to think of a card while you wipe your hands with a "Black Towel" gag while wearing a blindfold, handcuffed to a table with a sharp knife and 3 empty slots while guessing the color of a die (inside a box)... dropping the towel you start shuffling the cards with one hand.... which you toss in the air.... and when they cascade down, the handcuffs are invisible for a second so you escape but you grab the selected card and impale it on the knife, leaving the other three slots alone.... and even though you did this at a restaurant,,,,,, but it wasn't a show (just happy hour)... everyone wanted to know how you guessed the color of the die.
[/quote]

When you think you're actually doing this act at the Castle in the Parlour of Prestidigitation.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 24, 2009 05:55PM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-24 17:06, jay leslie wrote:
You ask someone to think of a card while you wipe your hands with a "Black Towel" gag while wearing a blindfold, handcuffed to a table with a sharp knife and 3 empty slots while guessing the color of a die (inside a box)... dropping the towel you start shuffling the cards with one hand.... which you toss in the air.... and when they cascade down, the handcuffs are invisible for a second so you escape but you grab the selected card and impale it on the knife, leaving the other three slots alone.... and even though you did this at a restaurant,,,,,, but it wasn't a show (just happy hour)... everyone wanted to know how you guessed the color of the die.
[/quote]

(Someone go drag Jay away from the glue pot again!)

When you look at all your wooden props and wonder if the same glue Jay uses was used to glue them together?
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 24, 2009 06:33PM)
You have a trick that uses glue? I don't have any tricks that use glue. I need to know all about that trick right now that uses glue. What am I missing that I don't know about the world famous glue trick? Jay and Father P. both have it? Does it involve Elmer's? Paste? A sticky bomb? Glue Sticks? Crazy glue? Band-Aids? Scotch tape and soda? Does it appear? Disappear? Hold a man's hat to a steel girder? Like a light and heavy box? Where do I get this glue? I thought I was spending too much time with magic when now I finally find out I don't know anything about your glue trick that is wonderful and that I might be able to use some day. I don't know jack squat about magic, I am not even familiar with the glue illusion. You know you're spending too much time in magic when you are dreaming of any possible conceivable glue trick...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 24, 2009 07:19PM)
When you are laughing your head off at Magicbus's glue diatribe!
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 24, 2009 10:08PM)
When you keep track of anything magic and magician oriented across the entire Dish Network.

Posted: Jun 25, 2009 11:28am
When, in a dream, you plan to visit one of the great Magic shops that existed when you were much younger; a favorite shop in Baltimore.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 25, 2009 11:21AM)
When you wish there is such a thing as the magician's colony where magicians can live there together ... magicians, magic shops, magic shows, magic conventions, etc, etc, etc.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 25, 2009 02:29PM)
Yes but everyone would vote themselves as leader, king and best magician too.


When you do that act in the Castle and half the magicians leave..... depressed...... because they've seen it last year.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 25, 2009 02:33PM)
When you can steal a pickpockets watch and wallet...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 25, 2009 03:21PM)
When you're getting your picture with the mayor and take their glasses, then wear them in the photo.

It's true!
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 25, 2009 04:55PM)
When you remember when Goshman was a baker.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 25, 2009 06:01PM)
When you watch reruns of Masters of Illusion & the masked magician...
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Jun 25, 2009 06:37PM)
You perform magic in your dreams.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 25, 2009 11:04PM)
That you've seen June Horowitz's original printed sheet manuscript copies of the original Tarbell course that was sold as a correspondence course before being consolidated by Louis Tannen into book form... That you think Jack Black should play the part of Tim for the Skilldini/The Tim Wright movie... That you wish Denny and Lee would ship everything FedEx overnight as it causes too much anxiety awaiting delivery of the latest Levent DVD via "slow" Priority Mail... That you actually considered spending over $35 for a take-apart, screw together magic wooden wand... that you've wondered about doing an appearing watermellon, then spit seeds out of your mouth. Or have the first ever watermellon lota.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 26, 2009 10:48AM)
When all your non-Magician friends greet you with "How's tricks?"
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 26, 2009 11:08AM)
[quote]
On 2009-06-26 00:04, MagicBus wrote:
That you've seen June Horowitz's original printed sheet manuscript copies of the original Tarbell course that was sold as a correspondence course before being consolidated by Louis Tannen into book form..
[/quote]

When you have 2 sets of the 60 volume coarse that you leave "carelessly" laying around in the office and the second in the shop.... just to make sure people will stumble across them (but not touch).

(FYI Tarbell comes-up as the suggested word "terrible", in the spell checker.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 26, 2009 01:36PM)
When you think that jay leslie is coming into focus.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 26, 2009 03:26PM)
When you are not used to viewing Jay's avatar that has only two eyes instead of four.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 26, 2009 07:24PM)
When you need a root canal and are looking at old catalogs to take your mind off it.


.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 27, 2009 12:30AM)
When you do magic at your 40th H.S. reunion and nobody seems to remember you did magic in high school.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 27, 2009 06:00AM)
All your magic books and mags are arranged in alphabetical order...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 27, 2009 12:43PM)
When you actually go to the trouble to cross reference all of the articles out of your many magic magazines every year.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 27, 2009 01:45PM)
When you try to get every issue of every magic magazine including those that are out of print for your research.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 27, 2009 04:44PM)
When you look at a woman at your high school reunion who used to be a dancer and think "She'd never fit into a load chamber now."
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 27, 2009 06:40PM)
During the reunion, you ask the women if they want to see a card trick, instead of going to the submarine races...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 27, 2009 07:58PM)
You must live near the water Joseph. I've never been able to get a girl to go see the ducks - let alone a submarine.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 27, 2009 09:15PM)
When you decide to name your boat after the goddess of Magic - [i]Maja[/i].
Message: Posted by: MagikDavid (Jun 27, 2009 09:55PM)
When you go to your H.S. reunion and find out that nobody remembers you because you were the one who did magic tricks in High School, and... the only one who was interested in your magic was the kid who brought the violin case to school each day... and he couldn't make it to the reunion.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 28, 2009 05:38AM)
When you perform magic to the music on your ipod...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 28, 2009 01:38PM)
When you need to read all 21 pages of this thread to inspire you more to spend more time with magic.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 28, 2009 03:24PM)
When you have the time to read all these pages...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 28, 2009 04:12PM)
When you knew Card Magic from Roy Walton before [i]Card Warp[/i].
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 28, 2009 06:16PM)
When you sit in a very hot room, sweating like a stuck hog, reading the threads you have missed out on over the weekend to catch up.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 29, 2009 05:48AM)
Practice is more important than going to see the new Transformers movie...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 29, 2009 05:56AM)
When you are practicing the vernon wand spin when you are watching the new Transformer movie.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 29, 2009 06:09AM)
When the usher throws you out of the theater while you are practicing the Vernon wand spin when you are watching the new Transformer movie...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 29, 2009 06:18AM)
When I find my way to the projector room so I can continue watching the movie and practicing the invisible pass at the same time, after I have been thrown out of the theatre while I was practicing the Vernon wand spin when I am watching the new Transformer movie.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 29, 2009 09:11AM)
While watching the Transformers movie, you practice 2 popcorn kernels in the hand, and 1 in the pocket...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 29, 2009 11:31AM)
When you find the transformations you can do more interesting than the Transformers movie.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 29, 2009 11:43AM)
When you do Pase Pase Coke at the theatre followed by multiplying Hot Dogs and concluding with the Popcorn Die Box....... while on a date. (you were standing in the front row with your back to the screen).
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 29, 2009 01:01PM)
When you blew up a dozen balloons to appear a dozen appearing canes during the new Transformer movie just to test whether the audience prefer to watch you or the movie.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 29, 2009 01:38PM)
When you spend 4 weeks trying to find a method to transform your old dove pan into a beautiful assistant.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 29, 2009 01:42PM)
When you cross a Caddillac with an intersection in Hollywood, and you get a blond.

That's a good trick.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 29, 2009 02:34PM)
When you memorize the Rub a Dub Dub poem from Malone's dvd...(I actually did.)...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 29, 2009 03:41PM)
When you try to read your magic magazines while driving down a busy freeway.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 29, 2009 05:56PM)
Everyone around you send photos of old magic to identify.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 29, 2009 07:01PM)
When you know where to send photos of old magic for expert identification.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 29, 2009 07:41PM)
Waiting.


.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 29, 2009 09:01PM)
When you have lived long enough to be a natural expert on old magic.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 29, 2009 11:06PM)
When you just pick up pieces of raw materials at random and then work on them to see what new tricks you can come up with.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 30, 2009 05:24AM)
You perform flag blendo for everyone before the fireworks start on July 4th...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 30, 2009 01:31PM)
When you cannot help but insist on performing every version of the card to wallet at every IBM meeting.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 30, 2009 04:43PM)
You follow a zombie act with your zombie act...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 30, 2009 06:09PM)
When you video tape various Zombie acts to compare them and write notes, even though you don't perform on the stage, but you hope to perform an illusion act...... some day, but you're already 47 and your knees hurt....but you've been collecting props, in the garage, this whole time.... because who knows? The act that was supposed to appear at the Elks Club at the holidays is delayed due to snow, so you run over to your house and try to convince the wife to help you load the car and you keep looking at your cell phone the entire time hoping... just hoping... that it doesn't ring because you just know that the president of the club will tell you that the act just arrived... and thank you anyway.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jun 30, 2009 09:14PM)
When you are sitting at home sweltering in the heat and humidity and wish you were at a convention someplace.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jun 30, 2009 10:40PM)
When you make it a point to visit the location of Joe Karson's Magic Shop in Springfield, MA and do a Zombie routine in honor of him when you get there.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 1, 2009 05:31AM)
When you are dripping with sweat before your show, but it's 62 degrees inside...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 1, 2009 11:57AM)
When you insist on performing your variation of ANY trick for the inventor.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 1, 2009 01:59PM)
When you know what U.S. city Eagle Magic was in and have visited it while it was still in business even though you aren't from there.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 1, 2009 02:00PM)
When you find out that when you sweat profusely (droplets of sweat dripping from your hands), you took advantage of it and start performing the water from hand without sleeve to Fr. Photius but found out that Fr. Photius can perform the waterfall from hand effortlessly.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 1, 2009 02:46PM)
When you realize you really have been spending way too much time with online Magic and decide to shut your computer down at least once a day.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 1, 2009 06:01PM)
When you are a Texas magician and never have to think about what you are going to be doing over the labor day weekend/
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 1, 2009 07:24PM)
That you walked into Kmart today to buy a bike rack for your car and walk out with a "Portable Beverage Cooler" because it looks like something you can you in your act to put discarded props into?

That you type so fast with excitement on The Magic Café that you type the word "you" instead of the word "use" (see above)

That you immediately post to the "Magical Accessories" portion of The Magic Café your finding of the "portable beverage cooler" at Kmart today.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 1, 2009 08:21PM)
Which Kmart?
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 1, 2009 08:27PM)
I bought my "dump box" Northwest Territory portable beverage cooler at the Kmart on Stadium Drive in Kalamazoo, Michigan. That I also loved Banachek's portable table he uses in his lecture- the whole base is taken apart and put into one small portion of the table leg, it ends up being about the size of a small laptop computer for travel. That I wish I had one even though I already have at least 4 side tables. Neato!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 1, 2009 09:36PM)
When you watch a PBS TV program on Garrison Keilor and for some reason it makes you think about Mark and Nani back in the early 1950's in Dallas.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 2, 2009 05:27AM)
When you carry all 50 different state quarters, so you are prepared for any coin trick...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 2, 2009 02:52PM)
When you carry every card trick deck in your pouch so you are prepared to perform for every magician friend you meet.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 2, 2009 03:37PM)
When you wake up at a hotel after partying all night at a Magic convention and you can't remember what convention you're attending.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 2, 2009 04:03PM)
When you don't book a room at the convention because you don't intend to sleep.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 2, 2009 04:04PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-02 17:03, jay leslie wrote:
When you don't book a room at the convention because you don't intend to sleep.
[/quote]

When you can recognize greatness when you see it!!!
Message: Posted by: John Long (Jul 2, 2009 04:51PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-01 21:21, jay leslie wrote:
Which Kmart?
[/quote]

Excuse me, but lets stay on topic :)
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 2, 2009 05:20PM)
You eat at the Chinese restaurant so you can collect everyone's chop sticks...
Message: Posted by: MagikDavid (Jul 2, 2009 07:47PM)
When you own almost every magic DVD in the world and have only watched about 5... and probably won't live long enough to watch the rest.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 2, 2009 07:50PM)
Excuse me, but lets stay on topic :)
[/quote]

Which topic?
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 2, 2009 09:06PM)
That you've already set your DVR to record the Lance Burton specials on WGN.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 2, 2009 10:45PM)
When you own 6 different types of flipper coins.
Message: Posted by: G. (Jul 3, 2009 04:55AM)
When you do spell bound with every small object.
Whenever something drops or moves, you will pretend you made it happen.
You will play flip stick move even with an egg.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 3, 2009 05:26AM)
You mastered nickels to dimes and think you are ready to win at FISM...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 3, 2009 12:29PM)
When your online Magic friends many of whom you've never met mean as much to you as many of your (whats the opposite of Cyber?) friends.

Happy Independence Day wherever you are!

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 3, 2009 02:17PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-03 06:26, joseph wrote:
You mastered nickels to dimes and think you are ready to win at FISM...
[/quote]

(That;s a good one, Joseph)

When you have a secret dream of starting a magic museum to showcase every version of all the tricks you have bought.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 3, 2009 02:18PM)
When your house already IS a magic museum.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 3, 2009 02:21PM)
Ohh, then I have a magic museum too, Fr. Photius. :bg:
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 3, 2009 02:28PM)
When you walk into any room and someone screams "Don't ask him to do any magic!"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 3, 2009 02:35PM)
When you prefer to spend time watching Dai Vernon's cups and balls routine DVD repeatedly than watching the new Transformer movie.

Posted: Jul 3, 2009 3:36pm
When you start enjoying the masked moron's performances than real world movies.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 3, 2009 03:15PM)
When you walk into any airport and somebody screams "There is Fr. Photius, the Great Magician!" (And I really need to stop screaming that.)
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 3, 2009 09:45PM)
When you know that Max Maven is going to be on a cooking show on Bravo TV next Wednesday night at 9pm EST (July 8).
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 3, 2009 09:51PM)
(Yes I predicted that several weeks ago)

When you know why Max prefers to be called Max and not Phil.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 3, 2009 09:57PM)
When you decide to step on Fr. Photius previous prediction about Max Maven and risk Photius ridicule just to remind everyone about the TV program again yet not really caring much one way or another about the glory only to keep the word out.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 4, 2009 06:41AM)
When all your coffee cups are chop cups...Hey, where's the handle on this cup?...
Message: Posted by: trombley (Jul 4, 2009 10:16AM)
When you see someone do gene andersons newspaper tear and you mouth along with their patter.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 4, 2009 10:18AM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-04 07:41, joseph wrote:
When all your coffee cups are chop cups...Hey, where's the handle on this cup?...
[/quote]

I like it and may I add, when you have your morning coffee from one of Howie's prototype [i]Uncuppleds[/i].
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 4, 2009 11:03AM)
When you palm a half (each hand) while typing.

Re cooking show: I will relish - Max (Might even kathup on a few things).... oh oh, my career is at steak.

(Max sitting back - thinking "Is this what it's come to?"
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 4, 2009 12:30PM)
When you stand in the middle of the street and do the [i]Patriotic Flag Blendo[/i] using silks from Dovelite for all the passing motorists on the Fourth of July every year.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 4, 2009 01:21PM)
Can you put that on Youtube?
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 4, 2009 01:54PM)
When you give some serious thought to a request on the Café so...

To see the videos I have on youtube right now you can do a search on my name "Tabby Crabb". The only magic related video I have on Youtube right now is a piece on Richard Hatch Im working on and the Annemann footage I inherited from Max Abrams. I have some great stuff that's unreleased I need to digitize.

As for the [i]Patriotic Blendo[/i], I'll have to make sure I get somebody to shoot video next year. Im usually the camera man and have yet to star in one of my own movies. I need to do that.

There is a revenge piece I've been working on where I film live me taking revenge on the folks who killed my dad 40 years ago. You'll probably hear about it on the evening news. It should be good.

