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Topic: Depression: I'm in a bad place
Message: Posted by: critter (May 14, 2014 12:55PM)
I feel like so much dead weight. I have long been afflicted with OCD, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, migraines, and asthma. These things all make me burdensome. I am finally finishing school and have a substantial amount of loan debt but no real job prospects. I feel like an idiot for falling for the hype that my college Dean fed me when he talked me into going into this program. He said that it would be easy to get a $70k + job out there with this degree. There aren't any. I should have looked harder. I'll be lucky if I make enough to even cover my loan payments, let alone support my family. My age doesn't help. I feel like I am failing as a man by not being able to "bring home the bacon." I can't get self-destructive thoughts out of my mind. I just can't figure out how to turn this off. Therapy never helped. Medication never helped. I'm just fundamentally broken and I can't see any way out of it.
Message: Posted by: freefallillusion1 (May 14, 2014 02:04PM)
You're not broken- you're a child of God and as such you're an awesome creation. Praying for you! Hang in there!
Message: Posted by: Michael Baker (May 14, 2014 02:24PM)
I would risk a guess and say you are not burdensome to those who love you, even if your perception is different.

Regarding your medical issues: Consider changing doctors. Whatever medications you were on, apparently were not working. Fresh eyes may be what it will take.

Regarding your job situation: Take inventory outside of your degree(s). Be imaginative and think about what you are qualified to do. Think about what you might enjoy doing. Accepting less money than you might hope for is better than no money at all. It doesn't mean you have to stay in that position forever. If you are fishing in dead water, you won't catch anything... and you don't continue doing so unless things change. You can always come back to it.

Student loan debt is quickly becoming headline news. Maybe something will result from that which will help you manage it.

Personally, I think bringing home the bacon is a relative term. I readjust and reinvent as often as I have to.

I hope you find your solutions. :)
Message: Posted by: RicHeka (May 14, 2014 05:25PM)
Excellent post Michael.

Critter....I have enjoyed reading your contributions here at the Café over the years.

Most human beings go through challenging times at some time or another [I know I have]. We are fortunate to exist during an technological era when some profound inspiration is only a click or two away.

I am not saying that the following link will be the 'end all' of your concerns...but I have personally found this site helpful at various times: http://greatday.com/

There is a daily inspirational message, and a great search feature for specific concerns.

Please check it out. I personally start every day there, and have recommended it to family and friends....who are all also positive about it.

Also, I find the 'wisdom' of ancient philosopher's such as the GREAT Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius quite helpful [putting things in perspective].....as well as interesting. For example:

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

and...

“Do not indulge in dreams of having what you have not, but reckon up the chief of the blessings you do possess, and then thankfully remember how you would crave for them if they were not yours.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

and...

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

There is much more 'inspiration' just a sincere search away.

Try to stay strong.

Rich
Message: Posted by: Mark Boody Illusionist (May 14, 2014 05:33PM)
Critter

I have been where you are at. Please seek professional help. It took me a while to find the right combination, but it is out there. I will be praying for you.

Don't give up.

Mark
Message: Posted by: critter (May 14, 2014 05:35PM)
Thanks. It's been coming in waves. I've had some good counsel from friends and a former Dean. Just gotta' keep pushing forward right now and hope things work out...
Message: Posted by: critter (May 14, 2014 06:30PM)
Apparently, I misunderstood something about the income based loan repayment program. I thought that they took into account the amount of your loan and then assigned a time period based on that. Apparently the 25 year program is based only on 15% of income above the federal poverty line. Most of the horror stories seem to be from the private loans, and I only have one of those for $6k. I feel much less hopeless now.
Message: Posted by: critter (May 14, 2014 06:48PM)
And even better news, the PLUS loan IS eligible when it's for grad school, so they'd all be covered if I got a low paying job.
Message: Posted by: Julie (May 14, 2014 10:16PM)
A bunch of prayers for you have been answered...

I am so happy for you! (Now YOU are in charge.)

