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Topic: You Know You're A Magician When ...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Sep 18, 2009 08:02PM)
[b]You know that you're a magician when ...[/b]

You worry about spending certain change in your pocket.

You bottom deal when playing Go Fish.

You carry 6 decks on you.

You have a deck of cards, some half dollars, or some quarters within arms reach of the toilet.

You have nightmares about hecklers.

You have to take Loops off your wrist before getting in the shower.

You forget you are wearing a TT until you realize that you can’t type correctly.

You have your local magic shop on speed dial.

It is hard for you to say the numbers 1, 11, 12, 13, and 14 but you CAN say Ace, Jack, Queen, and King.

The only unbent forks in your house are plastic.

You sneeze and immediately produce a Kleenex.

You get emotional when shuffling a new deck.

You are scared to invite any layman friends over in fear of them seeing one of your gimmicks that are lying around.

You can't find one of your cards, and it's in a guy's pocket across the room

You spend $20 for a half dollar

A Bike to you is a deck of cards

All your bottles of water have the caps inside the bottle

Your left hand is constantly in a mechanics grip, even without cards

You have more decks of cards than you've had hot dinners

People stop lending you money, or borrowing it due to the fact you can never quite give it back to them

You perform one handed cuts that you can't remember doing

You tenkai palm a pop tart

You have an ace of spades taped to the back window of your car.

You’re looking for your cards on the ceiling at the mall.

You can't go out in public without being asked to Levitate.

All your pocket change is bent.

Your friends watch their forks as they eat in front of you.

You always have flash paper in your wallet.

You've opened a can of soup and found someone's signed dollar.

The term "cups and balls" doesn't make you snicker

You have a chip in your tooth from biting the wrong quarter

Everything you see makes you think of how to vanish, palm or produce it

You get emotional when you have to throw away a deck of cards

You never throw old decks away because "I can make something out of it"

You decide what clothes to buy based on how many props you can carry

You have a problem counting four cards.

You fear metal detectors.

You watch intently whenever there's someone playing cards in a film, just to see if they're using a Bicycle deck

You take out a deck of cards and all your friends run out of the room, screaming.

You always walk around with three different decks of cards in your pockets because each one is set up for a different trick.

You pull the four aces out of the deck, only to lose them back into the deck, just so you can find them again!

Instead of just spreading four cards and showing that there are four – you count them!

You refer to everyday objects as "ordinary".

You can have a heated debate whether is pronounced "Day" or "Die".

You have more than a dozen open decks of cards and cartons of unopened ones.

You accidentally do a double while playing "Go Fish!”

You are the only one that can have fun with a Blank Deck.

Every coin that you receive gets "accidentally" palmed.

You have 101 retorts for the question "How did you do that?"

You have a dog named "Houdini".

Someone asks you for your card you give them the Ace of Spades.

You have never been to the loony bin, yet you own a straight jacket.

No one will play cards with you.

The oldest deck of cards in use in your possession was purchased a week ago and you're ready to toss it.

The thought of bending or writing on a playing card doesn't throw you for a loop anymore.

It matters to you how someone shuffles your deck.

You back-palm your movie ticket and produce it out of thin air.

Someone asks for a piece of rope, and you pull one from your pocket.

You pay more for blank cards than those that are printed

The Raven to you is not a bird.

When you play the game "cheat" YOU ACTUALLY CHEAT!

All your coins are signed by other people.

You shuffle a deck of cards and none of them change order.

After viewing magic on TV, everyone in the room looks at you asks, "How'd they do that?" And, all you do is smile and say, "It's really easy if you think about it, but magicians can tell." And you're really thinking "How the heck did they do that?"

You can say with full honesty that you handle a bike better than Lance Armstrong.

You shake a persons hand with your electric touch on without noticing.

Instead of asking someone for the time, you just steal their watch.

And lastly,

Asked to shuffle the cards, you have to stop and think how to do a real shuffle.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 18, 2009 08:16PM)
Good lines, David.

When some is holding a gun to your head demanding their money back from 3 Card Monte.
Message: Posted by: Doc Dixon (Sep 18, 2009 08:29PM)
When you work 45 minutes in a day, but drive 4 hours to get there.

When the airport screener mouths "what the $%^&" as she looks at the xray of your carry-on.

When you envy great mentalists not for their mind reading skills or showmanship, but their lack of props.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 18, 2009 08:31PM)
When your wife yells at you saying, "Shut those doves up!"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 18, 2009 08:36PM)
You always have a collapsed appearing cane in your pocket.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 18, 2009 09:15PM)
When you examine your change carefully before making a payment.
Message: Posted by: MagicB1S (Sep 18, 2009 10:06PM)
You go to the grocery store and the kids run up to you and ask to see a trick
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 18, 2009 10:28PM)
You never leave your house without your magic wand.

Posted: Sep 18, 2009 11:53pm
People say you perform like Dynamike.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 19, 2009 06:22AM)
You wear your tux to the coal mine you work in...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 19, 2009 06:29AM)
You walk in someone's house for 30 minutes, do a few stunts and leaving with $300.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 19, 2009 10:32AM)
Your pockets are always filled with close-up items.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 19, 2009 10:58AM)
When you can perform a 101 Linking Ring routine.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 19, 2009 06:38PM)
You can do a decent pass...
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Sep 19, 2009 07:29PM)
Your house has a "I believe in Magic" wall hanging in it someplace...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 19, 2009 10:22PM)
You are wearing a huge button that says "I'm a MAGICIAN!"
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Sep 19, 2009 10:57PM)
MORE.................

You might be a magician if…

1. Your best pickup line is "Pick a card."

2. You use the word "effect" rather than "trick".

3. You pay $50 for a $1 coin.

4. A "shell" is not something found on a beach.

5. All your friends call you when magic is on TV.

6. You never play card games with your cards.

7. While watching a movie or TV, you have cards in your hands.

8. You pose for a photo with one eyebrow raised!

9. You pay $60.00 for a book and get, possibly, one or two useful things out of it and you're happy.

10. Your Christmas/Birthday wish list looks like a magic catalogue.

11. If you've ever been asked the question "can you make my wife disappear"?

12. You’re back-ordered for rabbits and doves at the pet store.

13. 75% of your patter consists of lame one-liners.

14. You drive 300 miles round trip to visit a teeney-tiny store.

16. There’s a pack of cards in sight as you read these words.

17. You're holding a fan of cards in every photo that you're in.

18. You actually want to go to a lecture.

19. You record every magic special on TV.

20. You have a tie with playing cards on it.

22. Anytime you see someone you want to meet, you start rolling a coin or doing one-handed shuffles with a deck.

24. Your idea of the perfect proposal is Copperfields 'Rose to Ring'

26. The post office calls to tell you that you have ANOTHER package in.

27. Your entire friends name starts with "The Amazing" or "The Great".

29. You have your local magic shop on speed dial.

30. You can lose your thumb and you visit the magic shop instead of the emergency ward.

31. You pay to see a lecture, buy a written version of what was just demonstrated to you, and then buy a manufactured version of something in the notes.

33. You have so much magic stuff in your room that it’s considered a fire hazard.

34. You have more elastic bands than a stationary shop.

35. You spend hours trying to rearrange the letters in your name to use on stage (only to come back years later using your real name).

39. You expect people to think ‘it's magic’ when it took you half an hour to set up.

40. You own a top hat, cape and cane and have never gone to the opera.

41. You began demonstrating the mysteries of ancient China at the age of 9.

42. Someone actually hands you a fork and says please bend this.

43. You say 'how’s tricks?' to a friend and get a 2 hour lecture.

44. You pretended to be insane just to get the straight jacket.

45. You can say "I will now penetrate ..." with a straight face.

46. "Bikes and Ho’s" is not a funny phrase to you.

51. If you know everyone in the L&L audience by name. (Davey Richardson - Joel Dresnick)

52. You've convinced yourself that feathers actually look like flowers.

53. Your handwriting is better with a Swami gimmick than it is with a real pen. (Lee Darrow)

54. You have to do a 20 minute show at the airport security station because they don't believe what's on your business card. (Lee Darrow)

55. If you owe more to Jim Steinmeyer than your annual income. (Jordan Allen)

56. You buy your son a ball and vase instead of a ball and glove. (Ray Kosby)

57. You mail-order something that the supplier says will vanish and don’t for a second think it might be some sort of a scam. (Rory Burdack)

58. You have used lame jokes such as:

"Hold out your hand... no the clean one!"

"Pick any card... anyone you like... no! not that one!"

59. Every time you pull out your credit card you instantly tenkai. (Davis Mueller)

60. You have enough playing cards to host a world series poker competition. (Troye Keuvelaar)
Message: Posted by: Irfaan Kahan (Sep 20, 2009 12:26AM)
Every time you learn a new card trick, you run to your wife grinning from ear to ear as she looks at you as if her very soul is being eaten away by the second.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 20, 2009 05:11AM)
Your closet is full of playing cards up to the ceiling.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 20, 2009 05:42AM)
You force one of your credit cards on the cashier...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 20, 2009 05:51AM)
Your first word after birth was "magic."
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 20, 2009 06:06AM)
You perform needle thru arm in the emergency room...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 20, 2009 07:45AM)
You carry the third hand everywhere you go and hoping for the right time to use it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 20, 2009 09:51AM)
You show your doctor the thread coming out of your eye...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 20, 2009 10:19AM)
You can be sure all the closeup tricks are in the pocket but you can forget your wallet.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Sep 20, 2009 02:27PM)
You are a police officer, but your holster contains two decks of cards (one red-backed and one blue) and your handcuff case is full of coins (some gaffed). Your baton is black with white tips.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Sep 20, 2009 07:18PM)
The term "square circle" somehow makes sense to you.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 20, 2009 10:18PM)
You have a good memory for all the weird names that are used to label those thousands of effects sold.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 21, 2009 03:27PM)
You park 5 blocks from the magic store to build the suspense...
Message: Posted by: BCaldwell (Sep 21, 2009 04:39PM)
You own an "Ultimate", "Impromptu" and "New and Improved" version of the same thing.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 21, 2009 09:13PM)
You are always looking out for the latest release at all magic shops.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Sep 22, 2009 05:17AM)
You learn a new card move, go running to find the wife then realised she divorced you for being so sad.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 22, 2009 11:33AM)
When your wife has to watch your coin thru table trick one hundred times and she can still catch you.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Sep 22, 2009 11:52AM)
Much of the furniture in your house consists of a Kub Zag, SubTrunk, and a Sword Basket.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Sep 22, 2009 11:57AM)
When the stitches, caused by your METAL Walsh Vanishing Cane, are removed.

You finally quit banging your head as you go in the sub trunk.

When you're standing in line, in another city and someone asks if you're that guy on T.V.

When you have a miniature lay-out of your illusions and your truck interior, so you can see how everything fits.

When you have 200,000 of your own "roll" tickets printed.

When you can pay people to sit on three telephone lines so you never miss a call.

When someone offers to give you a floating lady and you turn them down because you already have 5 other versions.

When you finally move out of your garage and rent an industrial space.

You know, none of these are really funny

When you own 4 copies of the Dante Trunk Book.

When you've ripped-up a thousand Soft soap boxes.

When you've worn out your table and need a new one.

When you have two different versions of your music on a playlist and take the complete sound system to play them.

When two Genii Lifts take-up a corner in your building.

When you can tie your bow tie using only one hand..... either hand.

When you're dry cleaning bill is greater then your electric bill.

When people walk into your office and sarcastically say "Gee... do you think that poster on the wall - with your face on it- is big enough?

When you can truthfully say that all your income comes from performing shows.

That you can sit down with anyone, at the Castle, and contribute to the conversation.

When you could type another million lines here, but you can't because you have to go do a show.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 22, 2009 11:57AM)
... and two roll-on tables used for dining. :bg:
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Sep 22, 2009 05:50PM)
You produce all your food for the BBQ from a dove pan
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Sep 22, 2009 10:15PM)
You know how to pronounce Dai
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 22, 2009 11:51PM)
When your clients want you to perform the torn and restored newspaper trick and you ask them which version they are interested in.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 24, 2009 02:59PM)
When you have 5 sets of Hundy 500...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 24, 2009 03:17PM)
When you cannot decide which Top-It version you want to use for your practice.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Sep 24, 2009 05:22PM)
Someone asks you for a lighter and you pull out your wallet.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Sep 24, 2009 05:56PM)
So... which one is the lighter... the lighter or the wallet?

When you bounce all your change before leaving a tip.

When you have a Home Make Over show come into your house and remove all the cards from your ceiling.

When you're buying a plumbing part and the clerk asks what it's used for and you tell him he wouldn't understand.

When you push shoe laces into themselves before buying them.

When you go to the sewing section and play with all the thread.

When security comes over to you and you hand them a card.... like that explains your actions LOL

I'm guilty of this one... When you buy a machine to make something - one time - just so you can say you did it.

When your license plate has anything to do with show business.

When you cut a large round hold in your favorite briefcase.

When you cut a large round holes in the bottom of a shoe.

When you have 30 different sizes of magnets just because some day, you'll need them.

When you register on this forum with a phony name so you can irritate other people.

When you know that an Elmsley Count is not a real title bestowed on royalty.

When someone asks you about some obscure method and you tell them what page it's on and in what book without looking.

When someone says "do it again" and you don't.

When you pretend to do it again but actually do something different they like even better.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Sep 24, 2009 08:19PM)
[quote]
On 2009-09-24 18:56, jay leslie wrote:
So... which one is the lighter... the lighter or the wallet?

YES..............
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 25, 2009 12:54AM)
When you know Jay is sniffing glue not because he likes to but because he is making a prop for his personal enjoyment.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Sep 25, 2009 01:41AM)
When the guy at the store tells you he has a pull(pool)in the back he ain't talkin about swimming.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 25, 2009 05:19AM)
When these words - pull, lap, steal, loop, etc - makes sense to you.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 25, 2009 06:01AM)
You fold all your playing cards in quarters and add sticky stuff before your kids do...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 25, 2009 09:57AM)
When you are just waiting for that chance to perform any of your favorite routines.
Message: Posted by: BCaldwell (Sep 25, 2009 12:26PM)
You've been off work for 20 minutes but you just want to check one more post...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Sep 25, 2009 05:57PM)
When you forget to bring an egg to the theatre and you convince someone to go home and get one.

Better... you don't have a tux shirt so you convince someone in the audience to trade their white shirt for yours and you give them back their shirt wringing wet. (Don't ask)
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 25, 2009 07:59PM)
Your car horn plays Lance Burtons performance music...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Sep 25, 2009 10:14PM)
[quote]
On 2009-09-25 20:59, joseph wrote:
Your car horn plays Lance Burtons performance music...
[/quote]

How bout you play horn and you learn Lance Burtons performance music.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 26, 2009 06:08AM)
You use magicians wax to glue your broken coffee cups back together...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 26, 2009 10:05AM)
You hope that there is such a thing as the ultimate gimmick.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Sep 26, 2009 12:34PM)
You buy the ultimate gimmick and immediately take it apart, so you can improve it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 26, 2009 07:31PM)
You wreck the ultimate gimmick, and have to buy a new one...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 27, 2009 10:33AM)
You were so excited buying the ultimate gimmick and found out three days later that the 'super ultimate universal gimmick' had just been launched and you cannot wait to get that also.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Sep 27, 2009 01:22PM)
Now THIS was a funny page.... but ULTIMATELY won't we come up with a Super Funny page?

So you buy a dozen super ultimate gimmicks and must sell them immediately to get the universal gimmick which ONLY is wider elastic then the ultimate gimmick ... so there you sit with a piece of elastic wondering what miracles can be done... and ultimately you believe that it was money well spent in a universal kind of way.

You know you're a magician when you can name 30 tricks that use elastic... the ultimate gimmick!

We should put a book out. 30 ways to use elastic. it would sell in the double digits, over time... like a hundred years.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Sep 27, 2009 04:19PM)
When you spend Ł200 on magic tricks that will never see the light of day.
Message: Posted by: Magicjg (Sep 27, 2009 06:53PM)
When you are typing on the magic Café on a Saturday night and wonder why you are single?
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Sep 27, 2009 07:32PM)
You browse through all the Halloween supply aisles at Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Walgreen's, etc. looking for somthing that you MIGHT be able to use in your magic act. (e.g.-Did you know those adult black velvet vampire capes fit very nicely over most rolling plastic shelf cart stands to make them immediately "magical" for onstage use?)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 28, 2009 08:49AM)
When you can watch a particular DVD performance 100 times.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Sep 28, 2009 05:44PM)
Your coat tail starts growing doves
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 28, 2009 07:24PM)
You have over 1,000 playing cards with someone's initials on them...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 29, 2009 10:44AM)
Your aluminium linking rings are twisted because you handed them out for examinations too many times.
Message: Posted by: Magicjg (Sep 29, 2009 11:18AM)
When someone talks about a double lift you are the only one that doesn't consider it a term in the Swingers Lifestyle.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 29, 2009 11:25AM)
When instructions such as - "Control the chosen card to the top of the deck with your own favorite method" makes sense to you.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Sep 29, 2009 11:50AM)
When a Top hat is always placed upside down.

Posted: Sep 29, 2009 12:52pm
You only keep petrol in your wallet
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 29, 2009 08:32PM)
When you magically appear money to pay at the cash counters.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Sep 29, 2009 10:46PM)
When other magicians introduce you to their friends as a fellow magician.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 30, 2009 09:25AM)
When you are discussing workshop tools and prop making with other fellow magicians.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Sep 30, 2009 06:53PM)
You can rip a card 30 different ways.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Sep 30, 2009 08:12PM)
When you're under 80 and can"false shuffle" while seated.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Sep 30, 2009 08:53PM)
When you can do a Charlier pass upside down.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Sep 30, 2009 09:40PM)
When you try a one hand cut with a pack of cards in one hand and also do a four coins roll with the other and watch a magic DVD at the same time.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 1, 2009 08:03PM)
You do a magic halloween show in your front yard...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 1, 2009 09:09PM)
You have a small stage that includes backdrop, curtains, sound and lighting systems in your house.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 1, 2009 09:37PM)
... you live out of a suitcase, make your phone calls on the way to the gig, and take all your meals backstage in the green room.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 2, 2009 07:31AM)
[quote]
On 2009-10-01 22:37, tabman wrote:
... you live out of a suitcase, make your phone calls on the way to the gig, and take all your meals backstage in the green room.
[/quote]

Wow! Tabman, you hit it right on the nail. That statement really describe the life of a magician.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 2, 2009 06:25PM)
Just one sponge banana is not enough
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 2, 2009 09:18PM)
You decide to be different from the rest by using sponge bananas for close up routines instead of sponge balls.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 3, 2009 04:43AM)
You have a special bag made just for your sponge banans
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 3, 2009 06:04AM)
You get 100 requests to do a free show...
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Oct 3, 2009 10:04AM)
...and you accept all of 'em. What the heck, you're working!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 3, 2009 10:25AM)
You work for tips at the Misers Convention...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 3, 2009 12:18PM)
[quote]
On 2009-10-03 11:04, Bill Ligon wrote:
...and you accept all of 'em. What the heck, you're working!
[/quote]

:lol: isn't it better than being jobless. At least you get to perform :bg:
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 3, 2009 02:13PM)
You buy Magic Chef appliances...
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 3, 2009 04:56PM)
You buy a false thumb, knowing you have got 2 perfectly good ones one your hands
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 3, 2009 05:53PM)
... it says so on your business card.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 3, 2009 10:47PM)
... and the button on your cap.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 4, 2009 06:07AM)
And your boxer shorts...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 4, 2009 06:24AM)
... and your license plate ...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 4, 2009 06:56AM)
Everyone calls you by your first name followed by "ini"...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 4, 2009 10:27AM)
[quote]
On 2009-10-04 07:56, joseph wrote:
Everyone calls you by your first name followed by "ini"...
[/quote]


Hi, Josephini :bg:
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 4, 2009 10:55AM)
I knew that was coming, Tongini... :) ...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 4, 2009 12:42PM)
I wonder if Billini would join in :lol:
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 4, 2009 02:59PM)
When you have to touch up your website 101 times.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Oct 4, 2009 06:49PM)
When your first name is Ling and everyone calls you "Linguini."
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 4, 2009 10:01PM)
When you enjoy being called "The Amazing Tongini". :bg:
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 4, 2009 10:12PM)
The amazing Tongini seems like a real good name. :)

Posted: Oct 5, 2009 5:12am
James changes his name to....
James MARTINI,AGOSTINI, ALBERTINI ALFONSINE BALDINI BERNARDINI BERTINI BIKINI BOTTINI CELLINI COSTANTINI FORTINI FRANCHINI GARDINI HOSSEINI HOUDINI LAMBORGHINI LAZZARINI LORENZINI MANCINI MARTELLINI MCQUEENEY MICHELINI PACINI PAGANINI PELLEGRINI PUCCINI ROSSINI SABATINI TOMASINI VALENTINI TONGINI
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 5, 2009 10:46AM)
No wonder he won't give autographs... :shrug: ...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 5, 2009 11:16AM)
When you were born in the middle of a magic show.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 5, 2009 11:58AM)
Was that some kind of Production Number.... or what!

When you go to your favorite bar at odd times so you can avoid everyone asking you to do something.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 5, 2009 12:26PM)
[quote]
On 2009-10-05 05:12, JimbosMagic wrote:
James changes his name to....
James MARTINI,AGOSTINI, ALBERTINI ALFONSINE BALDINI BERNARDINI BERTINI BIKINI BOTTINI CELLINI COSTANTINI FORTINI FRANCHINI GARDINI HOSSEINI HOUDINI LAMBORGHINI LAZZARINI LORENZINI MANCINI MARTELLINI MCQUEENEY MICHELINI PACINI PAGANINI PELLEGRINI PUCCINI ROSSINI SABATINI TOMASINI VALENTINI TONGINI
[/quote]

I'm having trouble fitting my name into my business card now :bg:
.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 5, 2009 12:29PM)
When you are able to perform the 52 card pick up trick.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 5, 2009 12:32PM)
When you can cut the deck with one hand in many ways.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 5, 2009 01:34PM)
... they say you have "balls" and they mean your balls that are made out of sponge or wood or plastics (with or without shells) or stainless steel or cork and sometimes even thread, yarn, or leather.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 5, 2009 09:35PM)
You have prepared scripts for almost every effect and for all kinds of people and encounters.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 6, 2009 10:10AM)
You hide and practice for 2 hours a day...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 6, 2009 10:46AM)
You practice with any items you can get your hands on.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 6, 2009 07:45PM)
When people tell you, you should be in Vegas.