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 4, 2009 03:19PM)
When I escape from a crate on the 4th of July..It's surrounded by lady finger fire crackers and sparklers... :napping: ...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 4, 2009 04:04PM)
When your wife sees you practicing the coin roll/steeple chase with your toes.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 4, 2009 04:59PM)
When you walk into a room with a TV on and hear someone say "he is stealing second" and instead of baseball you think of someone stealing a second card.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 4, 2009 05:28PM)
When your wife sees you making balloon animals with your feet...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 4, 2009 05:28PM)
Or when you walk in the room and boxing on, on and you think of run-ups when you hear "He's down for the count".
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 4, 2009 05:45PM)
When you watch bank tellers closely to be sure they aren't doing a false count on you.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 5, 2009 05:51AM)
You hand wash and iron all your silks so no one will wreck them...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 5, 2009 01:31PM)
When you bring along your favorite vent doll everywhere you go and start talking to it in public with the puppet replying you.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 5, 2009 04:52PM)
When you answer the phone in your vent dummy's voice and insist you aren't home.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 5, 2009 05:52PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-05 17:52, Father Photius wrote:
When you answer the phone in your vent dummy's voice and insist you aren't home.
[/quote]

When you are prone to say, "Now, that's really funny. Good one!!"

-=tab
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 5, 2009 06:11PM)
When you have all the corny old Vent routines that Abbott's sold and wonder if anyone ever used them?
Message: Posted by: MagikDavid (Jul 5, 2009 08:49PM)
When you remember seeing Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy on the Ed Sullivan Show and being disappointed because you were hoping to see Harry Blackstone, Sr. instead.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 5, 2009 09:19PM)
When the waitress says "Ranch, Thousand Island, or French? and you answer "drop"
Message: Posted by: squando (Jul 5, 2009 10:40PM)
You spend too much on magic when you find it easier to goto Staples or Michaels or wherever and rebuild a prop rather than find the one lost in your messy magic space at home.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 6, 2009 06:06AM)
When you practice your hand washing every time you wash your hands...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 6, 2009 11:28AM)
When you try to perform Crazy Man's Handcuffs with car tires.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 6, 2009 12:41PM)
When you read a book with "Magic" in its title for 10 pages before you realize the title was "Cooking Magic".
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 6, 2009 01:56PM)
When you ask a gypsy for more thread...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 6, 2009 03:50PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-06 14:56, joseph wrote:
When you ask a gypsy for more thread...
[/quote]

When you don't realize this is the best answer ever and cannot be topped!
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 6, 2009 03:53PM)
That you know HotTrix, NapkinRose, Paltergeist, Mobius, MyLovelyAssistant, WeirdThings, BarryMitchell, Axtell .coms are all magic sites...

Posted: Jul 6, 2009 4:55pm
That you keep repeatedly clicking on the Abbott Magic website/The Newest TOPS magazine site to see if the July online issue has been uploaded yet...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 6, 2009 06:47PM)
When you've taken a picture next to Jay.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 6, 2009 08:39PM)
(Mike is Back! Yeeeeeaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!)

When you have 12184 posts on the Magic Café.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 6, 2009 10:11PM)
When you're a millionaire.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 6, 2009 10:20PM)
When, after 40 years of practice, you still think you are going to hit the big time and become a millionaire illusionist.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 6, 2009 10:44PM)
When you have not did a show from practicing 30 years.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 6, 2009 10:46PM)
When people can still talk you into doing shows even though you insist you have retired from such.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 6, 2009 10:56PM)
When there is no way to enter your house because it is full of magic props.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 6, 2009 10:58PM)
When you have the number to Stevens Magic on speed dial.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 6, 2009 11:10PM)
When you use a Lota Bowl to take a bath in.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 7, 2009 05:26AM)
When you still think Genii magazine will arrive on time...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 7, 2009 11:09AM)
When you substitute flash paper for toilet paper.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 7, 2009 01:52PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-07 00:10, Dynamike wrote:
When you use a Lota Bowl to take a bath in.
[/quote]

This is a huge Lota Bowl you have there, Dynamike :bg:
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 7, 2009 02:05PM)
When you have as many packet tricks as you have decks of cards...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 7, 2009 02:10PM)
When a friend you haven't seen in years comes into your house and says "What the he** is this, a magic shop?"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 7, 2009 02:24PM)
When you cannot locate things at all and your wife keeps reminding you that you are living in a magic junk yard and not a house.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 7, 2009 03:18PM)
When you see a brother magician eating rabbit instead of BBQ ribs.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 7, 2009 04:57PM)
That you bought an overpriced can of "Spot Remover" at the store because you thought you could incorporate it into your Metamorpho Spots silks/can routine...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 7, 2009 05:29PM)
When you read a magic book you have had since you were 8 and are very sure you read it then, and don't remember reading any of it.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 7, 2009 05:46PM)
When you can no longer pay your water bill, so you must shower with your Lota Bowl.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 7, 2009 06:02PM)
When you need to plug airflow from a sliding window and decide a bunch of old spongeballs you have been keeping for some unknown reason will fit the job nicely.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 7, 2009 06:46PM)
When you have a foreclosure sign in front of your house.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 7, 2009 06:47PM)
That you walk into a store called "Illusions" in a town in hopes that it has something to do with magic only to find out it is a hair cutting place...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 7, 2009 07:00PM)
When every time you first meet a female, you want to show her your magic wand.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 7, 2009 09:38PM)
When you constantly have to reinforce bookcases to keep your magic books from breaking the shelves.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 8, 2009 05:32AM)
You make your wife disappear.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 8, 2009 06:17AM)
You go to the library and read David Copperfield 3 times before you realize it's a different guy...
Message: Posted by: rizyanrizy (Jul 8, 2009 07:03AM)
When you ride your card (bicycle), and use sharpie to cut carrot [not funny at all] hoho
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 8, 2009 09:32AM)
When your jaw becomes cramped from saying abracadabra.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 8, 2009 10:53AM)
When you post eight to one.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 8, 2009 01:57PM)
When you keep coming back to post at these 3 threads (gag tag, why is it that?? and You know you're spending too much time w/ magic when) everyday.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 8, 2009 04:43PM)
When your post makes you late for a show.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 8, 2009 06:30PM)
When you take photos with other magicians so you can have two people in your avatar.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 8, 2009 07:37PM)
When you spend a month designing your business card...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 8, 2009 08:52PM)
When you get arrested every week from doing the 3 card monte.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 8, 2009 09:06PM)
When you never win at three card monte.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 8, 2009 10:09PM)
When your name is [i]Monte[/i] and everybody calls you [i]Three Card Monte.[/i]
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 8, 2009 10:21PM)
When a student starts off a magic class teaching the teacher.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 9, 2009 05:51AM)
When you call the magic store every week asking "What's New?...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 9, 2009 11:45AM)
When you always ask for a 50% discount on your props.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 9, 2009 11:48AM)
When you turn your Chair Suspension into a diving board for a blow-up pool.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 9, 2009 01:42PM)
When you believe you have a great career in magic and most of the time you are buying new tricks and also always confide with others that you are always broke.
Message: Posted by: Corbett (Jul 9, 2009 02:40PM)
When you are in 7th grade, have just purchased Bobo and can't put it down, and you keep getting detentions for disrupting the class by continually dropping quarters on your desk while practicing your palms and false transfers. True Story.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 9, 2009 02:43PM)
When an hour in detention only means another hour to practice Bobo sleights.
Message: Posted by: Corbett (Jul 9, 2009 02:44PM)
Yes Jay! Exactly.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 9, 2009 05:19PM)
When you are hoping the Germaine water jars have a comeback.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 9, 2009 05:25PM)
When you think you should get $100 every time you do McDonald's Aces.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 9, 2009 08:14PM)
Let's see.. 100 for McDonalds aces... mmmm I owe you 100, (never done it) I don't even know the words to Old McDonald who had a farm and on that farm he raised some ducks that he sold to magicians to use in their show. And he had some horses which Father Photiu's uncle made vanish. And he had some doves which he sold to wedding planners because they were easier to deal with then magicians. But most of all he had some pigs which were never used in a show so he was stuck with a lot of pigs because they wouldn't fir in a dove pan or even a Teene Weene Water vase. E I E I OOOOOOOooooooo
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 9, 2009 08:37PM)
When you know that Dai Vernon's version of McDonald's $100 Routine is on page 26 of [i]More Inner Secrets of Card Magic[/i] by Lewis Ganson.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 9, 2009 09:36PM)
When you come back from a show and, while still in costume, check this thread.... even though Mother Nature is calling....... loud.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 9, 2009 10:02PM)
(I think Jay wins the blue ribbon for number 1 addict to this thread, lol)

When you actually try reading a chapter in a magic book backwards to see if there might be another trick hidden there.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 10, 2009 02:34AM)
When the police caught you every time for pickpocketing?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 10, 2009 05:45AM)
When you really think you can make Braco's Ball work...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 10, 2009 06:08AM)
When you take your lap top to bed with you, and fall asleep typing on the Café.
Message: Posted by: Corbett (Jul 10, 2009 08:54AM)
When your morning routine before you walk out the door, includes checking your pockets not only for your wallet and car keys, but also your TT, half dollar, and a few rubber bands.

When before leaving the house for any appointment that involves a wait, or boredom (drs office, airport, in-laws house, etc.) you check to see what magic reference book or publication you can take with you to pass the time.

When you pull that magic book off the shelf that you've had and studied for 15 years, JUST to see if there might be something new inside that you missed before.
Message: Posted by: ray raymond (Jul 10, 2009 09:42AM)
When some night you tell your wife" put your clothes back on I am trying to learn this"
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 10, 2009 10:33AM)
When you blow off a golf match with Willie Nelson to watch [i]Women In Boxes[/i] on the Documentary Channel.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 10, 2009 10:55AM)
When you saw your sister in half making her your half sister.
Message: Posted by: ray raymond (Jul 10, 2009 10:57AM)
When your children get in trouble and you send them to there box without dinner.

Posted: Jul 10, 2009 11:58am
How'd I end up in this box?............where are my kids?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 10, 2009 10:59AM)
When your knit balls are getting too small for the cup.

[quote]
On 2009-07-10 11:40, ray raymond wrote:
I am a recovering alcohlic, I am trying to cut back.
[/quote]
When it turns you into an alcohlic.
Message: Posted by: Corbett (Jul 10, 2009 12:50PM)
Good stuff Ray. Keep it coming.
------------------------------------

When you get tired of making yet another gimmick for 5 and 1 transpo, because you've spent yet another gimmick from your wallet.

When you no longer mind going to the in-laws for the evening, because it provides you with a new audience that is NOT your wife.

When the glove box in both your cars has at least 1 deck of cards, for traffic jams, waiting on trains, etc..

When the monthly delivery of MAGIC and GENII to the mailbox feels like Christmas morning.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 10, 2009 02:46PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-10 10:42, ray raymond wrote:
When some night you tell your wife" put your clothes back on I am trying to learn this"
[/quote]

This is a real good one, Ray!

Posted: Jul 10, 2009 3:48pm
When you think being busy contributing to this thread makes you a productive and successful magician.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 10, 2009 02:54PM)
Is that what we've been doing all these months?

When you really think that Bullwinkle could use a bigger hat.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 10, 2009 02:59PM)
When you start dressing up your pets in tail coats.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 10, 2009 05:36PM)
Was that a Bullwinkle reference?
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 10, 2009 05:51PM)
When you buy decks of cards by the gross.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 10, 2009 09:57PM)
When you buy your decks of cards by Gross, Sally Gross that is, she is a dealer at the Riveria.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 11, 2009 03:02AM)
When you have an erection when looking at a magic shop.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 11, 2009 05:39AM)
When you show Sally Gross a poker chip trick, and she has you thrown out of the casino...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 11, 2009 09:52AM)
When you begin a prayer with "Dear Heavenly Houdini..."
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 11, 2009 03:18PM)
When after hours of driving down the highway staring through the windsheild you come up with an idea for a new move and you can't wait to get home to try it out.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 11, 2009 03:32PM)
When a preacher does nothing inside of a church but types on the Magic Café.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 11, 2009 04:01PM)
When you can't wait to read this thread because more people are participating here.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 11, 2009 04:04PM)
When you are watching the Magic Café when you got a show booked. (Sorry, gotta go).
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 11, 2009 04:11PM)
When you can't help but have a jokes and gags party every day with other magic addicts here.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 11, 2009 04:27PM)
When you start to formulate the idea of writing a book about the magical humor of James Tong and Dynamike.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 11, 2009 06:26PM)
When you're in the middle of a show and make an observation that qualifies for "Why Is it that" (which you'll have to read because it doesn't apply to this thread.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 11, 2009 06:41PM)
When you wonder who invented the Chinese Sticks.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 12, 2009 04:58AM)
You get in the longest line so you can show more people your coin tricks...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 12, 2009 06:54AM)
When you show the cashier a few tricks while others are waiting impatiently.
Message: Posted by: ray raymond (Jul 12, 2009 08:18AM)
When you are willing to spend $300 to get $3.00
come fly with me does look sweet though.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 12, 2009 10:19AM)
When you turn down a $1000 show to go to a lecture.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 12, 2009 01:19PM)
When you just can't throw away old illusions so you attach the fronts to doors throughout your warehouse and you make your Mummy Case into a cloths closet and your Sword Basket is now a cloths hamper and the base from your Broom Suspension becomes a coffee table and you make a solid top for your Asrah Table which becomes an 8 person dining room table which uses chairs form three different Chair Suspensions... and you line the common wall of your garage with 80,000 old magazines that give the house more R value. And your elastic lady becomes a Paint Cabinet and you keep your old Zig Zag in your bedroom so you have someone to talk to in the middle of the night.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 12, 2009 01:44PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-12 14:19, jay leslie wrote:
When you just can't throw away old illusions so you attach the fronts to doors throughout your warehouse and you make your Mummy Case into a cloths closet and your Sword Basket is now a cloths hamper and the base from your Broom Suspension becomes a coffee table and you make a solid top for your Asrah Table which becomes an 8 person dining room table which uses chairs form three different Chair Suspensions... and you line the common wall of your garage with 80,000 old magazines that give the house more R value. And your elastic lady becomes a Paint Cabinet and you keep your old Zig Zag in your bedroom so you have someone to talk to in the middle of the night.
[/quote]

When you know he's not talking about David Copperfield.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 12, 2009 03:47PM)
When you are trying to understand the chinese characters painted on props that are marketed as chinese magic.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 12, 2009 05:25PM)
When you thought the linking rings came from China.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 12, 2009 09:14PM)
When you can't reach into your pocket for anything without feeling a purse clasp and sponge balls.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 12, 2009 09:58PM)
When you try to decipher the chinese symbols on your Budda Tubes...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 13, 2009 11:00AM)
When you make a trick with foreign characters and walk on stage to find everyone laughing because the characters you copied are a street sign that reads "Do not p in the alley"
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 13, 2009 11:26AM)
Wne you're proud to be part of the world's 2nd oldest profession.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 13, 2009 12:01PM)
When you finally figure out a method to make your mother-in-law disappear.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 13, 2009 12:57PM)
In the tavern, you order a scotch and soda...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 13, 2009 02:38PM)
And you pay with a dime and a penny!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 13, 2009 02:58PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-13 13:01, Father Photius wrote:
When you finally figure out a method to make your mother-in-law disappear.
[/quote]
That's easy ... perform Dynamike's 101 rings routine. :bg:

Posted: Jul 13, 2009 3:59pm
When you enjoy watching tabman's frequent changing avatar routine.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 13, 2009 03:23PM)
When you would pick anyone for our guest of honor.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 13, 2009 03:27PM)
When you are so involved with magic that you forgot that you always forget to do your house chores.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 13, 2009 03:29PM)
When you change your avatar just for James Tong's enjoyment.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 13, 2009 03:33PM)
Thanks, Tabman :bg: ... just watching your new avatars makes me want to post more here :bg:
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 13, 2009 05:06PM)
When your wife tells you to get stop practicing and get to bed.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 13, 2009 06:37PM)
When you are digging through a file cabinet a work looking for a misplaced document and find two of Daryl's Feilder's Fliers, but can't find the document.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 13, 2009 07:03PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-13 18:06, Dynamike wrote:
When your wife tells you to get stop practicing and get to bed.
[/quote]

Are the two exclusionary or would you say they have nothing to do with each other?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 13, 2009 07:49PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-13 18:06, Dynamike wrote:
When your wife tells you to get stop practicing and get to bed.
[/quote]
When your wife tells you to stop practicing and come to bed.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 13, 2009 07:53PM)
When you get a chance to get a ride in a space ship looking prototype electric car and the first thing you mention is how cool the car would look with some rapid rabbit promotional decals on the side of it...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 13, 2009 07:57PM)
When you go over Kyle's house to see his RJOM.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 13, 2009 10:24PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-13 16:33, JamesTong wrote:
Thanks, Tabman :bg: ... just watching your new avatars makes me want to post more here :bg:
[/quote]

Note to Tabman: Life is short. Who knows how much longer this thread will go on? Apparently you and James have some kind of masochistic split personalities. You post more avatars. James posts more posts.... Will the expansion of this cycle ever diminish? Will you ever slow down enough so I can get a joke or matriculation in, occasionally? Will they ever perform on the same bill? Is the duck, big enough to support them on top of his bill? How much will the bill be, from the therapist I need after posting this never ending post...post?