Sincerely,

Julie
Message: Posted by: Michael Baker (May 15, 2014 08:12AM)
[quote]On May 14, 2014, critter wrote:
Just gotta' keep pushing forward right now and hope things work out... [/quote]

Be open to this so you'll recognize it when it happens. It could come in a form you don't expect.
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (May 15, 2014 10:51AM)
Courageous post, critter. You have much support here, and you're more than capable- allow, its yours. Trust your wise mind. We love you. Take care.
Message: Posted by: Mary Mowder (May 15, 2014 01:00PM)
Critter,

I enjoy your posts as well.

Try and remember how bad it seemed before... but it wasn't.

Things are often better than they seem if you just hold on.

Best wishes through hard times.

-Mary Mowder
Message: Posted by: Devious (May 15, 2014 02:37PM)
Boy, it sure was courageous of you to share just
as Laurie stated. I've been a huge fan of your
posts and consider you one of my favourite
online friends.

You are one of the reasons that I even post here.
When I was going through this, my local friends
gave me this advice, "Drink Heavily!"

I tried this and it didn't work, they will get
the money when you have and no sooner, who cares
about a bad credit rating...

P.S. Just don't eat bacon anymore.
I don't think John Testa would mind :goodluck:
Message: Posted by: MagicBus (May 15, 2014 06:05PM)
Thanks for sharing, I think just about everyone on the planet struggles somewhere in their lives- I know I have for sure. It is not easy nowadays to find good paying jobs, or even keep businesses going that at one time may have been booming. If I could do it all over again, I would have thought and bought smaller, closer to being downsized/minimalist all the time, rather than financing out the maximum for this or that and then being stuck/yoked to a huge secured debt load for a zillion years.

Student loans: lots of repayment plans available. 10 years working in certain areas in government/teaching type jobs, government loans are discharged. Other government loans can be repaid over 20 years on a real income basis, then finally discharged. Sounds like you already looked into that. The student loan crisis in America is close to a trillion dollars now, I'm hoping relief legislation may be coming soon. As a bankruptcy attorney, I often file 5 year Chapter 13 repayment plans for a very low amount (say $50 a month)- this gives one 5 years of breathing space and student loan public and private creditors cannot come after you again at all during this 5 year period. A filer just basically puts the student loans on the back shelf for 5 years. Everything else (general unsecured creditors) gets Discharged at the end of the Chapter 13 too. Hardship Discharges on student loans in Chapter 7 are possible, but difficult to get totally forgiven now as the judges basically believe if you can walk and talk, you should work out some sort of student loan repayment plan.

As for depression, a good medical doctor is the key. Some family physicians seem to not know what to prescribe really and nothing changes (other than feeling tired and/or "out of it"), other psychiatrists can prescribe the exact mixture of several medications that does absolute wonders.

I am a Christian but I still sometimes struggle with "worry". Having a box of bills and half the funds to pay them, etc.. Just recently, I listened to Andy Stanley's three part series on www.youtube.com about "worry"- I found these messages encouraging and very helpful to me personally. Just put "Andy Stanley Why Worry" in the youtube search box and it will lead you to these short video messages.

Per the comments above, your family loves you more than you'll ever know. You can't be put in jail no matter how much you owe, creditors can deal with it (and do). Debtors prison is long gone. All comes down eventually to a tax write off if the creditors don't get their money, phooey. I know debtors worry about they money they owe more than the creditors who are owed money do oddly enough. Creditors often sell their bad accounts off for pennies on the dollar, it doesn't really matter all that much in the big scheme of things.

Your family and friends cannot replace you, period. As a Christian, I know that God cares for me. He really does, I have learned this to be true even in the most difficult times. I could be very specific here where at times situations seemed absolutely and tearfully hopeless, only be totally resolved a few months later.