And you respond, I just worked a room there, last week.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 6, 2009 08:16PM)
You volunteer to clean the bathrooms at the Castle...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 6, 2009 08:55PM)
You start collecting autographs of every magicians you get to meet at every club meetings.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 6, 2009 09:01PM)
You collect bottle caps from every beer made...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 6, 2009 09:09PM)
You collect props faster than your wife can sell off so she can have more space in the house.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 6, 2009 09:54PM)
You dropped a coin 10,000 times.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 7, 2009 10:19AM)
You know you have to go through all kinds of mistakes before you can decently demonstrate an effect.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 7, 2009 11:16AM)
... you know how to cover your mistakes.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 7, 2009 11:19AM)
You publish all your mistakes as the latest magic lecture notes.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 7, 2009 01:32PM)
Everyone in the audience crosses their arms when you step on stage.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Oct 7, 2009 07:13PM)
That the audience crosses its legs when you come out...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 7, 2009 07:53PM)
You come out, and everyone holds onto their wallets...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 7, 2009 09:38PM)
When you can shuffle with no hands.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 7, 2009 10:13PM)
When you do the 4 coins roll everywhere you go.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 7, 2009 10:50PM)
You can shuffle cards with your feet.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Oct 8, 2009 09:44AM)
...with your shoes on.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 8, 2009 09:44AM)
Everything in the world seem to have some relation to magic.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 8, 2009 12:39PM)
All your audience takes off their watches just in case.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 8, 2009 04:48PM)
They yell "Hooray.... Here comes Jimbo" because your reputation proceeds you.

Then - they take off their watches & hide their wallets.... because your reputation proceeded you, a bit too well.

[quote]
On 2009-10-08 10:44, JamesTong wrote:
Everything in the world seem to have some relation to magic.
[/quote]

It fits in your top drawer, no one reads the directions and you have to have it for the show tomorrow.

People say "I could do that If I had more time", they think no practice is involved and they expect the price to come down when a new model is introduced.

You want it to be easy to hold, look professionally hand-made and be glossy & dull, all at the same time.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 8, 2009 08:00PM)
You go fishing with your magic reel...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 8, 2009 09:31PM)
... you start collecting all kinds of weird scraps and junks because you know you might have use for them someday.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 10, 2009 05:32AM)
Your change always includes half dollars...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 10, 2009 08:14AM)
Collecting thumb tips means something to you.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 10, 2009 09:51AM)
You use your business card as a bookmark...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 10, 2009 10:17AM)
You keep changing to a better looking business card.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Oct 10, 2009 10:44AM)
You have a collection of junk tricks three times the size of the stuff you actually perform.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 10, 2009 10:48AM)
... you know the reason Valentino really put on the mask.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 10, 2009 12:22PM)
... you start putting all your performances in You Tube.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 10, 2009 01:13PM)
[quote]
On 2009-10-10 13:22, JamesTong wrote:
... you start putting all your performances in You Tube.
[/quote]

... and they all get raves.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 10, 2009 03:28PM)
You practice on your porch, hoping someone will ask you to do a trick...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 10, 2009 03:57PM)
You go to the Magic Castle swap meet and don't buy anything because you already have it.

But it's good to see all your friends.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 10, 2009 09:28PM)
You travel to every club meetings so you can meet your friends regularly.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 10, 2009 10:46PM)
... all the other magicians nod in your direction when you walk through a room at the Castle.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 11, 2009 02:40AM)
... see your name published in magic publications.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 11, 2009 06:07AM)
You actually invent a trick...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 11, 2009 09:42AM)
... "you actually invent a trick" that other magicians want to learn.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 11, 2009 10:13AM)
... you can perform very well those tricks that are invented by others.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 11, 2009 01:34PM)
You can name 6 ways to float a lady, 6 ways to make coins go through a table and 6 ways to use a squeeker, for fun and profit.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 11, 2009 01:46PM)
You can perform a 10 minutes linking ring routine that shows 35 different linking methods.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 11, 2009 02:53PM)
... they remember you when you're gone.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 11, 2009 10:50PM)
... they can recognize you on stage but not in person.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Oct 12, 2009 01:05AM)
You know you're a magician when.........

You are shopping for a new house and the only thing you want to be sure of is that it has a "magic room" for you and your equipment.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 12, 2009 04:59AM)
The garage is full of props and not cars
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 12, 2009 07:17AM)
You have more magic buddies than normal friends.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 12, 2009 10:54AM)
... when you think that your "magic buddies" are normal.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 12, 2009 11:32AM)
[quote]
On 2009-10-12 11:54, tabman wrote:
... when you think that your "magic buddies" are normal.
[/quote]

If you really feel that way. We can get you in touch with some clowns or vents... just to round out your social network.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Oct 12, 2009 12:06PM)
When your magic buddies think you're normal !!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 12, 2009 12:54PM)
When you enjoy your time with all those 'normal people'.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 12, 2009 06:08PM)
When you learn how to sew so you can make your own pockets.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 12, 2009 06:12PM)
When you can fill a suite case full of close up magic just from your pockets
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 12, 2009 08:32PM)
The clothing salesman keeps insisting the suit is too big and you keep insisting you know what your doing.

You buy ties that fit inside each other and the security thinks your trying to steal one.

You walk around a box store, with a magnet, and touch it to everything.

The only pens in your pocket do tricks.

Your briefcase has a extra hole in it somewhere.

You print extra special business cards that you switch for each other when someone selects a card.

You sneak into someone's library and memorize the 4th word on page 1085 in every single book.

You duplicate every book in their library and attach their covers to your pages.

You sit in the bathroom, during intermission, so you can possibly hear something you can use for the mind reading routine, in the second half of the show.

You have a jeweler make 30 different rings that all open and close.

You reread all the posts so you don't duplicate yourself.

You wonder where Father Photius disappeared to?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 12, 2009 11:37PM)
You quit your job to do magic tricks everyday.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Oct 13, 2009 01:21AM)
You get fired from a day job for doing magic tricks all day !
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 13, 2009 06:15AM)
You get paid for doing stupid stuff
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 13, 2009 11:46AM)
Your trousers have 25 pockets.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Oct 13, 2009 01:15PM)
Your pockets have pockets !!
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 13, 2009 01:57PM)
All the pockets are connected so you can do a silk across then out the pant leg then it appears under your lapel, only to be found in your wallet..... all using one thread
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 13, 2009 09:00PM)
You are losing track of the pockets and pockets within pockets in your trousers.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 13, 2009 09:01PM)
When your pockets have trousers.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 13, 2009 09:04PM)
Your topit is your biggest pocket.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 13, 2009 09:07PM)
Your pockets have holes so you can get your legs in
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 13, 2009 09:25PM)
You organize the thumb tips well inside the inner pockets.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 13, 2009 09:27PM)
... when your nickname is "pockets."
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 13, 2009 09:27PM)
Your house is on foreclosure.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Oct 13, 2009 11:25PM)
You know what pockettes and profondes are.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 14, 2009 05:06AM)
You are trying to understand why Bill is levitating a white skull and whether there's hair on the skull.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 14, 2009 03:03PM)
When you reach 10,000 post on the Café.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 14, 2009 08:25PM)
You 6 decks of playing cards, 4 sponge balls, 1 Ding Dong, 4 coins and 25 TT in your pocket all the time.
Message: Posted by: Herr Brian Tabor (Oct 14, 2009 10:02PM)
You've ever had a drill sergeant as you what the @#$% is that! (when he checks your bags)

If your wife had to explain one or more of these to you because you didn't get it! (true)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 15, 2009 09:38AM)
... you have to empty everything (cards, sponge balls, T.T, hand cuff, linking rings, sharpies, jumbo coins, etc) from your pockets before you can get a few dollars out to buy a drink.
Message: Posted by: greatscott (Oct 15, 2009 09:43AM)
You cannot walk through ANY room of your house without tripping over, or bumping into some kind of magic prop/accessory
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 15, 2009 09:45AM)
... you don't need any special props or accessories to perform magic any time, any place.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 15, 2009 09:47AM)
... you decide to sell everything you have and specialize in impromptu magic because you have too many things.
Message: Posted by: greatscott (Oct 15, 2009 09:49AM)
You see a potential magic performance in everything
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 15, 2009 09:52AM)
... your mind is always on the look out for something new to work with.
Message: Posted by: greatscott (Oct 15, 2009 09:56AM)
Your wife stops asking what you are thinking, because she knows the answer is "MAGIC"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 15, 2009 09:58AM)
... you can stay for hours in your workshop trying out new ideas.
Message: Posted by: greatscott (Oct 15, 2009 10:02AM)
You're always trying to think of a new, and different way to vanish, or produce something
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 15, 2009 10:05AM)
... you have more ideas than actual routines you can really perform.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 15, 2009 10:17AM)
... you spend more time working with Magic than anything else.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 15, 2009 10:20AM)
... your R & D time can cost you a bomb.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 15, 2009 12:11PM)
...you graduated from Dynamike's 8 week magic course.
Message: Posted by: SilvaAce (Oct 15, 2009 12:33PM)
You try to impress a girl by making her a napkin rose!

Posted: Oct 15, 2009 1:36pm
...your wife keeps asking you for laundry money because she knows your palming
at least a couple of quarters.

Posted: Oct 15, 2009 1:38pm
...your socks are always on the floor because you needed the drawer for your props.

Posted: Oct 15, 2009 1:40pm
...nobody knows half the people you always talk about.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 15, 2009 01:03PM)
... your humor is different from the rest of the world.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 15, 2009 01:57PM)
You see something absolutely useless in a shop and think I could make a trick out of that.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 15, 2009 02:26PM)
When you stop calling yourself a master magician because you finally realize that you don't know everything.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 15, 2009 07:35PM)
When all your coffee cups look like they came from India...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 15, 2009 09:28PM)
... you can finally tell your folks that you're a Magician, not a doctor.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Oct 15, 2009 10:34PM)
[quote]
On 2009-10-15 22:28, tabman wrote:
... you can finally tell your folks that you're a Magician, not a doctor.
[/quote]

You know you're a magician when you go to the doctor not for a checkup but to book your show for the doctor's office Christmas party !!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 16, 2009 02:06AM)
You decided to upgrade yourself from being called a magician to an 'illusionist'.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Oct 16, 2009 11:26AM)
You watched the movie "The Illusionist" 5 times!
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 16, 2009 11:43AM)
... you don't worry about whether you are a magician or not.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 16, 2009 11:50AM)
You always answer the phone like you're going to save the world.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 16, 2009 11:56AM)
... when you can "save the world" with magic.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 16, 2009 12:01PM)
You believe you are a real magician and you live like a real magician.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Oct 16, 2009 01:09PM)
[quote]
On 2009-10-15 22:28, tabman wrote:
... you can finally tell your folks that you're a Magician, not a doctor.
[/quote]

Your mother introduces you as "My son the mmm ... master of certain things."
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 16, 2009 01:44PM)
You see humor in magic gags and jokes while normal people cannot see why you are laughing at silly jokes.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 16, 2009 02:55PM)
... you can turn down the gigs you don't want.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 16, 2009 05:16PM)
Your mom tells you to get a proper job
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 16, 2009 09:45PM)
... your children tell their friends that their dad gets paid to do tricks.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Oct 16, 2009 11:50PM)
You appreciate jokes like these.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 17, 2009 05:30AM)
...and laugh at jokes like these...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 17, 2009 06:46AM)
... and only magicians can think of jokes like these.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 17, 2009 09:05AM)
...you end up in the unemployment line.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 17, 2009 09:09AM)
...with all your magician friends...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 17, 2009 11:40AM)
... who unanimously think it is funny to be jobless ...
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Oct 17, 2009 12:01PM)
...and who actually think they're going to get a job doing magic instead of cleaning septic tanks.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 17, 2009 12:05PM)
You think every phone call coming in may be someone interested in hiring you.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 17, 2009 12:13PM)
... you finally realize that you are ultimately alone.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 17, 2009 12:42PM)
[quote]
On 2009-10-17 10:05, Dynamike wrote:
...you end up in the unemployment line.
[/quote]

Is there something you need to tell us?
Message: Posted by: ray raymond (Oct 17, 2009 12:57PM)
When your wife disappears.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 17, 2009 01:19PM)
You hand out tips in the shape of animals...
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 17, 2009 06:02PM)
You hand out your flyers to anyone walking past.
Message: Posted by: Larry Bean (Oct 17, 2009 06:26PM)
When your standing in the foyer after church and start doing card tricks.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 17, 2009 09:51PM)
Your wife needs more space in the house.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 18, 2009 05:36AM)
You replace all the bulbs in the house with d'lites...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 18, 2009 08:47AM)
Your children starts acting as your agent selling your acts in their school.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 18, 2009 09:17AM)
And they wind up getting you 7 free shows...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 18, 2009 10:04AM)
... along with baby sitting those kids for the teachers.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 18, 2009 05:16PM)
And getting jelly all over your Jerrys Nuggets...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 18, 2009 09:04PM)
... and your sponge balls are covered with chocolate and syrup.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 19, 2009 04:39AM)
And they use your Delite as a clown nose
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 19, 2009 05:57AM)
... you are trying to do the impossible and until now it is still impossible.
Message: Posted by: JimbosMagic (Oct 19, 2009 07:34AM)
You keep admiring your picture on your own flyers.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 19, 2009 09:43AM)
... you realize that the best magic photo is still your own.
Message: Posted by: Larry Bean (Oct 19, 2009 07:26PM)
People assume you can do anything.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 20, 2009 12:54AM)
... people expect you to perform for free.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 22, 2009 07:05PM)
...you embarrass Dave Castle in a magic contest.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 22, 2009 08:05PM)
The kids always ask you to do a trick first...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 22, 2009 08:37PM)
You have encountered "I know how you did that" many times.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 23, 2009 02:40PM)
You have encountered "Do that again" many times.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Oct 23, 2009 02:43PM)
When you find a can of soda in your shoe.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 23, 2009 07:12PM)
When you have something witty to say in each of the threads...... that leaves me out!
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Oct 23, 2009 09:11PM)
When you agree with what Jay just said, as in "Me too!"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 23, 2009 09:15PM)
You take advantage of every situation to get media publicity.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 24, 2009 05:39AM)
You throw eggs at the tv screen when the masked moron is on...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 24, 2009 08:49AM)
You realize that it is normal to be broke.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 24, 2009 09:42AM)
You spend the last year learning the pass...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 24, 2009 09:47AM)
You know it would take years to perfect something good.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 24, 2009 09:55AM)
You laugh when you practice a good sleight...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 24, 2009 10:05AM)
You end up doing self working tricks.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 24, 2009 02:16PM)
You cut out every newspaper story containing the word magic...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 24, 2009 09:01PM)
Your car is painted wth your logo, name and contact number.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 25, 2009 05:20AM)
You shave your head, and tattoo your logo on your melon...
Message: Posted by: Failed Magician (Oct 25, 2009 06:50AM)
Your only favorite colors are red or blue.

You want to buy every single Bicycle deck in a shop you pass by.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 25, 2009 09:14AM)
[quote]
On 2009-10-25 06:20, joseph wrote:
You shave your head, and tattoo your logo on your melon...
[/quote]

:lol: Why didn't I think of that before? Should try it one day :bg:
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 26, 2009 03:16PM)
Your bicycle and helmet are red and blue...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 26, 2009 03:27PM)
With jokers on the spokes, a wand for kick stand, a Topit on the front instead of a basket and a close-up pad for the seat.

You can remove the tires for the largest, crazy-man's handcuffs, your water bottle is a Foo can and you use your pump for animal balloons.

The LED lights revolve around to attract attention, your saddle bags are loaded with cups and the handle bar tassels are actually a large set of Pom Pom poles.

The finally for the show is any card called for, inside the inner tube and you take donations to make repairs.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 26, 2009 07:46PM)
You try to perform linking tyre tubings to surprise your magic buddies.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 27, 2009 05:26AM)
[quote]
On 2009-10-26 16:27, jay leslie wrote:
With jokers on the spokes, a wand for kick stand, a Topit on the front instead of a basket and a close-up pad for the seat.
You can remove the tires for the largest, crazy-man's handcuffs, your water bottle is a Foo can and you use your pump for animal balloons.
The LED lights revolve around to attract attention, your saddle bags are loaded with cups and the handle bar tassels are actually a large set of Pom Pom poles.
The finally for the show is any card called for, inside the inner tube and you take donations to make repairs.
[/quote]

Is the basket to store your effects or for tips?...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 27, 2009 06:03AM)
You have stationaries in your pocket that are prepared for prediction effects every where you go.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 27, 2009 10:05AM)
When you got "rough and smooth" all over your hands.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 27, 2009 10:16AM)
When you start taking photo with every magician you meet.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 27, 2009 12:26PM)
When you find a TT in a drawer and hope there's a Hundred in it.

(Joseph, The basket is to delver newspapers because no one is tipping.)
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 27, 2009 08:07PM)
When all the magicians you meet want to take a picture with you.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 27, 2009 08:20PM)
You start searching for some bills from your props to buy food.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 28, 2009 02:35PM)
You have 20 decks of Jokers...
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Oct 28, 2009 03:28PM)
[quote]
On 2009-10-27 21:20, JamesTong wrote:
You start searching for some bills from your props to buy food.
[/quote]

...but you leave the silver dollars and the halves.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 28, 2009 07:50PM)
..and the mismade dollar and Extreme Burn...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 28, 2009 07:57PM)
... so you can still perform with them.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 28, 2009 08:16PM)
... when you find a rolled up hundred dollar bill in your drawer and hope theres a TT wrapped up in it. (nod to Jay ;))
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 28, 2009 08:24PM)
Everything we do in our daily life will always be weird to the lay public.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 29, 2009 07:18PM)
..but completely logical to us...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 29, 2009 08:05PM)
The first thing that is in your mind when you wake up in the morning is magic.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 29, 2009 10:22PM)
... and the last thing too!!!
Message: Posted by: Illusion & Beyond (Oct 29, 2009 10:47PM)
... when you have sponge balls in your shower.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 29, 2009 11:07PM)
You are occupied with magic 24/7/365.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Oct 30, 2009 09:19AM)
[quote]
On 2009-10-29 23:47, Illusion & Beyond wrote:
... when you have sponge balls in your shower.
[/quote]

And every suit, your car, etc..........
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 30, 2009 11:16AM)
... and your wife could not find her stuffs and all she see are sponge balls in every drawer and everywhere and she is also wondering whether you are a sponge ball dealer.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 30, 2009 11:18AM)
When you stuff your mattress with sponge balls instead of money.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 30, 2009 12:38PM)
... you give everybody on your gift list a copy of your new sponge ball routine.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 30, 2009 02:03PM)
... your friends think you went bonkers because you have 101 sponge ding dongs hanging on the ceiling.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 30, 2009 03:26PM)
..you can still think of posts for this thread...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 31, 2009 01:08AM)
... your humor can create laughters for other magicians.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 31, 2009 05:38AM)
Your jammies have Thurston and Houdini posters on them...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 31, 2009 11:12AM)
You transfer iron-on photos of magicians to your wife's clothings.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 31, 2009 11:35AM)
... you can fool all the people all the time.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 31, 2009 11:36AM)
... including yourself.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Oct 31, 2009 11:46AM)
When you own 15 pen through dollar's.