How much glue does a glue pot need, if a glue pot could, glue pot?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 14, 2009 05:34AM)
When you put a ridiculous post because you can not think of a post to go along with the theme of this thread.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 14, 2009 05:34AM)
All your magic = your mortgage...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 14, 2009 05:38AM)
When send a ton on PM post to the Eternal Order members asking for support.
Message: Posted by: Zaprig1 (Jul 14, 2009 10:17AM)
When you have a terrible nightmare that you dropped your favorite coin gaff on the sidewalk and you check that very gaff the instant you wake! ;)

Yep.....I did.....
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 14, 2009 12:24PM)
When you dream you produced a giant marshmellow and ate it, then wake up and find your pillow missing.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 14, 2009 01:47PM)
When you think you can develop innovative magic routines during a bout of high fever.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 14, 2009 01:49PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-14 13:24, Father Photius wrote:
When you dream you produced a giant marshmellow and ate it, then wake up and find your pillow missing.
[/quote]

or your doves...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 14, 2009 01:57PM)
When you will work on a few sleights or flourish moves whenever you get your hands on any items.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 14, 2009 04:25PM)
When standing in front of an air conditioner vent trying to get cool and you start wondering how you can use such a cold air flow to do a trick.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 14, 2009 06:42PM)
If you have ever wondered who awards, and on what basis, the "Merlin Award?"

Posted: Jul 14, 2009 7:44pm
That when you saw the ad for "The Whole Thing" you thought of the late Jerry Andrus... even though the new trick does not even use a ball...

Posted: Jul 14, 2009 7:46pm
That your "portable flea circus" is actually your family pet dog Carter...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 14, 2009 07:52PM)
When you know the difference between Walt Zaney Blaney and Walt Zaney Baloney.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 14, 2009 08:07PM)
That's funny!!

When you know that Walter Blaney's family calls him [i]Zee Bee[/i].
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 14, 2009 09:08PM)
When you think you can sell banjos to magicians as Close-Up tables with built in threads.
Message: Posted by: MagikDavid (Jul 15, 2009 12:30AM)
When you can't find the instructions for some of your old tricks... because you put them away in a safe place, so you wouldn't lose them.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 15, 2009 03:04AM)
When a grammar host edits your post behind your back putting the opposite of what you posted.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 15, 2009 05:13AM)
When you test all your IT types, to see which is strongest...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 15, 2009 08:20AM)
When you change what others have posted unfairly.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 15, 2009 09:17AM)
When you only ask for crisp new dollars at the bank...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 15, 2009 11:10AM)
When your banjo has a trapdoor.
Message: Posted by: Sixten (Jul 15, 2009 11:20AM)
When you're @ a diner, and you hear the waiter/waitress yell to the cook:
"Club Sandwich!" And you say: "Excuse me. Do you have a moment?"
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 15, 2009 11:29AM)
When Sixten yells "Club Sandwich" and you realize that's a great name for a card trick.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 15, 2009 11:32AM)
When I want to carve a caveman club and put it between two slices of bread.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 15, 2009 11:47AM)
When you wonder if there were any Caveman Magicians.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 15, 2009 01:07PM)
When you're old enough to have known a caveman magician.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 15, 2009 01:45PM)
When you've marked special Guest of Honor: Jay Leslie ( 21st thru 27th ) on the calendar so you won't miss it.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 15, 2009 02:49PM)
I have to agree..... you sir, are doing way too much magic.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 15, 2009 03:14PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-15 14:07, Father Photius wrote:
When you're old enough to have known a caveman magician.
[/quote]
They had magic clubs back then...

When you don't feel funny anymore about tearing up a playing card...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 15, 2009 04:49PM)
When you have overcome your aversion to tearing up a dollar as part of a trick, since most tricks you do cost you more than a dollar.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 15, 2009 05:11PM)
When you made Tommy Wonder his own Tommy Wonder Ring Box.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 15, 2009 07:34PM)
When you rip up $100 bills, but can not restore them.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 15, 2009 08:31PM)
When you make so much as a magician you don't mind Dynamike ripping up your $100 bills and not restoring them.
Message: Posted by: ray raymond (Jul 15, 2009 09:04PM)
When you follow around dynamike, with scotch tape.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 15, 2009 11:19PM)
When you get a stick of Dynamite confused with the magician named Dynamike and light the wrong one.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 16, 2009 06:08AM)
When there is a card stuck behind every window of your house...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 16, 2009 06:20AM)
When you see cards stuck on the ceiling at your all of your friend's houses.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 16, 2009 06:43AM)
When there is a cap in every empty bottle in your house...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 16, 2009 11:04AM)
When you use magnets to separate your change
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 16, 2009 11:58AM)
When your dice have no more corners.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 16, 2009 01:22PM)
When you never run out of Magic related stuff to do.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 16, 2009 01:57PM)
When you think of Las Vegas and think of Magic first.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 16, 2009 02:15PM)
When you think of magic and think of Las Vegas second.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 16, 2009 02:26PM)
You give your grandchild walking liberty halves for xmas...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 16, 2009 02:33PM)
When you remember when New York City was the center of the Magic universe.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 16, 2009 02:43PM)
When you suddenly realised that tabman changed his avatar to black and white.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 16, 2009 04:27PM)
When you have 7 avatars....... It's just like having 7 pair of underwear......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
One for every month!
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 16, 2009 04:48PM)
When you can entertain yourself and others by screwing around with your Magic Café avatar.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 16, 2009 05:14PM)
When you also make your avatar face left as well as right.

Just how much time DO you have?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 16, 2009 07:32PM)
When you ask your guests to finish their coffee...You need to show them something with their cups & napkins...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 16, 2009 08:10PM)
When you use a lota bowl to fill their cups..... as soon as they say I've got to go when I'm done with this cup.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 16, 2009 08:53PM)
If you don't like my magic event reviews, remember, if you label me, you negate me. -Dick VanPatten in Wayne's World

If you wonder if Dean's Box will ever be purchased by Tenyo and put out in an all plastic version...

When you first finger palm the popcorn flavored Jelly Belly before popping it in your mouth...

That you are driving to Pigeon Forge in a weeks with your wife, telling your wife we're going on a brief summer vacation full of hiking in the Smokey Mountains, failing to mention the KIDabra! convention going on at the same time in hotel just happened to be booked...

That you wonder what new additions Marc DeSouza will have for Dean's Box in his new DVD not yet released...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 16, 2009 09:43PM)
Hay... would you keep us filled in on the wife thing?

We love to hear about tension-filled, I'll get you back..... fun vacations where no one talks to each other on the ride home

Shoot some video..
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 16, 2009 10:10PM)
Hey, get out of my car- do you have a bug in there?

When you see a Smirnoff Tuscan lemonade ad on tv and think instead of "The Lemon Game."

When you go to the VFW hall in Colon not to drink but hoping to see close up.

That you put your rabbit on a diet so he'll give you an excuse to buy the new bunny appearance box from Denny and Lee.

That you wonder who ever thought of putting tassels on Chinese sticks... last place I'd ever put tassels...

That your personal checking account checks have a top hat on them- closest you could get to a magic design...

That you apply for an IBM credit card even though you know you'll be denied due to your spending too much money on credit cards in the past for mail order magic...

That sometimes you laugh out loud when reading really inside posts from this section... makes you feel special.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 16, 2009 10:20PM)
When you can't go through a day without someone coming up and asking you if you know Cris Angel.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 16, 2009 11:14PM)
When you come in off the road and dream every night you're still on it.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 17, 2009 02:22AM)
When you must go to magic anonymous meetings.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 17, 2009 05:43AM)
You change your last name to Blackstone...

Posted: Jul 17, 2009 6:43am
Or Henning....or....
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 17, 2009 11:24AM)
Joseph
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 17, 2009 01:41PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-16 23:20, Father Photius wrote:
When you can't go through a day without someone coming up and asking you if you know Cris Angel.
[/quote]

Gosh, they have not heard of James Tong???
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 17, 2009 02:01PM)
When they think everyone should have heard of James Tong!
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 17, 2009 04:31PM)
As the man working at the salad bar proudly said, "with these tongs I move the salad around." Then he said he had to go to the restroom, "and with these tongs..."

I know who James Tong is and I'm not spending too much time with magic... Party On Garth! Magish on James! James' World! James' World!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 17, 2009 09:55PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-17 14:41, JamesTong wrote:

Gosh, they have not heard of James Tong???
[/quote]

(Everybody has heard of James Tong. Nobody would ask that question, that is like asking someone if they heard of Houdini)

When you spend all day looking for your vip passes to the Magic Castle to give to a friend, and can't find them anywhere, then sit down at your computer to read the magic Café and find them sitting right by the computer where you had put them the day before so you wouldn't forget where you put them.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 18, 2009 02:03AM)
When you walk in a magic shop to buy one item, but walk out with dozens.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 18, 2009 06:08AM)
When you talk to your doves, and think they know what you are saying...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 18, 2009 09:13AM)
When you walk into a Magic Shop and never leave.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 18, 2009 10:58AM)
Are you writing a book on me?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 18, 2009 11:44AM)
After you shower, you sprinkle fanning powder instead of baby powder...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 18, 2009 01:08PM)
When you expose the "mystery ingredient" in Fanning Powder.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 18, 2009 01:27PM)
When all your wife's cooking utensils have been converted to different versions of the dove pan.
Message: Posted by: Sixten (Jul 18, 2009 02:18PM)
When, during dinner, your wife asks: "Does anyone know why my Teddy Bear refrigerator
note holder is attached with scotch tape?"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 18, 2009 03:12PM)
When your wife questions you on why there are all kinds of magnets and funny looking bags stuck at the bottom of the dining table.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 18, 2009 03:18PM)
When you know magicians were using zinc way before Zicam and Cold Ease... I actually sold "magicians fanning powder" by the box full and advertised it in The Linking Ring in the mid-seventies... using "sterates" way before baseball players too... When you remember when Abbott's Super Z was the state of the art levitation... when you were at Wal-Mart last night buying wooden spoons at four for $1.50 and a large wind chime set from Walgreen's to make up Keith Field's wonderful human Xylophone effect... That you were trying to think of a trick using dust bunnies...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 18, 2009 03:34PM)
When you are trying to create an improved version of the woofle dust.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 18, 2009 03:39PM)
When you have grown tired of eating dove and rabbit.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 18, 2009 03:44PM)
When you are trying to make friends with magicians from every country in the world?
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 18, 2009 05:26PM)
When you wish James Tong would stop by for a visit.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 18, 2009 05:37PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-18 16:39, Father Photius wrote:
When you have grown tired of eating dove and rabbit.
[/quote]

As long as he serves Father Photius his favorite dishes.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 18, 2009 07:05PM)
When you bake a cake in your hat to see if it really tastes ok...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 19, 2009 08:51AM)
When a health insurance company refuses to deal with you because of all your assistants you already put in the hospital.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 19, 2009 10:53AM)
When you think that a mini-convention with the posters to this thread would be a fun idea!!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 19, 2009 01:45PM)
That is a great idea, Tabman.
Message: Posted by: Sixten (Jul 19, 2009 02:17PM)
When you hear about an upcoming: "L.L." convention, and make a hotel reservation. After arriving, you find out "L.L." stands for: "Leche League". And you still try to get in, to work the room.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 19, 2009 02:29PM)
When you and James decide to name the convention [i]You know you're spending too Much Time with Magic when you Go to this Convention Convention[/i].
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 19, 2009 08:24PM)
When you have nervous break downs when you hear the word "magic."
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 19, 2009 08:28PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-19 21:24, Dynamike wrote:
When you have nervous break downs when you hear the word "magic."
[/quote]
(That is the most profound statement made in this thread to date).

When dime to penny is no longer a trick but what you have left from your show fee after taxes.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 19, 2009 11:07PM)
When you hear the word "magic", and you say "Slowly I turn. Inch by inch..."
Message: Posted by: Sixten (Jul 20, 2009 08:56AM)
When, while stopped @ a DWI checkpoint, you are given a 'balloon' test and you hand
the officer a French Poodle.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 20, 2009 11:14AM)
Or your business card appears inside.

(They hand me a wallet size chart showing how much I can drink and I hand them a postcard showing them I do "Just say no shows".)... then tell them to call.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 20, 2009 12:10PM)
When you realize that everyone you know is a Magician and there's nobody left to fool anymore.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 20, 2009 12:54PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-19 15:29, tabman wrote:
When you and James decide to name the convention [i]You know you're spending too Much Time with Magic when you Go to this Convention Convention[/i].
[/quote]

When you are contemplating whether to set up a new website and call it YouKnowYouAreSpendingTooMuchTimeWithMagic.com so you can get some buddies to hang out there.
Message: Posted by: RodHousley (Jul 20, 2009 01:27PM)
When your kid (20 months) out grows the baby crib and you design an illusion with it. Those are just he legs I have been needing!
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 20, 2009 01:35PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-20 14:27, RodHousley wrote:
When your kid (20 months) out grows the baby crib and you design an illusion with it. Those are just he legs I have been needing!
[/quote]

When you think this sounds like the start to a good sized [i]Rabbit to Kid[/i] illusion.... or is that [i]Kid to Rabbit[/i]?

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 20, 2009 01:47PM)
When you sit down to send a quick email to Gay Blackstone and realize that you started it, "Dear Nani,".
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 20, 2009 02:44PM)
When Father Photius, Jay Leslie, Dynamike, and tabman buy my plane ticket, and we fly to Malasia to meet James Tong...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 20, 2009 03:27PM)
When you quit listening to Dynamike's advice.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 20, 2009 04:48PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-20 15:44, joseph wrote:
When Father Photius, Jay Leslie, Dynamike, and tabman buy my plane ticket, and we fly to Malasia to meet James Tong...
[/quote]

When you wish you were a member of the wealthy elite so you could do the above trip with your internet friends.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 20, 2009 04:58PM)
When you realize it would be a whole lot cheaper to fly James Tong to Las Vegas and we all just meet him there. (Not to mention a lot more fun)
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 20, 2009 05:23PM)
So true!! But as long as Im dreaming Id rather dream about going to Malaysia. I've aleady been to Vegas.

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 20, 2009 05:33PM)
How about seeing if he can just levitate himself?
Message: Posted by: Sixten (Jul 20, 2009 05:42PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-20 15:44, joseph wrote:
When Father Photius, Jay Leslie, Dynamike, and tabman buy my plane ticket, and we fly to Malasia to meet James Tong...
[/quote]

When, before leaving for Kuala Lumpur, you have to charter a cargo plane.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 20, 2009 10:12PM)
When you look at your social security income forcasts and start to budget for magic conventions.
Message: Posted by: Zaprig1 (Jul 20, 2009 11:57PM)
When you're "looking for dove in alllllll the wrong places!!!" ;)

Ha.....don't get mad at me when you're singing it tomorrow either!!!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 21, 2009 02:51AM)
When you levitate your wive into a tree when she is having a period.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 21, 2009 10:22AM)
You wear your chinese robe to dinner...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 21, 2009 10:38AM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-21 00:57, Zaprig1 wrote:
When you're "looking for dove in alllllll the wrong places!!!" ;)[/quote]

When the above "when" is posted and you played in the band that had the real song on the radio in 1980.

This is just too spooky. Im outa here.

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 21, 2009 11:39AM)
When a female buys blue sponge balls, and next week, they are red.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 21, 2009 12:13PM)
When you purchase every music copy of "Magic Bus" that you can find for obvious reasons...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 21, 2009 12:24PM)
Why practice "Torn & Restored Newspaper" in the shower.

