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Topic: Anybody heard from weepinwil?
Message: Posted by: Marlowe (Jan 26, 2013 08:20PM)
I miss Willie.
You know, that zany undertaker who used to post all the morbid humor here.
His website is down and e-mails bounce back.
Does anybody have any info about him?
I hope everything is ok.
Message: Posted by: afinemesh (Jan 26, 2013 08:41PM)
Come to think of it, he has not been here in a while. Bought some Tarot cards from him about six weeks ago, but after that. . .

I too, hope all is well!!
Message: Posted by: Jon W. (Jan 26, 2013 11:05PM)
I enjoy and miss his humorous and insightful posts and hope all is well.
Message: Posted by: Godzilla (Jan 26, 2013 11:12PM)
Try him through PM's!
I know,he had some health issues back a bit.
But,that was a while back! I have not talked to him,in about 4-6 weeks. Last I heard,he had a new book coming out.
Hope all is well with him!
Message: Posted by: Marlowe (Jan 26, 2013 11:35PM)
Thanks, 'zilla
new book probably has him pretty busy.
I'll shoot him a PM.
Message: Posted by: Godzilla (Jan 26, 2013 11:41PM)
[quote]
On 2013-01-27 00:35, Marlowe wrote:
Thanks, 'zilla
new book probably has him pretty busy.
I'll shoot him a PM.
[/quote]



Let him know,we all are concerned,if you get hold of him!

Gary
Message: Posted by: PROF BC (Jan 27, 2013 05:58AM)
"Magicians watching out for Magicians." How can one not love the Spookiae?

You guys are really something. Admiration to you.

BC
Message: Posted by: Van Helmont (Feb 8, 2013 05:11AM)
Any news on this?

VH
Message: Posted by: Marlowe (Feb 8, 2013 10:15AM)
Negative. The PM that I left him is still unread, so I assume he hasn't visited the Café.
Message: Posted by: Godzilla (Feb 8, 2013 10:50AM)
I just sent Willie,a email to a address,I had for him.
Made mention of people asking about him on'Spooky'!
Hope,it will get to him and he can respond back here!

Gary
Message: Posted by: Godzilla (Feb 8, 2013 03:17PM)
Guys,I had a reply back from Willie's email.
He said,he hopes to get back on line soon!
I did let him know,many here were missing him & his humor!

~G
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Feb 8, 2013 03:42PM)
I am totally amazed I was missed so much. It humbles me to know you guys noticed my absence. I had some medical problems and then got busy working on a prepper blog and an e-book on prepping. Then, to occupy my time I decided to take a class on EMS. Needless to say, the instructors are not sure what to do with me. When they asked why everyone was taking the lass they got answers such as, "I am hoping to work as an EMT", "I'm trying to get some knowledge before the nursing classses begin in the fall", and etc. well, when it got to me I looked the instructor squarely in the face and with a somber expression replied, "I'm taking this class because they kicked me out of embalming school." Well, the class fell silent and the instructor asked why I was dismissed from embalming school and I told her, "They thought I was too much of a liability because I think dead girls are more fun." The instructor couldn't leave it alone and said, "Why would anyone think dead girls are more fun?" I replied, "Because they don't mind sleeping on the wet spot."

Missed all of you as well.

My old website isn't valid anymore but you can visit my blog site at weepinwillie.org.

Thank you all for your concern, it has made my week. You probably thought I'd died, it's been so long, but when I do I hope all of you are already waiting for me on the other side....

May the kiss of death linger sweetly upon your cold, pale lips!
Willie
Message: Posted by: Godzilla (Feb 8, 2013 03:56PM)
LOL
I was hoping on not seeing a post from the otherside from you!
Saying something like..."Having a HELL of a time,wish you were here!" :)
Message: Posted by: afinemesh (Feb 8, 2013 05:55PM)
[quote]
On 2013-02-08 16:56, Godzilla wrote:
LOL
I was hoping on not seeing a post from the otherside from you!
Saying something like..."Having a HELL of a time,wish you were here!" :)
[/quote]

Me too! Good to hear from you, Willie!
Message: Posted by: Marlowe (Feb 8, 2013 06:20PM)
Satan locked the gate when he saw him coming down Good Intention Road.