IM BACK!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 31, 2009 11:52AM)
You cannot resist posting at the Café :bg:

Welcome back, Maloney.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 31, 2009 12:01PM)
The bratty kids don't throw birthday cake at you...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Oct 31, 2009 01:55PM)
You have gone through every imaginable experiences as a performer.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 1, 2009 04:40AM)
Your name ends in "ini"...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 1, 2009 05:45AM)
... you try all kinds of unique marketing approaches to book your acts.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 1, 2009 06:01AM)
You practice sleights at work during breaks & lunch...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 1, 2009 06:05AM)
... you always try to prove your hands are empty every time you vanish something.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 1, 2009 11:40AM)
The bank teller counts your money three times.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 1, 2009 05:24PM)
... you have magician friends who would actually help you out in a jam.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 1, 2009 07:57PM)
You separate your change in your pocket so it won't talk.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 1, 2009 07:58PM)
It takes 3 bank tellers to watch your transaction...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 1, 2009 08:02PM)
... the waiters and waitresses refuse to accept your money.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 1, 2009 08:05PM)
You'll pay double for the return of all coins the cleaners find in your suit
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 1, 2009 08:06PM)
Your cleaners find torn cards in your pockets.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 1, 2009 08:19PM)
You even write checks with a Sharpie Pen.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 1, 2009 08:21PM)
... all your pens are gimmicked and you realised that you don't own a single normal pen.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 1, 2009 08:23PM)
You computer pass word is "one ahead"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 1, 2009 08:26PM)
... most of your friends are magicians, mentalist, comedians, etc.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 1, 2009 08:29PM)
You think that you are an artist with clear matte Krylon
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 1, 2009 08:50PM)
You start having a workshop like others do.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 1, 2009 08:51PM)
You start a rubber band collection.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 1, 2009 08:54PM)
You get obsessed with cups and balls collection.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 1, 2009 08:57PM)
You see a credit card as being one ahead.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 1, 2009 08:59PM)
You have a long shopping list for magic props.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 1, 2009 09:00PM)
You think something being in HD has to be Hearts and Diamonds
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 1, 2009 09:02PM)
You use playing cards as your business cards.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 1, 2009 09:04PM)
You know the Pips but not Glydas Knight
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 1, 2009 09:08PM)
You have all kinds of innovative business cards.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 1, 2009 09:10PM)
You honestly expect to find a heavy duty table that is light
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 1, 2009 09:12PM)
You continuously shop for the ideal table for your act.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 1, 2009 09:13PM)
No scrap of silk or rope is ever thrown away.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 1, 2009 09:14PM)
You know everything would be useful one day.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 1, 2009 09:18PM)
There is bird seed in your luggage.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 1, 2009 11:07PM)
... since your assistant is your publicist and your manager, your road manager and your travel agent and you're married to him or her, when something goes wrong you don't know who to blame.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 05:08AM)
You look for a method to have sock pulls to save bending over to put them on.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 05:38AM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-02 00:07, tabman wrote:
... since your assistant is your publicist and your manager, your road manager and your travel agent and you're married to him or her, when something goes wrong you don't know who to blame.
[/quote]

That is really a magician's nightmare.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 2, 2009 09:53AM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-02 06:08, Bob Sanders wrote:
You look for a method to have sock pulls to save bending over to put them on.
[/quote]

... you figure out where to anchor the pulls.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Nov 2, 2009 10:16AM)
...but the first place you tried hurt too much, especially the safety pin.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 10:26AM)
You know nobody expected you to use floral wire!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 10:45AM)
You use simple magic that can fool magicians.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 10:46AM)
On stage you still only trust a two-way forcing deck.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 10:50AM)
You think of 101 ways to steal items from yourself.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 10:51AM)
You know all the words and can sing along with the music but can't remember the card to be forced.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 10:53AM)
The secrets of magic always get your attention.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 10:55AM)
You know you are a magician when the dry cleaners ask if you want the dove pressed too.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 11:06AM)
Your cleaner is alway puzzled with all kinds of weird things he finds in your pocket.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 11:07AM)
Your vet tells you not to play with your food.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 11:14AM)
You look for the ideal false thumbs and hands.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 11:19AM)
Your pockets are full of money you can't afford to spend!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 11:28AM)
Lay audiences doesn't understand the jokes you are telling to other magicians.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 11:53AM)
Only the other magicians are recording your act.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 11:58AM)
Magicians are more interested in your act than the lay audiences.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 12:00PM)
You actually only go to the dentist to buy dental dam.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 12:03PM)
You are more interested in watching magic shows than movies.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 12:07PM)
When you refer to the Classics as Rice, Tarbell and Tony Slydini
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 12:21PM)
You spend your money in getting a huge magic library.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 01:22PM)
People count their finger after shaking hands with you.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 01:33PM)
People hold onto their wallets when they walk past you.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 01:34PM)
Tell your friends that you are planning to retire and they sincerely ask,
"From what?"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 01:37PM)
Your friends look at you strangely because you are not having a job.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 03:04PM)
When you ask your neighbors if they will save their old newspapers for you so you can tear them up and restore them.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 2, 2009 05:45PM)
You sleep in your sawing in half box...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 2, 2009 07:32PM)
You hide inside your modern cabinet when your ex-wife comes over.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 2, 2009 08:17PM)
... your wife and your ex-wife appear together on a documentary to talk about you.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 09:50PM)
None of the eggs in the house are to be used for food.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 10:06PM)
You use the himber wallet to appear money to pay fot the bill at the restaurant.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 2, 2009 10:16PM)
You always check your dollar bills for sequential serial numbers.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 2, 2009 10:32PM)
The dollar bills you are using to pay the bills are taped with scotch tapes.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 3, 2009 07:56AM)
You make an effort to keep matching quarters in one pocket
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 3, 2009 11:27AM)
You keep losing or spending your gaff coins.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 3, 2009 11:41AM)
You wonder what's in the trash you could use for a trick
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 3, 2009 11:54AM)
Your wife is wondering why you bought so many pairs of scissors.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 3, 2009 11:56AM)
When you say "Tape That" and it means repair it
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 3, 2009 11:59AM)
Your family is confused by all the magician's jargons in your conversations.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 3, 2009 12:20PM)
The kids at school and church know you but the adults don't.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 3, 2009 12:23PM)
You have a coin in clasic palm position all the time so you can have the opportunity to produce that coin the moment you are asked to do a trick.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 3, 2009 12:26PM)
Your house is decorated in all flat black and prism tape
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 3, 2009 12:30PM)
You test your effects on your children.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 3, 2009 12:33PM)
People call you Exlax behind your back. When you come they have to go.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 3, 2009 12:36PM)
You are known as, "Oh! That guy with the cards again!".
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 3, 2009 12:38PM)
Cats come to your house hoping doves are for lunch
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 3, 2009 12:42PM)
You are chasing away cats from your dove cages everyday.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 3, 2009 01:18PM)
Wash day means silk, silk, silk
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 3, 2009 02:42PM)
Your nite lite is a d'lite...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 3, 2009 03:47PM)
You do all you can to keep the inside of the cups dry
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 07:32AM)
Your daily chores are organizing your props.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 4, 2009 08:42AM)
There is no place to sit in the house because props and books are everywhere
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 08:44AM)
You spend time reading, studying and researching your magic books.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 4, 2009 08:49AM)
They ask you to do special effects for the school play
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 08:50AM)
Your little boy ask you to give a talk about magic in his school.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 4, 2009 09:02AM)
You are able to tell the IRS your income disappeared.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 09:07AM)
The public cannot understand how you can earn a living as a magician.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 4, 2009 09:29AM)
The teller at the bank asks that you keep your hands where she can see them.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 09:33AM)
Your friends do not want to play card games with you.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 4, 2009 09:34AM)
People won't give you their phone number because they know you have ESP and don't need their help.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 09:38AM)
It's normal to be jobless at certain times of the year.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 4, 2009 09:45AM)
.... you can keep up with James and Bob at the "Now that's funny..." game.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 09:49AM)
You try to let others keep up with your postings.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 4, 2009 10:07AM)
Even your kids have change bags.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 10:28AM)
Your family is your best stooges.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 4, 2009 10:33AM)
All of your pants are black and have clips around the waist.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 10:36AM)
All of your jackets have a topit installed.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 4, 2009 10:38AM)
You hear music and strike a poise and smile!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 10:45AM)
You just come alive and full of energy the moment you start performing.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 4, 2009 11:12AM)
You'll perform on stage with anybody, anywhere just anytime.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 11:18AM)
You cannot resist performing for anyone.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 4, 2009 11:40AM)
You go to a funeral hoping to find an audience
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 11:44AM)
Your T-shirt is a walking billboard to promote your shows.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 4, 2009 12:08PM)
You remember the exact same posts the were copied from 12 pages ago
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 12:15PM)
... that's a good one, Jay. :lol:
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 4, 2009 03:54PM)
... you can't buy burial insurance because of a pre-existing condition. You died on stage.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 4, 2009 04:43PM)
...you graduate from Dynamike's Academy.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 4, 2009 05:00PM)
You spent your school book money for Tarbell.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 4, 2009 08:05PM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-04 17:43, Dynamike wrote:
...you graduate from Dynamike's Academy.
[/quote]

Dynamike talked you into a refresher course, just a week after you graduated, and a lifetime membership to the magic Café (only 500 dollars).... which he will gladly take payments on.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 4, 2009 09:01PM)
You know you're a magician when your computer mouse has a pull on it.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 4, 2009 09:57PM)
You have 100 of your country's coins specially gaffed.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 5, 2009 10:50AM)
You work for whiffle dust.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 5, 2009 10:57AM)
... you smoke woofle dust.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 5, 2009 11:27AM)
... you are very particular with the amount of woofle dust you have in stock.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 5, 2009 11:42AM)
...you purchase Dynamike's book, "Chinese Linking Rings for Dummies."
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 5, 2009 11:50AM)
... and why you need many costumes for your magic performances.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 5, 2009 01:11PM)
... you keep your woofle dust in the freezer.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 5, 2009 07:29PM)
... you can talk endlessly about anything related to activities in a workshop with another magician.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 6, 2009 08:05AM)
... you keep an extra Eureka Table Base in your car.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 6, 2009 09:04AM)
... you know the importance of keeping spare props and accesorries.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 6, 2009 10:12AM)
You only carry Band-Aids to camouflage gimmicks.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 6, 2009 10:59AM)
... the crowds part and the fans applaud, dinner is free and the drinks are on the house all for the price of a good trick and a pleasing personality.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 6, 2009 11:02AM)
... They remind you to use the service entrance.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 6, 2009 12:07PM)
... you know where the service entrance is on every venue, hotel, joint and dive within 300 miles of your digs.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 6, 2009 12:10PM)
... you buy big marker pens by the dozen waitng to sign your autographs.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 6, 2009 06:19PM)
... people ask you if you can do David Blaine tricks.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 6, 2009 07:14PM)
When you know how much Mark Wilson's hands are worth.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 6, 2009 09:22PM)
... when you save the card boxes even if you throw the cards away.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 6, 2009 09:26PM)
... when you have more card boxes than playing cards in your cabinets.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 6, 2009 09:28PM)
When you have two closets full of partial decks, just in case you ever need a duplicate card.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 6, 2009 09:29PM)
... Many of decks are matched by suit and number but not backs.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 6, 2009 09:38PM)
... you can easily match a 52 cards deck in different backs from your closets.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 6, 2009 09:39PM)
... you intentionally mislabel things.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 6, 2009 09:49PM)
... you struggle to organize all your props.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 6, 2009 09:52PM)
Your whole magic act fits in a cigar box, but all the magic props you own fill up two warehouses.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 6, 2009 09:55PM)
... carry a trailer load of props and get on stage and borrow a dollar.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 6, 2009 09:58PM)
... you spend more on props and books than on your clothings.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 6, 2009 09:59PM)
... even your shoe laces are gimmicked.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 6, 2009 10:09PM)
... everything you wear, from head to toe, is gimmicked.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 6, 2009 10:28PM)
... they refuse to send the offering plate down your row at church.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 6, 2009 10:38PM)
...you graduate from a 5 year Linking Ring class.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 6, 2009 10:40PM)
... when Dynamike shows you the Michigan Ocean
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 6, 2009 10:50PM)
...you noticed Photius posting on Dynamike's threads.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 6, 2009 11:08PM)
You can't decide to buy a new prop or buy a pizza.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 7, 2009 04:57AM)
You spoon keeps sticking to your ring...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 7, 2009 04:59AM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-07 00:08, Father Photius wrote:
You can't decide to buy a new prop or buy a pizza.
[/quote]

You finally decided to buy a fake pizza that is now a prop you are not going to use.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 7, 2009 06:18AM)
And you practice delivering it...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 7, 2009 07:05AM)
You just feel good hanging around with the buddies here.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 7, 2009 09:05AM)
You wait for a special price on pizzas but order magic props ASAP!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 7, 2009 09:24AM)
You get excited when magic shops are having special offers.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 7, 2009 09:33AM)
... you see all your other magician friends in the toy section of Dollar Tree.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 7, 2009 09:36AM)
... and the public see a bunch of guys comparing toys with each other.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 7, 2009 09:48AM)
..and giggling like children...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 7, 2009 09:55AM)
... and then taking things apart like children.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 7, 2009 09:58AM)
..and getting funny looks from the other customers...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 7, 2009 10:04AM)
...who also join in breaking those toys apart ...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 7, 2009 02:17PM)
... you buy the Silly Puddy for the plastic egg.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 7, 2009 04:39PM)
... you can convince your new girlfriend to wear a skimpy costume and become a contortionist who works for peanuts.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 7, 2009 06:07PM)
You have been banned from every restaurant in town for bending the silverware.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 7, 2009 06:26PM)
You volunteer to sub for the sick performer at the Castle...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 7, 2009 08:23PM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-07 17:39, tabman wrote:
... you can convince your new girlfriend to wear a skimpy costume and become a contortionist who works for peanuts.
[/quote]

How do you do that, Tabman? Any tips? :lol: Let me start finding a new girlfriend now. :bg:
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 7, 2009 10:21PM)
You have to rebuild your zig zag to a larger version every year after marrying your assistant.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 7, 2009 10:50PM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-07 21:23, JamesTong wrote:...How do you do that, Tabman? Any tips? :lol: Let me start finding a new girlfriend now. :bg:
[/quote]

The keyword is "new" as in new girlfriend. Show her a few tricks and when she coos, "I just love magic," invite her over to your digs. The rest, of course, is up to you.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 8, 2009 02:33AM)
When you reach Eternal Order on the Café.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 8, 2009 03:52AM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-07 23:50, tabman wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-11-07 21:23, JamesTong wrote:...How do you do that, Tabman? Any tips? :lol: Let me start finding a new girlfriend now. :bg:
[/quote]

The keyword is "new" as in new girlfriend. Show her a few tricks and when she coos, "I just love magic," invite her over to your digs. The rest, of course, is up to you.
[/quote]

Gee, that's simple and I could do that :lol:
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 8, 2009 05:42AM)
You drive around in your ragtop, wearing a fez...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 8, 2009 06:12AM)
You have a magic wand.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 8, 2009 08:39AM)
Your cape has a big "M" instead of an "S"...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 8, 2009 09:02AM)
You have a top hat and a vanishing cane.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 8, 2009 03:45PM)
When you look into your bank account and all of your money has disappeared.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 8, 2009 06:15PM)
Then... I'm a magician.

- - - - -

When your long (no one want's to hear it) message on you answering machine has any song with the word Magic, in it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 8, 2009 06:44PM)
You walk through the pay toilet door without paying...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 8, 2009 08:00PM)
You are always wanting to buy another prop.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 8, 2009 08:28PM)
... you can entertain an entire audience using only a pack of cards, a piece of rope and a few coins.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 8, 2009 08:41PM)
... you can perform, to magicians, for hours with only a deck of cards.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 9, 2009 09:19AM)
... you have to tell guests not to use certain glasses; they're props.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 9, 2009 10:03AM)
... you stay booked up for months in advance.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 9, 2009 10:41AM)
... nothing in your house is real.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 9, 2009 03:02PM)
...you've read all of Dynamike's post.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 9, 2009 05:23PM)
You have a permanent reservation at the Magic Castle hotel.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 9, 2009 05:40PM)
...you were born with a magic wand in front of you.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 9, 2009 08:06PM)
You are asked to do reviews of latest effects.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 10, 2009 02:42AM)
You receive a lot of email from magic shops.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 10, 2009 07:27AM)
You sign up for every available email newsletter from all online magic shops.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 10, 2009 08:04AM)
You read the Ring and Assembly reports and know when there is a new name in them.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 10, 2009 08:11AM)
You treasure every magic DVD, book, booklet, magazine and lecture notes.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 10, 2009 09:47AM)
You tell yourself one day, "I gotta get myself a job."
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 10, 2009 09:59AM)
You are so used to being jobless.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 10, 2009 10:40AM)
... you are no longer telling yourself you got to get a job and start complaining about having too many jobs.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 10, 2009 01:49PM)
... you pants legs have snags from hooked coins.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 10, 2009 05:58PM)
... you do the Miser's Dream like a real miser.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 10, 2009 06:41PM)
... you save broken guitar strings to use in building props.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 10, 2009 08:38PM)
You hang your clothes on an invisible hook...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 10, 2009 08:38PM)
...you walk out of a magic shop with holes in each pocket.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 10, 2009 08:56PM)
... the elevator door opens and you take a bow.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 10, 2009 09:04PM)
... you never have enough money to buy all those props you want.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 10, 2009 09:06PM)
... your shirts have cuffs but no sleeves.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 10, 2009 10:19PM)
... you save money with white cuffs stapled into your jacket sleeves.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 10, 2009 10:22PM)
The term "pull" has nothing to do with politics
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 10, 2009 10:26PM)
... you laugh at jokes no normal people would laugh at.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 11, 2009 02:19AM)
...you are able to shuffle cards with your toes.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 11, 2009 03:57AM)
... you see future props through pieces of raw wood.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 11, 2009 06:14AM)
... when you ask for volunteers and no one will look you in the eye.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 11, 2009 10:05AM)
... you always ask the spectator for a hundred dollars bill and no one volunteered.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 11, 2009 10:48AM)
... your animal feed bill is a major part of your budget.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 11, 2009 11:21AM)
... there's more work involved in preparing for the show than the show itself.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 11, 2009 07:23PM)
... when nobody knows your name but calls you "that magic guy".
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 11, 2009 08:42PM)
You're not ashamed your car is full of so much junk, that you don't have no room for no one else. :stuckinbag:
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 11, 2009 09:27PM)
You bought a deck of cards, a few coins, a drawer box, some silks, a magic wand and you are ready to go full time.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 11, 2009 09:44PM)
You thought it was more important to know thirty ways to do the trick poorly than one way to perform it well.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 11, 2009 10:04PM)
...you have a video uploaded in YouTube.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 11, 2009 10:06PM)
... you spend you life getting videos taken by the audience with cell phones off YouTube.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 11, 2009 10:08PM)
... people call you "The Magician".
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 11, 2009 10:41PM)
You burned all of your directions.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 11, 2009 10:47PM)
You just know you are a magician.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 12, 2009 01:51AM)
You put over 500 post in the "Now that's funny" forum.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 12, 2009 03:12AM)
You do everything possible to be a good entertaining magician.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 12, 2009 08:58AM)
... you have personal experience with Miss Direction
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 12, 2009 11:01AM)
... someone writes about you in the papers.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 12, 2009 11:16AM)
... you think you can explain invisible hair.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 12, 2009 11:19AM)
... you start showing off your 36" rainbow silk.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 12, 2009 02:35PM)
..you have 100 answers to "How did you do that?"...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 12, 2009 05:19PM)
...you are no longer a mentalist.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 12, 2009 05:23PM)
... you stop worrying about whether you are or you aren't a magician and just accept the fact that you are who you are - a magician.

Posted: Nov 12, 2009 6:24pm
There's worse things!!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 12, 2009 05:26PM)
...you greet people with "Abracadabra."
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 12, 2009 07:19PM)
You wave a blendo flag on veterans day...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 12, 2009 09:35PM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-12 18:23, tabman wrote:
... you stop worrying about whether you are or you aren't a magician and just accept the fact that you are who you are - a magician.
[/quote]

I fully agree, Tabman. A magician talking to another magician :lol:
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 12, 2009 10:35PM)
You can only tie false knots.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 13, 2009 12:09AM)
You tie more false knots than real knots.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 14, 2009 04:40AM)
You do a 1 second quick change into your jammies...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 14, 2009 05:41AM)
You can perform the Svengali deck blind folded.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 14, 2009 05:55AM)
You have 8 card packet effects in your wallet...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 14, 2009 05:58AM)
... your wallet only contains cards and coins tricks.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 14, 2009 07:52AM)
..you carry a trick wallet in each pocket...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 14, 2009 07:57AM)
... you are a walking magic prop case.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Nov 14, 2009 08:56AM)
...you insist on showing people your "Pride and Joy."
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 14, 2009 09:00AM)
... you keep showing off your latest four ace routine.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 14, 2009 09:01AM)
You can link the rings on your fob...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 14, 2009 09:05AM)
...you have a friend that work as a stooge for you all the time.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 15, 2009 05:03AM)
You can wash the dishes wih 2 coins palmed...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 15, 2009 10:04AM)
... you dress to look like one all the time.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 15, 2009 12:31PM)
... you manage to go through life not working.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 15, 2009 12:34PM)
... you are not following the 9 to 5 schedule everyday.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 15, 2009 08:13PM)
... you save your name tags from magic conventions that are over.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 15, 2009 11:14PM)
... your real hero is a snake oil salesman named Doctor Hoodwink.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 16, 2009 05:26AM)
You have season tickets to all the magic conventions...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 16, 2009 06:36AM)
... you can amuse yourself with all the props you have in the house.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 16, 2009 07:34AM)
... you ask people for the containers their stuff is in when it's emptied to use in prop building
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 16, 2009 09:18AM)
All your packet tricks are arranged in alphabetical order...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 16, 2009 09:41AM)
... your neighbours are giving you their junks because you want them for prop building.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 16, 2009 02:05PM)
You buy 3 tickets to the magic show...one for you, one for your coat, and
one for your popcorn...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 16, 2009 05:44PM)
You design your routine around the colors of props you own.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 16, 2009 08:43PM)
You do a tap dance along with the dancing cane routine.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 17, 2009 05:29AM)
Your family photo album is full of famous magicians...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 17, 2009 05:43AM)
You take photographs of you posing with every prop you have.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 17, 2009 06:12AM)
You never buy cards just one deck at a time.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 17, 2009 07:45AM)
... you are just so eager to watch any magic act.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 17, 2009 02:58PM)
Your belt has oriental designs on it...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 17, 2009 03:33PM)
You never get your fishing line wet.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 17, 2009 10:14PM)
... you have all kinds of magic club membership certificate hung on the wall.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 17, 2009 11:18PM)
... you can turn your personality and a few props into a living for your family.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 18, 2009 11:03AM)
... people cannot understand how you can earn a living with a deck of cards, 2 sponge balls and a few coins.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 18, 2009 11:07AM)
...you are a magician.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 18, 2009 11:31AM)
... you can perform magic with anything everywhere you go.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 18, 2009 12:15PM)
...you have been around a lot of VIPs.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 18, 2009 12:20PM)
...and they say the same thing about you. ;)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 18, 2009 12:21PM)
... you became a serious student of magic.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 18, 2009 12:52PM)
... you know when it's time to get back to work!!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 18, 2009 12:54PM)
... you are always busy with magic.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 18, 2009 01:29PM)
...Dynamike has you on his avatar.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 18, 2009 01:30PM)
... you keep searching for historical roots of magic.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 18, 2009 02:55PM)
And you know where to find them.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 18, 2009 03:03PM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-18 14:29, Dynamike wrote:
...Dynamike has you on his avatar.
[/quote]

[img]http://questx.com/dm_jt.jpg[/img]
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 18, 2009 04:49PM)
Thank God, James is a magician.