[quote]
On 2009-07-21 13:24, Dynamike wrote:
Why practice "Torn & Restored Newspaper" in the shower.
[/quote]
-Edit-

When you practice "Torn & Restored Newspaper" in the shower.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 21, 2009 04:10PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-20 18:42, Sixten wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-07-20 15:44, joseph wrote:
When Father Photius, Jay Leslie, Dynamike, and tabman buy my plane ticket, and we fly to Malasia to meet James Tong...
[/quote]

When, before leaving for Kuala Lumpur, you have to charter a cargo plane.
[/quote]

When you are thrilled to see your friends popping over to Malaysia.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 21, 2009 04:13PM)
When you use 50 elephants in your act.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 21, 2009 04:24PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-21 17:13, Dynamike wrote:
When you use 50 elephants in your act.
[/quote]

... and get stampeded even before your performance starts.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 21, 2009 04:28PM)
My bad. I meant to put 40.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 21, 2009 04:47PM)
Wih 40 elephants you still get stampeded and will never survive it :bg:
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 21, 2009 04:53PM)
When you realize that this thread has reduced James and Dynamike to doing Elephant jokes.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 21, 2009 04:54PM)
When you realized that there is not enough time to do everything related to magic.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 21, 2009 06:57PM)
When you go to your show early so you have extra time to replace the rope in your Break Away Wand and move all the chairs into a semi-circle and do a 4 corner sound-check on your wireless microphone but forget to use a new bag on your Neilsen's Bottle and end up causing the show to start three minuets late while you run to the car to get a new bag but you left your wireless microphone on, and everyone could hear you muttering to yourself, what an idiot you are for not having a new bag as you run breathlessly and try to get back before the warm-up music is over..... only to find that NONE of the people you asked to "keep out of the isle" listened to you and now you have to step over people so you can start the show.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 21, 2009 07:54PM)
When what happened to Jay happens to you three times a day.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 21, 2009 09:04PM)
When you become a better magician than Dynamike.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 22, 2009 12:51PM)
When you have saved enough magic catalogs to haul to a recycler and get enough money for a good stage illusion.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 22, 2009 01:04PM)
When you eat "Trix" cereal for dinner.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 22, 2009 02:47PM)
When you keep posting to see your name mentioned.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 22, 2009 02:55PM)
When you keep posting just to be the guest of honor.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 22, 2009 03:24PM)
When you spend 12 hours a day on the Café.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 22, 2009 03:44PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-22 15:47, jay leslie wrote:
When you keep posting to see your name mentioned.
[/quote]

Did you just mentioned my name, Jay? :bg:
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 22, 2009 03:47PM)
When you practice in your sleep.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 22, 2009 03:56PM)
When you sleep during Dynamike's practice.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 22, 2009 04:09PM)
When you think size matters and you start performing with big and hugh items.
Message: Posted by: MagicB1S (Jul 22, 2009 04:12PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-22 16:24, Maloney wrote:
When you spend 12 hours a day on the Café.
[/quote]
And the other 12 wishing you were on the Café
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 22, 2009 04:15PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-22 17:12, MagicB1S wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-07-22 16:24, Maloney wrote:
When you spend 12 hours a day on the Café.
[/quote]
And the other 12 wishing you were on the Café
[/quote]

And the extra one day every four years spent talking with Café friends on the phone.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 22, 2009 05:32PM)
When your only neck tie has the four aces on it.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 22, 2009 07:24PM)
When you saw a large wind chime set at Walgreen's and immediately purchased it on the belief to try to make up your own "Human Xylophone" effect that you saw at the Keith Field's lecture...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 22, 2009 08:31PM)
When you add clubs, spades, and diamonds to your heart boxer shorts...
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 22, 2009 09:03PM)
When you can't resist going into any casino gift shop anywhere to look at all the card related trinkets: key chains, cups, ties, stick pins all with hearts, spades, or various hands of cards. Could any of this be used in a card trick somehow (you're thinking)?
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 22, 2009 09:09PM)
I have a winner!

When you can click your mouse the exact number of times it takes to get to the section you want....
                    any section you want...
and... every section you want... without effort!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 22, 2009 09:22PM)
When you are willing to fight someone for calling it a trick.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 22, 2009 09:34PM)
When your willing to fight to the death when someone, out of nowhere, says they know how all magic is done and don't be sad if he figures out all of your tricks?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 22, 2009 09:37PM)
When people from other countries become members on the Café.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 23, 2009 02:22PM)
When you secretly load silver dollars inside dinner rolls just so you can break one open and find money.
(and hope everyone else will grab a roll and try for themselves)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 23, 2009 02:26PM)
When you are seen dressed up with shirts, tie, jackets, etc have all kinds of card designs on them.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 23, 2009 02:29PM)
When you decide to have your check for your fee hidden ala Kreskin and after 50 performances still haven't found one.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 23, 2009 02:48PM)
When after performing 500 free shows and you get a check for $100 for your 501st performance you think it is time to go big time in the magic show business.
Message: Posted by: MagicB1S (Jul 23, 2009 03:55PM)
You go to buy a wedding ring and you convince your bride to be that the pk ring is the one you like
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 23, 2009 04:11PM)
When your bride slips a PK ring on YOUR finger!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 23, 2009 06:23PM)
You keep buying magic tricks, hoping the next one will be really done by magic...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 23, 2009 07:40PM)
You make false compartments inside of other false compartments.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 23, 2009 07:58PM)
When you don't own a coat that doesn't have a card clip.
Message: Posted by: MagicB1S (Jul 23, 2009 08:54PM)
It takes ten seconds to get dressed and another ten minutes to put everything into the correct pocket
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 23, 2009 09:16PM)
When you can't find your keys in your pocket for all the magic props.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 23, 2009 09:44PM)
When you spend $100 a week in playing cards.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 24, 2009 02:36AM)
When everything you pick up, you think it is a magic trick.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 24, 2009 12:08PM)
When you wake up, in the middle of the night and think your in an old spooky museum only to realize that you fell asleep again at your warehouse.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 24, 2009 12:21PM)
When you are about to throw away an old telephone and you suddenly start thinking "I wonder if I can turn this into some sort of mentalism trick.."
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 24, 2009 01:04PM)
When you insist in marrying a female magician.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 24, 2009 02:49PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-24 14:04, Dynamike wrote:
When you insist in marrying a female magician.
[/quote]

... and get divorced 6 months later :bg:
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 24, 2009 03:22PM)
And your 7 kids are already working as roadies in your show.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 24, 2009 03:31PM)
... and you don't have freedom to buy props so freely and so frequently :bg:
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 24, 2009 03:34PM)
When you stay up until day light practicing a sleight.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 24, 2009 03:39PM)
When you spend hours trying to understand how a trick work through instructions that do not have any photo illustrations.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 24, 2009 05:15PM)
You mean like Emerson and West's Wild Card where they write "do a DT then..." And you wonder... What is a DT? Or like Nick Trost's instructions... Or half of Grants? or every single instruction by Sherm who must have thought that paper cost more them gold so he printed match book sized instructions that were about 30 paragraphs too short?

Is that what you were referring to< James?..
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 24, 2009 05:47PM)
When your wife says to you, "You better get your wand out of my face."
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 24, 2009 08:06PM)
Or she's not sure if she wants you to touch her after performing the Dirty Hand Gag.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 24, 2009 08:22PM)
When you are traveling around all the forums to be recognized as the guest of honor.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 24, 2009 08:42PM)
When you find the Japanese instructions to the trick make more sense than the English instructions.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 24, 2009 08:45PM)
When you stop buying the ones made in USA.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 24, 2009 08:48PM)
When you dream you are locked in Jay Leslie's sub trunk and can't get out.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 24, 2009 08:53PM)
When you know how to imagine to hang from a jacket, but do not know how to imagine to get down.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 24, 2009 08:55PM)
When you dream you show up to do a show and find out that Dynamike is already on ahead of you.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 24, 2009 09:05PM)
When you have nightmares a guy with a gray beard wearing a gown is always watching you.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 24, 2009 09:33PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-24 22:05, Dynamike wrote:
When you have nightmares a guy with a gray beard wearing a gown is always watching you.
[/quote]
(That's no dream!)

When you haven't picked up a prop in 30 years, one day find it and immediately launch into the old routine without missing a beat.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 25, 2009 12:52AM)
When the roofs in your house is COVERED with cards. Yet you have not onced performed the Card on Cieling.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 25, 2009 02:33AM)
When you refuse to take off your top hat in court.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 25, 2009 06:02AM)
You get arrested on purpose just to see if your new set of lock picks work...
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 25, 2009 07:47AM)
When you refuse to "put the cards away" in church.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 25, 2009 09:31AM)
When you know both the judge and the preacher from weekly Magic club meetings.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 25, 2009 09:47AM)
You move to India to practice floating...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 25, 2009 11:16AM)
When you have been in your strait jacket for 10 days continually.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 25, 2009 11:37AM)
When you sleep hanging upside down in your straight jacket.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 25, 2009 12:11PM)
When a magician does not know the difference from a straitjacket and a straight jacket.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 25, 2009 12:19PM)
Or a gay jacket
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 25, 2009 12:27PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-25 13:11, Dynamike wrote:
When a magician does not know the difference from a straitjacket and a straight jacket.
[/quote]

;)

When you bow to a higher authority but still wonder, is it a "strait jacket" or "straitjacket?"
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 25, 2009 12:31PM)
Or is it the RJOM!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 25, 2009 12:39PM)
When you spend more talking to your magic tricks than your wife.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 25, 2009 01:00PM)
When you actually talk to your magic.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 25, 2009 01:26PM)
When you try copying Dynamike's ring routine.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 25, 2009 01:47PM)
When you can actually copy it...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 25, 2009 03:01PM)
When you start a new thread and hope it can go 200 pages.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 25, 2009 04:04PM)
When you post "everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask" in the new thread.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 25, 2009 07:15PM)
When you fall out of bed while dreaming about the straightjacket escape...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 25, 2009 07:25PM)
When you spend an hour trying to totally reverse a coin routine to see if it will work well that way and finally give up because it doesn't.
Message: Posted by: stempleton (Jul 25, 2009 07:52PM)
...when you choose the size eggs you want in the grocery store by palming one or two first.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 25, 2009 09:31PM)
When you palm EVERYTHING in you put in your shopping cart while getting groceries.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 25, 2009 09:39PM)
When you crack open a few eggs at checkout and pull out gold quarter eagles from each one and start a run on eggs.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 26, 2009 02:26AM)
When you try walking on water at an ocean full of sharks.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 26, 2009 05:25AM)
When you fan your credit cards, and tell the cashier, "Pick a card, any card."...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 26, 2009 07:37AM)
When you tell someone you can perform black magic.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 26, 2009 11:44AM)
When you buy suits 3 sizes bigger so you can load-up all your pockets.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 26, 2009 12:25PM)
When the only jacket you own is a straight jacket.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 26, 2009 12:39PM)
Or one with too much starch in it.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 26, 2009 12:44PM)
When you spend a million dollar in buying magic tricks.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 26, 2009 01:31PM)
When you regularly make sure that your props are squeeky clean with no finger prints on them.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 26, 2009 03:10PM)
When you can't floss your teeth without doing a Gypsy Thread routine.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 26, 2009 03:50PM)
When you are performing 24/7.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 26, 2009 04:47PM)
When you tell everyone that your schedule is always booked solid Saturday and Sunday but Ta Da... Here you are.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 26, 2009 07:11PM)
When you leave for a show forgetting to turn off your computer.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 26, 2009 07:13PM)
When you sit in the "library" you can't help doing torn and restored TP.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 26, 2009 08:46PM)
When you freak if someone touches your linking rings, saying "I don't want your finger prints on them?! They were $300?!".
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 26, 2009 08:49PM)
When you need a "donut" to sit on, because of all your posting.

(Notice the verbiage is in the accusatory, as in... I do not need a donut, but you do. It's not aimed at anyone in particular... unless that's all you do is sit there and post all day...... which would make those with large numbers more prone to using a donut..... but then again..... if you were prone, you wouldn't need a donut).
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 26, 2009 08:53PM)
When you have to think for a hour about what you want to place in this thread.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 26, 2009 09:04PM)
(Hey! Who swiped my dounut?)

When you feel the need for something bland and come to this thread.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 26, 2009 09:10PM)
( :donut4: )
When your brain is filled with nothing but magic from A to Z.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 26, 2009 09:14PM)
When after reading this thread you start to dream up the vanishing doughnut trick.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 26, 2009 09:20PM)
When you accidentally convinced your to say to you each night, "You are not getting in this bed without your wand."
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 27, 2009 09:52AM)
When you wake up because you feel "something" digging into your back, only to find it being you pen through dollar.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 27, 2009 11:16AM)
When you palm a coin all night just so you can say you did it.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 27, 2009 12:02PM)
When you take your 1 year old to a magic school.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 27, 2009 12:21PM)
When you've been in magic so long that you start to think of how you can use your cane, false teeth, and hearing aid in your act.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 27, 2009 12:48PM)
When you must take your tricks to a car wash to get the dust off of them.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 27, 2009 01:39PM)
When you finally went around doing your house cleaning chores and end up with more junks back in the house.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 27, 2009 02:11PM)
When you sleep in your sub trunk.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 27, 2009 02:17PM)
When you practice magic 24/7.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 27, 2009 02:20PM)
When you only have 8 feet by 8 feet free space in your house as your props have taken up space everywhere.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 27, 2009 02:30PM)
When you keep your eyes off your sexy assistants by watching the props instead.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 27, 2009 02:52PM)
When you're reading through this thread just before leaving to take your 87 year old Mom out for a few beers and a birthday celebration with the rest of the family.
Message: Posted by: MagicB1S (Jul 27, 2009 02:59PM)
When you goto walmart to do some shopping and the people in line behind you ask if you can do a trick for there kids......
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 27, 2009 03:30PM)
When you lay on the beach, still wearing your tux...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 27, 2009 04:42PM)
When after your bail is posted the police property dept returns to you the items you had on you when arrested: 4 sponge balls, one coin purse clasp (no bag), two hollow artifical thumbs, strange coinage (which the treasury dept tells us isn't illegal after all), two wads of dental floss, one torn paper napkin (wadded up), one untorn paper napkin (wadded up), one ace of spades, and two ticket stubs to Mac King show.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 27, 2009 04:52PM)
When you take your Perfect Time for a battery replacement and make up some kind of a story about how you're inventing YIFI for your watch.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 27, 2009 06:55PM)
When you use flash paper to light a cigarette.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 27, 2009 06:59PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-27 19:55, Dynamike wrote:
When you use flash paper to light a cigarette.
[/quote]

I like this one so much I'd like to add:

When you roll your own out of flash paper!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 27, 2009 07:12PM)
When you change your phone number to 255-252-9266
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 27, 2009 09:34PM)
When you carry silks around your neck to the store, forgetting they were there from a practice session.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 27, 2009 09:48PM)
When you show up at Walmart in a straightjacket because you forgot to take it off after practicing.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 28, 2009 05:39AM)
When you hold out your hand helping Photius enter a special club.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 28, 2009 09:58AM)
When you find sponge balls in your soup.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 28, 2009 10:28AM)
When you wake up with your assistant in your wife's bed.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 28, 2009 11:23AM)
When you wake up and you're in bed with one of your tigers!
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 28, 2009 12:30PM)
When you hold up a convienience store with swords from your sword suspension.

No, I never did that. ;)
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 28, 2009 12:51PM)
When you show up to do a program at a high school and there is a kid sitting in the office wearing a pair of handcuffs that he found, but has no key.

So you inquire "Why is that student in those handcuffs" And they answer "We're waiting for the locksmith to come over and remove them".

And you respond "I'll be back in a minute" and you remove the cuffs. And do they thank you Nooooo. It never crosses their mind. They are too busy berating the kid.
- - - - -

Anything that can happen usually does.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 28, 2009 12:54PM)
When you are happy to see Jay having the VIP status below his avatar.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 28, 2009 02:06PM)
Yes, absolutely.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 28, 2009 04:10PM)
When you know that Mackinaw Island, where cars are not even allowed (only horses) has not only one, but two small magic shops now... That you know supposedly where the Tora Magic products are made... That you know of at least one person personally who is right now at FISM... That you have magic music on your cell phone ready to go if you are ever asked to do something "Imprompto" (so you can have background music for your Poker Matrix routine you always carry with you at all times)... That your cell phone ring tone has something to do with magic... That your wife has a complete set of red and black outfits so she will look "magical" sitting with you at Abbott's on their gym floor folding chairs... That you always too have at least one set of sponge balls with you at all times... That you read a complete article about Cooperfield Bay even though you'll never have the money to go anywhere near there... That you know Thayer's first name... That when someone says "Davenport" you do not think of a couch... These are all indications that you spend too much time with magic...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 28, 2009 05:02PM)
When you know that [i]MagicBus[/i] is not only a [i]Who[/i] song but also a real person who happens to be a Magician who knows a lot.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 28, 2009 05:48PM)
When you try to do a trick with your computer.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 28, 2009 05:53PM)
When you spend two hours trying to discover the secret to the vanishing sock in the dryer trick.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 28, 2009 06:12PM)
When you climb in the drier and have someone lock it.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 28, 2009 07:41PM)
When you try and be like David Copperfield.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 28, 2009 08:58PM)
When you keep repeating your older posts in these forums.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 28, 2009 08:59PM)
When you almost smash the TV when you see Criss Angel.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 28, 2009 09:03PM)
When you can't remember the name "Angel" but you can remember "Sarantakos".
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 28, 2009 10:25PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-28 22:03, Father Photius wrote:
When you can't remember the name "Angel" but you can remember "Sarantakos".
[/quote]

Ahh, yes.