Glad you are still among the un dead.
Relieved that your sense of humor hasn't been affected!
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Feb 8, 2013 06:44PM)
Just got back from a wake and it was awful. The embalming looked like it was done by an amateur and whoever did it didn't use enough tint so the skin color was way too pale and no thread was used to pull the lips into a smile or at least if it was the pull was not enough. The person looked anything but natural. I didn't want to go in the first place but my wife insisted even after my logical argument of, "Why should we go to their wake, they're not coming to ours." When we walked in the door of the funeral home a table had some mints on it and people were standing around unwrapping them and putting them in their mouths. I walked up to the group and said, "What are you doing?" everyone looked puzzled, especially since they didn't know me, but one guy asked what I meant. "Never eat anything provided by the funeral home," I said, "It can't be healthy or it would be bad for business." Of course the funeral home lady was a little offended and informed me she had put those mints out today with a lot of love. We talked. I came home with my wife who said she wished we had not gone because the person looked so bad. It was a total bust and I was so discouraged I didn't even do my coin behind the cadaver's ear trick. (I used to do the card in the dead man's mouth trick but most of the funeral homes seal the lips with super glue and staple the jaws shut now a days.) Maybe at the funeral I'll get to do some graveyard magic, after all.... all funerals begin with FUN. (If any of you want an idea for graveside magic may I suggest the remote controlled recorder placed in the coffin and once the lid is closed and the casket is lowered have it yelling Help! Help! Let me out. It's worth the cost.)

see you on the other side....
Message: Posted by: Van Helmont (Feb 8, 2013 09:02PM)
Great to have you back among the ... er ..., you know, ... us!
Message: Posted by: RandyScott (Feb 8, 2013 10:57PM)
Good to see you again weepinwil,

I've missed that unique humor you bring to the Café.
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Feb 9, 2013 05:27PM)
Thanks guys.
Message: Posted by: Autumn Morning Star (Feb 13, 2013 10:09AM)
No super glue, staples, or (especially) trocar for me, thank you. I would rather be wrapped and stuck in a tree and eaten by urban raccoons. Glad you are back, Willie.
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Feb 13, 2013 11:00AM)
Thanks Autumn,for your kind words.

You would be safe with my House of Discount Funeral arrangements. We do not do any of that, we just say we do and charge you for it, hoping everything holds in place until after the wake. Personally, during this Valentine season, I would recommend cremation because "Nothing says lovin' like something from the crematory oven!" However, it's your last day so you should have it your way and I have a nice tree behind the Death Emporium and for some additional money would be willing to import the racoons.

Here's hoping to see you on your last day,

Weepin' Willie
"We promise not to have sex with the dead."
(However, if that's your last wish we know a funeral establishment down the road that will accomodate your request. Just let us know when you pre-arrange.)
Message: Posted by: Van Helmont (Feb 13, 2013 11:23AM)
[quote]
On 2013-02-13 11:09, Autumn Morning Star wrote:
I would rather be wrapped and stuck in a tree and eaten by urban raccoons. [/quote]

My mother went that way; she still won't talk to me.
Message: Posted by: Michael_MacDonald (Feb 13, 2013 11:44AM)
Omg lol this thread went from wheres willie to who stiffed the corps in nothing flat lol.
missed ya will!@
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Feb 13, 2013 12:26PM)
Michael, Glad to be back. My clients had stopped laughing at my jokes. Guess that's the difference between the living and the dead. The living laugh at everything but the dead are more particular at what they laugh at.

Van, don't feel bad she won't talk to Sister Mary Louise either.
Message: Posted by: Harley Newman (Feb 13, 2013 12:46PM)
Welcome back!

What will you do with all the mints in your pocket? There seem to be so many possibilities!
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Feb 13, 2013 12:56PM)
Harley,

We use thorasic corks to block the throat from expressive secretion and anal corks to block the colon. I find it is cheaper to use mints instead of corks and, as a plus, it prevents bad breath and smelly farts. (Anyone who does not believe corpses fart have never attended a body with excessive distension of the abdoman.) When the funeral is over and the lid is closed, I can recycle them to the free candy dish in the visitation room.
Message: Posted by: David Eichler (Feb 13, 2013 11:14PM)
You have forever changed the way I will look at mints...
Message: Posted by: afinemesh (Feb 13, 2013 11:40PM)
[quote]
On 2013-02-14 00:14, David Eichler wrote:
You have forever changed the way I will look at mints...
[/quote]

Yeah, no kidding!
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Feb 14, 2013 08:27AM)
If you ever hear someone say, "These mints taste like crap!" You will know why.