LOL
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 18, 2009 08:57PM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-18 16:03, tabman wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-11-18 14:29, Dynamike wrote:
...Dynamike has you on his avatar.
[/quote]

[img]http://questx.com/dm_jt.jpg[/img]
[/quote]

That's a good one, Tabman. And I agree too.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 18, 2009 10:10PM)
... you look like Elvis with shades on.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 18, 2009 11:22PM)
... your car bonnet has a huge word "MAGICIAN" on it.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 19, 2009 10:21AM)
... your car wears a bonnet. ;)
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 19, 2009 12:19PM)
...your first baby word was "magic".
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 19, 2009 01:19PM)
... you know what a classic palm is.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 19, 2009 01:43PM)
...you see "magician" written all over you face in the mirror.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 19, 2009 01:45PM)
... you know what a magician's force is.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 19, 2009 02:01PM)
...you get invited over Dynamike's house.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 19, 2009 02:53PM)
... Dynamike finally invites you over and you're already partying with the tabman and James.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 19, 2009 05:35PM)
... and a few pretty girls and some hot strippers.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 19, 2009 05:55PM)
...you know how to spell magician backwards.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 19, 2009 06:00PM)
... you start writing your first magic book.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 19, 2009 06:08PM)
...you are able to keep posting with James.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 19, 2009 06:10PM)
... you can do a few things at the same time while posting at the Café.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 19, 2009 06:11PM)
"Now that's Funny" is where you expect to find your friends.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 19, 2009 06:15PM)
... you can hang out at the Café 24/7/365.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 19, 2009 06:53PM)
...you pay for a commercial looking for an assistant?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 19, 2009 08:21PM)
You keep everything out of your pockets that you don't use in magic.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 19, 2009 10:18PM)
... you pull a rabbit out of a hat and it isn't your hat or your rabbit.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 20, 2009 03:34AM)
...you become rich by performing the Misers Dream.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 20, 2009 09:46AM)
... you can perform a great act using Dynamike's props.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 20, 2009 10:37AM)
You deliberately make change for someone giving them the dollar with the serial number you are going to predict later.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 20, 2009 10:45AM)
... you are just waiting for the right time and opportunity to perform something for anyone.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 20, 2009 11:20AM)
... every time someone walks up you ask people to give them a hand.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Nov 20, 2009 11:40AM)
You go back and re-read all the previous posts looking for new material.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 20, 2009 11:46AM)
... you land a job with NASA to do magic on the moon.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 20, 2009 12:21PM)
... Homeland Security doesn't give you your shoes back.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 20, 2009 12:27PM)
...Jehovah Witnesses refuse to let you in there building.
Message: Posted by: drumdemon420 (Nov 20, 2009 01:14PM)
[quote]
On 2009-09-18 21:02, dlcmagic wrote:
[b]You know that you're a magician when ...[/b]

The oldest deck of cards in use in your possession was purchased a week ago and you're ready to toss it.
[/quote]

So true, My grandfather loves to play various forms of solitaire and he has stacks of decks that are "like brand new."

He was the first person to show me how to play rummy and poker. That's where it all began. Just thought I would share.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 20, 2009 01:36PM)
... everyone else agree that you are a magician.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 20, 2009 02:18PM)
...Dynamike is willing to hand you a diploma.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 20, 2009 03:46PM)
You have your playing cards bronzed...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 20, 2009 04:46PM)
...your fingers begin to get numb from being on the Café.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 20, 2009 07:56PM)
..your bum also gets numb...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 20, 2009 09:29PM)
Your cheer is "Pip, Pip Hoo Ray!"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 20, 2009 09:32PM)
You have all kinds of food and drinks next to your computer so you can have a party posting here.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 20, 2009 09:35PM)
You tie your shoes in a false knot.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 20, 2009 09:36PM)
... you wear all kinds of magnetic gimmicks on your body.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 20, 2009 10:11PM)
You are just as likely to bear thread as to be threadbare
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 20, 2009 10:21PM)
... you weigh an extra 25 pounds because of all those things in your pockets and all over the body.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 21, 2009 05:18AM)
..and 100 extra pounds because you can't get away from the computer...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 21, 2009 08:09AM)
... every inch of the wall in your house is pasted with magicians' photographs from all round the world.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 21, 2009 10:02AM)
... you create tricks with trash for props.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 21, 2009 10:07AM)
... you wear 10 rings on your fingers and thumbs and they are all gaffed.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 21, 2009 10:46AM)
... when you grab a door knob and your ring won't let go.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 21, 2009 10:58AM)
... you can transcend the obvious and find new methods for accomplishing the seeming impossible.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 21, 2009 12:40PM)
...you get arrested by the Secret Service for tearing up USA currency.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 21, 2009 01:08PM)
... you can self-levitate to great heights.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 21, 2009 02:52PM)
You end your prayers with amen-adabra...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 21, 2009 04:29PM)
... you have to put wands on layaway at the magic shop.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 21, 2009 04:53PM)
You remember to tell a new assistant.

"Not a bad show - but you're not done until everything is put away without breaking something THEN I can tell you if you did a good job or not".

Tough love baby.... Did you know that 90 percent of all dings and broken props are caused by assistants? The other ten percent is from people trying to get out of a strait jacket for the first time and they knock over their own stuff.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 21, 2009 06:18PM)
You can fix your car with woofle dust...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 21, 2009 06:24PM)
You have to raid you magic props for fishing tackle
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 21, 2009 07:21PM)
You collect giant cardboard boxes to build cheap illusions...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 21, 2009 08:38PM)
You save the plastic tops off spray paint cans to use with props.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 21, 2009 09:11PM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-21 17:53, jay leslie wrote:

Tough love baby.... Did you know that 90 percent of all dings and broken props are caused by assistants? The other ten percent is from people trying to get out of a strait jacket for the first time and they knock over their own stuff.
[/quote]

Wow! I didn't realise that, Jay. That's because I perform solo all the time. And thank goodness for that.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 21, 2009 09:16PM)
You refuse help from stage hands.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 21, 2009 09:20PM)
... your business card say you are a magician.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 21, 2009 09:30PM)
... you look for ways to do ordinary thing in a magical way.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 21, 2009 09:32PM)
... you do the paper to money trick every time you pay for something you bought.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 21, 2009 09:36PM)
... you ask the waiter if he would rather have a tip or a magic trick.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 21, 2009 09:39PM)
... the waiter handed you back the Thumb tip you dropped under the chair.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 21, 2009 10:41PM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-21 22:39, JamesTong wrote:
... the waiter handed you back the Thumb tip you dropped under the chair.
[/quote]

... and you say, "That's not mine, I have no idea what it is."
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 21, 2009 10:49PM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-21 23:41, tabman wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-11-21 22:39, JamesTong wrote:
... the waiter handed you back the Thumb tip you dropped under the chair.
[/quote]

... and you say, "That's not mine, I have no idea what it is."
[/quote]

... and you create all kinds of excuses to have it back.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 21, 2009 11:19PM)
... you can find 'em and fool 'em and they love you for it.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 21, 2009 11:23PM)
... all those pretty gals like to watch you perform anything.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 21, 2009 11:55PM)
... Any audience will do.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 22, 2009 05:34AM)
You use some of the wax ring from the toilet for magicians wax...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 22, 2009 06:44AM)
... it jst feels good to perform.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 22, 2009 09:58AM)
You would rather practice your magic than jog...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 22, 2009 10:30AM)
... Joseph says you are.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 22, 2009 05:16PM)
... you make a DVD just to see the same dull trick over and over.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 22, 2009 06:06PM)
...video cameras come out whenever you perform.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 22, 2009 06:56PM)
..but your family won't record another minute of your act...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 22, 2009 06:56PM)
...you have no shows to perform at this weekend because of the economy.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 22, 2009 07:11PM)
... you are grateful for foreigners who saved their money to see your show.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 22, 2009 07:30PM)
...when you are on a street corner saying "Can I have some change? I got no money because of the economy."
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 22, 2009 07:42PM)
... think of the unemployed as a potential audience.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 22, 2009 08:28PM)
... and they give you their last cash as a tip you know you're a magician.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 22, 2009 08:38PM)
... they come to see you rather than the menu.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 22, 2009 10:38PM)
... Max Maven borrows a TT from you.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 23, 2009 08:20AM)
... You never ask How?
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 23, 2009 08:21AM)
... you never stop buying props, books and gimmicks.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 23, 2009 08:31AM)
... you spray paint safety pins black.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 23, 2009 08:34AM)
... you use bandaids not for injuries.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 23, 2009 09:58AM)
... department stores assign a security guy to watch you.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 23, 2009 10:00AM)
... anything can be related to magic to you.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 23, 2009 10:16AM)
... you see your hair is vanishing...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 23, 2009 10:17AM)
... those bratty kids call you 'magician'.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 23, 2009 10:46AM)
... you can easily make the impossible seem possible.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 23, 2009 10:54AM)
... you can make the possible become impossible.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 23, 2009 03:27PM)
The spectator has no answer to how a trick was done...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 23, 2009 03:34PM)
... your underwear has the picture of a force card on it.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 23, 2009 05:18PM)
You have your own theme song.

When you have more then 5 magical suits (Clothes).

When your answering machine has some stupid "Magic" song on it.

When you convince your wife or gfriend to answer the phone, The amazing.......fill in......how can we help you.

When other magicians recommend you.

When you can post your calendar, on the net, and 20 days a month are shows.

When you take a loan out and you list your primary occupation as magician.

When you can prove to the loan officer that you are.

When your yellow pages advertising is paying for itself (good luck... you're not a magician - you're a miracle worker)

When you order 250,000 numbered tickets with your name on them..... and you have to reorder every 8 years.

When you have to beat the disk jockey to the hotel so you can establish how much space you need and thay can't glut-up the entire stage.

When you have to stay there to 2:30 am because the disk jockey blocked you in and he won't move his car because you beat him to the hotel.

When you have learned to carry a pneumatic car-jack so you can move the disk jockeys van about 8 feet so you can get out anyway...... don't laugh, I've done it.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 23, 2009 05:48PM)
...someone approaches you and say, "Did Dynamike teach you that?"
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 23, 2009 07:10PM)
Or they say... I see that was done correctly, so Dynamike didn't teach you!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 23, 2009 08:46PM)
You shave the 4 suits into your scalp...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 24, 2009 04:54AM)
...you perform your last show.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 24, 2009 10:58AM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-23 18:18, jay leslie wrote:....carry a pneumatic car-jack so you can move the disk jockeys van about 8 feet so you can get out anyway...... don't laugh, I've done it.
[/quote]

Jay, you are officially now one of my heros.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 24, 2009 02:00PM)
... nobody actually knows your name.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 24, 2009 03:36PM)
People throw rice at a wedding...
You throw business cards...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 24, 2009 07:12PM)
...you join 100 magician website forums.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 24, 2009 07:36PM)
..and have 50,000 posts on each one...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 24, 2009 10:11PM)
... half of all your clothing is black.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 25, 2009 12:06AM)
You pull out an old video of Tony Slydini and fondly remember him and Jim Cellini
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 25, 2009 05:24AM)
You can make a Tommy Wonder trick...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 25, 2009 05:28AM)
...you are wondering what happened to James.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 25, 2009 08:21AM)
A silversmith carries your business card.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 25, 2009 08:25AM)
... while you watch that old Slydini tape your smile is crooked too.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 25, 2009 04:29PM)
Other magicians phony-phone call you to get your rates. (Dynamikes is $158 dollars and 50 cents... he would just be "50 Cent" but that name is already taken)
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 25, 2009 05:34PM)
..you can say "I don't know" and it means nothing!
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 25, 2009 07:17PM)
You tell the audience that you have no idea how many cards you're putting down

While you secretly push them off - three sets of three - into your other hand then face down

and/or

You tell the audience what to look for while you have already "done" it.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 25, 2009 08:06PM)
...you have "Dynamike" in your name.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 25, 2009 08:12PM)
... you don't have a Full Deck!
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 25, 2009 08:14PM)
...you sit by the phone all day hoping for a phone call.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 25, 2009 08:17PM)
... your decks of cards have the same faces but not the same backs.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 25, 2009 08:21PM)
...you've read all of Dynamike's magic books.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 25, 2009 09:39PM)
... you know one fake egg from another...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 25, 2009 11:58PM)
... you can make a turkey dinner disappear.

Happy Turkey day everybody!!

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 26, 2009 02:20AM)
...you can make a turkey dinner appear.

Same to you, Tabman.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 26, 2009 09:42AM)
You produce a turkey from a silk....
Happy Thanksgving!...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 26, 2009 10:27AM)
... you assume there must be a source for a turkey harness.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 27, 2009 12:16PM)
Your boat paddles have 2 spots on one side...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 27, 2009 12:21PM)
You save certain rubber bands.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 27, 2009 04:49PM)
You belong to 15 magic clubs or organizations...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 27, 2009 07:09PM)
People ask, "Is that your real name?"
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Nov 27, 2009 07:52PM)
People ask, "Is that what you do full time or do you have another job?"
Message: Posted by: Frankie (Nov 27, 2009 08:31PM)
When Hans Klok asks you for pointers.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 27, 2009 09:25PM)
... you have the savvy of Vernon, the skill of Jennings, the eye of Biro, the ear of Tabman and the moxie of Dynamike.
Message: Posted by: Frankie (Nov 28, 2009 07:25AM)
...you are asked by the C.I.A. to write a manual about trickery and deception.

...you can make yourself and your assistant appear in a blue room in a white house. ;)
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 28, 2009 09:08AM)
... your idea of being well read includes Linking Ring, MUM, Magic and Genii.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 28, 2009 10:34AM)
...you go to one of Bob Sanders' lectures.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 28, 2009 11:43AM)
... You can stay awake through a magic lecture.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 28, 2009 02:34PM)
... you're booked to do a magic lecture.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 28, 2009 05:33PM)
... you forget that you are a business professor and lecture on magic instead.
Message: Posted by: cardphreak (Nov 28, 2009 09:27PM)
When your handed a deck you immediately

1. Palm a card
2. Grab a break
3. Add fanning powder

just in case
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 28, 2009 10:59PM)
You can only use scissors that will cut rope.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 29, 2009 11:44AM)
You can name 6 different manufactures or cards, ttips, silks and strait jackets
Message: Posted by: Bean (Nov 29, 2009 12:00PM)
You spend Black Friday on the Internet, checking to see if any magic dealer has any special sales.

You signed up to every magician's and dealer's Twitter feed "just in case".

Your husband wonders why every sales receipt from Costco includes a 12-pack of Bikes.

There are five or more partially read or re-read magic books on the couch and all have playing cards as bookmarks.

The librarian hands you the books you requested and says, "Oh, look. Magic. Again." Or pretends to have an attack of the vapors if you ordered a non-magic-related book.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Nov 29, 2009 01:20PM)
[quote]
On 2009-11-29 13:00, Bean wrote:
There are five or more partially read or re-read magic books on the couch and all have playing cards as bookmarks.
[/quote]

And they're marked cards !
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 29, 2009 07:26PM)
You don't know anyone with a full deck.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 29, 2009 07:52PM)
... Dynamike says you are.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 29, 2009 08:22PM)
... Tabman feeds you at his house!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Nov 30, 2009 10:33AM)
... you understand and agree with everything posted here.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 30, 2009 02:30PM)
... your shoes won't stay tied.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Nov 30, 2009 08:31PM)
... you can be on, and pull it off at the same time.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 30, 2009 10:01PM)
... you have at least three "outs" for every effect
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 1, 2009 02:24AM)
... you have another three 'outs' for your 'outs'?
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 1, 2009 04:50AM)
...you can do the Classic Pass behind your back.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 1, 2009 06:12AM)
... you can do all kinds of passes without even blinking your eyelid.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 1, 2009 10:30AM)
... your Mom finally introduces you, "And this is my son, The Magician!"
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 1, 2009 06:06PM)
Your parents tell you to stay in school, or wind up being a magician...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Dec 1, 2009 07:04PM)
All of your dining room chairs can turn into suitcases !
http://houseofenchantment.com/pages/chair%20to%20suitcase.html
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 1, 2009 08:09PM)
... you feel good to be called a magician.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 1, 2009 11:26PM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-01 20:04, dlcmagic wrote:
All of your dining room chairs can turn into suitcases !
http://houseofenchantment.com/pages/chair%20to%20suitcase.html
[/quote]

What a great chair. Jay, you are special!!

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 2, 2009 08:12AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-02 00:26, tabman wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-12-01 20:04, dlcmagic wrote:
All of your dining room chairs can turn into suitcases !
http://houseofenchantment.com/pages/chair%20to%20suitcase.html
[/quote]

What a great chair. Jay, you are special!!

-=tabman
[/quote]

I agree with you, Tabman. The workmanship is superb.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 2, 2009 10:03AM)
When your bank security guard says "help me solve this".
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 2, 2009 10:07AM)
... you are invited as a magician to talk about magic at your kid's school.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 2, 2009 02:35PM)
... you graduate from Clown College with a degree in Magic.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 2, 2009 05:36PM)
You only buy cotton rope.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 2, 2009 05:53PM)
... when Bob Sanders names some silk magic after you.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 2, 2009 07:44PM)
... Tabman names a wand after you.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 2, 2009 10:42PM)
... I received a parcel and from it appears the Great Tongini wand and the Tongini super Blendo :bg:
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 3, 2009 12:05AM)
... JamesTong names a set of balls after you.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 3, 2009 02:31AM)
... you love reading magic catalogs everyday.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Dec 3, 2009 05:10AM)
...you call Dynamike to review your act.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 3, 2009 06:30AM)
... you love performing your latest routine.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 3, 2009 11:49AM)
... you never throw away an old magic catalog.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 3, 2009 12:00PM)
... you never throw away anything.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 3, 2009 12:01PM)
... you have boxes and bags of parts to tricks you can't find.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 3, 2009 12:02PM)
... your wife is wandering whether you are a junk collector.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 3, 2009 12:08PM)
... the card in your wallet is not your driver's license.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 3, 2009 12:09PM)
... it takes 3 hours to unload everything from your car before you can start cleaning it.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 3, 2009 12:12PM)
... the Postman puts down your packages and runs!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 3, 2009 12:20PM)
... the Postman always ask you to perform a new trick.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Dec 3, 2009 12:40PM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-03 13:08, Bob Sanders wrote:
... the card in your wallet is not your driver's license.
[/quote]

You're drivers licence picture has a small piece of red sponge where your nose should be.(great gag!) P.M.and Ask me!!!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 3, 2009 12:51PM)
... your real name is Ma Gic Ian.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 3, 2009 01:09PM)
Nothing that you spell makes sense.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Dec 3, 2009 02:02PM)
...when you're delighted to get a deck of cards for Christmas.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 3, 2009 03:27PM)
... you can turn your staff into a snake... surrounded.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 3, 2009 03:48PM)
Is that in mixed company?
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 3, 2009 04:07PM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-01 20:04, dlcmagic wrote:
All of your dining room chairs can turn into suitcases !
http://houseofenchantment.com/pages/chair%20to%20suitcase.html
[/quote]

You should see my couch become a steamer trunk.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 3, 2009 11:13PM)
... your favorite tie has playing cards printed on it.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 4, 2009 12:35AM)
There is no room in your closet for clothes or room on your garage for a car.

Posted: Dec 4, 2009 1:37am
Your wife carries a deck of cards in her purse.

Posted: Dec 4, 2009 1:38am
When the word paddle is mentioned you do not think first about a boat.

Posted: Dec 4, 2009 1:40am
The autographed pictures in your house are not from Hollywood.

Posted: Dec 4, 2009 1:41am
You have a top hat but no tails in your closet.

Posted: Dec 4, 2009 1:43am
You know Tabman is someone who makes magic and not someone who works for the IRS.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 4, 2009 05:57AM)
... your buddies at the Café don't call you a magician.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 4, 2009 12:41PM)
Your laundry room is loaded with thumb tips.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 4, 2009 01:33PM)
... you practise in your dreams.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 4, 2009 03:09PM)
..you dream of practicing...
Message: Posted by: TKO MAGIC (Dec 4, 2009 04:33PM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-04 01:37, hbwolkov wrote:
Your wife carries a deck of cards in her purse.
[/quote]

This is so true.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 4, 2009 05:01PM)
... your wife knows the force cards trick by trick.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 4, 2009 08:04PM)
You can fool your wife twice in a row...
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Dec 4, 2009 08:15PM)
...you have cats named Sigfried and Roy.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 4, 2009 08:23PM)
... you have your house set up like the Holiday Inn.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 4, 2009 09:58PM)
... you can watch a magic show and enjoyed it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 5, 2009 06:35AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-04 21:15, Bill Ligon wrote:
...you have cats named Sigfried and Roy.
[/quote]

.. and Penn & Teller...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Dec 5, 2009 07:14AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-05 07:35, joseph wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-12-04 21:15, Bill Ligon wrote:
...you have cats named Sigfried and Roy.
[/quote]

.. and Penn & Teller...
[/quote]

And a rabbit named Thurston !
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 5, 2009 08:57AM)
People come to church to see your gospel magic...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Dec 5, 2009 09:09AM)
You're close-up case is always packed and ready to go by the door
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 5, 2009 10:13AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-05 08:14, dlcmagic wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-12-05 07:35, joseph wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-12-04 21:15, Bill Ligon wrote:
...you have cats named Sigfried and Roy.
[/quote]

.. and Penn & Teller...
[/quote]

And a rabbit named Thurston !
[/quote]

... and a duck named Quakini
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 5, 2009 01:44PM)
You wear out 2 computer chairs and 3 keyboards and mouse pads because you can't get off the Café...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 5, 2009 03:01PM)
... you know how to drink from a Dribble Glass and not get wet.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 5, 2009 03:38PM)
... the cat's name is Adam 12 because she is a black & white.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 5, 2009 09:33PM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-05 16:01, tabman wrote:
... you know how to drink from a Dribble Glass and not get wet.
[/quote]

What's a Dribble Glass???
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 5, 2009 09:52PM)
Typical joke shop item back in the day. A glass that leaked water on the person trying to drink out of it. The only way not to get wet is not drink from it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 6, 2009 06:14AM)
Your have a magic castle beach towel ...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 6, 2009 07:20AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-05 22:52, tabman wrote:
Typical joke shop item back in the day. A glass that leaked water on the person trying to drink out of it. The only way not to get wet is not drink from it.
[/quote]

Thanks, tabman. I actually haven't seen one before.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 6, 2009 11:34AM)
In that case, would you like a glass of grape juice, Tongini?... :) ...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 6, 2009 01:11PM)
You have 250 different glasses (collection) that do everything from the above to a Vent Drinking Glass to the candy tricks and even some Fill-Mores. (tip of the iceberg)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 6, 2009 01:21PM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-06 12:34, joseph wrote:
In that case, would you like a glass of grape juice, Tongini?... :) ...
[/quote]