When someone says levitation and Criss in the same sentence you punch them square in the face.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 28, 2009 10:35PM)
(No, I'm a pacifist. Cross me and I will pacifist right across your mouth.)

When you suddenly realize the reason you are having trouble doing a trick is because you are using the props for another trick.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 28, 2009 10:39PM)
When you try and challenge Dynamike in a linking rings contest?
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 29, 2009 10:20AM)
When you beat Dynamike in a linking rings contest.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 29, 2009 10:28AM)
When you'd even know what a Linking Rings contest is?
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 29, 2009 10:55AM)
When you made up linking rings contest in the first place.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 29, 2009 11:11AM)
When you own 13 (count them thirteen) sets of linking rings and every one of them is different.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 29, 2009 11:37AM)
When you own 7 TT's.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 29, 2009 01:04PM)
Or 70
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 29, 2009 01:22PM)
Or 300 decks of cards.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 29, 2009 01:32PM)
Or 300 decks of cards and they're all used up.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 29, 2009 01:40PM)
Or 300 decks of cards that are incomplete.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 29, 2009 01:47PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-28 17:10, MagicBus wrote:
That you have magic music on your cell phone ready to go if you are ever asked to do something "Imprompto" (so you can have background music for your Poker Matrix routine you always carry with you at all times)... ..
[/quote]

What a great idea. Now I have to get a new phone.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 29, 2009 01:53PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-29 14:47, jay leslie wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-07-28 17:10, MagicBus wrote:
That you have magic music on your cell phone ready to go if you are ever asked to do something "Imprompto" (so you can have background music for your Poker Matrix routine you always carry with you at all times)... ..
[/quote]

What a great idea. Now I have to get a new phone.
[/quote]

Hey! That's a good idea too. I'll get the new phone loaded with all kinds of music too :bg:
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 29, 2009 03:15PM)
When you carry a sound system in your pocket.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 29, 2009 03:22PM)
When you keep your lunch in your topit.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 29, 2009 03:30PM)
When you practice with your topit as you are shoplifting.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 29, 2009 03:32PM)
When you wear a topit in every jacket you have, even a sports jacket.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 29, 2009 03:35PM)
When you are too nervous to show your face on your avatar.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 29, 2009 03:44PM)
That every time you eat a dill pickle, you offer up a prayer that Dean Dill beats his cancer (and that is a sad note)... That you know the guy on the $34 bill sold as part of the "Poker Matrix" trick is a young Jay Marshall... That you are already thinking of all the ways you can force a Seven of Diamonds so you can put it to good use with the new Wenger "Planted" effect... That you have at least three finger choppers: one metal, one wood, and one plastic... That you know which house Tom Mullica lived in while in Colon and working for Abbott's... That you know what city Harry Anderson moved from last and to what new city... That you are excited about seeing the new "Pendragon" (singular) act...That you've walked on the Street of Cards... That when you think of Amethyst, it's not jewelry... That you know who wrote "The Trick Brain"... That you recognized the magician pictured with Britney Spears in People magazine "praying" in a circle before a show... That you still wonder why "Jumbo Sidekick" is priced at $1,530 including shipping... That you know the name of the magician who starred in "The Grim Game"... That you bought a portable cooler from KMart because it looks a lot like a "dump bucket" use can use on stage for your silks and other props... That in addition to The Who, Heart is your favorite group for making "Magic Man." Ah heck, I need to spend more time with magic, not less, it is great fun...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 29, 2009 04:12PM)
When you read all of the above post.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 29, 2009 04:25PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-29 17:12, Dynamike wrote:
When you read all of the above post.
[/quote]

When you read it twice to make sure you didn't miss anything!
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 29, 2009 04:45PM)
Ditto (twice)
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 29, 2009 04:56PM)
When your mom plants your spring flowers.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 29, 2009 05:11PM)
When you talk to your feather flowers.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 29, 2009 05:48PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-29 18:11, Dynamike wrote:
When you talk to your feather flowers.
[/quote]

When they talk back!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 29, 2009 06:02PM)
When you water your feather flowers.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 29, 2009 07:20PM)
When you follow pigons around hoping they loose a feather or two so you can make your own feather flowers!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 29, 2009 08:38PM)
When you watch a black cow give white milk and eat green grass.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 29, 2009 09:09PM)
When you get a call to come bail out Dynamike because he was using his topit to shopt lift.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 29, 2009 09:29PM)
When you have been practicing for 50 years and not performed one show.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 29, 2009 09:31PM)
(LOL, well I've practiced more than 50 years, but have done lots of shows, just not into the showbusiness grind anymore, but that would mean you had been too long in magic, Mike. I have to give you that point!)

When your performing rabbits are so spoiled they refuse to eat iceburg lettece and insist on radicho.
Message: Posted by: Zaprig1 (Jul 29, 2009 10:02PM)
When you've called every hatchery in the tri-state area and end up just asking "Got Doves?" by your 15th call...........
Message: Posted by: Zaprig1 (Jul 29, 2009 10:04PM)
And......when you're certain you own more coin wallets than you've ever owned (or will own) regular. ;)
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 29, 2009 10:05PM)
When you have a house of over 500 rabbits.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 29, 2009 10:15PM)
When you believe that Dynamike has over 500 rabbits.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 29, 2009 10:27PM)
When you walk out a house with bird poo all over you.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 29, 2009 11:43PM)
And then discover you don't own a bird.

When you sleep with the zoo. Dang, is that my wife!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 12:33AM)
When you have an average of over 30 post a day on the Café.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 30, 2009 01:35AM)
When you stay up late hoping to post just one more after Dynamike has posted.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 02:14AM)
(well why do you do it too?)

When you are still posting even though Magicoftomh, Kyle, Jocdoc, Stoneunhinged, Harris, Larry Bean and John Heggie quit posting in this forum.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 30, 2009 06:11AM)
When your doorbell sounds like linking rings crashing together...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 06:46AM)
When you are playing the 3 card monte on an undercover police officer.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 30, 2009 10:38AM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-30 07:46, Dynamike wrote:
When you are playing the 3 card monte on an undercover police officer.
[/quote]

And you take his money!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 10:55AM)
(use it to bail out of jail)

When you feel like a kid when you are performing.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 30, 2009 11:00AM)
When you escape from jail and you aren't Jay Leslie.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 11:03AM)
(or Dynamike)

When you bet the 3 shell game on 1st graders.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 30, 2009 11:22AM)
When you walk around with a fake egg in one pocket and a real one in the other.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 12:11PM)
When you know every word in each book of your magic library by heart.
Message: Posted by: Zaprig1 (Jul 30, 2009 12:47PM)
Or you hum the tunes on main menus of your DVDs........
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 12:48PM)
When you get your clown and dress shoes mixed up.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 30, 2009 01:00PM)
When you don't have any shoes.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 01:04PM)
When you book your shows through church services.
Message: Posted by: Sixten (Jul 30, 2009 01:05PM)
When, during the Homily at '"Palm" Sunday' mass, you have to break out & refine your "C/S" routine.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 01:16PM)
When you replace "amen" with "abracadabra" in your prayers.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 30, 2009 01:24PM)
When you forget to take off ruber cement from your body and your girlfriend is coming over..
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 01:43PM)
When you do not know how to spell "rubber."
Message: Posted by: Sixten (Jul 30, 2009 01:45PM)
When, while at the mall, you are constantly stopping in front of a store's window, that reflects, so you can analyze your "Retention Pass".
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 01:47PM)
When you have the patience to watch Photius perform a show.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 30, 2009 02:11PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-30 14:16, Dynamike wrote:
When you replace "amen" with "abracadabra" in your prayers.
[/quote]

When you don't think you can top this one unless it's Hocus Pocus!!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 30, 2009 02:34PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-30 14:47, Dynamike wrote:
When you have the patience to watch Photius perform a show.
[/quote]

Which act are you refering to? :bg:
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 03:20PM)
When you stayed up all night posting on the Café.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 30, 2009 05:24PM)
When being delirious from no sleep actually makes you funny.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 05:52PM)
When you are willing to perform an animal act in front of PETA.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 30, 2009 06:07PM)
When you think that Dynamike is actually two people who just converged moments ago.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 06:26PM)
When you have a seizure from watching a magic show.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 30, 2009 06:50PM)
When you get a bright idea to build showcases to replace the showcases you threw out, 3 years ago
then
move all the close-up stuff into the back room and all the stage into the front, where it was 3 years ago
then
after you built one case you realize why it was a bad idea to begin with but now you're stuck because you bought 300 in glass and already cut it.

It's times like this when I wish I just sold cards.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 30, 2009 07:10PM)
When you write every idea, but never do it.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 30, 2009 10:08PM)
Then NOT doing every idea, is also an idea (by itself) proving that.... if it was an after-thought ....

you really didn't write every idea, in the first place.

(I don't want anyone to think that I'm splitting hares..... because I'm more of a dove worker BUT... if you want me to split hares then please just buy me a second bunny that matches the first.)
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 30, 2009 10:10PM)
When you have just spent more than an hour trying to think of "plant" jokes and googling on the internet for "fern" jokes because you just purchased "Planted"... That you just bought a new larger car today through the "cash for clunkers" program so you have more trunk space to haul your magic around in... That you have Michael Close's joke CD in your car... That you send your kid to magic camp... That you know what city in Michigan was featured on a sticker from Doug Henning's Substitution Trunk of The Magic Show... That you know what companies Arturo worked for (and you saw him perform live years ago)... That you bring a magic book or magazine with you when you know you might have to be waiting in a waiting room for more than 5 minutes... That you know Mike Miller's real first name... That you know that it is not Dollywood that makes Pigeon Forge next week a great place to visit... That you wish you had a toe switch... That you have done an imprompto Miser's Dream routine using a borrowed plastic pitcher from a restaurant waitress... That you have a bunch of rigged sugar packets in your pocket everytime you go out to eat... That you use real $100 bills in your Slow Burn routine... That you have more thimbles than your grandmother ever had... That your only Twitter partner is the S.A.M.... That you wish you could do some kind of magic routine from the final music Tango scene of "True Lies"... That you have placed coins on Blackstone's grave... That Jeff McBride has taught you more from his magic DVDs than you learned probably taking any foreign language class in college... That your kid really wants a Colon Magi football jersey... That you know Gene Anderson has a huge new book coming out probably next year... That you have never done a Zarrow shuffle but wish you had... That you know what basketball player used to team up with Harry Lorayne... That you know what city Marlo performed during his later years at... That you have heard of Bob Solari... That you wished you could be in Vegas more just to be at Denny and Lee's... That you'd like to see The Pandora Bag... That you actually considered having some live chicks for the finale of your cups and balls routine... That you wonder if roughing fluid is now availabe in powder form, liquid form, or spray form and what would work best?...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 30, 2009 10:14PM)
When you actually look forward to reading magicbus's long diatribes.
(And even I don't have the stamina to watch one of my shows.)
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 30, 2009 10:37PM)
When you garage has no tools in it, only illusions.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 30, 2009 10:50PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-30 23:10, MagicBus wrote:
. That you actually considered having some live chicks for the finale of your cups and balls routine......
[/quote]

Those have to be some very large cups, sir.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 30, 2009 11:08PM)
When you have considered scoops of ice cream for your final loads in cubs and balls, but can't figure out how to keep it from melting before you get to use it as a load.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jul 30, 2009 11:28PM)
When you know that Arturo had something to do with Glen or Babs or some name like that... That you considered a magic tatoo but then knew you could not make it vanish... That you'd chew your fingernails except you don't like the taste of fanning powder... That you have at least three pieces of magic related jewelry... That all your work suitcoats have IBM or SAM lapel pins... That you know the day Houdini died... That you have a T-Shirt that reads "Waste of Talent"... That you have your own clothes when you go to a costume party... That you wish you had a rabbit hood ornament on your car... That you know and accurately predict that every time Kreskin is on tv he says something like "When I was on Regis for the 100th time" or "Johnny and Ed loved this..." or "As I said to Mike Douglas and Zsa Zsa Gabor when I read their minds..." That your favorite corporation is Magic, Inc... That you've said these cliche lines at least 10 times: "If I told you, I'd have to kill you..." or "Can you keep a secret? Well so can I" or "How'd I Do It?, Very Well, Thank You"... That you can hear Mark Wilson's soothing voice pattern in your head... That your favorite cookie is Fig Newtons for obvious reasons... That your office version of "Snowstorm" involves "White Out"... That you have a metal thumb tip... That you read Steve Martin's entire biography just because he started out doing magic... ditto for Johnny Carson's... That you recognize Ricky Jay everytime he shows up in a movie such as the nondescript guy running the diner... That you remember Ricky Jay throwing cards through three sheets of newspaper... That you've had to duck from a thrown card from McBride... That you put Bicycle cards in your bike spokes... That you've seen Blackstone, Jr. float a bulb over the audience- the bright light still burns in your brain... That you are so very happy to chat and blather on and on about magic with others online...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 31, 2009 12:14AM)
When you enjoy reading MagicBus' post.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 31, 2009 06:57AM)
When you spend 2 hours per day practicing kissing your doves...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 31, 2009 07:02AM)
When you wait hours at night for someone else to post in this forum.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 31, 2009 07:21AM)
When you can do 2 bowling balls in the hand, 1 in the pocket...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 31, 2009 07:41AM)
When you read your magic books in college.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 31, 2009 09:04AM)
When you can perform 2 hours with a note pad and pencil.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 31, 2009 09:34AM)
When you go to bed with magic props in your hand.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 31, 2009 11:01AM)
You marry a girl named Nani Copperfield...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 31, 2009 11:04AM)
When you simply outline a new Magic act and promptly get yourself booked on the music festival circuit after you're 60.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 31, 2009 11:17AM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-31 08:21, joseph wrote:
When you can do 2 bowling balls in the hand, 1 in the pocket...
[/quote]

I have a shell for a bowling ball, so I can do that but I need bigger pockets.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 31, 2009 11:45AM)
(come on, use your head)

When you have to travel far away (2-3 hours) on Friday to a convention. Next back back to perform. Next travel back to the convention on Saturday. Next travel back to perform.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 31, 2009 12:06PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-31 12:17, jay leslie wrote:
I have a shell for a bowling ball, so I can do that but I need bigger pockets.
[/quote]

When you think Jay Leslie would look cool wearing some of those big baggie low rider pants with huge pockets.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 31, 2009 12:10PM)
As if he did not perform his jail escape correctly.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 31, 2009 12:12PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-31 13:10, Dynamike wrote:
As if he did not perform his jail escape correctly.
[/quote]

When you don't understand the above statement.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 31, 2009 12:18PM)
When you do understand the above statement on my side of town.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 31, 2009 01:03PM)
Thanks for explaining that to me.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 31, 2009 01:27PM)
Being in jail with no belt to hold up the inmates' pants is the motive that started the saggy pants dress style. I think Jay would look cute in them. His explanation line could be "As you can see my last attempt to escape out of a jail cell took longer than I expected. Ya kno' wha' I'm say'n?"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 31, 2009 01:44PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-31 12:01, joseph wrote:
You marry a girl named Nani Copperfield...
[/quote]

When my wife decided to change her name to Nani Tong :bg:
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 31, 2009 01:48PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-31 14:27, Dynamike wrote:
Being in jail with no belt to hold up the inmates' pants is the motive that started the saggy pants dress style. I think Jay would look cute in them. His explanation line could be "As you can see my last attempt to escape out of a jail cell took longer than I expected. Ya kno' wha' I'm say'n?"
[/quote]

That's good and funny too. I get it now. I haven't been in jail since the 60s and didn't know.

When you get it by the second try.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 31, 2009 02:10PM)
I wonder what the time frame between the first attempt and the last attempt is.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 31, 2009 02:17PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-31 14:03, tabman wrote:
Thanks for explaining that to me.
[/quote]

Since you understand it... could you explain it to the rest of the class?
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 31, 2009 02:19PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-31 15:17, jay leslie wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-07-31 14:03, tabman wrote:
Thanks for explaining that to me.
[/quote]

Since you understand it... could you explain it to the rest of the class?
[/quote]

That's a good one, Jay :rotf:
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 31, 2009 02:33PM)
I've got to stop reading this stuff. It's giving me a complex.

