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Topic: Story time!
Message: Posted by: Bluesman (Dec 31, 2011 11:14AM)
Let see how long this story will go till we get to the end of it. This is how it will work. I'm going to start the story with one or two lines and the next person will add a line or two to it. And so on and so on. Please only post lines for the story only. So let the story begin!

It was a cold and raining night as I was driving down an old abandon dirt road with my two cousins and a dog name Blues.
Message: Posted by: LobowolfXXX (Dec 31, 2011 11:16AM)
He used to have a sister named Rhythm, but she got herself run over on the turnpike behind Ike's Gas & Grub.
Message: Posted by: Magicusa (Dec 31, 2011 11:28AM)
He can still hear his sister, Rhythm laughing in his head at his corny jokes as he touch the tattoo of her on his arm.
Message: Posted by: motown (Dec 31, 2011 11:42AM)
Suddenly there was a loud thump that shook my truck. "Oh my god! " I thought, what could I have hit.
Message: Posted by: Magicusa (Dec 31, 2011 11:46AM)
Has I look into my rear-view mirror.
Message: Posted by: acesover (Dec 31, 2011 12:16PM)
I see...it can't be, it looks like Rhythm, limping to the side of the road.
Message: Posted by: Steve_Mollett (Dec 31, 2011 12:19PM)
Even more startling, the decaying canine had a HUMAN ARM clamped in her desiccated jaws!
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Dec 31, 2011 12:31PM)
The arm belonged to Steve Mollet- gasp! Guess Rhythm needed a hand.
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Dec 31, 2011 01:19PM)
On 2011-12-31 12:28, Magicusa wrote:
He can still hear his sister, Rhythm laughing in his head at his corny jokes as he touch the tattoo of her on his arm.

A tattooed dog, that's right. Not too many of those around, but Blues was an especially stoic hound. :bg:
Message: Posted by: Cliffg37 (Dec 31, 2011 01:41PM)
What I really wondered about was who the arm may have belonged to and if they were still around to have any say in the matter at all.
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Dec 31, 2011 02:20PM)
I pulled over. The dog ran away, but dropped the arm in the ditch. I approached it apprehensively. My eyes widened and I studied it closely.

"Time to get some headlights on this old rattletrap, I suppose, eh, Blues?"

"*** straight," Blues thought to himself, "That's a leg of ham from the Butchershop across the street, and this is the SECOND time you run Rythm over! Good thing she's stoic like me, fool!" :evil:
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Dec 31, 2011 02:23PM)
Blues grabbed the arm from Rhythm and gnawed ferociously on the flesh reducing it to nothing but bone. My cousins Eskiel and Gomer smirked and one reached down to pat Blues.
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Dec 31, 2011 02:45PM)
Rythm had run away, and Blues knew just where to. Down the line Tex Ritter was holding a party at his ranch and Rythm's favorite song was on the bill:

[url=http://youtu.be/Roug4qG7qCY]Get Rythm[/url]
Message: Posted by: acesover (Jan 2, 2012 08:48AM)
When Gomer reached down Rhythm showed his apreciation and bit off Gomer's arm and now had another arm on which to chew. Blue became jealous of Rhythm as dogs sometimes do so he decided to bite off Eskiel's arm. Well Gomer and Eskiel were not to bright to begin with and with having lost an arm each they became bandits and that is how the name "One armed Bandit" came into existance along with "Rhythm and Blues". This is a true story. You can check it on the internet. Of course they al lived happily after.
Message: Posted by: Bluesman (Jan 2, 2012 09:36AM)
The end
Message: Posted by: motown (Jan 2, 2012 09:55AM)
But it wasn't the end...