That would be nice ... with a slice of orange, please :lol:
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 6, 2009 04:04PM)
You mark your socks Right and Left.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 6, 2009 09:14PM)
... you have everything labelled in your house so you would know exactly where your props are.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 7, 2009 08:47AM)
You never break the seal on a deck of cards.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 7, 2009 02:50PM)
Your bachelor party is held in the magic castle...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Dec 7, 2009 03:38PM)
You live in the Magic Castle !!
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Dec 7, 2009 03:38PM)
You OWN the Magic Castle !!!!!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 7, 2009 05:40PM)
... you believe people are talking about California when they say "Back at the Castle".
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 8, 2009 03:28PM)
You tip the waitress 2 silver dollars...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 8, 2009 05:26PM)
... adults ask if you can do a show for adults too.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 9, 2009 12:01PM)
... everything that is weird makes sense to you.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 9, 2009 12:05PM)
... you're on Youtube and you didn't post it yourself.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 9, 2009 12:08PM)
... you dress up as a magician at least once a week even if you do not have any shows.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 9, 2009 01:32PM)
You search the north pole for Tabman...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 9, 2009 02:37PM)
... you know an Ace from a hole in the ground.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 9, 2009 06:39PM)
... the zipper you check first is on your change bag.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 9, 2009 07:13PM)
When the nurse tells you to put on a gown you do 3 costume changes.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 9, 2009 07:27PM)
... whenever any organization you join puts you on the entertainment committee.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 10, 2009 05:11AM)
You fan powder all your decks every day...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 10, 2009 05:52AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-09 14:32, joseph wrote:
You search the north pole for Tabman...
[/quote]

... and could not find anyone wearing the Santa costume.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 10, 2009 07:15AM)
..but you found that cute polar bear who wanted you to pet and hug it...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 10, 2009 11:09AM)
... and you decided to bring it home as your latest show attraction.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 10, 2009 01:12PM)
You can entertain for 1 hour with a rubber band...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 10, 2009 09:48PM)
... you cannot stop performing once you have started.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 10, 2009 10:00PM)
... you feel like Santa in his magic workshop all day.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 10, 2009 10:04PM)
... you keep making another better version of the prop you just made.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 10, 2009 10:24PM)
... you love the magic you do.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 10, 2009 10:26PM)
... there's always magic in your life 24/7/365.
Message: Posted by: Steve Macko (Dec 11, 2009 12:50AM)
This thread is great! I am embarassed to admit that I have indeed paid $20.00 for a half dollar!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 11, 2009 08:18AM)
The iron is in the magic room!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 11, 2009 10:13AM)
... your bed room is also your other magic room.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 11, 2009 02:22PM)
Every room in your house has a magic poster hanging ...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 11, 2009 05:14PM)
You only can name two kinds of flowers: spring flowers and feather flowers.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 11, 2009 06:13PM)
When you get home, your doves greet you...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 11, 2009 06:17PM)
Your vet ask you for medical advice about doves. (It happened!)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 11, 2009 10:21PM)
... ladies asked you advices about hand creams.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 11, 2009 11:54PM)
... you have magic friends all over the world.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 12, 2009 06:06AM)
..and on other planets...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Dec 12, 2009 09:32AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-11 18:14, Bob Sanders wrote:
You only can name two kinds of flowers: spring flowers and feather flowers.
[/quote]

There's other kinds ?????
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 12, 2009 09:42AM)
You seek out broken guitar strings to use in props.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 12, 2009 11:12AM)
... everything in your house is fake.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 12, 2009 01:30PM)
When the ship keeps rocking and you're in the middle of multiplying bottles Or you're rolling coins Or doing Cups & Balls...and you ,sir, keep it all together like you're on dry land.

(not taking into consideration that one of the passengers runs out of the cabin holding his mouth... because that's his problem)..... Hay...ometimes it comes-up.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 12, 2009 02:02PM)
You book 10 cruises to see the magic shows...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 12, 2009 02:48PM)
... you can go without food and sleep for four days at a major magic convention.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 12, 2009 03:25PM)
..but you have to sleep for 2 days before driving home...
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 12, 2009 04:06PM)
You can substitute a magic DVD for a sleeping pill.

Posted: Dec 12, 2009 5:16pm
The Judge asks you to come into his quarters so he can see your latest magic trick.

Posted: Dec 12, 2009 5:19pm
Your children have no problem figuring out what to buy you for Christmas or Channukah.

Posted: Dec 12, 2009 5:32pm
You have more magic wallets than money.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 12, 2009 05:47PM)
... you need the time between conventions for sleep ...
Message: Posted by: 123TJS321 (Dec 12, 2009 06:09PM)
For us younger magicians


Your Principals or other school staff pulls you out of class to show them a card trick


(happens pretty often)
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 12, 2009 06:27PM)
People ask you for magical solutions to non magic problems.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 12, 2009 06:32PM)
You get mad when someone says trick instead of effect...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 12, 2009 06:53PM)
... even your black socks have white tips.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 12, 2009 06:58PM)
You have white fluffy rabbit slippers...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 12, 2009 07:11PM)
... and rabbit ears on your pajamas.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 12, 2009 07:15PM)
All your Xmas tree ornaments are magic related?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 12, 2009 07:58PM)
... when you see Tabman in his rabbit ears hoody.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 12, 2009 10:00PM)
... and his fuzzy, good luck rabbit feet slippers.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 12, 2009 11:22PM)
... and also his white fuzzy bunny tails pillow.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 12, 2009 11:32PM)
... and Im going sleepy time now!!!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 12, 2009 11:34PM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-13 00:32, tabman wrote:
... and Im going sleepy time now!!!
[/quote]

Hug your white fuzzy bunny tails pillow comfortably and sweet dreams, Tabman :bg:
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 13, 2009 05:56AM)
You play a magic dvd to keep awake...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 13, 2009 01:19PM)
... you can spell 'magic' backwards.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 13, 2009 02:10PM)
You always try to stick your pen through something...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 13, 2009 02:53PM)
When you can't sleep, you count rabbits not sheep
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 13, 2009 04:13PM)
... you learned Transcendental Meditation from Doug Henning.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 13, 2009 04:15PM)
... you put entertaining your audience above appealing to other magicians.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 13, 2009 04:23PM)
... you can draw an audience and entertain them.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 13, 2009 04:32PM)
... you can leave an audience feeling good about itself.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 13, 2009 04:37PM)
... and you leave feeling good about yourself.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 13, 2009 04:39PM)
... what you made magically appear was a better attitude for all.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 13, 2009 04:40PM)
... its all summed up by everybody wins and we're all winners here.
Message: Posted by: Maloney (Dec 13, 2009 05:17PM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-13 17:40, tabman wrote:
... its all summed up by everybody wins and we're all winners here.
[/quote]

Thank you!

When the audience comes to respect you as a person.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 13, 2009 05:49PM)
You memorize all the corny lines for each trick...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 13, 2009 06:13PM)
... every deck of cards has notes on the box flap.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 13, 2009 06:15PM)
You open your closet, and a 500 deck avalanche buries you...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 13, 2009 06:36PM)
You know exactly how long each part of your act takes.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 14, 2009 05:28AM)
You buy a new trick every week and revise your act...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 14, 2009 05:48AM)
... you can entertain a large audience with simple tricks.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 14, 2009 07:46AM)
..and those are the ones they remember...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 14, 2009 11:06AM)
... you get to perform paid shows frequently by only doing simple tricks.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 14, 2009 12:13PM)
... you can be in two places at one time.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 14, 2009 01:49PM)
The angel on top of your xmas tree is doing the cups & balls...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 14, 2009 11:59PM)
... you run out of room for friends on Facebook.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 15, 2009 12:08AM)
... you are touring the virtual world talking to magic friends.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 15, 2009 05:57AM)
..and enjoying it...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 15, 2009 08:55AM)
... and having great fun with dumb jokes :lol:
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 15, 2009 09:31AM)
... the photos on your cell phone are the selected cards.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 15, 2009 09:51AM)
... you have duplicated cards all over your body.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 15, 2009 10:34AM)
... you underwear has magicians' pictures on it.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 15, 2009 10:59AM)
... you can do three shows and still make it home for dinner.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 15, 2009 11:02AM)
... you don't have shows and never make it home for dinner.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 15, 2009 11:23AM)
... you have to carry cans and crackers for dinner ... (City folks will have no idea what that means!)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 15, 2009 11:25AM)
... you do not take note of time flying pass you.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 15, 2009 12:47PM)
... you think there is power in having more than one wand.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 15, 2009 05:58PM)
You use magic wands for chop sticks...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 15, 2009 09:34PM)
... you start collecting magic wands.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 16, 2009 05:34AM)
You go to shake hands, and 5 halves fall to the floor...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 16, 2009 06:18AM)
... your wife do not understand why you need pockets inside your sleeves.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 16, 2009 07:36AM)
..or under your jacket...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 16, 2009 08:50AM)
... you spend time painting safety pins and the backs of cards flat black.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 16, 2009 09:55AM)
You go to Sams Club to buy cases of flat black spray paint...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 16, 2009 11:49AM)
... you shop regularly for non essential items.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 16, 2009 08:40PM)
... you write cans of flat black paint off your income tax.
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 16, 2009 08:40PM)
You go to sleep with your TT on
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 16, 2009 09:13PM)
... you buy non essential items more than actual props.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 16, 2009 09:45PM)
... you have duct tape in several different colors.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 16, 2009 09:58PM)
... you buy all kinds of tapes by the dozens.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 16, 2009 10:05PM)
... the backs on your playing cards don't match.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 16, 2009 10:10PM)
... you keep looking for all kinds of different back cards.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 16, 2009 10:47PM)
... you can palm a bowling ball!!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 16, 2009 11:01PM)
You use an invisible ink sharpie so you can reuse the card...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 17, 2009 07:46AM)
... you search for sequentially numbered dollar bills.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 17, 2009 08:28AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-16 23:47, tabman wrote:
... you can palm a bowling ball!!
[/quote]

Wow! I would like to learn that :lol:
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 17, 2009 10:05AM)
Everyone listens and then says, "Is that true?"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 17, 2009 11:12AM)
... your audiences love to listen to your magic adventures.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 17, 2009 05:04PM)
... you can do the hundred dollar card on ceiling through the blades of a fan as good as Doc Eason.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 17, 2009 06:13PM)
All your magic dvds are blu ray..
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 18, 2009 12:34AM)
... when you decide you are, and not before!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 18, 2009 06:01AM)
You answer every question with a trick...
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 18, 2009 07:24AM)
All the bills in your wallet are gaffed
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 18, 2009 08:54AM)
... you know you are not the masked moron.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 18, 2009 02:58PM)
You drive through a blizzard to the magic shop...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 18, 2009 03:15PM)
The salespeople in the sewing section of the store know you by name and know that you can't sew.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 18, 2009 03:20PM)
You try to buy the fortune tellers tarot cards...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 18, 2009 03:31PM)
You pick up playing cards thrown on the floor or in the trash.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 18, 2009 04:56PM)
... you're aware of the daily sleights and misdirection all around you.
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 18, 2009 07:33PM)
When your wife asks you to take out the trash you disappear

Posted: Dec 18, 2009 9:11pm
A nightmare is a dream that doesn't contain anything about magic.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 18, 2009 09:25PM)
... you are attentive to any magician's jargon spoken by the lay public?
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 18, 2009 09:49PM)
The concept of free choice seems like a trick to you.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 18, 2009 09:57PM)
... you always have an out.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 18, 2009 09:58PM)
... you practice delivering the outs as much as the act as if it goes right.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Dec 18, 2009 11:10PM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-17 19:13, joseph wrote:
All your magic dvds are blu ray..
[/quote]

Or Del Ray !!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 19, 2009 06:27AM)
You practice the force on yourself...
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 19, 2009 07:16AM)
Instead of sleeping with a stuffed animal, you sleep with your sponge balls.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 19, 2009 09:11AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-19 08:16, Mr Mike wrote:
Instead of sleeping with a stuffed animal, you sleep with your sponge balls.
[/quote]

..all stuffed into your pillow, along with the sponge rabbits and babies...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 19, 2009 11:16AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-19 10:11, joseph wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-12-19 08:16, Mr Mike wrote:
Instead of sleeping with a stuffed animal, you sleep with your sponge balls.
[/quote]

..all stuffed into your pillow, along with the sponge rabbits and babies...
[/quote]

... and all your silks too.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 19, 2009 04:40PM)
Your close up mat looks like a rag...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 19, 2009 04:52PM)
... you don't need a close-up mat.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 19, 2009 05:46PM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-19 10:11, joseph wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-12-19 08:16, Mr Mike wrote:
Instead of sleeping with a stuffed animal, you sleep with your sponge balls.
[/quote]

..all stuffed into your pillow, along with the sponge rabbits and babies...
[/quote]

And when you wake up the pillow is twice its size.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 19, 2009 05:52PM)
You know whether to use blue or red bikes...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 19, 2009 06:14PM)
... You know that waiting for the audience to gather is a matter of timing.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 19, 2009 09:13PM)
... you can perform without a close up mat or table.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 19, 2009 09:22PM)
... Yoda told Luke "May the force be with you," you knew exactly what he meant.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 19, 2009 09:41PM)
... you enjoy reading magic catalogs.
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 19, 2009 09:47PM)
When you hand out your business cards to eveyone you meet.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 20, 2009 02:49AM)
... your business card says "I am a magician!"
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 20, 2009 04:35AM)
The first thing you do in the morning when you get out of bed is reach for your magic wand.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 20, 2009 04:49AM)
..and then empty your lota bowl...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 20, 2009 10:20AM)
... and wear the thumb tips on both thumbs.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 20, 2009 06:28PM)
Your trips to the country club is only to do shows...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 20, 2009 08:00PM)
You get a tip from a Doctor
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 20, 2009 08:45PM)
... your thumb tip is worn out from extremely usage.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 21, 2009 05:22AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-20 21:00, jay leslie wrote:
You get a tip from a Doctor
[/quote]

or a waitress...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 21, 2009 08:03AM)
... everyone and even the parrot call you magician.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 21, 2009 08:32AM)
... the only way they'll let you in most exclusive clubs is as entertainment.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 21, 2009 08:35AM)
... you know who Bob Sanders and Joseph are.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 21, 2009 09:46AM)
You are actually booked for the week...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 21, 2009 09:47AM)
... you know that being booked is good news.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 21, 2009 12:06PM)
... you no longer need a business card.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 21, 2009 01:19PM)
... you are great and interesting news for the media.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 21, 2009 02:21PM)
People know us by our name:
Tongini, Billini, Photini, Tabini, josephini etc. ...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 21, 2009 05:58PM)
You own a ladies' hair net.
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 21, 2009 06:20PM)
The only body part you exercise is your fingers
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 21, 2009 09:06PM)
The name of your white dog is Casper.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 21, 2009 09:18PM)
... you find a cure for poverty.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 21, 2009 09:20PM)
... you think poverty is normal.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 21, 2009 09:27PM)
... you take a vow of poverty.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 21, 2009 09:30PM)
... half the things in your refrigerator are not food.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 22, 2009 06:10AM)
There's no more room in your brain for another trick...
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 22, 2009 07:26AM)
Before going to sleep you always post something on the magic Café.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 22, 2009 07:57AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-21 15:21, joseph wrote:
People know us by our name:
Tongini, Billini, Photini, Tabini, josephini etc. ...
[/quote]

and Bobini.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 22, 2009 08:14AM)
... The Magic Café is a hot button on your computer...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 22, 2009 08:17AM)
... you made your first post at The Magic Café.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 22, 2009 08:38AM)
... your best friends are on The Magic Café.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 22, 2009 08:40AM)
... the Magic Café is your second home.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 22, 2009 08:43AM)
... your coffee is cold but your keyboard is hot.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 22, 2009 08:45AM)
... you fellowship with your buddies from The Magic Café everyday.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 22, 2009 09:22AM)
You make it through another year of fun...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 22, 2009 09:50AM)
... you agree with everyone here that it is a great year.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 22, 2009 11:03AM)
... your picture is on The Magic Café instead of a milk carton.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 22, 2009 11:23AM)
...your photo on The Magic Café is seen by magicians all round the world.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 22, 2009 11:46AM)
... People expect you to be dressed like your avatar all the time.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 22, 2009 11:56AM)
... magicians like to know more about you.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 22, 2009 12:44PM)
For xmas you get an lcd tv, a blu ray player, and xbox, but play with your new packet trick...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 22, 2009 01:52PM)
Most of your Christmas want list is not available except from magic dealers.
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 22, 2009 07:40PM)
When you bring joy to others with your magic.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 22, 2009 07:41PM)
... you can travel at lightspeed around the world and deliver toys to all the kids, both young and old.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 22, 2009 09:11PM)
You believe that a deer drawn slay makes great sense.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 22, 2009 09:17PM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-22 20:41, tabman wrote:
... you can travel at lightspeed around the world and deliver toys to all the kids, both young and old.
[/quote]

... and after those deliveries travel at lightspeed to have a great party with the Café buddies.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 22, 2009 09:18PM)
... your wife hands you the phone and says "another one of your nutty magician friends".
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 22, 2009 09:56PM)
... your party guests are magicians only.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 22, 2009 10:15PM)
...you save old newspapers that match.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 22, 2009 10:17PM)
... you collect duplicates of many items for your shows.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 22, 2009 10:33PM)
... people ask if you have found any work yet.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 22, 2009 10:37PM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-22 22:17, JamesTong wrote:
[quote]
... and after those deliveries travel at lightspeed to have a great party with the Café buddies.
[/quote]

James, you are a man after my own heart!!! Work hard. Play hard.

Ho ho ho!!!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 23, 2009 05:45AM)
You volunteer to be a Café moderator...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 23, 2009 09:46AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-22 23:37, tabman wrote:
[quote]
On 2009-12-22 22:17, JamesTong wrote:
[quote]
... and after those deliveries travel at lightspeed to have a great party with the Café buddies.
[/quote]

James, you are a man after my own heart!!! Work hard. Play hard.

Ho ho ho!!!
[/quote]

Tabman, working hard is important but when I play I really go all out and enjoy myself. That brings out the sweet memory in the future. :lol:
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 23, 2009 12:56PM)
You turn right - hear a clunk - and immediately know it's not your CV joint but your Sucker Sliding Man In The Moon... and all is well again.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 23, 2009 12:58PM)
Your neighbor has a kitty..You have a lion...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 23, 2009 12:58PM)
... you can differentiate the different sound created by different props falling on the floor.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 23, 2009 01:10PM)
You can never find the coin when it falls to the floor...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 23, 2009 01:11PM)
... you know it is normal to lose so many coins.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 23, 2009 04:21PM)
... you think one coin feels better than any of the others just like it.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Dec 23, 2009 07:37PM)
You palm a coin when shaking someone's hand and they never know it
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 23, 2009 07:44PM)
You can shake hands with a coin backpalmed...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 23, 2009 08:40PM)
All of your envelopes have slits in them.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 23, 2009 10:56PM)
... you have coins classic palmed 24/7/365.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 24, 2009 05:32AM)
You have 10 doves, and can tell them apart...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 24, 2009 08:57AM)
Dove seed is tracked throughout your house.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 24, 2009 09:27AM)
... you have trails of cards, thumb tips, silks, etc all around your house.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 24, 2009 10:55AM)
... you get mail addressed to "the magician" with only the city or town and no street address.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 24, 2009 10:57AM)
... in Georgia they ask you produce cracklin bread with only city fixin's
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 24, 2009 02:15PM)
You origami all your tips...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 24, 2009 02:41PM)
... you solve all the world's problems and still make it to your gig on time.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 24, 2009 04:27PM)
You prefer a deck of card to a bar of chocolate

Posted: Dec 24, 2009 5:28pm
You wish everyone a Merry Christmas and your wish comes true.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 24, 2009 06:12PM)
You will even buy used cards.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 24, 2009 08:42PM)
... and all kinds of used props too.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 25, 2009 06:22AM)
You have 10 dozen new decks, but always buy more at the shop...
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 25, 2009 07:01AM)
You wake up Christmas morning and get on the Magic Café
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 25, 2009 08:04AM)
[quote]
On 2009-12-25 08:01, Mike Brezler wrote:
You wake up Christmas morning and get on the Magic Café
[/quote]

... and start posting like there's no tommorrow.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 25, 2009 09:31AM)
... Santa brings you whiffle dust and you appreciate it.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 25, 2009 10:12AM)
... anything magic related would attract your attention.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Dec 25, 2009 07:54PM)
.[quote]
On 2009-12-24 11:57, Bob Sanders wrote:
... in Georgia they ask you produce cracklin bread with only city fixin's
[/quote]

Ok Bob,I want to know what that is..........
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 25, 2009 09:01PM)
David,

In PA that is a legitimate question. Cracklin bread is corn bread with pork skins cooked in it.

Tabman can tell you that McDonald's doesn't have it. Cracker Barrel just might!