Dynamike thinks I would look cute with saggy pants and tabman wants me to carry my big balls in my pants.

What's next RPOM ?
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 31, 2009 02:45PM)
When everybody's assistant is changing their first name to "Nani".
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 31, 2009 03:24PM)
[quote]
On 2009-07-31 15:33, jay leslie wrote:
I've got to stop reading this stuff. It's giving me a complex.

Dynamike thinks I would look cute with saggy pants and tabman wants me to carry my big balls in my pants.

What's next RPOM ?
[/quote]

When we do it only because we know you can take it!!!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 31, 2009 09:29PM)
When you wonder if you could teach a flea to do real magic tricks on small scale so you could have a flea magic show.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 31, 2009 10:20PM)
When you look at a cheese grader and think of all the possibilities.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 31, 2009 10:23PM)
Shredded and restored cheese.

Planting cabbage and razor blades and raising a crop of cole slaw.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 31, 2009 10:25PM)
Eating that cole slaw.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 31, 2009 10:25PM)
When you look at the last two posts and shudder at the possibilites.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 31, 2009 10:28PM)
When you wait here for someone to post.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 31, 2009 10:37PM)
When you realize after all this time the name is Maloney with an M.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 31, 2009 11:04PM)
You didn't know that!
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 31, 2009 11:14PM)
When you are sitting at home laughing knowing that Dynamike is sitting just waiting to see "Eternal Order" appear under Fr. Photius's name and all he will see is "Grammar Host".
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Jul 31, 2009 11:43PM)
When you Photius wishes he will see eternal order and not grammar host.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 1, 2009 02:38AM)
When you buy a trick you are not going to do.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 1, 2009 06:03AM)
When you buy tricks only because they are on sale...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 1, 2009 07:41AM)
When you have not made a penny from a ton of tricks.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Aug 1, 2009 09:44AM)
When you seel tricks that your wife makes you sell.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 1, 2009 11:50AM)
When you have all the tricks, books and accessories available in every version and you sit waiting in anticipation of tomorrow to see what's new.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 1, 2009 02:22PM)
When you can't wait for your next pay check so you can buy more magic.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 1, 2009 06:47PM)
When your dog watches your magic for a treat...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 1, 2009 09:11PM)
When you double book shows for yourself.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Aug 1, 2009 10:03PM)
When you try to do 8 shows a day, just to see if it's possible.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 1, 2009 10:08PM)
When you always have a gig booked on Saturday nights.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 2, 2009 06:22AM)
And Sunday mornings...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 2, 2009 07:55AM)
When you name all your children after popular magicians.
Message: Posted by: 1906Alpha1906 (Aug 2, 2009 08:00AM)
When you are sitting in church and playing with d-lites when the lights go dim......
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Aug 2, 2009 09:19AM)
When you talk to your cards.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 2, 2009 09:30AM)
And especially when your cards talk back and you listen to them.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 2, 2009 11:14AM)
When you keep buying new DVDs of the same old card tricks
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 2, 2009 12:00PM)
The library in your den consists of all magic books...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 2, 2009 12:17PM)
The library, the bathroom, the kitchen, your office, the garage, the entrance, under the dining room table and most of the living room and under the front seat of your car, and above the visor and in the side pocket of the car and your suits, all 12 of them. Oh, Under you bed and in the linen closet and the oven which you use for duplicates. n the winter you use them for snow shoes. You stapled a bunch together as a step stool. There's a soft-bound under a table leg. And you even use them to hold your car up when you change a tire.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 2, 2009 02:11PM)
When you have one of Kozak's hand-me-down tux jackets complete with all the extra stitchery in your closet.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 2, 2009 02:49PM)
When you wake up in the middle of the night and start performing for the dog.
Message: Posted by: Sixten (Aug 2, 2009 05:22PM)
When you wake up in the middle of the night and there's your dog performing for you.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 2, 2009 09:02PM)
When you slow down your posting after reaching 10,000.
Message: Posted by: Zaprig1 (Aug 2, 2009 10:50PM)
When you wake in the middle of the night swinging in the air because you were just punching someone's stupid looking mask AND jaw loose.........
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 3, 2009 12:15AM)
When you go crazy over your first performance.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 3, 2009 12:02PM)
When you go crazy after your last performance.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 3, 2009 12:11PM)
When magic and performing have driven you crazy.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 3, 2009 01:38PM)
When you have driven all the other Magicians crazy!
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 3, 2009 01:56PM)
And charged them per mile.

Posted: Aug 3, 2009 2:57pm
When you go to Holland and instead of wearing wooden shoes you wear Drawer Boxes.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 3, 2009 02:22PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-03 14:57, jay leslie wrote:
When you go to Holland and instead of wearing wooden shoes you wear Drawer Boxes.
[/quote]

When you decide that this may be the best one of all times!!!

That one got me. ;)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 3, 2009 03:04PM)
That is a real funny one too.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 3, 2009 03:44PM)
They say that when two people know each other long enough they start to look like each other.... Right - Father Photius?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 3, 2009 05:40PM)
(it looks like Dynamike is turning into Michael Jackson with a beard.)

When Photius catches a sun tan from doing too much street busking.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 3, 2009 06:29PM)
When your office desktop mousepad is still the "Magic At Your Fingertips" pad that has the various shops and manufacturers web sites on it (came free with MAGIC magazine a few years ago?)... When you inform non-magicians of your web site http://www.christianmagician.org even though they don't give a rat's tail about magic... That you "straightened out" a perfectly good Jumbo Invisible Bicycle deck because you needed a larger deck of cards to force the Seven of Diamonds for your version of "Planted"... When you can't wait for Abbott's to begin, only two days from now... That "hot trix" to you is a magic site... That you know the spider backdrop frame is very similar to the frame for a blow up camping mattress... That you picked up free products thrown out over the magicians heads by Cresey Products... That you know what a mobius strip is as well as mobiusmagic... That you have at least 5 or 6 music stands, snare drum stands, chrome music stands of all sorts because you hope to attach them to magic tops someday to make more magic tables... That you have at least six black and purple velvet Halloween capes that you might use in the future to drape over your magic stands... That you have at least three reels, none of which work very well with "The Serpentine Silk"... That you wonder how Dale Salwak does the "Serpentine Silk" so effortlessly... That you wonder how David Blaine would do performing magic at a birthday party for 10 year olds...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 3, 2009 06:34PM)
When you wear a thump tip on each finger.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 3, 2009 07:37PM)
Then, where would you wear your finger tip?

Don't answer that one.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 3, 2009 08:03PM)
When you wear a toe tip.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 3, 2009 08:11PM)
You put your dirty laundry into a snake basket...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 3, 2009 08:15PM)
When the M, A, G, I, and C letters of your keyboard are worn out.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 3, 2009 09:14PM)
Love that one. When your "Escape" key on your computer has a picture of Houdini...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 3, 2009 09:49PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-03 21:11, joseph wrote:
You put your dirty laundry into a snake basket...
[/quote]

My sword basket is my hamper and I tell the new assistants that it smells funny because it's been sitting for a while. I hand the wise assistants a bottle of 409 but the really smart ones come with their own.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 3, 2009 11:15PM)
When you look at that poster picture that Jay made and start to think, "now didn't I use to do that illusion?_
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 4, 2009 05:04AM)
When you photoshop Dynamike avatars...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 4, 2009 11:21AM)
You use your duck bucket on the farm by showing all the fat chickens a full bucket of seed but not giving it to them... (Puts them on a diet and saves you money).
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 4, 2009 03:40PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-04 00:15, Father Photius wrote:
When you look at that poster picture that Jay made and start to think, "now didn't I use to do that illusion?_
[/quote]

Which illusion, Fr. Photius? :bg:
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 4, 2009 08:04PM)
When its been so long since you did big illusions you can't remember the names of any of the big illusions you did.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 4, 2009 08:06PM)
When you make your girl friend wear a broom harness so you can hook her up to a fence if she drinks too much.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 4, 2009 09:03PM)
You threaten your dog with your flea circus...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 4, 2009 09:12PM)
When you begin to wonder why Congress can make you an officer and a gentleman but can't make you a decent magician?
Message: Posted by: Zaprig1 (Aug 4, 2009 11:57PM)
When you have to constantly remind yourself to move your mag coin holdout from your back to your front pocket when you get in the car so as not to destroy the memory chip in your power driver's seat!!!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 5, 2009 02:45AM)
When you are performing for David Copperfield.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 5, 2009 10:32AM)
When you have so many books the Library Of Congress calls YOU.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 5, 2009 11:29AM)
When you buy the new Dai Vernon compendium book even though you have all the originals tucked away in a box someplace.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 5, 2009 02:32PM)
Your commode is shaped like a thimble...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 5, 2009 08:32PM)
When you get the idea that putting a flush handle on your top hat will help you make things disappear easier.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 5, 2009 10:53PM)
When you use duct tape and coat hangers to make your props.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 6, 2009 10:10AM)
When you keep your bottle tricks in a medicine cabinet.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 6, 2009 10:35AM)
When you play checkers with the checkers from your original Okito Checker Cabinet.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 6, 2009 11:19AM)
When you practice so much that you do not have time to post on the Café.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 6, 2009 12:42PM)
When you realize that you've spent a hundred hours posting in the Now That's Funny section

(Which conversely isn't funny at all)
- - - - - - - -

When your best friends in the world are James, Tabman, Father Photius, Dynamike and Joseph (and coming up from the rear.. now along side.... making a run for it......... Yes. It's Magicbus in a nose to nose finish with the Great Alexander's Poster)

(But you haven't ever met any of them)

- - - - - -

When you buy several thousand dollars of magic to resell, sight unseen,

(And instead of sorting through it, you're posting)

- - - - - - -

When you are Joseph's dry cleaner and you're thinking about joining a magic club so you can get Joseph to pick up his clothes otherwise you won't see him for a month.

- - - - - - - - - -

When you start a rock & roll magic band so you can use magic wands as drum sticks, a Indian rope trick, flute, your left-over Asrah kevlar to make a Sitar and the paper form your shadow box as the skins for your drums. The girls can still wear the same costumes but you need to tone it down a bit or they'll think you're an 80s band... or Dynamike)
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 6, 2009 01:13PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-06 13:42, jay leslie wrote:
When your best friends in the world are James, Tabman, Father Photius, Dynamike and Joseph (and coming up from the rear.. now along side.... making a run for it......... Yes. It's Magicbus in a nose to nose finish with the Great Alexander's Poster)
[/quote]

Yes it's so true, Magic is a great world ain't it?? An example: Pete Biro and I became friends through the pages of Genii Magazine and letters in the 70s and then online on MAGIC! [url]http://mfbtw.com[/url] in the 80s long before we actually met in person over 20 years ago. We still talk online several times a day.

so, let's try one...

When you feel a friendship with the Magicians you named and you, Jay. It would be great to meet up in person but even if we don't, friendship knows no boundries. I always check this thread first just to see what my friends are saying and see if I can get one in there.

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 6, 2009 01:54PM)
Who is this? Oh... It's you Tabman... It's getting cold. Come a little closer, I want to tell you something... It's so cold.... I have just one last request before the lights go out. One last request and I'll never ask you for another favor - Will you please help me get my head out of the refrigerator.. I'm stuck
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 6, 2009 02:00PM)
Holy cow :wow: ... are you still stuck inside, Jay. I told you to use the washing machine but you still insist on using the refrigerator. :bg:
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 6, 2009 02:14PM)
When your first instinct is to help Jay get out of the refrigerator.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 6, 2009 04:20PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-06 15:00, JamesTong wrote:
Holy cow :wow: ... are you still stuck inside, Jay. I told you to use the washing machine but you still insist on using the refrigerator. :bg:
[/quote]

That's Rick Maisel's act http://www.rickmaisel.com/escapes.htm

I heard he "cleans-up" on that one,
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 6, 2009 04:57PM)
When you grow roses in your ball and vase set...
Message: Posted by: Sixten (Aug 6, 2009 06:47PM)
When you purchase extra ball and vase sets and plant them in your backyard, with
the above, hoping that the bees will cross-pollinate them.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 6, 2009 11:03PM)
When after 5 straight days you have received nothing in the mail that isn't magic related.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 7, 2009 01:19AM)
When mold grows on all your tricks.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 7, 2009 11:36AM)
When you've reinvented the Double L for the 100th time.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 7, 2009 01:20PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-07 02:19, Dynamike wrote:
When mold grows on all your tricks.
[/quote]

When you have to pay someone to dust.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 7, 2009 02:05PM)
When you cannot pay someone to dust so you have to dust the props all the time for them to be free from dust.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 7, 2009 02:09PM)
When you save the above dustings and keep them in your woofle dust jar.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 7, 2009 02:16PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-07 15:09, tabman wrote:
When you save the above dustings and keep them in your woofle dust jar.
[/quote]

Thanks, tabman. You just saved me a lot of money from buying original woofle dust. :bg:
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 7, 2009 02:22PM)
Be careful though, it'll make you sneeze!!

Makes me sneeze anyway.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 7, 2009 02:29PM)
:fear: :thanx:
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 7, 2009 03:43PM)
When you sneeze and that bean, you lost last month, flies out your nose.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 7, 2009 09:22PM)
When you're doing your famous beans across routine and can't remember where you hid the extra bean.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 7, 2009 10:04PM)
When you look at a roll of alumiinum foil and think "Impromptu Zombie Ball"
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 7, 2009 11:41PM)
When you look at a roll of aluminum foil and think "aluminum foil hat!"
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 7, 2009 11:55PM)
When you get arrested for pickpocketing.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 8, 2009 06:02AM)
When you get tossed out of church for busking during the Sunday sermon...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 8, 2009 06:22AM)
When you try entertaining a non-magic believing religion.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 8, 2009 06:38AM)
When you eat cereal out of half of your zombie ball..(Frankenberries?)...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 8, 2009 06:56AM)
When you have a closet full of sponges from floor to ceiling. (not including hers)
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 8, 2009 10:10AM)
When you wear a zombie ball as a coconut bra.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 8, 2009 12:37PM)
When you wear aluminum foil around your ankles so the Zoolans don't attack you with their transmorgifier ray gun during your act.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 8, 2009 01:03PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-08 13:37, Father Photius wrote:
When you wear aluminum foil around your ankles so the Zoolans don't attack you with their transmorgifier ray gun during your act.
[/quote]

Fr. Photius, you must be reading 'Calvin and Hobbes' more than magic related info :bg:
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 8, 2009 02:30PM)
When you read magic and science books in church.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 8, 2009 02:35PM)
When you are day dreaming about magic all then time?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 8, 2009 02:40PM)
When you pull a toy gun on a police officer.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 8, 2009 03:27PM)
When you tell the police officer that you can escape from his handcuff blind folded?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 8, 2009 03:43PM)
When you tell a police officer you can catch his bullet with your teeth.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 8, 2009 06:06PM)
When you drive blindfolded.
Message: Posted by: stempleton (Aug 8, 2009 06:52PM)
...when your favorite restaurant starts giving you plastic utensils because you always leave a bent fork from "floating" your knife behind your napkin (true story.)
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 8, 2009 07:53PM)
When your favorite restaurant makes you pay in advance because they've seen the "Watch me disappear" trick, once too often.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 8, 2009 10:14PM)
When your favorite restaurant only serves Magicians and their guests!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 9, 2009 06:20AM)
When you perform the zombie on the radio...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 9, 2009 08:56AM)
When you get your regular underwear mixed up with your magic underwear.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 9, 2009 01:09PM)
When you have long since given up wearing your regular underwear and only wear Magic underwear.
Message: Posted by: Lawrence O (Aug 9, 2009 01:13PM)
[quote]
On 2009-04-28 14:19, Father Photius wrote:
(OK, Jay, stop spying on me!)

When you have doctorates in psychology and theology and every bookcase in your house is full of magic books.
[/quote]

Magic books ARE books on psychology and they deal with reconsidering our human limits to confront them with the infinite of our imaginations (that makes them books of theology at some -admittedly rudimentary- level of analysis)

Don't feel guilty: as you know most of the discovery of Witchcraft is dealing with demons and succubs and this sort of things, and there is still an official exorcist at the Vatican... but he hasn't been told about me (as yet).

:)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 9, 2009 01:40PM)
When you don't even know when and where and from who you bought those magic items that are gathering dust in your house.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 9, 2009 03:37PM)
When you arrive late to a performance from being on the Café too long.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 9, 2009 03:45PM)
No wait... don't go anywhere... You're late, you say.... So what was your first trick.... tell us all abut it? Go into detail, please. We have time.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 9, 2009 10:01PM)
When you are watching a movie preview and it makes you think of Dynamike.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 10, 2009 09:07AM)
When you eat "Trix" only, for every meal.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 10, 2009 11:50AM)
When you sit here for three minutes

Posted: Aug 10, 2009 12:50pm
Then another three

Posted: Aug 10, 2009 12:51pm
Then you realize you don't have anything funny to say till after lunch.