I suddenly woke up drenched in sweat. Had it all been a dream or a terrible nightmare.
Message: Posted by: Mr. Mystoffelees (Jan 2, 2012 10:06AM)
Relief flooded over my trembling body. No longer would I have to live in a weird world, where dogs had arms and tattoo artists could do their work through a thick coat of hair. Then, as I thought it was all thankfully behind me, I saw that something was skewered on my bed post, covered by a pungent, bloody blanket...
Message: Posted by: Tom Jorgenson (Jan 2, 2012 11:01AM)
It was the mailman.
Message: Posted by: landmark (Jan 2, 2012 11:45AM)
In her bloody hand was an envelope. I rushed to open it. There inside was half of an index card, folded into quarters. I could not read what was inside that folded card, despite my attempts to hold it to the light. So I unfolded it and saw the following written in a scrawly manner, with what appeared to be a thin pencil: You will choose the four of clubs and the lady in the blue dress will name the number 37.
Message: Posted by: jugglestruck (Jan 2, 2012 11:55AM)
"Why the **** is Derren Brown writing to ME and how did he know about the blue dress?" I thought. I turned the index card over and saw the words I had been dreading.
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Jan 2, 2012 01:28PM)
"Even now, I know what you're thinking..."
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jan 2, 2012 01:57PM)
My attention was distracted temporarily when my two hounds came bounding into the room. Their muzzles covered with what looked like dried congealed blood.
Message: Posted by: jugglestruck (Jan 2, 2012 04:12PM)
But on closer inspection it turned out to be scarlet lipstick that they had found in my cosmetic case. I bent down to wipe it off and gasped as I noticed what appeared to be plum coloured eyeshadow daubed around their eyes.
I ran into the bathroom knowing what I would find.
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jan 3, 2012 12:53AM)
The garish face resembling the Joker in the Dark Night appeared to be waiting for me. The image was horrifing but I tried to remain composed and I said,"You! What are you doing here?"
Cards in one hand and in the other a pencil. "Psss wanna see a pencil trick?", the fiend asked. I screamed.
Message: Posted by: landmark (Jan 3, 2012 03:42AM)
"Oh, c'mon," the Joker-like figure said, "Don't you understand? The dead body was the [i]kicker[/i]."
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jan 3, 2012 05:30PM)
In our disfunctional family of Thieves, Bikers, Magicians and those who live on the fringe of the law everyone feared Cousin Eskiel aka the Jokster in the family. His jokes weren't funny but this psychopath took ultimate pleasure in his pranks. The lunatic often brought corpse to our residences so we'd have to dispose of them.
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Jan 3, 2012 09:42PM)
I put the book down, and stopped reading.
Message: Posted by: landmark (Jan 3, 2012 10:17PM)
Because a severed head fell into my lap.
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Jan 3, 2012 10:22PM)
"How many times have I said I'll catch the bees and let them go outside? Nobody has to die. Give me that damm flyswatter!"
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jan 3, 2012 10:37PM)
I was having trouble grasping reality perhaps due to the medication the doctor had prescribed for my insomnia? Was I really holding a flyswatter or a Sumarai sword that I just swung through the air? Was that really a bee I had been trying to save or a now hapless headless woman with a beehive hairdo?
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Jan 3, 2012 10:51PM)
I decided to flip on the Tube. Maybe relaxing with a nature documentary would clear my head. Caribou, lovely... and Dick Proenneke... what an interesting man...

Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jan 3, 2012 11:40PM)
My relaxation did not last long as I once again heard the buzzing of bees or was it flies? My gaze fell to the floor... staring back at me was the head of the woman with the beehive hairdo. Nah...I'm imagining it...or was I?
Message: Posted by: Mr. Mystoffelees (Jan 4, 2012 03:10PM)
Being a professional hairdresser, I had to conclude it was indeed my imagination, as there aren't three people in the world who can accomplish a beehive hairdo these days. And I was one of them. On the other hand, I had often had the urge to strangle a client after spending an hour doing their hair.
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jan 5, 2012 02:49AM)
My thoughts turned to Mrs. Eliza Rutherford, the old lady with blue hair whose bank account made the Getty and Carnegie fortunes pale in comparison. Just thinking about how that old hag treated me made me hum the ballad of Sweeny Todd written by English composer Sir Malcolm Arnold.
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Jan 5, 2012 08:53AM)
Suddenly a tall, dark, mysterious man, cigarette in hand, descended the staircase...

Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Jan 5, 2012 09:30AM)
He looked back over his shoulder to see another tall, dark, mysterious man enter:

Message: Posted by: Mr. Mystoffelees (Jan 5, 2012 11:57AM)
Being a professional barber, I couldn't help but notice that he needed a haircut. Mostly on top. But my eyes kept straying to that long, white, unprotected neck. What would it be like to shave that neck? Perhaps too close. Perhaps more. But "more" could put me in the jailhouse. I would survive, though, because my name was Rock, and nobody messes with "Jailhouse Rock"...
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jan 5, 2012 07:52PM)
From the monies earned in doing beehive hairdos for such clients as the late Amy Winehouse and old hags like Mrs Rutherford I recently purchased, the House of Blues, which I named after my dog. (I know he ain't nothing but a hound dog but I love my ole boy.) However, I risked loosing it all if I succumbed to temptation.
Message: Posted by: landmark (Jan 5, 2012 08:26PM)
But I did:

Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jan 5, 2012 09:02PM)
I CAN'T HELP MYSELF and I AIN'T TOO PROUD TO BEG and again I have to ask, WAS IT JUST MY IMAGINATION? You see PAPA WAS A ROLLING STONE which may be the reason I was given the name Rock. My brother was named Roll.
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Jan 6, 2012 06:18PM)
I decided to address the young man in front of me.
"Who are you, son, and what are you doing here?"