Bob


You know you are a magician when your cell phone ring tone is a fanfare.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 25, 2009 09:06PM)
... your cell phone wall paper is magic related.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 25, 2009 09:10PM)
You can convincingly make it look like your cell phone rang when it did not.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 25, 2009 09:33PM)
... you can make replicas of everything in your house so you can used them for magic.
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 25, 2009 09:52PM)
When you can do a magic trick anytime at anyplace when asked
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Dec 26, 2009 01:41AM)
You can make a magic trick out of any household item.
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Dec 26, 2009 02:40AM)
When you levitate to get into the bathtub
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 26, 2009 08:17AM)
... you get invited by social clubs to talk about magic.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 26, 2009 01:53PM)
You save all the appliance boxes for your next big illusion...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 26, 2009 05:59PM)
You can't wait to find an empty pill bottle.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 26, 2009 07:09PM)
You have magic books that starts with x, y and z...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 26, 2009 08:12PM)
... you enjoy reading old magic books.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 26, 2009 10:43PM)
... you feel the magic!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 26, 2009 10:52PM)
You have more magic books than DVDs.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 27, 2009 05:26AM)
Your magic books automatically open to your favorite pages...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 27, 2009 09:51AM)
... you just know you have the magic that will make people feel good.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 27, 2009 11:58AM)
... when you realize that being magic is more who you are than what you have.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 27, 2009 06:39PM)
You know that if you are measured by what you have, magic is not for you.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 27, 2009 09:43PM)
... you don't need anything to do magic.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 28, 2009 06:08AM)
You have to check every bill as you spend them...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 28, 2009 10:17AM)
... you are afraid you might spend the gaff coins.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 28, 2009 12:45PM)
Your flea circus is a big as your HO train set...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 28, 2009 05:02PM)
... every time you hear a piece of music, you wonder what magic routine would work with that.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 28, 2009 08:27PM)
... every time you hear a good piece of music you feel like performing something.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 29, 2009 06:14AM)
You don't like ventriloquists, jugglers, mindreaders or mimes...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 29, 2009 06:29AM)
... you are not a clown, ventriloquist, juggler, acrobat, mime or a magician's assistant.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 29, 2009 09:58AM)
... you heard your parents say, "Boy, are you in a trick now!"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 29, 2009 11:08AM)
... you cannot resist performing an effect the moment an opportunity arises.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 29, 2009 12:55PM)
You have a trick knee...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 29, 2009 09:47PM)
... you keep buying thumb tips eventhough you have a big box full of it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 30, 2009 07:45AM)
You get more than 2 gigs a week...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 30, 2009 09:33AM)
... you just want to perform even if it is for free.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 30, 2009 12:42PM)
..You can tear and restore a card 50 different ways...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 30, 2009 12:58PM)
... you can think of many different ways to perform the same effect.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 30, 2009 01:45PM)
... you look at both sides of a card to be sure it is not a double backer.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 30, 2009 01:48PM)
... you prefer to force a card rather than a free selection.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 30, 2009 01:49PM)
... you can't remember the last time you allowed a free selection of a card.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 30, 2009 01:51PM)
... you don't take chances during your performances.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 30, 2009 01:52PM)
... the greatest surprise in your show is that everything worked!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 30, 2009 01:55PM)
... everything you say and do is scripted and planned.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 30, 2009 01:57PM)
... you are doing ad lib and still get lost.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 30, 2009 02:04PM)
... you can sometimes forget how to do the simplest trick.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 30, 2009 02:04PM)
... you forget how to end the trick.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 31, 2009 06:10AM)
..you forget how to start the trick...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Dec 31, 2009 09:00AM)
You forget the gimmick to the trick at home.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 31, 2009 09:43AM)
... you forget the patter for the trick.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 31, 2009 10:11AM)
... you can't remember the name of the trick.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Dec 31, 2009 10:24AM)
... you know that the word 'trick' or 'effect' means the same thing.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Dec 31, 2009 01:43PM)
You know what page and what book all your tricks are on...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Dec 31, 2009 07:21PM)
... you buy Woolite to wash your little silky things.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Dec 31, 2009 11:17PM)
... you can wish a HAPPY NEW YEAR to many magic friends at once.

HAPPY NEW YEAR gang!!

-=tabman
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 1, 2010 06:28AM)
You own 20 different biographies on Houdini...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 1, 2010 09:48AM)
New Year's Day is the one with all the bottles in the trash.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 1, 2010 10:01AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-01 00:17, tabman wrote:
... you can wish a HAPPY NEW YEAR to many magic friends at once.

HAPPY NEW YEAR gang!!

-=tabman
[/quote]

... you can wish back the HAPPY NEW YEAR wishes to your magic friends all over the world just by clicking the 'Submit' button.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone here too!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 1, 2010 11:20AM)
You use more bobbie pins than your wife does.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 1, 2010 02:54PM)
You have 10 boxes of unused safety pins...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 1, 2010 07:03PM)
... you need the fingers on both hands to count your blessings.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 1, 2010 07:29PM)
You have 12 McDonald Aces backup sets...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 1, 2010 10:44PM)
... you have more cotton rope than any store in the area.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 2, 2010 12:27AM)
... you know who keeps the biggest stashes of magic supplies in case you need to borrow something at the last minute.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 2, 2010 05:48AM)
Your garage sale has a magic for sale section...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 2, 2010 11:49AM)
... and when your final memorial service has a magicians only section.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 2, 2010 01:43PM)
... you go to gun shows to buy fuses and black gun powder.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 3, 2010 07:08AM)
Your xmas tree is a botania...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 3, 2010 10:16AM)
.. that you produce every day from a large Santa folard.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 3, 2010 12:11PM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-03 08:08, joseph wrote:
Your xmas tree is a botania...
[/quote]

Your flower vase is a Lota Jar
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 3, 2010 12:34PM)
... you can remember all the family names and important dates of all your clients at will.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 3, 2010 08:43PM)
... you buy glassware at yard sales to use as props.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 4, 2010 10:21AM)
... when you can have a yard sale and its all old magic props and books.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jan 4, 2010 01:30PM)
Your casket looks like a magic wand.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 4, 2010 04:22PM)
... and its made by one of the top magic craftsmen like Jay Leslie or Johnny Gaughan.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jan 4, 2010 07:55PM)
Or tabman
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 4, 2010 07:59PM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-04 20:55, jay leslie wrote:
Or tabman
[/quote]

Thanks Jay but I can't help you here. My shop isn't big enough ;)
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 4, 2010 08:01PM)
You say ta da after you do anything...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 4, 2010 09:02PM)
... you have a full-time band working for you and your own theme song.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jan 5, 2010 01:00PM)
OOPS, I have my own theme song buy I only have a 3 member jazz ensemble. Does that mean I'm out of the club?
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 5, 2010 04:52PM)
... no a band is more than one musician playing together at the same time.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 5, 2010 07:59PM)
..or one magician playing several instruments at the same time...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 5, 2010 08:02PM)
... you're part of Alakazam's One Man Band.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 6, 2010 09:29AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-05 21:02, tabman wrote:
... you're part of Alakazam's One Man Band.
[/quote]

And Norm Neilson is playing violin !
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 6, 2010 01:35PM)
You know why Johnny Thompson gave up the harmonica to do magic.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 6, 2010 07:33PM)
Your wifes sewing box has multi colored thimbles...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 6, 2010 08:49PM)
Rubber cement is in every room of the house.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 7, 2010 09:31AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-06 21:49, Bob Sanders wrote:
Rubber cement is in every room of the house.
[/quote]

Next to the strips of newspaper and talcom powder.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 7, 2010 11:58AM)
... you can do your act backwards and often do.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jan 7, 2010 12:00PM)
You've never been in a car accident even though your hands all full of cards and coins.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 7, 2010 02:12PM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-07 10:31, dlcmagic wrote:
[quote]
On 2010-01-06 21:49, Bob Sanders wrote:
Rubber cement is in every room of the house.
[/quote]

Next to the strips of newspaper and talcom powder.
[/quote]

... you always get two of the same newspaper.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 7, 2010 03:06PM)
You can make 50 different hats out of a sheet of newspaper...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 7, 2010 03:29PM)
And an Anchor
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jan 7, 2010 03:58PM)
For some strange reason wild pigeons expect you to feed them.

The Vet calls YOU for advice on how to trim feathers.

You're full size statue of yourself, in the back yard next to your botanical garden is never "christened" by birds.

Wild rabbits leave your garden alone because they know you'll share.

White Lions never attack..... well... almost never.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Jan 7, 2010 04:19PM)
You have convinced your wife that the newspaper is always delivered in strips which must be assembled by the reader.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 8, 2010 11:13AM)
... you convince your wife that the two strippers you brought home are researching for a new version of the stripper deck you plan to market.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 8, 2010 01:00PM)
When someone finds a loose white dove, they call you to claim it.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 9, 2010 09:47AM)
Tabman talks about strippers, Bob about a loose white dove. Is that the same thing ?? lol
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 9, 2010 10:13AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-09 10:47, dlcmagic wrote:
Tabman talks about strippers, Bob about a loose white dove. Is that the same thing ?? lol
[/quote]

Not sure but I do have a preoccupation with strippers. I stated my magic/music career in a strip club in Houston. You'll have to ask Bob about the doves!!! ;)
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 9, 2010 12:48PM)
You have a dove of every color...
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Jan 9, 2010 01:44PM)
You are constantly asked to make someone disappear.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 9, 2010 02:12PM)
You break your new years resolution to not buy any new magic...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 9, 2010 08:23PM)
... you can turn yourself invisible when you need to.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 10, 2010 05:43AM)
All your mouse pads have magic posters on them...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 10, 2010 04:06PM)
... the restaurant counts the salt shakers and spoons when you leave.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 10, 2010 05:24PM)
Your football uniform is made of silk...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 10, 2010 08:33PM)
... you have one of the last magic shows running in Las Vegas.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 11, 2010 12:32PM)
... cops come to you to get into locks when the key is missing.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 11, 2010 09:24PM)
... you can change channels on your tv without getting out of your recliner.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jan 11, 2010 09:34PM)
You have a roll of red sparkle glitter contact paper- as you never know when you might have to cover something with it...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 12, 2010 01:32AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-11 22:34, MagicBus wrote:
You have a roll of red sparkle glitter contact paper- as you never know when you might have to cover something with it...
[/quote]

Not to mention a roll of duct tape !
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 12, 2010 02:34PM)
You can remember over 10 tricks with a regular deck...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 12, 2010 08:39PM)
You still have tricks from a My Favorite Martian Magic Set from the 60's !!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 13, 2010 02:48PM)
You can show a poker routine with old maid cards...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 13, 2010 04:46PM)
... and you're an old maid.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 13, 2010 06:50PM)
... when people see you and ask, "Is there a show here today?"
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 14, 2010 02:10AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-13 19:50, Bob Sanders wrote:
... when people see you and ask, "Is there a show here today?"
[/quote]

And you say yes !!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 14, 2010 08:10AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-14 03:10, dlcmagic wrote:
[quote]
On 2010-01-13 19:50, Bob Sanders wrote:
... when people see you and ask, "Is there a show here today?"
[/quote]

And you say yes !!
[/quote]

And then take out a deck of cards ...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 14, 2010 07:26PM)
You can do card tricks and tend bar at the same time...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 14, 2010 09:15PM)
... you have your own airplane with "The Magician" painted on the tail.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 15, 2010 08:52AM)
.... and call it "The Flying Magic Castle".
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 15, 2010 03:40PM)
One of the Sprint stock cars has your picture on its hood...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 15, 2010 05:46PM)
... you can't use Sim Sala Bim as your meditation mantra.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 16, 2010 05:29AM)
All your light bulbs are shaped like hearts and spades...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 16, 2010 11:38AM)
... you collect signed photos from the Café buddies.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 16, 2010 05:30PM)
... the magicians at the Magic Café say you are.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 16, 2010 05:32PM)
You won't take you xmas tree down, because it is decorated with d'lites...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 16, 2010 06:14PM)
... you are already checking the stores for red heart shaped (Valentine) balloons and Christmas was only a few weeks ago.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 16, 2010 08:06PM)
Bob, I know you're a magician because you're always on the lookout for magic ideas to fit all the holidays.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 16, 2010 08:40PM)
You Know You're A Magician When ... April Fools' Day is a special holiday.

(The last time Lucy and I visited Tab and Gloria was April 16th at Flatwood Studios. That was Lucy's birthday too. It would seem that the day AFTER income tax day would make a better April Fools' Day.)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 17, 2010 01:12AM)
... you just cannot stop thinking of new routines for your acts.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 17, 2010 06:29AM)
You add another 10 card tricks to your repertoire of 1000...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 17, 2010 10:02AM)
... you know so many things but could not remember all of them.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 17, 2010 11:16AM)
... you can force a card on your pet pig.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 17, 2010 05:27PM)
..and he picks the swine of hearts...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 17, 2010 08:05PM)
... with a sly oink he ...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 17, 2010 08:24PM)
You Know You're A Magician When ... you know the difference between a pig and a poet. A poet uses a pen and ink. A pig uses a pen and oink!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 18, 2010 05:55AM)
When you are a bigger ham than your pig...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 18, 2010 07:53AM)
... the oink from the pig helps you get more applause.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 18, 2010 08:45AM)
You have a Vietnamese potbellied pig and your name is Denny !!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 18, 2010 10:29AM)
... it takes you 10 minutes at the cleaners to unpin all your gimmicks before you can leave your coat to be cleaned.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 18, 2010 08:09PM)
... when your coat is so cleverly gimmicked that even your cleaner can't see anything.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 19, 2010 09:16AM)
... your cleaner knows how to clean your coat with those gimmicks on.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 19, 2010 12:56PM)
Your cleaner is also a magician!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 19, 2010 02:45PM)
...the cleaners automatically call you when they find something strange and ask if you are missing it.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 19, 2010 04:06PM)
... you can play blackjack in Las Vegas and not get taken to the cleaners.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 19, 2010 09:31PM)
... They won't let you play Blackjack in Vegas.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 20, 2010 11:17AM)
... the four wall a show room to you in Vegas.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jan 20, 2010 01:07PM)
You try all the rope on, for size, when at the hardware store.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 20, 2010 02:47PM)
You save every container you can to hold things you don't have.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 20, 2010 06:01PM)
... you've cheated the grim reaper with your death defying stunts and escapes.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 20, 2010 08:08PM)
You have a magic castle master card...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 20, 2010 11:26PM)
... with unlimited charge capacity.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 21, 2010 10:17AM)
... death defying stunts and escapes are just another day at the office.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 21, 2010 10:20AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-20 15:47, Bob Sanders wrote:
You save every container you can to hold things you don't have.
[/quote]

... I am having trouble storing those containers now :lol: and don't know when I will be using them too :bg:
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 21, 2010 10:21AM)
... you need big containers to store the little containers we are saving.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 21, 2010 10:24AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-21 11:21, Bob Sanders wrote:
... you need big containers to store the little containers we are saving.
[/quote]

... am I going to store the big containers with even bigger containers? :lol: I am having trouble storing big containers too :lol:
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 21, 2010 11:42AM)
......you rent a storage space to contain the containers !
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 21, 2010 03:09PM)
You jingle when you walk...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 21, 2010 04:58PM)
... you never buy rope for its strength.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jan 21, 2010 06:26PM)
All your peas are plastic or rubber.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 21, 2010 09:14PM)
... you can name all the magicians on the Café.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 22, 2010 11:17AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-21 22:14, tabman wrote:
... you can name all the magicians on the Café.
[/quote]

... and which country they are from.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 22, 2010 11:00PM)
... and you use your time zone clock to keep track of them.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 23, 2010 05:38AM)
You memorize all the "that's funny" threads...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 23, 2010 09:20AM)
...You start this thread 40 pages ago !! (I had no idea it would keep going) I love it !!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 23, 2010 11:36AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-23 10:20, dlcmagic wrote:
...You start this thread 40 pages ago !! (I had no idea it would keep going) I love it !!
[/quote]

... you keep this thread alive with a few buddies while enjoying it all the way.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 23, 2010 11:37AM)
... you've worked Pittsburgh!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 24, 2010 06:33AM)
You have an outhouse shaped like a zig zag illusion...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jan 24, 2010 08:40AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-23 12:37, tabman wrote:
... you've worked Pittsburgh!
[/quote

I remember that show at the Funny Bone. Great !!
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 24, 2010 10:45AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-24 09:40, dlcmagic wrote:
...I remember that show at the Funny Bone. Great !!
[/quote]

Thanks. Pittsburgh is a great magic town. I had a blast there with Kozak and meeting many magicians in town, magic club meetings at the "Nest", staying up on Mt. Wash, and getting to know Kozak's dad.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 24, 2010 11:24AM)
... your friends' sense of humor is a basic requirement.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 25, 2010 12:59PM)
... you have a weird sense of humor but your magic buddies enjoy it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 25, 2010 03:16PM)
On Monday morning you discuss magic at work instead of the NFL playoffs...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 25, 2010 11:11PM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-25 16:16, joseph wrote:
On Monday morning you discuss magic at work instead of the NFL playoffs...
[/quote]

... and end up showing a new variation of your latest routine.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 26, 2010 08:36AM)
... you learn that there is nothing safe about a safety pin.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 26, 2010 11:30AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-26 09:36, Bob Sanders wrote:
... you learn that there is nothing safe about a safety pin.
[/quote]

... but they help you build an entertaining routine.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 26, 2010 08:17PM)
... you turn down more gigs than you accept.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 27, 2010 09:37AM)
... you can laugh at yourself when you make silly mistakes on stage.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 27, 2010 10:30AM)
... David Copperfield sends you fan mail!!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 27, 2010 10:51AM)
... You have a Little BIG Men sweat shirt from Tabman and Flatwood Studios.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 27, 2010 10:59AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-27 11:51, Bob Sanders wrote:
... You have a Little BIG Men sweat shirt from Tabman and Flatwood Studios.
[/quote]

WOW!!! You really are a magician. And I have one on right now. It's chilly in Dixie.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 27, 2010 12:57PM)
... your wife refuses to to share her sewing stuff with you.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 27, 2010 11:59PM)
... because she knows you won't give it back.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 28, 2010 08:08AM)
The first question you ask about scissors is "Will they cut rope?"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 28, 2010 09:37AM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-28 00:59, tabman wrote:
... because she knows you won't give it back.
[/quote]

... especially the pair of scissors :lol:
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 28, 2010 05:09PM)
... you have an answer for everything!! ;)
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 29, 2010 10:44AM)
... your dog avoids rabbits.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jan 29, 2010 12:21PM)
... your friends are wondering why you have all kinds of animals and birds in your house.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 29, 2010 12:28PM)
... your friends are not surprised at any animal they find at your house.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jan 29, 2010 02:41PM)
That you own at least six tuxes including: a crushed velvet blue one, a nero jacket one, a set of tails, a red one, a yellow one (and you don't work for Century 21), and the Hugh Heffner robe style version... (or a "sparkle" one if you are actually a successful performer). Yikes!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jan 30, 2010 05:17AM)
Your tee shirts have silk screened tux vests on them...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 30, 2010 10:03AM)
Your tee shirts have silk screened tux vests on them that have real pockets.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 30, 2010 11:07AM)
... when you know the magician's secret handshake.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 30, 2010 03:36PM)
... when you learn better than to shake a magician's hand.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jan 30, 2010 06:59PM)
....you know the diff'rence between magicians wax and toilet bowl wax.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jan 30, 2010 07:34PM)
[quote]
On 2010-01-30 19:59, tabman wrote:
....you know the diff'rence between magicians wax and toilet bowl wax.
[/quote]

That's proof that I know NOTHING!
Message: Posted by: tabman (Feb 2, 2010 09:20PM)
... you have a bronze bust of Robert-Houdin in your study.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 3, 2010 08:56AM)
... you have so many incomplete decks of cards that you do not know where to store them.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 3, 2010 07:21PM)
... one shelf in the refrigerator has things you don't want to eat!
Message: Posted by: tabman (Feb 5, 2010 03:48PM)
... and your back room has animals that will eat you!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 5, 2010 04:30PM)
... you are spending more money feeding those animals that can eat you.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 6, 2010 05:45AM)
Your guests tell you the fruit tastes like wax...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 6, 2010 10:59AM)
... your friends are wondering why you have so many sponge ding dongs in your cabinet.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 6, 2010 02:21PM)
Each room in your house has a trap door...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 6, 2010 08:20PM)
... you wife wants ALL plastic bags out in the trash.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 7, 2010 09:06AM)
You hypnotize you dove, and tell it he is a monkey...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Feb 7, 2010 09:52AM)
[quote]
On 2010-02-07 10:06, joseph wrote:
You hypnotize you dove, and tell it he is a monkey...
[/quote]

And then you change him into one!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 7, 2010 11:27AM)
... you have secret hidden doors to another room from your magic room.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 7, 2010 12:32PM)
You have a separate hard drive just for magic downloads...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Feb 7, 2010 12:43PM)
You, yes you, realize that Jay has not been posting for a while but you've racked-up another 200 jokes each.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 7, 2010 04:35PM)
[quote]
On 2010-02-07 13:32, joseph wrote:
You have a separate hard drive just for magic downloads...
[/quote]

... you need to update the 320 gig hard drive to something large enough to hold just the little stuff.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Feb 7, 2010 08:06PM)
... you know the difference between a 320 gig hard drive and a 320 gig road trip.
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Feb 7, 2010 08:56PM)
...and you prefer the road trip.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Feb 8, 2010 01:34PM)
So, I should throw away my 2 terabyte HD in favor of a tour bus?