Posted: Aug 10, 2009 12:51pm
But you still sit here anyway.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 10, 2009 11:56AM)
When you post four in a row.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 10, 2009 03:46PM)
When you laugh so hard reading the posts here you just sit and wait for more people to post so you have more good laughs.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 10, 2009 03:55PM)
When you know you are spending too much time with magic.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 10, 2009 04:01PM)
When you have more time for magic than with your friends?
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 10, 2009 04:27PM)
When you have given all your props first names like Chuck and Sparky.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 10, 2009 05:44PM)
Or Oscar
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 10, 2009 08:17PM)
When you read Jay's previous post and decide that you should go name one of your props Oscar.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 10, 2009 08:25PM)
Maybe a deck of cards.... maybe?

Posted: Aug 10, 2009 9:27pm
I think we should start a new thread called "You're not doing enough magic when"

And the first post is
When you can answer your own post because no one else cares.

Hello...


Is this computer on? I thought I heard a handshake signal just a moment ago.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 10, 2009 08:35PM)
When your Ferrari has a rabbit in the hat decal on the hood...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 10, 2009 09:24PM)
When you'll be gone for a few days probably offline until Wednesday night and you don't want to leave your friends at the Café for too long.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 10, 2009 09:34PM)
When you look forward to the Greek Festival because you know that means that TAOM is only one week away.
Message: Posted by: MagicB1S (Aug 10, 2009 09:40PM)
When your wife goes to bed and you tell her you will be right there and a couple of hours later you are still on the Café.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 11, 2009 03:30AM)
When you start hopping like a rabbit.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 11, 2009 10:59AM)
When you pull yourself out of a hat.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 11, 2009 12:44PM)
When you slow down your post from putting so much on the Café.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 11, 2009 01:02PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-10 17:27, tabman wrote:
When you have given all your props first names like Chuck and Sparky.
[/quote]

When I am thinking of giving my balls (those that I have crafted) first names.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 11, 2009 01:20PM)
When you look at a sign that says "Road does not end" and think about this thread.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 11, 2009 01:26PM)
When you are so proud of the magic shop (actually your house full of disorganised props) you think you are owning.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 11, 2009 01:43PM)
When you are posting on the Café while driving missing the sign reading "Dead End".
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 11, 2009 01:51PM)
When you try to answer every post in every thread at the Café.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 11, 2009 01:55PM)
When you practice without reading Dynamike's post first.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 11, 2009 01:57PM)
When you dream you are posting at the Café.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 11, 2009 02:00PM)
When you wake up each hour from having a nightmare dealing with magic.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 11, 2009 02:05PM)
... especially nothing seem to work and everything seem to go very wrong. I would not like to have that kind of nightmare.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 11, 2009 02:09PM)
When you start an act without first crediting Dynamike.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 11, 2009 02:32PM)
When you are magically appearing a complete (edible) meal for some close friends using 25 duck pans and the square circle.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 11, 2009 03:21PM)
When you want help and support others on the Café instead of taking care of personal things.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 11, 2009 03:54PM)
When you look at the clock every 5 min and wonder how much longer until TAOM.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 11, 2009 04:00PM)
You men have been busy today while Ive been on the road.

When you spend three hours rigging up a Wyfi setup so you can check the Café from Pyro world.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 11, 2009 04:12PM)
When you read the instructions 50 times, but still do not understand it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 11, 2009 06:33PM)
When you read the instructions once and understand it...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 11, 2009 08:30PM)
When you don't need to read the instructions, you already know how it is done.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 11, 2009 08:35PM)
When you don't need to read the instructions, you know how it's done, and put in in your unused magic drawer...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 11, 2009 09:05PM)
When you don't need to read the instructions, you know how it's done, and put it in your unused magic drawer before you look at the trick.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 11, 2009 09:12PM)
When you write your own instructions in three languages,

Past tense
Future tense
and I'm really tense when I cant read my own instructions.

Also... when you film your multiplying bottle routine, from the back, so you can remember it in a year.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 11, 2009 09:43PM)
When you catch the eye of another Magician's pretty female assistant and realize she was your third or fourth wife but you can't remember which.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 11, 2009 09:50PM)
When a dove does a number 2 on your shoulder and you think, "johnny is probably gonna sue me."
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 11, 2009 11:09PM)
When you end up homeless from doing free shows.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 12, 2009 10:50AM)
When your wife finds you sleeping walking and performing to your dog.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 12, 2009 01:09PM)
When your dog is the only audience that seems to appreciate your performance.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 12, 2009 01:55PM)
When you are trying to get your dog to pick a card.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Aug 12, 2009 02:55PM)
When your dog refuses to take the force card.

Posted: Aug 12, 2009 3:57pm
When your cat attacks your rising card.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 12, 2009 04:21PM)
When you start dissembling photocopiers, coffee makers and scuba gear for spare parts... that you know you'll never use, some day.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 12, 2009 08:50PM)
When.. you break the world record for continuous waterfalls and pressure fans and nobody is there to see.
Message: Posted by: scottybarnhart (Aug 12, 2009 08:54PM)
[With mentalism] . . . everything in an office supply store becomes a prop and all the good cutlery is defunct.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 12, 2009 09:32PM)
When you spend 6 hours in a single day trying to figure out a schedule where you can do magic for 22 hours a day at TAOM and still have time to sleep 8 hours per day.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 12, 2009 09:44PM)
When you wish you could go out to TAOM so you could meet Fr Photius.

Have fun.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 12, 2009 10:00PM)
When you imagine you are the king of the linking rings.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 12, 2009 10:39PM)
When you wish that Dynamike, James, Tabman, Jay, and Bill were all going to be at TAOM, what a wild party that would be.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 12, 2009 10:55PM)
When you must fight to stay awake while posting on the Café.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 13, 2009 09:59AM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-12 23:39, Father Photius wrote:
When you wish that Dynamike, James, Tabman, Jay, and Bill were all going to be at TAOM, what a wild party that would be.
[/quote]

:dancing: :bigdance: :banana: :carrot: :cucumber: :pepper: :bubbly: :cheers: :band:
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 13, 2009 11:55AM)
When you brings magic tricks into a building reading "No magic tricks allowed or you will be arrested immediately."
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 13, 2009 12:32PM)
When you love your tiger more then your wife.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 13, 2009 12:42PM)
When you can't possibly magish without your magic wand.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 13, 2009 12:43PM)
When your tiger loves you more than your wife!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 13, 2009 01:10PM)
When you quit your 40 hour a week job to perform free shows only.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 13, 2009 01:24PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-13 10:59, JamesTong wrote:
:dancing: :bigdance: :banana: :carrot: :cucumber: :pepper: :bubbly: :cheers: :band:
[/quote]

When you know what a great convention TAOM is. Wish we could all be there.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 13, 2009 01:40PM)
When Photius, Dynamike, James, Tabman, Jay, and Bill put together their own convention.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 13, 2009 06:11PM)
Tomorrow, my place.. Be there or be a square knot, like the kind Slydini used but not the Square knot off rope trick which is good too but only lasts 30 seconds and if I'm going to perform a trick for a corporate audience it should be longer but then again, kids under 7 won't get the Slydidi knot because they can't but they do get the square knot which is also a good trick to do at blue and gold dinners which is another subject.

The first book I got (not stolen from the library) was Cub Scout Book Of Magic.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 13, 2009 06:28PM)
When you wonder if there's a way to do a one handed square knot and decide that you'd be at Jay's for the convention if it was a little closer than 3,000 miles.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 13, 2009 07:03PM)
When you can tie a "one handed" Bow Tie using either hand (try it, I can)
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 13, 2009 07:43PM)
When you can tie a knot with one hand, but forgot how to tie it with two hands.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 13, 2009 08:06PM)
When you join the boy scouts so you can show them some cool knots...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 13, 2009 08:09PM)
When you bring your Linking Rings to a jewelry store to sell them.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 13, 2009 08:21PM)
When you go deer hunting by throwing cards at them...
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Aug 13, 2009 09:00PM)
When you spend hours and hours cataloging your magic books on your computer, but you know where to find anything and everything anyway.

When you find yourself palming, vanishing and switching the almonds you thought you were eating while you read the messages here.

Bill
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 14, 2009 03:30AM)
When you put together a new Bible full of magic tricks.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 14, 2009 10:10AM)
When you take your Himber ring to the jewelers and screw with him.
Or
when you take a shell to a coin shop and announce that you just found two coins for the price of one.
OR
When you use your Fantasio cane as a prop so you can board a jet early, because you're disabled.
OR
When you're driving ober the international border with a Mismade Lady in the cargo section and declair that you have a parts of a lady in the box to see their reaction when they open it up... (You have to have a few hours to lose to do this one)
Or
When you hand someone a Break-a-way pencil as their about to sign a contract
OR
When you quickly use a Perfect Pen on a dollar right before you pay a cashier, telling them it's "NEW" money.
Or
The ever popular squeeker or sparks machine on electrical equipment like in an elevator

I've done all of these.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 14, 2009 11:05AM)
Jay, what kind of responses did you get for each of those you have tried?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 14, 2009 02:07PM)
When James catch up to Dynamike with his post.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 14, 2009 02:11PM)
When I am catching up with the number of posts Dynamike has and at the same time making more balls and also simultaneously practicing magic.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 14, 2009 02:44PM)
You bent all the house keys, and lock yourself out...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 14, 2009 02:49PM)
When you practicing all the magic moves with your left hand.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 14, 2009 03:20PM)
When your doctor must be a magician.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 14, 2009 03:36PM)
When you hear the word "vanish" coming from the TV and rush in to see if it is a magic show.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 14, 2009 03:38PM)
When you practice palming a gun in front of a police officer.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 14, 2009 10:39PM)
When you buy your sponge balls by the bag - of 50.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 14, 2009 11:36PM)
When you buy your thumb tips by the bag of 100.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 15, 2009 07:02AM)
You take a bath in a milk can...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 15, 2009 09:59AM)
When you live under a bridge in your old sub trunk.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 15, 2009 10:07AM)
When you listen to a member just because he has so many post.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 15, 2009 11:34AM)
When you wear a Bolo Tie made out of Magician's rope and a Chinese hole coin.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 15, 2009 11:40AM)
When you know you have to perform today, but will not get your butt off the Café.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 15, 2009 02:11PM)
When you.... yes you.... make 30 posts just to up your total when everyone knows that quality beats quantity every time.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 15, 2009 02:44PM)
When you noticed that Jay and tabman are getting more funny every time they post.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 15, 2009 02:55PM)
When you have nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon but sit in your office and read the Café.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 15, 2009 03:02PM)
When you are going bonkers just trying to catch up with the latest in magic.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 15, 2009 04:12PM)
When you run to your friends door and open it before he can get his keys out.

When you leave your milk can full of water in case of an earthquake.

When your Sword basket is your hamper.

When the base to your Broom Suspension is also your front door mat.

When you actually use your arm chopper to prepare a salad.

When you use all your DVD cases to build a wall between rooms.

When you use vanishing candles during your debut piano concert.

When you use your Glorpy as a pocket square but never take it out.

When you give the cashier a 10 inch coin, at a drive through, with a completely straight face.

When you use your rice bowls to mix a cake.

When you nail an old livestock production box to the top of a pole and it becomes your mailbox.

When you sew a tear using your needle through balloon, needle.

When you keep your watch in a nest of boxes.

When you replace your toilet float with a Zombie ball, because that's where it came from.

When you throw all your old sparkly thimbles and balls in the fish tank to "liven up" the view.

When you keep your pills in a bill tube.

When your name starts with a D and ends with a E

When the middle of your name is inamik

Please come back for the midnight show, it starts at 1
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 15, 2009 04:35PM)
When you plan to stay up for the midnight show at 1am. Is that Eastern time?
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 15, 2009 05:04PM)
Yes but it's a two drink minimum and no kids under 21 inches tall,.

I have to irritate... er I mean, entertain some people now. See you later.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 15, 2009 07:09PM)
When you got nothing better to but be on the Café.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 15, 2009 08:23PM)
Spoken like a man who just posted 45 times in the last couple of hours.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 15, 2009 08:30PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-15 21:23, jay leslie wrote:
Spoken like a man who just posted 45 times in the last couple of hours.
[/quote]
I don't know, who?
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 15, 2009 09:45PM)
We'll if you don't know Who... Let me introduce him to you.... Who, meet Mike - Mike, meet who.

Who's that you say? Mike... that's who.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Reminds me of the old joke with the punch line "If I knew that, I could go to college" which, to say the least, can not be told on this forum... but I'll be glad to write in a PM.

(Now watch a thousand people PM)
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 15, 2009 10:08PM)
When you know who but you can't remember when and where.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 16, 2009 02:40AM)
When you want to volunteer your time with the Café to help others all day.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 16, 2009 07:45AM)
When you found out about the latest in magic performances ... irritating people :bg:. mmmmmmm who am I going to irritate today?
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 16, 2009 07:47AM)
The seat covers in your car have "Ask Alexander" silkscreened into them...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 16, 2009 07:50AM)
When you have a huge picture of a top hat air sprayed on the bonnet of your car.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 16, 2009 08:59AM)
When you sit in your office chair all night waiting for someone to make a post on the Café.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 16, 2009 09:02AM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-16 09:59, Dynamike wrote:
When you sit in your office chair all night waiting for someone to make a post on the Café.
[/quote]

This shows something is either wrong with your browser or you have retired from magic :bg:
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 16, 2009 09:02AM)
You go through 2 cases of beer, trying to straighten out that one bottle cap to
use for a trick...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 16, 2009 09:06AM)
You try shuffling playing cards with your feet.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 16, 2009 09:34AM)
When you are modifying the finger tips to fit your toes.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 16, 2009 10:00AM)
When travel daily around the world to go to different IBM meetings.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 16, 2009 10:17AM)
When a brand new religion springs up based on your second sight routine with you as the head "see-er."
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 16, 2009 10:48AM)
When you join a church that is titled "Magic Church."
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 16, 2009 11:22AM)
You can make 2 animal balloons at once with your feet...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 16, 2009 11:36AM)
When you join a church called "Magic Church" and discover that Dynamike is the MC.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 16, 2009 11:39AM)
When you fall asleep at your computer overnight waiting for someone to post on the Café.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 16, 2009 11:51AM)
When you wake up from a dream when the Vulcan mind probe didn't work on Dynamike.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 16, 2009 12:46PM)
When you are not reading your marketing material because you are on the Café all of the time.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 16, 2009 03:30PM)
When you get Wifi so you can sit in your bathroom, a postin.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 16, 2009 03:55PM)
When you forget to cash your checks because you always want to practice.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 16, 2009 08:45PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-16 10:02, joseph wrote:
You go through 2 cases of beer, trying to straighten out that one bottle cap to
use for a trick...
[/quote]

Then you discover they are twist off caps...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 16, 2009 09:10PM)
When you practice the strait jacket escape when you drive places.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 17, 2009 10:59AM)
When you wake up at the state mental institution wearing a strait jacket.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 17, 2009 11:46AM)
When your wife wake up and see you sleeping in full tails suit ... because you are too tired performing for your dog who is the only audience that can tolerate your show.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 17, 2009 12:21PM)
When your wife wake up and see you sleeping in full tails suit ... and calls the men in the white coats to take you away.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 17, 2009 12:24PM)
When you get 50 emails from people who want to meet you at TAOM. (And you don't owe any of them money and never dated their daughter.)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 17, 2009 12:31PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-17 12:46, JamesTong wrote:
When your wife wake up and see you sleeping in full tails suit ... because you are too tired performing for your dog who is the only audience that can tolerate your show.
[/quote]

This is really a funny one, tabman. :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: Really tickles my funny bones.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 17, 2009 12:48PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-17 13:31, JamesTong wrote:
This is really a funny one, tabman. :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: Really tickles my funny bones.
[/quote]

When you decide to tickle James Tong's funny bones, whatever they are.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 17, 2009 04:45PM)
When you insist your daughter gets married in the Magic Castle...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 17, 2009 05:05PM)
When you do not ignore all of Joseph's 6705 post.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 17, 2009 07:45PM)
When you catch up to Dynamikes 13,356 posts...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 17, 2009 10:42PM)
When you think Chris Angel is a god.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Aug 17, 2009 11:04PM)
When you think Chris Angel is [i]good[/i].
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 17, 2009 11:16PM)
When you think you're Chris Angel.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 17, 2009 11:19PM)
When you think Chris Angel is better than Dynamike.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 17, 2009 11:20PM)
When you realize his name is Criss Angel.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 17, 2009 11:30PM)
When you figure out where the pockets are hidden in Photius' beard.
Message: Posted by: Floyd Collins (Aug 18, 2009 06:10AM)
When someone asks if you would like scotch and soda and you say I left my coins at home.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 18, 2009 07:57AM)
When you are working on several magic projects the same time.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 18, 2009 10:19AM)
"When you're working on several Magic projects at the same time" ...with Chris Angel.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 18, 2009 10:53AM)
"When you're working on several Magic projects at the same time" ...with Chris Angel and the Masked Magician.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 18, 2009 11:31AM)
When you think the white coated attendents at the rest home are Rudy Coby and Chris Angel and the doctor who administers your tranquilizers is the Masked Magician.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 18, 2009 11:47AM)
When you are willing to perform magic in front of crowds who are against magic.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 18, 2009 12:17PM)
When you spend $299 for a trick that you know you'll probably never perform other than at your local IBM Ring meeting... That you actually consider taking off a day from work so you can perform free for 23 kids for school "Grandparents Day"... That you know that 50 per cent of the purse frames you can buy for a sponge ball routine won't work well... That you own both the Levent and the Abbott's/McComb version of the half-dyed silk... That you've watched the entire Steve Dacri 2 hour sponge ball tool kit DVD all at once at one time... That all your household pets are named after magicians: Blackstone, Carter, Wanda, etc... That your mail box has a rabbit and hat on it... That your car has at least two magic related bumper stickers or other magic related information on it... That you think your close up audience can't hear your loud clicking together of your various vanishing coins... That you learned how to knit just to make up your own Cups and Balls cork balls... That you have your own supply of needle grease for the needle through balloon... That you print out every issue of the online edition of The Newest TOPS from Abbott's... That you have at least five "message" portable fans from Rite Aid as they are cool for doing card tricks... That you own at least five of the new heat erasable Sharpies... That you still buy magic VCR tapes from used magic flea markets as your old VCR still works...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 18, 2009 01:19PM)
MagicBus you are the King and it's you who should be living at the Magic Castle.