Hang in there, sometimes the unclear bus ride sucks, but smooth and more focused roads are around the big perspective corner. Contrary to the above, I find eating more bacon is good, and I especially enjoy eating the KFC original recipe chicken legs- absolutely delicious. :)
Message: Posted by: landmark (May 15, 2014 11:00PM)
It's helped me in times like this to reconnect with the things I used to love, to nurture the parts of me that I had been neglecting for too long.

Time to throw some rocks?
Message: Posted by: critter (May 16, 2014 10:17AM)
Even with the bit of relief I still can't seem to snap out of this. I still have a mountain of issues with graduating. I don't have the data to finish my thesis. I don't know what to do for a job. I just feel buried right now. I got so behind in everything this winter from having the flu three times. I have barely eaten or slept all week. I have a good fiancee who is helping me through this but I feel like I'm burdening her with all of my problems. She doesn't make much money either and I want to be able to get us a place so she feels secure. I knew one girl who worked a full time job while finishing her Master's and some days I can't even make myself move at all. I don't understand why it's so difficult for me. I feel useless being slowed down by all of these things.
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (May 16, 2014 12:23PM)
One thing at a time right now, maybe, critter? Guys aren't always geared to multitasking. Women tend to have an inclination for it. See a doctor if you think you need to- you know what you need. Gotta eat. Gotta sleep. Get the data. Keep on with the job search. Something I'll tell ya about a girl, and I think this would be true of your fiancee- a girl WANTS to help. She considers the fact that you let her in on things to be a COMPLIMENT- she doesn't see it as blame or a burden-she's not a guy!!! She already knows you're not perfect. :heckno: ;) Keep that in mind- guys and girls are different like that- just don't take advantage. Be thankful, appreciative, and she won't hold it against ya the way a guy might. Share a piece of her load once in awhile. Let her share her concerns with you, and just listen, she needs to talk, too. Don't see her concerns as an expectation that YOU have to fix them. She's sharing them because she needs to, and she TRUSTS you to hear them. She'll feel better just knowing she can share her concerns with you, too. You can get through TOGETHER. Perhaps unsolicited advice on my part, so maybe just run it by her and see if she agrees or tells magicalaurie to shutup. ;) All the very best, critter.
Message: Posted by: Mary Mowder (May 16, 2014 02:08PM)
Critter,

I really feel for you.

I find that breaking up tasks is a good way to get started.

Even clearing a table to work can be a low stress starting point.
"I don't have to do the whole thing, I just want to clear the table."

Just plan the next step at the end of your first task so you have an idea of what you will do next.

It can also help to just think through the task with no immediate action.
"If I did the task (remember to plan small steps) how would I proceed?"
You will often find that planning without expectation of immediate action is less daunting. After all, you don't have to do anything, just think.
And… doing a task that has already been planned is much less stressful as well because your path is clear before you.

Make your girlfriend a cup of tea. Even small service to others will lighten your mood (real magic!). That kind of sweetness from Tom charms me completely.

Best wishes critter.

-Mary
Message: Posted by: Chessmann (May 16, 2014 02:38PM)
You know a simple tool that helps me deal with my days? Just writing down what I need to or should do each day. Not sure why that works, but I love it. I guess it just takes the things that are swirling around in my head and puts them on a very manageable list. Works wonders for me.

Also, when we are down, tough situations seem to take on MUCH greater importance than they ought to. Just try to cultivate an attitude - even a single phrase that you really can take to heart and remember - along the lines of "just remember what is REALLY important" or "don't give tough spots more weight to your life than they deserve". One that I like and think about often is, "Find out what you don't like doing...and stop doing it." Whatever you think is most appropriate, obviously.

Also, if you don't spend time with friends or doing activities (i.e., you're always either at work or at home) get out and do stuff with friends on a semi-regular basis - I ALWAYS feel better after having spent time with friends.

Meet with a group of people on a semi-regular basis who have similar struggles (if you're not already). It is often very relieving to have time with others like this - for whatever reason, reminders that it is not only you are OFTEN helpful - even if your conscious mind knows this, EXPERIENCING it is different and much more effective. Don't know why, I only know that it is true.