1,048,576 megabytes = 1 terabyte
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Feb 8, 2010 04:12PM)
That you know who said to Pete Biro: "You need to write some books." (Hint: Think of a type of feline combined with short tree with very small fruit.)
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 8, 2010 04:16PM)
You have bobble heads of all you magic pals...
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Feb 10, 2010 10:44AM)
You travel in 3 feet of snow to do a show because the show must go on!
Message: Posted by: tabman (Feb 10, 2010 11:39AM)
... you get publicity by doing Snowstorm in China in a Pittsburgh snow drift.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 10, 2010 08:50PM)
You do a zig zag snowman illusion outside...
Message: Posted by: Bill Ligon (Feb 11, 2010 12:52AM)
...and you live in Florida.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Feb 11, 2010 09:42AM)
... when you have a rabbit named Harey Whodini.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 11, 2010 07:16PM)
And a dove named snowflake...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 13, 2010 09:18AM)
... you have a vanishing rabbit named Tax Refund.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 13, 2010 01:57PM)
You have 5 doves..One for each paid show last year...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Feb 13, 2010 03:02PM)
... you're on DynaMike's backstage guest list.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 13, 2010 07:55PM)
... at church nobody knows your real name; you are just that "magician".
Message: Posted by: Mike Brezler (Feb 13, 2010 08:46PM)
You pay for magic tricks before paying your other bills
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 13, 2010 10:02PM)
You save cards from incomplete decks with no specific purpose in mind.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 14, 2010 06:33AM)
You have 3 shopping bags full of folded cards...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 14, 2010 04:03PM)
You buy lots of toys at the dollar store.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 14, 2010 06:53PM)
You have more toys than your grandkids...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 14, 2010 07:01PM)
... you wash more silky little things than your wife does.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 15, 2010 11:54AM)
... you spend more time on your toys than any children would.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Feb 15, 2010 05:37PM)
...that you know the name of the magician who produced a dove from a silk in the rumours movie featuring Jennifer Aniston and Kevin Costner (and saw him perform at Abbott's last summer...)
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Feb 15, 2010 05:41PM)
You're on the Abbott's web site performing a trick that now sells for $2,500 (and you only paid a fraction of that price for it 20 years ago)...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Feb 15, 2010 08:22PM)
.... you know all the old Gene Autry movies where Smiley Burnette does magic.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 17, 2010 09:01PM)
... you have magic wands so old they are warped.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 18, 2010 12:05PM)
... you still keep those broken magic wands.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Feb 18, 2010 01:52PM)
You'll spend $200 to purchase a sight gag for one laugh that will take up a whole 5 seconds in your act...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 18, 2010 05:37PM)
... you could spend the year repainting props.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 19, 2010 08:21AM)
... and after that spend time admiring your work.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 19, 2010 09:38AM)
You just can't handle a shoe lace without a ring or pair scissors.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 20, 2010 07:13AM)
You use your d'lites to find you way in the dark...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 20, 2010 02:11PM)
[quote]
On 2010-02-20 08:13, joseph wrote:
You use your d'lites to find you way in the dark...
[/quote]

... and rehearsing the routine along thr way.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 20, 2010 02:14PM)
Your school essays are all on magic...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Feb 20, 2010 03:30PM)
... and you tricked the school librarian into subscribing to [i]Genii Magazine[/i].
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 20, 2010 05:52PM)
All your subscriptions are magic magazines...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 21, 2010 10:27AM)
... and online email magic newsletters.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 21, 2010 10:38AM)
Your salt shaker is never empty...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 21, 2010 01:09PM)
... you have thumb tips loaded with bills.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Feb 22, 2010 08:43AM)
[quote]
On 2010-02-21 14:09, JamesTong wrote:
... you have thumb tips loaded with bills.
[/quote]


Gas bill, cable bill, electric bill.........
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 22, 2010 09:10AM)
[quote]
On 2010-02-22 09:43, dlcmagic wrote:
[quote]
On 2010-02-21 14:09, JamesTong wrote:
... you have thumb tips loaded with bills.
[/quote]


Gas bill, cable bill, electric bill.........
[/quote]

... without a single real bill$ in anyone of them :lol:
Message: Posted by: tabman (Feb 22, 2010 10:33AM)
... you can drink free at every bar in town.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 23, 2010 06:04PM)
Your dog house looks like a pagoda...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 25, 2010 09:31PM)
... people are wondering why you have big animal cages in your house.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Feb 25, 2010 11:51PM)
... any mail remotely resembling magic ends up in your mail box whether its addressed to you or not.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 26, 2010 09:21AM)
... you can't eat out in your hometown without someone coming to your table and expecting to see magic.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Feb 26, 2010 11:09PM)
... when they name a street after you in your hometown Magic Blvd.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 27, 2010 02:05PM)
Your mailbox looks like a square circle...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Feb 27, 2010 05:41PM)
You can find any card at any place in any deck but you can't find your car in the parking lot.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Feb 28, 2010 06:55AM)
Your dog sleeps on your closeup mat...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Feb 28, 2010 11:16AM)
[quote]
On 2010-02-28 07:55, joseph wrote:
Your dog sleeps on your closeup mat...
[/quote]

... and play with the badly damaged fake fruits.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 1, 2010 09:01PM)
Your costumes get the best coat hangers.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 2, 2010 08:42AM)
...you have more costumes than your own clothings.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 2, 2010 02:46PM)
You correctly predict what you will eat for the next week...
Message: Posted by: Doruk Ülgen (Mar 2, 2010 03:42PM)
...you hear a song and start mentally rehearsing for a new routine..
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Mar 2, 2010 04:52PM)
[quote]
On 2010-02-27 15:05, joseph wrote:
Your mailbox looks like a square circle...
[/quote]

Even your real mailbox produces a rabbit http://houseofenchantment.com/pages/letter%20to%20santa.html
Message: Posted by: tabman (Mar 2, 2010 05:24PM)
[quote]
On 2010-03-02 17:52, jay leslie wrote:
[quote]
On 2010-02-27 15:05, joseph wrote:
Your mailbox looks like a square circle...
[/quote]

Even your real mailbox produces a rabbit http://houseofenchantment.com/pages/letter%20to%20santa.html
[/quote]

Great idea and cool prop. Looks good Jay. I bet you could customize it too with different names and addresses on it???? Be a cool prop for my new tv show.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 3, 2010 05:30AM)
I agree, tabman...That's a trick that can really deliver...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 3, 2010 07:28AM)
Over the years I have had a real mail box by the lake. It contains fishing tackle! No tackle box to haul back and forth. It's weather proof!

Bob Sanders
Magic By Sander
Message: Posted by: tabman (Mar 3, 2010 11:02AM)
... you can make magic or a tackle box out of a regulation mail box.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 3, 2010 11:20AM)
... and now, the regular ones will be empty on weekends too!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 3, 2010 03:05PM)
The ups guy looks at you funny while handing you packages with bunnies stamped on them...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 3, 2010 08:55PM)
... US Customs ask you explain why you are transporting defective items both into and out of the country. (Props)
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 4, 2010 10:00AM)
... you try to develop an act using fake guns, hand grenades, bazookas, etc.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 4, 2010 11:02AM)
... the last place you would use office supplies is in an office.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 4, 2010 12:03PM)
... office supplies and hardware accessories are potential magic to you.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Mar 4, 2010 09:38PM)
... you fail at everything but magic.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 4, 2010 10:49PM)
... you seriously worry about people who don't do magic.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 5, 2010 07:34AM)
... you cannot understand why some people do not like to watch magic.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Mar 5, 2010 08:59PM)
[quote]
On 2010-03-03 06:30, joseph wrote:
I agree, tabman...That's a trick that can really deliver...
[/quote]

Had to take a short intermission after that last joke but I'm back with you like Leno, weather I said I was going to quit or not.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 6, 2010 06:10AM)
:) ..Don't quit...Just keep your chin up...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 6, 2010 11:49AM)
We will tune in to watch your late night posting everyday. :lol:
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 8, 2010 06:49AM)
You stay up for Jay's monologue .. (not Leno....Leslie)...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 8, 2010 11:18AM)
[quote]
On 2010-03-08 07:49, joseph wrote:
You stay up for Jay's monologue .. (not Leno....Leslie)...
[/quote]

... you enjoy Jay's monologue.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Mar 8, 2010 11:58AM)
You're a magician when you can perform the Kuma Tubes in 4 distinct phases that fool people,
Message: Posted by: tabman (Mar 8, 2010 02:51PM)
... and you can perform it in 14th century Chinese.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 8, 2010 02:54PM)
You sprinkle woofle dust on your waffles...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Mar 8, 2010 02:56PM)
... and you call them "woofles."
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Mar 8, 2010 07:38PM)
You've made it, fo real, when you don't have time to post here because your show schedule is too busy.
Message: Posted by: Spyder (Mar 8, 2010 09:35PM)
Every book you own involves magic.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 8, 2010 10:24PM)
... every time you put a cloth napkin in your lap you look on the table for objects to vanish.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 9, 2010 10:12AM)
...your lap is filled with items you have vanished for the audiences eating with you.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Mar 9, 2010 12:37PM)
After a party you go home and unload your pockets then eat like a king,
Message: Posted by: tabman (Mar 9, 2010 09:55PM)
... you know who to believe and who not to.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 9, 2010 10:12PM)
... your key ring keeps sticking to your wedding band.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 10, 2010 11:43AM)
... you use jargons that are strange to lay people.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 12, 2010 02:43PM)
After a show, your pocket is full of bent coins and rings...and torn up cards...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 12, 2010 06:01PM)
... you find torn cards most useful.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Mar 12, 2010 06:18PM)
... you know how to tear a deck of cards in half.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 13, 2010 06:17AM)
..and you are the only one who saves both halves...
Message: Posted by: tabman (Mar 13, 2010 12:00PM)
... and invent three new routines with the deck halves.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 13, 2010 01:19PM)
... you know what those torn halves have gone thru.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 14, 2010 06:38AM)
You ask that they put decks of cards in the vending machines...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 14, 2010 10:58AM)
... you save the torn or cut pieces of everything you find in your pocket.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 14, 2010 03:57PM)
... you use Tabman's book to identify yourself as a magician for references.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Mar 14, 2010 04:42PM)
... you get a nod in my next magic book, [i]The Characters of the Magic Café.[/i]
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 15, 2010 08:47AM)
... you can't tie your shoes but you know a hundred other knots.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 15, 2010 12:41PM)
... you cannot sleep unless you do something magic related first.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 17, 2010 09:05PM)
..like counting rabbits instead of sheep...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Mar 17, 2010 09:35PM)
You can tell how much money is in someone's pocket by the way it jingles.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 18, 2010 01:34PM)
... you can recognise another magician by the things he carry with him.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 20, 2010 06:30AM)
You love bic pens...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 20, 2010 11:57AM)
... you keep buying sharpie pens.
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Mar 20, 2010 12:59PM)
The loaded thumb tips in your pocket out number the change...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 20, 2010 03:28PM)
You stare at your post it pad for new ideas ...
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Mar 20, 2010 04:33PM)
Every time you go through Wallmart, you see items on the shelves an think :Hmmmmm. I wonder how that could be turned into an effect.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 21, 2010 06:06AM)
If it's light, you try to levitate it...
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Mar 21, 2010 08:42AM)
Your junk magic drawer is outnumbering your underwear/socks drawer.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Mar 21, 2010 09:39AM)
... You buy items to get the container instead of the contents.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 21, 2010 10:50AM)
You watch Ed Sullivan reruns, just to catch the magic acts...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Mar 21, 2010 11:52AM)
You look back at all those old publicity photos and say "What was I thinking?"
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 21, 2010 12:19PM)
... you like looking at other magicians' old publicity photos.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 21, 2010 03:16PM)
You walk through Abbotts just to look at those old publicity photos...
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Mar 21, 2010 09:22PM)
You COLLECT those old publicity photos..
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 22, 2010 01:17PM)
... you send out 1000s emails asking for old publicity photos.
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Mar 23, 2010 01:18PM)
You let your rabbits have the run of the house...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 24, 2010 01:42PM)
... the food bills for the animals is much more than yours.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Mar 24, 2010 03:07PM)
You have 1200 old publicity (or more) photos but so many shelves that you have no wall space to hang them.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 25, 2010 11:35AM)
... the only space you have in your house that is not taken up by magic related item is your bed.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Mar 25, 2010 11:46AM)
... even your girlfriend does tricks.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 25, 2010 02:48PM)
Whoa.. You buy magic castle stock...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 26, 2010 03:09PM)
... you try to attend as many magic convention whenever opportunity permits you to.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 27, 2010 06:12AM)
You still have some Tannen's Top Hat Topic ads...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 27, 2010 02:19PM)
... you have a hundred magic catalogs collected throughout the years.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Mar 28, 2010 06:11AM)
You take a year to learn a card flourish, and can't find a place in your show for it...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Mar 28, 2010 11:37AM)
[quote]
On 2010-03-25 12:46, tabman wrote:
... even your girlfriend does tricks.
[/quote]

And your rabbit too, and the tiger (good luck).
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Mar 28, 2010 12:32PM)
... everything related to magic will get your attention.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Apr 1, 2010 11:42PM)
April Fools' Day is a holiday!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 2, 2010 12:13PM)
... you get all kinds of call for shows during April Fool's day.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Apr 4, 2010 11:05AM)
You force a family Easter magic show before you feed them...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 4, 2010 12:04PM)
... you are willing to spend time working and perfecting your routines, even if it take 10 years.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Apr 10, 2010 06:49AM)
You kiss your gimmicked coins every night and put them to bed...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Apr 12, 2010 08:05AM)
People seek you out to show you a magic trick.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Apr 13, 2010 08:01PM)
No one can explain how you do an effect...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 14, 2010 12:52PM)
... you are always carelessly losing your thumbtips.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Apr 17, 2010 05:39AM)
You drop your thumbtip, and 3 women faint...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 19, 2010 08:00AM)
... you cannot leave your house without any loaded thumbtips in your pockets.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Apr 21, 2010 06:37PM)
...when you take off your clown costume.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 22, 2010 01:35PM)
[quote]
On 2010-04-21 19:37, Dynamike wrote:
...when you take off your clown costume.
[/quote]

... and reveal another clown costume of a different color.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Apr 24, 2010 05:48AM)
Your fingers can do funny things...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 24, 2010 07:43AM)
... fake thumbs and fingers mean something to you.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Apr 24, 2010 09:14AM)
Palm sunday is your favorite holiday...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Apr 25, 2010 11:17AM)
... you like palming all kinds of objects and it feels good doing it.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 1, 2010 05:44AM)
You can fold anything in under half a second...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 1, 2010 12:09PM)
... you try vanishing bigger things with your topit.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 1, 2010 12:13PM)
You carry your assistant in a Topit on Plam Sunday
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 1, 2010 12:14PM)
[quote]
On 2010-05-01 13:13, jay leslie wrote:
You carry your assistant in a Topit on Plam Sunday
[/quote]

WoW! That is one huge Topit :lol:
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 1, 2010 02:48PM)
You knit a really big chop cup ball and climb inside so you can produce yourself.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 1, 2010 04:26PM)
You own a forklift just for levitation effects...
Message: Posted by: DATMagic (May 2, 2010 12:09AM)
You've worn a hole in your shoe both above and below your big toe from turning your radio anywhere off and on.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 2, 2010 04:46AM)
You have an I.B.M. master card...
Message: Posted by: DATMagic (May 2, 2010 10:59AM)
All your kid's friends call you by your stage name.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 2, 2010 11:51AM)
... you feels good whenever someone calls you "The Magician!"
Message: Posted by: DATMagic (May 2, 2010 04:25PM)
You do an impromptu extreme burn when putting money in the collection plate during church services.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 2, 2010 09:35PM)
You have the complete Bill Bixby "Magician" series on dvd...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 3, 2010 01:46PM)
... you are always looking for old magic related movies.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 3, 2010 08:22PM)
You tip the waitress with origami bills...
Message: Posted by: DATMagic (May 3, 2010 10:37PM)
You wear your Halloween costume every weekend
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 4, 2010 09:31AM)
... you always make an appearance with a cape and top hat wherever you go.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 4, 2010 10:08AM)
... you're told to make your own parking place appear.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 4, 2010 02:53PM)
... restaurant customers usually ask you to vanish their mother-in-laws.
Message: Posted by: DATMagic (May 4, 2010 09:36PM)
Your business partner REALLY wants you to turn into a bar
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 5, 2010 10:22AM)
... your wife complains about your sleep talking or practicing your patter in your dreams.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 6, 2010 06:26AM)
You don't read the newspaper but save the rubber band.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 6, 2010 12:14PM)
... you purchase your daily newspapers in duplicates.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 6, 2010 08:13PM)
You and three other guys can fill 50 pages with why you know you're a magician.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 8, 2010 05:48AM)
When you and those 3 guys can stretch this to 100 pages...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 8, 2010 11:51AM)
... you and those 3 guys will push it to 250 pages.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 8, 2010 12:36PM)
You perform the exploding head trick, from all the upcoming pages.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 8, 2010 02:07PM)
... you try re-inventing all existing routines just to see if you can do them differently.
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 8, 2010 02:30PM)
... you always get the money!!!
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 8, 2010 02:54PM)
You're average tip is at least 20 percent of the fee.
Message: Posted by: Pakar Ilusi (May 8, 2010 03:05PM)
You have as many posts as we do on The Magic Café...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 9, 2010 05:11AM)
... you team up with the buddies at The Magic Café to stretch the humor threads to more than 200 pages.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 9, 2010 07:11AM)
You even have magic posters in your crawl space...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 9, 2010 11:16AM)
... your wife found an old thumb tip you misplaced somewhere 10 years ago.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 14, 2010 09:02PM)
... you buy rubber cement and talc powder on the same shopping trip.
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 15, 2010 12:29AM)
.... you can introduce yourself as a magician with confidence.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 15, 2010 05:37AM)
You use fanning powder in your kid's diapers...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 15, 2010 01:47PM)
... you use up your kid's diapers to replace slush powder.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 15, 2010 03:35PM)
You vanish your dinner candles after you eat...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 15, 2010 05:30PM)
You recognize the opportunities with cloth napkins.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 15, 2010 06:25PM)
..or towels...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 15, 2010 09:43PM)
... you have a habit of bending those forks and spoons after dinner.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 16, 2010 06:50AM)
You are the hit of the doctor's waiting room...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 16, 2010 01:57PM)
... you are known as 'The Amazing Magician' wherever you go.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 17, 2010 01:03PM)
People call you to pick locks when they lock their keys inside.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 19, 2010 02:13PM)
... people think of you when they lose their wallets.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 19, 2010 04:52PM)
Psychics think of you when, they loose their, wallet.
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 19, 2010 06:12PM)
... you hide when someone looses their wallet.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 20, 2010 07:43AM)
... people count the money over and over to themselves.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 20, 2010 12:29PM)
... you have many different ways to play with real and fake money just to amuse yourself.
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 20, 2010 01:35PM)
... you can stick a needle through the tongue and it doesn't hurt.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 21, 2010 11:27AM)
You have more wands than pairs of shoes.
Message: Posted by: tabman (May 21, 2010 11:38AM)
... you go around barefooted because you've used all your shoelaces for magic tricks.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 21, 2010 03:19PM)
Your socks are in dove harnesses.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 22, 2010 04:56AM)
Your laundry man is afraid to touch your tux jacket...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 22, 2010 06:51AM)
... even your Blue Cross card is marked...
Message: Posted by: phlip79 (May 22, 2010 11:37AM)
When you think "pH balance" refers to something found in Art of Astonishment.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 22, 2010 12:42PM)
All your old faucets have head straps around them...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 22, 2010 07:11PM)
You need a seperate room to go tell your jokes.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 22, 2010 07:35PM)
You find some use for the washing machine packing box...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 25, 2010 08:55AM)
... you know that the "Force" had better be with you!
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 25, 2010 01:53PM)
[quote]
On 2010-05-22 20:11, jay leslie wrote:
You need a seperate room to go tell your jokes.
[/quote]

and also another room to privately digest the jokes you have just heard.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (May 25, 2010 07:31PM)
[quote]
On 2010-05-21 16:19, Bob Sanders wrote:
Your socks are in dove harnesses.
[/quote]

Your socks ARE dove harnesses. ball dropers, michrophone roadcases, balloon bags, Shoe protectors, a wrap for michrophone cords, Chop Cup bags, and everything else that can fit including the legs of your old doll house, your new doll house... and the doll that comes out.

In a pinch a sock can double as a bow tie (Don't ask), a belt, a load holder, a blindfold (again... don't ask), a feather flower holder (when you brought the wrong jacket) and a (drum roll please) storage transport bag for all that money you just generated selling coloring books... Wait... I need two socks, thank you.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 26, 2010 01:11AM)
[quote]
On 2010-05-25 20:31, jay leslie wrote:
[quote]
On 2010-05-21 16:19, Bob Sanders wrote:
Your socks are in dove harnesses.
[/quote]

Your socks ARE dove harnesses. ball dropers, michrophone roadcases, balloon bags, Shoe protectors, a wrap for michrophone cords, Chop Cup bags, and everything else that can fit including the legs of your old doll house, your new doll house... and the doll that comes out.

In a pinch a sock can double as a bow tie (Don't ask), a belt, a load holder, a blindfold (again... don't ask), a feather flower holder (when you brought the wrong jacket) and a (drum roll please) storage transport bag for all that money you just generated selling coloring books... Wait... I need two socks, thank you.
[/quote]

... after reading the above post you begin to have an interest in socks :lol:
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 26, 2010 12:16PM)
... you have used a sock for a deck dropper.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (May 26, 2010 12:47PM)
... you have a large collection of socks.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 26, 2010 08:33PM)
You can do a coin roll with your toes...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (May 27, 2010 07:54AM)
... you have a whole drawer of different types of tape products and adhesives.
Message: Posted by: joseph (May 27, 2010 08:11PM)
You can get a piggy break with your little toe...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 5, 2010 11:43AM)
... most of the plastic freezer bags in the house contain magic props or prop parts.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 5, 2010 12:34PM)
You drive with the knees so you can practice shuffling.

Note: I have never ever done that. That could be dangerious It's just what I've seen others do.... but I do drive with my knees so I can play with my balls.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 5, 2010 01:48PM)
[quote]
On 2010-06-05 13:34, jay leslie wrote:
You drive with the knees so you can practice shuffling.

Note: I have never ever done that. That could be dangerious It's just what I've seen others do.... but I do drive with my knees so I can play with my balls.
[/quote]

This sounds interesting! :lol:
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 6, 2010 06:00AM)
You own everything Jay and Bob release...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 6, 2010 01:39PM)
[quote]
On 2010-06-06 07:00, joseph wrote:
You own everything Jay and Bob release...
[/quote]

... and pre-order those that are not released yet.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 7, 2010 11:46AM)
... when you tie a knot you want to be sure it won't hold.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 7, 2010 11:50AM)
You have a joke thread, magician's thread, invisible thread, thread on a pull, looped thread, catgut thread, etc.. Man does not live by thread alone.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 7, 2010 07:53PM)
You drive a Magic Bus
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 9, 2010 02:04PM)
[quote]
On 2010-06-07 20:53, jay leslie wrote:
You drive a Magic Bus
[/quote]

... you understand what the above post mean.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 9, 2010 06:06PM)
You're a magician when....

You go see someone's show and steal their original patter and effect, word for word, without permission
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - BUT
Someone else takes the time to write great instructions and you don't bother to read them.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 9, 2010 08:13PM)
You have an excel spreadsheet of all your tricks and shows...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 10, 2010 02:01PM)
[quote]
On 2010-06-09 19:06, jay leslie wrote:
You're a magician when....