"When you are willing to perform magic in front of crowds who are against magic." ... while wearing a strait jacket over your straight jacket.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 18, 2009 01:37PM)
When you read every word of MagicBus' post over again.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 18, 2009 02:10PM)
When you realise that most of the usernames registered at the Café are not found in the dictionary at all.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 18, 2009 02:41PM)
That your kind words mean more to me than a Bell's Oberon with orange slice... That you once bought Top Hat Beer because of the name... That "Miller Lite" to you is Charlie Miller doing a fast routine... That you gave Franz Harary at Abbott's a magic friend's CD singing country tunes... That you bought the most recent issue of TIME magazine because you thought a magician might be mentioned in it (Vegas is on the cover)... That you love the "Fighting Rabbit" on the wall of the Colon gym... That you keep "Planted" on your fireplace mantle in the event someone would like to see a card trick... That you've witnessed squirt guns in a magic routine while involving the audience singing the theme from Gulligan's Island... That you seen a Zig-Zig, Temple of Benares and a snake basket in your friend's basement... That you seen made balloon "vegetables"- tomato, cucumber, yellow squash, string bean, etc... That you have brought your rubber production fish and your old phoney ring on a rafting trip... along with the rubber rock in your shoe... That you have a nail down nickel on your back deck... That you briefly considered buying a Washington Wizards or Orlando Magic jersey... That you visit Mackinac Island, Michigan, and rather than visiting the Fort or The Grand Hotel and the other tourist attractions there, you spend all day in the two magic shops on Main Street... That you almost bought a set of the new electronic "finger drum set" so you could give yourself drum rolls while doing close-up... That you have held between your fingers the new hollow light weight Fakini manipulation balls (even though you can't do any ball manipulations)... That you read the old magic magazines you bought in a pile of 12 for $5 at FAB Magic... That you'll watch reruns of "House" when Valentino was on it as a patient even though you can't stand the masked magician... That you were insulted when Conan said last night mockingly that his assistant's picture looked like "a magician"... That you have at least two haunted keys... That you know a great fundraiser for Dean would involve selling custom made magic dill pickles to magicians... That you have at least three portable P.A. systems- each newer one being slightly lighter than the older one... That you have several full backdrops and frames even though you rarely use them... That you still enjoy seeing mime at a magic convention even though it has nothing to do with magic really... That you stole a full sized rabbit from your tails once... That every time you see a magician put a scarf or large silk in his mouth you know what is coming next... That you own a flaming Bible, a flaming book, a flaming wallet, and a flaming business card holder... That you know what happens when you store a red sponge ball and a yellow sponge ball together... That you considered buying a poker chip case just to keep your sponge balls separate... That you know what Al Goshman's son looks like... That you know what kids performer loves to say: because IT'S MAGIC!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 18, 2009 02:49PM)
When you get dizzy from reading MagicBus' post.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 18, 2009 03:52PM)
When you start wondering if Jay Leslie has been kidnapped and if so who will pay the ransom?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 18, 2009 04:04PM)
(not me)

If you have been waiting all day for Photius to edit your post.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 18, 2009 08:26PM)
When you are surprised that Dynamike would think that I would edit his posts, it would take a lifetime to correct all that spelling and grammar.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 18, 2009 08:37PM)
When you read all of Photius' humorous post to get high.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 18, 2009 09:25PM)
That you read every email received from Denny and Lee's... That you have at least three versions of the thumb tie (Losander, Jaspernese, thumb cuffs)... That you know who "Topas" is... or UGM... That you have a Kirkendall reel, a P & L reel, a programmable thread system, and a fishing reel... That you have a finger ring from Gay Blackstone's jewelry company and a Funken Ring and a PK ring... That you have a signed note from Gay Blackstone asking you to buy more jewelry for your wife... That you know the difference between a Buma Hip wallet, a Himber wallet, a Mullica wallet, Kaps wallet, Ken Brooke absolutely impossible wallet, a flaming wallet, and your own empty wallet from buying all these wallets... That people leave pets in your yard in boxes knowing you'll adopt them and put them into your act... That you once did "Twisting the Aces" flawlessly but no longer can even remember how you did it... That you carry around a medical bag but you are not a doctor (you use it to carry your close up act)... That you are eagerly waiting for the day when someone will yell out in a theatre in an emergency situation: "Is there a magician in the house?"... That your driver's license picture has the little mini clown nose stuck on it... That your cell phone's picture is of a card you like to force... That you bought at an outdoor craft booth an ornate "Believe in Magic" wooden sign... That you have a picture of Houdini after he locked his keys in his car... That you know 80% of the handcuffs used in the U.S. have the same key... That you have a set of sterling silver cups... and a $120 wooden wand to go along with it... That you have at least 10 DiLites laying around someplace in a variety of colors... That your favorite part of the Bozo show was Whizzo.. That you really miss the bizzare "Fast and Loose" columns by Harry Anderson... That you once bought stuff from Douglas Magicland... That your Bicycle deck features real bicycles... and last and certainly least, you can't see an Imp bottle without thinking of Al Flosso...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 18, 2009 09:33PM)
LOL. You never give up do ya? :)
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 18, 2009 09:35PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-18 22:25, MagicBus wrote:....and last and certainly least, you can't see an Imp bottle without thinking of Al Flosso...
[/quote]

Now, that is just great. Thanks.

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 18, 2009 09:38PM)
That you name your Losander floating table "Rosebud".
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 18, 2009 09:52PM)
When you perform day after day without getting any sleep.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 18, 2009 10:11PM)
That you only use Dove soap...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 18, 2009 10:14PM)
When you try to trade a dentist your services for his... fifteen minutes after the anesthetic is shot in.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 18, 2009 10:26PM)
When you think tricks are only for kids.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 19, 2009 11:49AM)
When you say you're going to Home Depot but you really go to the Magic shop instead.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 19, 2009 12:50PM)
When you reach a magic shop you just keep looking at all the props on the shelves even though you have seen them hundreds of times already.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 19, 2009 01:20PM)
When you buy only the props you do not need.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 19, 2009 01:45PM)
When you have rummaged through laundramat dumpsters looking for discarded detergent boxes to be used in your "soft soap" routines.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 19, 2009 02:15PM)
When you live behind a laundramat dumpster and wear discarded detergent boxes on your feet for shoes.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 19, 2009 02:37PM)
When you keep your props in a box of Trix?
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Aug 19, 2009 03:25PM)
When you got your props in a box of Trix.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 19, 2009 07:28PM)
When you find your props in a box of Trix.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 19, 2009 08:22PM)
When the only Trix you don't do come in a cereal box.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 19, 2009 08:38PM)
When you lost your props in a box of Trix.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 19, 2009 10:35PM)
When you like the ladies of the evening because of the tricks they do.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 19, 2009 11:28PM)
When you buy a thousand boxes of "Cracker Jack" just to learn a new trick.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 19, 2009 11:30PM)
When you eat Cracker Jacks every day for three months until you finally figure out how to get a signed card into it with it still sealed.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 19, 2009 11:34PM)
Why you open a magic shop and keep the tricks outside.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 20, 2009 11:48AM)
When you keep buying those tricks you know you will never perform?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 20, 2009 11:59AM)
When you watch the masked magician to learn more.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 20, 2009 12:04PM)
When you have a new learning experience watching the masked magician perform.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 20, 2009 12:08PM)
If you purchase a trick because it looks good revealed by the masked magician.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 20, 2009 12:16PM)
When you decided to tell the world that you are the original masked magician and the idiot out there is the knock-off version copying your TV acts.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 20, 2009 12:31PM)
When you have an autographed photo of the Masked Magician without his mask on the wall of your workshop.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 20, 2009 12:36PM)
If you are the masked magician.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 20, 2009 12:37PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-20 13:31, tabman wrote:
When you have an autographed photo of the Masked Magician without his mask on the wall of your workshop.
[/quote]

Thanks, tabman, for the kind words. I am glad you like that specially autographed photo. :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: Its my funny bones getting tickled again.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 20, 2009 12:40PM)
When you try and compete with James in continuing post.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 20, 2009 12:43PM)
When you keep posting and do not know how and when to stop?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 20, 2009 01:31PM)
When you become an addict on the Magic Café.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 20, 2009 01:35PM)
When you suddenly realized that you are not in the physical magic world but just sitting in front of your PC posting to someone you have never personally met.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 20, 2009 02:24PM)
When you are on the Café and receiving e-mail request too.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 20, 2009 03:27PM)
When you don't know if your Café friends are real or figments of your imagination.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 20, 2009 03:44PM)
When you reveal the shows you did to the IRS.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 20, 2009 06:33PM)
When you neatly stack all your cross shredded papers into cubes of Chinese Snowstorms - taking two hours just to save 8 dollars....... but you did it yourself!

When you glue spring steel inside real flowers.

When you go to the home store and look at every light trying to make a new M in LB

When you know what M n LB is

When you make a stripper deck out of your business cards even though they are all the same.

When you tie-dye your strait jacket so people won't think you escaped an insane asylum.

When at any time you have ever used your squeaker in a shoe or on an elevator.

When you want to do your best impression of W.C. Fields at a birthday party.

When you actually have dinner with your sponsor and all he talks about is his business and all you talk about are your shows.

When you only date girls that fit in the box.

When you try to make them get in the box on the first date.

When you try to convince them that making 30 good phone calls a day is glamorous.

When you wear any kind of flashing, glowing or spinning name tag in public.

When you go to another magicians show and hand out business cards.

When you steal all the magic books from the library,

When you're looking at two orders to get out but continue typing even though it's the same 5 people who read this thread.

When you think you can add another 5 paragraphs to match the volume of Magicbus

When you write every one of these ideas separately so you can up your total like, you know who... who asks everyone why he doesn't get the support he deserves even though he asks that same question at least three times a week, 52 weeks a year for the past 4 years.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 20, 2009 08:10PM)
When you wear a spinning bowtie with your work uniform...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 20, 2009 08:33PM)
When you call all your girlfriends [i]Trixie[/i].
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 20, 2009 09:03PM)
That you insist on doing the Gypsy Thread routine only using thread obtained from a real gypsy.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 20, 2009 10:42PM)
When Trixie Bond clobbers tabman for calling her his girlfriend.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 20, 2009 11:17PM)
When you knew Trixie when she worked at Magic Island.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 21, 2009 04:47AM)
When you want to marry a female because her name is Trixie.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 21, 2009 06:03AM)
When I named two of the balls I just made ... Trixie Baby and Trixie Honey.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 21, 2009 01:13PM)
When you knew Trixie when she won the TAOM teen competition, and when she went to Texas Tech (Ride 'em Raiders!), and were in the studio at the Boy's Ranch telethon when Ted Quan nearly impaled her on the sword suspension, and appeared on Admiral Foghorn with her.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 21, 2009 01:19PM)
When you don't know Trixie at all.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 21, 2009 01:24PM)
When you enjoy reading the "Trixie" posts eventhough you do not know what they are talking about.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 21, 2009 02:52PM)
When you think Trixie Bond must be secret agent #008.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 21, 2009 02:57PM)
When you suddenly realize that Tabman and Kozak have a new trick called "working the Funny Bone". :bg:
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 21, 2009 03:49PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-21 15:57, JamesTong wrote:
When you suddenly realize that Tabman and Kozak have a new trick called "working the Funny Bone". :bg:
[/quote]

James, you are a genius my friend!

-=tab
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 21, 2009 04:54PM)
When you are still in loved with Trixie from the Jackie Gleason Show.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 21, 2009 06:15PM)
Even tho she couldn't act...

When you wait for Norton to do a sewer trick...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 21, 2009 10:26PM)
When you change your magic words to "Hey Ralphie, Ralphie, Ralphie!"
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 22, 2009 02:45AM)
When you perform free for millionaires.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 22, 2009 06:22AM)
At a picnic, you show everyone 2 grapes in the hand, 1 in the pocket...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 22, 2009 06:59AM)
When you been the same trick over a hundred times, and always messed up.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 22, 2009 07:01AM)
When you memorize the patter, and your mind goes blank during the show...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 22, 2009 07:17AM)
When you put together a magician union.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 22, 2009 07:43AM)
When you try to improve a Vernon or Slydini trick...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 22, 2009 08:51AM)
When you read the secrets in the books only.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 22, 2009 09:27AM)
When you want the masked morons autograph...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 22, 2009 09:57AM)
When you can read Dynamike's name up and down the right side of the "Now that's Funny" forum.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 22, 2009 11:59AM)
When you open a pedicure / barber shop / magic shop / massage therapy biz, and use sponge balls for the pedicures, to apply shaving cream, to roll on the patients, to have the patients lay in as a soothing tub full of sponge balls then you wash em and sell em.

Or realize that DM has posted 603 times since Wednesday night.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 22, 2009 12:00PM)
When your body is full of magic tattoos...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 22, 2009 12:01PM)
What part would be the wand?
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 22, 2009 12:07PM)
When you color or dye your hair half black and half white with a matching pair of eye brows and also the color of all the finger nails matching the look so you have a unique look for your show.

(I tried this about 30 years ago and the audiences freak out. I was known as the "Black and White" magician then. Good memories)
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 22, 2009 01:10PM)
When you think you remember the "Black and White" magician.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Aug 22, 2009 01:11PM)
When you know 5,000 card tricks but don't know how to play a single card game.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 22, 2009 01:11PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-22 08:43, joseph wrote:
When you try to improve a Vernon or Slydini trick...
[/quote]

That is great!!!!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 22, 2009 01:19PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-22 12:59, jay leslie wrote:
Or realize that DM has posted 603 times since Wednesday night.
[/quote]
(Sorry I have been so slow lately)

When you go to Jays shop across the street, when you forgotten you could have received Hocus Pocus' discounts online.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 22, 2009 01:21PM)
[quote]
On 2009-08-22 14:11, Father Photius wrote:
When you know 5,000 card tricks but don't know how to play a single card game.
[/quote]

Huh! What is a card game? :question: Do you run and hop around with cards? :baby:
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 22, 2009 01:27PM)
When you are on the Café on the a Saturday, instead of performing.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 22, 2009 01:33PM)
When you enjoy applying fanning powder on all your playing cards.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 22, 2009 01:36PM)
When you bring your laptop with you to the bathroom so you won't lose your spot in the "Now that's funny" forum.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Aug 22, 2009 01:42PM)
When you try to remember every version of 3 fly but could not even do one well.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Aug 22, 2009 05:40PM)
Whne you've been around long enough to remember 2 Fly.