Think about this - I did, and I think it is true: people often get their greatest fulfillment when they serve other people. Find an outlet to serve/help other people. Teaching people something, building for others (Habitat for Humanity, maybe?), serving food to homeless or elderly, volunteering at a retirement/nursing home, being a Big Brother, working in a clothes closet - doing tangible things for real people. Make a list :) of possibilities, and each week find an opportunity to go and do one of them, and maybe you'll really find a home in one of them.

Do NOT let your depression paralyze you into inactivity in the above, or in anything. Depression and inactivity will feed off of each other in a negative way.
Message: Posted by: GlenD (May 16, 2014 06:20PM)
Being a person of character and integrity, mixed with steady effort almost always pays off. I believe you are that kind of person and that the right doors will open up for you and you will find your niche, so to speak. Sometimes all it takes is for one thing to go right or fall into place and things start to work out. The loans might seem like they will never be paid off but what you will find is that it will become like a little unexpected bonus when that last payment is made, after becoming almost forgotten and just another part of the monthly budget for so long. You take care and don't forget to count your blessings and I sincerely hope that I have not spoken out of turn in anything I have stated. And like others here, I feel that You're very courageous for opening up and sharing deeply personal stuff but also feel that it could help too.

Glen
Message: Posted by: Devious (May 16, 2014 07:02PM)
Keep hangin' in there Critter-Done!
YOu can clearly see how many folks love ya' guy.


@Laurie, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Although meant for Critter Done, this is going
to help me in so many ways my dear..thanks for
your female insight. {{{Hugs}}}

[quote]On May 16, 2014, magicalaurie wrote:
One thing at a time right now, maybe, critter? Guys aren't always geared to multitasking. Women tend to have an inclination for it. See a doctor if you think you need to- you know what you need. Gotta eat. Gotta sleep. Get the data. Keep on with the job search. Something I'll tell ya about a girl, and I think this would be true of your fiancee- a girl WANTS to help. She considers the fact that you let her in on things to be a COMPLIMENT- she doesn't see it as blame or a burden-she's not a guy!!! She already knows you're not perfect. :heckno: ;) Keep that in mind- guys and girls are different like that- just don't take advantage. Be thankful, appreciative, and she won't hold it against ya the way a guy might. Share a piece of her load once in awhile. Let her share her concerns with you, and just listen, she needs to talk, too. Don't see her concerns as an expectation that YOU have to fix them. She's sharing them because she needs to, and she TRUSTS you to hear them. She'll feel better just knowing she can share her concerns with you, too. You can get through TOGETHER. Perhaps unsolicited advice on my part, so maybe just run it by her and see if she agrees or tells magicalaurie to shutup. ;) All the very best, critter. [/quote]
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (May 17, 2014 11:57AM)
Hi Critter,

I'm sorry you are going through this and as all the others posted you will find love and support here.

I agree with Laurie you should share your feelings with your girl as you have to ask yourself, "If she were going through tough times would you want her to tell you?" She loves you and would want to be there for you and you both are in this together as future life partners.

Sometimes things get so overwhelming that we are unable to see the big picture - I think Mary was right - break up the huge task into smaller ones and tackle those. The large load you are carrying right now places you in a cycle that appears insurmountable and perhaps adds to the depression. Don't be so hard on yourself! You have a wonderful soul and even tho' I've never met you - your amazing spirit shines through your post.

No doubt the student loan and job prospects are adding to your worries but let yourself step back for a moment. You may be having difficulty finding the perfect job at the moment but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Even if you have spent numerous years on your education and now have to take a job that is not what you expected - try to focus on the positive. It's not forever but temporary and will ease some of the financial burden. That will put you in a more positive frame of mind and able to tackle the more difficult issues in the near future.