Someone wanted to know how I remove them so I thought I might have others who are wondering as well. You flat handed slap the abdomen just below the navel and they both pop right out. Our preplanning offers a choice between spearmint,peppermint, and candy cane flavor.
Message: Posted by: Godzilla (Feb 15, 2013 12:27AM)
[quote]
On 2013-02-14 09:27, weepinwil wrote:

Someone wanted to know how I remove them...
[/quote]





I'm more curious to how you put them in, than popping them out ?
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Feb 15, 2013 07:09AM)
We just lick 'em and stick 'em. Used Life Saver mints, at first, because they had a small hole in the middle and were easier to install with a small dowel; however, when the cadaver passed gas it was almost like blowing a small trumpet so we had to stop using them. The attendees didn't understand the problem and thought they were still alive and trying to talk or make a noise. At first we just pulled out the cadaver puppets and mouth synched the noise for the kids but eventually decided to abandon the Life Saver brand for a cheaper, more efficeint mint. Hope this helps explain the process for you Godzilla.
Message: Posted by: Godzilla (Feb 15, 2013 12:05PM)
Lol
Yep! I had to ask!
Message: Posted by: KOTAH (Feb 15, 2013 12:38PM)
Ever consider canned wxpanding insulation foam to fill the offending orfices Will ?

You are one very amusing guy.

Kotah
Message: Posted by: Harley Newman (Feb 15, 2013 12:52PM)
Will would not want to foment discord by filling in the blanks!
Message: Posted by: Godzilla (Feb 15, 2013 12:56PM)
[quote]
On 2013-02-15 13:38, KOTAH wrote:
Ever consider canned wxpanding insulation foam to fill the offending orfices Will ?



That is a great idea!
Then when Willie,pops them out,he could sell them as ...
"Willie's Fishing Bobbers"
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Feb 17, 2013 07:58AM)
[quote]
On 2013-02-15 13:38, KOTAH wrote:
Ever consider canned wxpanding insulation foam to fill the offending orfices Will ?

You are one very amusing guy.

Kotah
[/quote]

Kotah,

As a discount funeral establishment, we have to be careful on prices and the canned foam is a bit more expensive; however, I did try a can and believe you may have created another method for us. Once popped out the anal sealents make great ear plugs. Just the right size. Great for the guy who is tired of hearing crap from his wife or friends.

Weepin' Willie,

Don't forget we have the new and improved "Double Occupancy Coffins in stock for those who want to take a friend when you go. Works great for Murder-Suicide occupants.
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Feb 17, 2013 08:09AM)
[quote]
On 2013-02-15 13:56, Godzilla wrote:
[quote]
On 2013-02-15 13:38, KOTAH wrote:
Ever consider canned wxpanding insulation foam to fill the offending orfices Will ?



That is a great idea!
Then when Willie,pops them out,he could sell them as ...
"Willie's Fishing Bobbers"
[/quote]

You're right Godzilla, the fish love them and snatch them up hook, line, and sinker, guess it's the smell. But, at one bobber (line and all) per fish they are cost prohibitive. Offered the second batch of phayrangial stoppers as discount breast implants for small endowed homeless women but no one would touch them so had to use them as wine corks instead. Going to abandon the insulation foam and go back to the candy mints (Maybe gummy savers). Always appreciate the helpful hints form Café' members and willing to try them out. As for removal of the foam, they adhere more to the lining and don't pop out, so I had to use the method of the constipated mathmatician and worked them out with a pencil.

Weepin' Willie

Don't forget we have the new and improved "Double Occupancy Coffins in stock for those who want to take a friend when you go. Works great for Murder-Suicide occupants.
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Feb 17, 2013 08:38AM)
[quote]
On 2013-02-15 13:52, Harley Newman wrote:
Will would not want to foment discord by filling in the blanks!
[/quote]

Always trying to create peace and avoid discord among the dead.
Message: Posted by: weepinwil (Feb 17, 2013 08:41AM)
[quote]
On 2013-02-15 13:38, KOTAH wrote:
Ever consider canned wxpanding insulation foam to fill the offending orfices Will ?

You are one very amusing guy.

Kotah
[/quote]

Thanks for the compliment Kotah. Most people just see me as an inter-containing type of guy.

Weepin' Willie
House of Discount Funerals and Funeral Supplies.