You go see someone's show and steal their original patter and effect, word for word, without permission
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - BUT
Someone else takes the time to write great instructions and you don't bother to read them.
[/quote]

That's a good one, Jay :lol:
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 11, 2010 06:17AM)
You think you know how every trick is done, and you post it to tell everyone how smart you are..By the way, where do I get those sky hooks for levitations?...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 11, 2010 01:38PM)
[quote]
On 2010-06-11 07:17, joseph wrote:
You think you know how every trick is done, and you post it to tell everyone how smart you are..By the way, where do I get those sky hooks for levitations?...
[/quote]

...what sky hooks? I thought they use those huge cranes to do the levitations?
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 11, 2010 06:44PM)
http://www.campingskyhooks.com/
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 12, 2010 05:28AM)
I meant the close up version...
Message: Posted by: TheGreatRaymondo (Jun 14, 2010 02:48PM)
You practice palming a card for hours on end whilst on a long haul flight...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 14, 2010 06:48PM)
There is a note on your close-up pad: This Side Up.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Jun 14, 2010 08:01PM)
... Magic Café' readers are free to use any of the comedy lines I have suggested, but commercial manufacturing rights are retained by my corporation- "The Original Historically Correct First Ever Strat-O-Spheres/Crystal Silk Cylinder In Your Nose Tube Company"... That you believe we need more magic tricks involving bodily fluids... That you have worked BP into your "oil and water" routine... That he wanted to add the "right material" into his act- and settled on velvet... Does having a "commercial" trick involve an announcer?... or that Bob Fitch "endowed" his props this weekend with an honorary masters degree?... That he chose tickets to see Norman Beck over Glenn Beck... You think Al Goshman is related to Sponge Bob?... That you started crying when you suddenly realized that Bob Little's "Super Sunday" was yesterday and you missed it...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 15, 2010 07:55PM)
...or you were smiling because you didn't miss Bob Little's "Super Sunday" ...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 19, 2010 06:53PM)
When people start a conversation with, "Now this is serious."
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 19, 2010 08:57PM)
You are a magician when you do something for another magician and they say "I didn't see that, do it again".
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 20, 2010 06:29AM)
..or they say, "How you do dat?"...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 20, 2010 11:48AM)
[quote]
On 2010-06-20 07:29, joseph wrote:
..or they say, "How you do dat?"...
[/quote]

... and you reply, "I did dat vely well!"
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 20, 2010 04:08PM)
Or you reply "Ask Bob, he knows everything".
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 20, 2010 06:32PM)
You try not to admit that you even know Bob.
Message: Posted by: Doruk Ülgen (Jun 20, 2010 07:46PM)
Your girlfriend gets sad because she thinks that you want to work rather than spending time with her.

Posted: Jun 20, 2010 8:46pm
You complain about your situation with your girlfriend on magic Café.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 21, 2010 02:53PM)
[quote]
On 2010-06-20 20:46, Doruk Ülgen wrote:
Your girlfriend gets sad because she thinks that you want to work rather than spending time with her.
[/quote]

... get her to be your assistant and you will be working and spending time with her at the same time.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 22, 2010 01:16AM)
You know you're not just a magician but a miracle worker when she goes along with it!
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 24, 2010 09:02AM)
... you know who Blackstone was and your audience doesn't.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 25, 2010 02:05PM)
People come up to you and show you the 21 card trick and you pretend it's the first time you've ever seen it.... this follows right after you pulled 6 doves, backhanded 4 decks and produced a hundred coins that went Ting A Ting a Ting, down your ladder.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 26, 2010 07:00AM)
All your phones are magic jacks ...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jun 26, 2010 08:50AM)
A saint, is named after you.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jun 27, 2010 06:49AM)
You get dental work to look like Doug Henning...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 28, 2010 12:58PM)
... frequently lose your sense of time whenever you get involved in magic.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jun 30, 2010 07:39AM)
... even if you throw the cards away, you save the card box.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jun 30, 2010 03:27PM)
... you keep saving all kinds of things because you know you will find use for them one fine day.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 3, 2010 04:56PM)
... you can't travel without dove and rabbit food.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 4, 2010 01:15PM)
... people ask you whether you are an animal trainer because they see you with all kinds of animals whenever you go for your shows.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 5, 2010 09:29AM)
You deal 5 hands of poker, and 3 people get one of your credit cards...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 5, 2010 05:57PM)
The people at the feed store know how many rabbits you have now.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 6, 2010 02:22PM)
... you buy more food for the animals than for yourself.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 7, 2010 12:58PM)
People call you because they see a white dove out loose ans ask if you are missing one.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 8, 2010 09:28AM)
You buy carrots only for your rabbits and Disecto...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 8, 2010 01:12PM)
... you spend more time looking after those birds, animals and reptiles than your props.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 10, 2010 08:12PM)
...you throw your clown outfit away.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 11, 2010 07:29AM)
You can palm a basketball...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 11, 2010 08:35AM)
[quote]
On 2010-07-11 08:29, joseph wrote:
You can palm a basketball...
[/quote]

... split it into two, do a color change and float it away.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 11, 2010 11:35AM)
...you can dunk a basketball.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 12, 2010 07:05AM)
You fold a silk instead of a hanky for your suitcoat pocket...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Jul 12, 2010 10:41AM)
...you must climb over several feet of magic wands to get to the other side of the room.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 13, 2010 06:03PM)
You're name is Dynamike and you can disappear for three months then return without loosing a beat.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 15, 2010 07:00AM)
You build a wet bar just so you can do bar magic...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 17, 2010 02:20PM)
... almost everyone in your town, including those dogs, cats, birds, etc., knows you are the magic man.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 17, 2010 05:28PM)
You write "Magician" as your occupation, for all legal documents.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 18, 2010 02:40AM)
... being a magician means everything to you.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 18, 2010 07:09AM)
... there are thumb tips in every room of the house.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 18, 2010 01:50PM)
... you buying playing cards by the bricks.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 19, 2010 05:40AM)
You teach your baby to back clip its pacifier...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 20, 2010 08:24AM)
You know that the trick instructions are much more valuable than the props that come with the trick.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 21, 2010 06:01AM)
You ruin your new trick because you played with it before you read the warning...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 21, 2010 01:20PM)
... you are too eager to play with the prop without reading the instruction first.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 24, 2010 05:51AM)
You cut up a silk and a tear rolls down your cheek...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 24, 2010 02:26PM)
... you own more than one set of cups and balls.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 25, 2010 05:55AM)
You have more than 1 tux...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 25, 2010 01:44PM)
... you know what magic classics means.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 25, 2010 04:31PM)
When you realize your wife isn't the only one who can make money vanish.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Jul 25, 2010 10:19PM)
You want linking rings with extra keys.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 26, 2010 01:30PM)
... you get excited whenever a good trick get launched in the market.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 26, 2010 09:25PM)
When pizza for dinner every night starts to sound good.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 27, 2010 12:11PM)
... you can get free food every day in a restaurant when you are performing there for a month.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Jul 27, 2010 05:18PM)
When you have all the answers and start lecturing before you're 20.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 27, 2010 05:46PM)
You know every variation of the double lift and false cut...
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 28, 2010 11:09AM)
... you have a motivation to turn professional.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 28, 2010 11:39AM)
You invent 300 new tricks then discover that someone else stole all of them from you and published them at least 50 years before you were born.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 28, 2010 11:42AM)
[quote]
On 2010-07-28 12:39, Father Photius wrote:
You invent 300 new tricks then discover that someone else stole all of them from you and published them at least 50 years before you were born.
[/quote]

... and you were wondering how much income you have lost.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 28, 2010 11:49AM)
When you post 600 exposures on YouTube.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 28, 2010 01:33PM)
[quote]
On 2010-07-28 12:49, Father Photius wrote:
When you post 600 exposures on YouTube.
[/quote]

... and hoping to land a job at the TV station.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 28, 2010 10:48PM)
You finally make 3 dollars in tips after working a restaurant all night.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Jul 28, 2010 11:00PM)
... you had your first dollar made as a magician framed but you had to spend it.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Jul 29, 2010 06:13AM)
[quote]
On 2010-07-29 00:00, tabman wrote:
... you had your first dollar made as a magician framed but you had to spend it.
[/quote]

But no one will accept it because it's a mis-made bill.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 29, 2010 02:36PM)
... you are willing to perform for free meals.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Jul 29, 2010 11:00PM)
When you know that double lift does not refer to a bra accessory.
Message: Posted by: JamesTong (Jul 30, 2010 12:39PM)
... anything or everything will fascinate you because you think you might be able to use them for your show some day.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 31, 2010 06:40AM)
You can do 50 things with a dollar bill...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 1, 2010 04:33PM)
You wonder if your tricks will ever be as good as the ones used by politicians.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 3, 2010 07:21PM)
You Know You're A Magician When you stamped all your dollar bills with "Made In Hong Kong" You give out color vision boxes as tips You have sponge balls in your aspirin bottles
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 3, 2010 07:48PM)
You still bring your Mark Wilson lunch box to work...
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 3, 2010 07:53PM)
You name your first born "Phil" after the card trick...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 9, 2010 02:35PM)
You can't imagine anyone not owning double-sided tape and rubber cement.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Aug 9, 2010 03:19PM)
You've enjoyed being at the American Legion Hall in Colon summer after summer- and you are not even a member of the American Legion, or a veteran for that matter...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 9, 2010 11:39PM)
You go to Colon, Michigan and sit at a table with a bunch of bald guys at a place called Curly's.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 14, 2010 06:19AM)
You reserve the same seats at all 40 conventions every year...
Message: Posted by: BrianRichardsM&C (Aug 14, 2010 03:08PM)
You wear lots of black and more fake bling bling than Elton John (although his bling bling is probably not fake)!
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 14, 2010 07:30PM)
When you have a duplicate show, at the ready.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 15, 2010 08:51AM)
You don't read the paper..You just rip them up and restore them...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 15, 2010 02:51PM)
You have 20 extention cords, an extra sound system, 6 costume changes and you perform at birthday parties.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 16, 2010 10:32AM)
The trunk of your car is loading with things "you might need" at a magic show.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 16, 2010 06:57PM)
When you know enough 4 ace tricks to put the average person to sleep.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Aug 18, 2010 08:39AM)
[quote]
On 2010-08-16 19:57, jay leslie wrote:
When you know enough 4 ace tricks to put the average person to sleep.
[/quote]

When you can do all your 4 ace tricks in your sleep.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 18, 2010 11:54PM)
When you receive a call from a thief asking you how to use a topit.
Message: Posted by: BrianRichardsM&C (Aug 20, 2010 08:07PM)
When you have so much stuff in your car or truck that you no longer can take any passengers.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 20, 2010 09:19PM)
When no bank will approve you for a loan.
Message: Posted by: BrianRichardsM&C (Aug 20, 2010 09:52PM)
When you throw coins into a vending machine that are worth way more than their "apparent worth."
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 21, 2010 05:58AM)
The first place you check at the amusement park is the magic show...
Message: Posted by: BrianRichardsM&C (Aug 21, 2010 06:14PM)
When you have nightmares of an appearing cane shooting out of your prop box and hitting you in the head!
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 22, 2010 05:59AM)
You watch the Olympics just to look at the linking rings logo...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 23, 2010 06:33AM)
You have to use a Sharpie pen to write checks.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 24, 2010 12:01AM)
When you sleep on a mattress of Invisible Thread.
Message: Posted by: nyphoebe (Aug 24, 2010 10:14AM)
When you know what to type in this thread.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Aug 25, 2010 03:13PM)
When the audience throws tomatoes at you the end of your show.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Aug 25, 2010 09:08PM)
When they trhow tomatoes and you catch them in your dove pan
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Aug 27, 2010 08:39AM)
[quote]
On 2010-08-25 22:08, jay leslie wrote:
When they trhow tomatoes and you catch them in your dove pan
[/quote]

And they change into a dove. Red of course. Or green ???
Message: Posted by: joseph (Aug 28, 2010 05:57AM)
..or maybe tomato paste?...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Aug 29, 2010 05:37PM)
You frequently buy nylon fishing line but never get to go fishing.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 1, 2010 01:17AM)
When Bob Sanders will let you take a picture with him.
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Sep 1, 2010 10:18AM)
Your idea of an entertaining DVD collection consists mainly of Jay Sankey and Daniel Garcia...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 2, 2010 12:30PM)
When you asked the audience for Invisible Thread because you ran out.
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Sep 2, 2010 02:48PM)
You have an entire drawer in your room dedicated to nothing but rope.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 2, 2010 11:46PM)
...you turn down a 40 hour $3,000 a week job.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 3, 2010 04:14AM)
You still eat out of a Rebo the clown cereal bowl...
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Sep 3, 2010 08:20AM)
Your sweetest dreams at night involve how to levitate...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Sep 3, 2010 10:12AM)
You can't imagine anyone using rope without shears.
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (Sep 3, 2010 10:16AM)
Every time you see a rope you immediately tie it into a knot and fray the ends. When asked if you are going to do a rope trick, you respond: "Frayed Knot".
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Sep 3, 2010 10:27AM)
When you wake up in the morning the first thing you do is reach for the deck of cards on your night stand...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Sep 3, 2010 10:26PM)
You figured out how to "count sheep" using a second deal.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 3, 2010 10:38PM)
When the police refuse to put you in handcuffs.
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Sep 3, 2010 11:00PM)
When when you walk in the seven eleven and you hear the lady behind the counter say "Here comes that magic guy."
Message: Posted by: jazzy snazzy (Sep 3, 2010 11:04PM)
When the police use [i]extra[/i] handcuffs.
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Sep 3, 2010 11:25PM)
Your wife need to wash your pants, but first thing is you have to empty out all the sponge balls, gimmicked coins, gaffed bills...
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 4, 2010 08:27AM)
Your scuba tanks are shaped like torture cells...
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Sep 4, 2010 09:14AM)
When you move from one town to another, you need an extra U-haul just for your illusions.
Message: Posted by: goatears (Sep 4, 2010 07:30PM)
When you have to pay for dinner you perform ones to twentys
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Sep 5, 2010 08:11AM)
You don't think it is unusual to have a deck of cards, sponge balls, a silk hank, and four real silver half dollars in your jeans pockets.
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Sep 5, 2010 08:36AM)
You wife has to make her way from the bedroom to to the kitchen by clearing your illusions out of her path..
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 5, 2010 02:56PM)
You can hang silks from your handlebar moustashe...
Message: Posted by: daffydoug (Sep 5, 2010 06:01PM)
The new effects in your mailbox outnumber the bills.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Sep 7, 2010 06:15AM)
You intentionally dull a new pair of scissors.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 7, 2010 06:23AM)
You think customs will let you pass with 10 knives, 2 guns, and 15 swords in your trunk...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Sep 7, 2010 09:33AM)
Your luggage contains extra hands for the show.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 7, 2010 09:43AM)
Your underwear keeps disappearing from the laundry...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Sep 7, 2010 11:37AM)
You hear dogs barking and wonder if your rabbit and doves are safe.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 8, 2010 07:47PM)
You make your mother-in-law disappear.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Sep 9, 2010 08:42PM)
Because she was outbidded by her husband who wanted the same thing.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 11, 2010 06:21AM)
You silently weep when that item didn't show up in the mail yet...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 13, 2010 01:50PM)
They kick you out of the clown, mentalist, juggler, stilt walker and ventriloquist club.


Dynamike
[i][b][url=http://www.detroitmagician.com//]Detroit Magician[/url][/b][/i]
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Sep 13, 2010 06:20PM)
You see people doing their NEW trick and you can tell them the origins of, when it was invented, 50 years ago.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Sep 14, 2010 06:37AM)
You know that magicians' wax is found in the plumbing department.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 14, 2010 10:36AM)
Your pinup calendar has 12 female magicians...
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 14, 2010 07:59PM)
You sleep with bunnies in your bed. (Not playboy bunnies)


Dynamike
[i][b][url=http://www.detroitmagician.com//]Detroit Magician[/url][/b][/i]
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Sep 15, 2010 01:26PM)
You know how to make a 5in1 wand do 6 tricks.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Sep 15, 2010 07:46PM)
You go to magic meetings to see who is new in the area and to see what type of magic they do.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 16, 2010 12:07AM)
Your mother gives you a magic wand to use as a pacifier.

Dynamike
[i][b][url=http://www.detroitmagician.com//]Detroit Magician[/url][/b][/i]
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 18, 2010 06:27AM)
Your salt shaker is always empty, and there are mysterious piles of salt on the kitchen floor...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Sep 18, 2010 02:02PM)
You don't tote a badge but there is a handcuff key on your keyring.
Message: Posted by: Kuma (Sep 19, 2010 02:36AM)
You're in bed with your wife and she says "Do that again" and you tell her you don't repeat tricks.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 19, 2010 06:33AM)
Your doorbell squirts water in the visitors face...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Sep 19, 2010 03:36PM)
The best blade of your pocket knife wouldn't cut hot butter.
Message: Posted by: mstgracy (Sep 19, 2010 08:29PM)
You say any effect you can't explain on TV is a camera trick (sadly it probably is)
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 19, 2010 09:27PM)
People always ask you to change their one into 100...
Message: Posted by: Kuma (Sep 20, 2010 06:12AM)
You can't walk past a mirror without checking for sightlines.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Sep 20, 2010 07:52AM)
You never get a chance to watch sports on weekends.

Dynamike
[i][b][url=http://www.detroitmagician.com//]Detroit Magician[/url][/b][/i]
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Sep 20, 2010 12:25PM)
You want to make your mark on the Café.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Sep 25, 2010 05:34AM)
You can use power tools with coins palmed in each hand...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Sep 30, 2010 07:06PM)
You carry keys for manipulation that don't fit any locks.
Message: Posted by: The Mighty Fool (Oct 2, 2010 02:34AM)
When you walk into your tailor's shop, he says "Oh jeez....what does that weirdo want me to sew into his clothing THIS time?!?"
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Oct 4, 2010 12:19PM)
When our friends drop by to borrow a cup of whiffle dust.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 4, 2010 04:57PM)
When you go to the magicians meeting and the Seargant Of Arms automatically sits next to you.
Message: Posted by: tabman (Oct 4, 2010 05:08PM)
... at Waffle House they automatically call your Waffles, "Woffles."
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Oct 8, 2010 12:35PM)
When you enter the Café the waiters come get the salt shaker at your table.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 9, 2010 06:59AM)
You get the waiters attention with flash paper...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 10, 2010 09:10PM)
You won't date any women unless they fit in the box.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Oct 13, 2010 07:20AM)
You seek out currency with sequential serial numbers.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Oct 14, 2010 11:16PM)
You can literally " float my boat"
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Oct 15, 2010 11:58PM)
There always is a bead of wax on your thumb nail.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 16, 2010 05:39AM)
You leave origami bill tips...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Oct 20, 2010 09:32PM)
You can no longer tie a granny knot without a lot of effort.
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Oct 21, 2010 03:03AM)
Dynamike takes a picture with you.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 21, 2010 10:00PM)
You have 3 shoeboxes full of magician business cards...
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Oct 21, 2010 11:42PM)
You erase the last serial number on all your currency.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 23, 2010 06:41AM)
Your wallet has 250 slots...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Oct 23, 2010 11:16AM)
You have a constant need to buy new batteries.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Oct 24, 2010 05:59AM)
You have to spin your pen 3 times before you write with it...
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Oct 25, 2010 07:01AM)
Cooing doves interrupt TV news.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 10, 2010 10:27AM)
You use equivoque on your wife so she would let you buy more magic...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 10, 2010 02:10PM)
You never spend change, you keep it for your act.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 10, 2010 02:47PM)
You sit on Santas lap, and give him your long magic wish list...
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 11, 2010 12:10AM)
All your steak knives were made by Joe Porper.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 11, 2010 03:34PM)
You have over 10,000 Café posts yet you will not be asked to be on Leno.
Message: Posted by: Magician Toronto (Nov 11, 2010 04:39PM)
When you are looking for an explanation as to why a "thumb" just fell out of your pocket. So embarrassing..


http://www.magiciantoronto.com
Message: Posted by: Cabrera (Nov 11, 2010 06:43PM)
Cooing doves interrupt TV news.

You steal someone elses one liner :)
Message: Posted by: Dynamike (Nov 11, 2010 10:46PM)
The casino ask you if they can borrow your cards.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 11, 2010 10:50PM)
You throw away 4 aces when playing poker because you think it is a set up for some else's trick.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 12, 2010 12:29AM)
All your Iphone apps are magic tricks
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 12, 2010 05:44AM)
You can't remember where you stole your best lines.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 12, 2010 03:14PM)
You're willing to pay nine dollars plus shipping for a 20 centavo coin.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 12, 2010 04:40PM)
You get excited by innovations in Kevlar thread.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 12, 2010 05:38PM)
You don't own a jacket that doesn't have a card clip inside.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 12, 2010 06:43PM)
You pack a deck of cards in your suitcase whenever you travel.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 13, 2010 06:19AM)
You have to tear & resore your napkin before you wipe your mouth...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 13, 2010 02:10PM)
20 minutes to put on a suit, 3 to put -17 to load ......... and you're just going shopping at the mini mart.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 13, 2010 08:06PM)
Having doves in your jacket doesn't seem abnormal.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 14, 2010 05:57AM)
You have a spare hanky for everyone...
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 14, 2010 11:06AM)
You're key ring has at least one key that bends, one that links and 6 more that either fit or don't fit a single lock.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 14, 2010 02:22PM)
Your hanky unprovoked will jump from your pocket to any close by bottle.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 14, 2010 08:14PM)
[quote]
On 2010-11-14 15:22, hbwolkov wrote:
Your hanky unprovoked will jump from your pocket to any close by bottle.
[/quote]
(I had a great uncle that had that problem, come to think of it so did his son.)

When everything in your living room is signed by Mark Wilson and Nani Darnell.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 14, 2010 08:29PM)
Every hank you have has a knot in the corner.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 14, 2010 10:26PM)
You own more silk scarves than your wife and 6 daughters.
Message: Posted by: joseph (Nov 15, 2010 07:17AM)
Your wife asks you what that chiffon silk is for...
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 15, 2010 09:30AM)
When someone says "zig zag" and you think of an illusion and not papers.
Message: Posted by: hbwolkov (Nov 15, 2010 05:27PM)
No ring or watch is safe if your within 10 feet.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 15, 2010 06:57PM)
You can't sit at a Café table without doing the salt pour or doing retention vanishes with the sugar packets.
Message: Posted by: jay leslie (Nov 16, 2010 08:16AM)
You make-up rock jokes.
Message: Posted by: Father Photius (Nov 16, 2010 09:41AM)
When you find yourself taking credit for things that happen that others think are magical, but you weren't doing a trick.
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Nov 16, 2010 03:43PM)