"I beg your pardon, sir?"

"Who are you, and what are you doing here?"

"Why my name is Elvis Presley, sir, and I believe it was Mr. Martin over there who invited me."

Dean rushed over. "That's right, Rock. Elvis, glad you could make it. But this was supposed to be a surprise and you're early, man! We haven't got everyone here yet! Well since you gone and spoiled it, I suppose I'll let you know this is a SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY for you, Elvis. Have a good time, will ya?"

"Well, Dean, this is a surprise, coming from you..."

"It's your birthday, young man?" I inquired.

"Well, no sir, leastways... not 'til Sunday."

"I see. How old will you be? - if you don't mind my asking,"

"No sir, I don't mind. I'll be seventy- seven, sir."

"Why, you don't look a day over 25!"

"Well, Thankyou, sir. Thankyou very much. If you don't mind, I think I might like to take a look around, see who else is here." He reached out, shook my hand, nodded, and turned away, looking around the room as he went.
Message: Posted by: landmark (Jan 6, 2012 09:50PM)
And there, to his astonishment,
Message: Posted by: Tom Jorgenson (Jan 6, 2012 10:20PM)
"OIK!!!" he said..."another danged Look Alike convention. At least this batch can sing".
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Jan 7, 2012 10:43AM)
Dean strolled over to me, "If this is a lookalike convention, Mister, who in heck are you supposed to be?!"

Dean then made his way over to the astonished Elvis. "How ya like that Dion, El? Pretty good stuff, huh?" He winked and smiled broadly. Elvis smiled back at him at slapped him heartily on the shoulder. "Thankyou, Dean. I really appreciate you bringin' all these folks in. It's really great... really great, thankyou."
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jan 7, 2012 11:38AM)
This is just what I needed to take my mind off the previous events, I told myself. I decided to relax and enjoy the evening when I caught a glipse of my doppleganger staring at me from across the room.
Message: Posted by: landmark (Jan 7, 2012 10:25PM)
Stupid mirror.
Message: Posted by: mastermindreader (Jan 7, 2012 10:47PM)
There had to be something wrong with the mirror because my reflected doppleganger was no longer staring at me, but at something behind me.
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Jan 7, 2012 11:05PM)
Message: Posted by: acesover (Jan 7, 2012 11:36PM)

Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Jan 8, 2012 01:18AM)
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (Jan 8, 2012 11:13AM)

Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jan 8, 2012 12:19PM)
What was happening to me? Previously, I was hallucinating and now I'm seeing only in black and white. What the....??? I reach into my pocket for......
Message: Posted by: Mr. Mystoffelees (Jan 8, 2012 02:42PM)
... the sheer pleasure of it. But what else did I find? Four coins! Not just coins, but barber halves. Uncirculated! Matching!! Gorgeous!!! But, what good is two bucks in this inflated economy?
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jan 9, 2012 08:30PM)
I felt a tug on my sleeve and instantly I clasped my coins tighter in my hands. "Hey, I'll sing you a song for two bucks", said an rather large imposing woman. Without waiting for an answer, she began to sing.
Message: Posted by: mastermindreader (Jan 9, 2012 08:37PM)
Her voice knocked me back a few steps and then I recognized her. It was Ethel Merman!
Message: Posted by: landmark (Jan 9, 2012 09:16PM)
Okay, I had to admit it. The dame drove me nuts with desire. I was getting hot under the collar and the rest of me was glad to see her too.
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jan 9, 2012 10:23PM)
After her rendition of "Any Thing Goes" or perhaps it was "There's no buisiness like show buisiness" she turned to me and said.....(I honestly can't remember what she sang as I was so enamoured by her presence).
Message: Posted by: mastermindreader (Jan 9, 2012 10:41PM)
"I Get a Kick out of you."

Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jan 10, 2012 05:49PM)
Waking up to the sound of a ringing phone. Wha....?? "Hey sleepy head, said a smooth voice, listen we are in a bit of trouble here,can you help us cousins out and give us a lift?". Grabbing my keys, I headed out the door with the dogs.
Message: Posted by: Mr. Mystoffelees (Jan 11, 2012 01:28PM)
At least I thought I grabbed my keys. When I got to my car, there I stood with two dogs and a butcher knife. That was when the cop walked by. A police dog...