Partnership is a two way street and not always 50/50 but does add up to 100. Sometimes one partner will carry 70% of the load and the other only 30% , then a shift may happen the other way and the other partner assist with more of the load. You alone don't have to carry it 100%. Your view at the moment appears to be thinking that you as a man have to provide, but please try to see that your girl being in a more positive frame of mind can take on more than you at the moment. Don't be afraid to allow her to take the reins while you climb back up from the current dark place you are in. Someday, she may need you to take on the greater load and you would do so in a heartbeat as you obviously love her. She loves you and and that is what partnership is all about - two people sharing their lives and not one going about it alone.

Lastly, When you are in a frame of mind that you are experiencing - everything is magnified and it is only later in retrospect that you are able to see this. No doubt you have a lot on your plate and life seems hard at the moment - pick a mantra to play in your head. A positive message that means something to you and repeat to yourself in low moments. Keep doing it so that you BELIEVE IT! Right now the messages getting through to you are probably negative and you are believing those ones. Listen to that one positive mantra that you have chosen and will mean something to you to replace the negative one.

Sending hugs and positive thoughts to you.
C
Message: Posted by: critter (May 18, 2014 12:51PM)
My girl is the best. She's being very understanding and helpful through this depression. She has been trying to encourage me to eat, which I haven't done much of. I've lost a lot of weight, so it's not *all* bad...
The worst part about depression is not being able to enjoy anything. Nothing is exciting. Nothing gets me wanting to move. I just go through the motions like a zombie.
Message: Posted by: w_s_anderson (May 18, 2014 05:41PM)
Hey Critter,

Please seek a different doctor, for your own sake. Self destructive thoughts are no joke my friend. Especially if they start turning to self harm thoughts. I have lost a few friends that way. They made a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you ever just needed someone to talk or vent to feel free to call me.

Scott
503.481.7074
Message: Posted by: Mark Boody Illusionist (May 18, 2014 06:12PM)
Scott is right. This is a problem that needs professional help. I said it before, it takes the RIGHT doctor to get you back on track. I have been right where you are. PM me and I can relate my experiences.

Mark
Message: Posted by: critter (May 18, 2014 06:54PM)
I'm having trouble getting a Doctor. I got on free state healthcare but the Doctor they assigned me was an error, as that Doctor isn't a PCP, and I'm having trouble finding anyone that takes new patients with my insurance. Things keep piling up and feeling more hopeless. Lots of people want to help me, but no one I know has the resources to. Even if I got a part time minimum wage job and they got my student loan payments to $0 over 25 years I'll still be taxed $12k when they forgive them.
Message: Posted by: Bob1Dog (May 18, 2014 09:53PM)
Critter, this is the first I'm reading of your difficulties. I have OCD too and I know how the ups and downs of anxieties can work on you. You definitely need to see a psychiatrist. Someone who can prescribe the proper drugs to get you out of all the "what if" scenarios that folks with OCD get themselves into ruminating about.

You live in Washington, and I have to believe you can get yourself into some kind of crisis help situation. I understand your suffering and I have my own devils. But medication and psychotherapy work wonders. You can also be directed to support groups of folks who share your problems. There are numerous ways to deal with this, but don't give up. Make phone calls seeking help; that alone will help you focus on the positive rather than the negative. Help is there. Find it. PM me if you wish further information. And keep us posted!
Message: Posted by: critter (May 19, 2014 10:12AM)
I'm going to try to go to the student health counselling center today. On top of everything else, my computer has a virus now.
Message: Posted by: critter (May 19, 2014 10:25PM)
I saw a counsellor at the school today. She gave me some tasks and made me an appointment to get sleeping pills since I haven't been able to sleep at all. Unfortunately, the next appointment available wasn't until next week.
Message: Posted by: Bob1Dog (May 19, 2014 10:53PM)
Stay with it Critter. Hopefully the sleeping pills will help you sleep. But you might talk to her about anti anxiety meds because you seem to be experiencing that. There are lots of them out there and they block those impulses in the brain that cause you to ruminate and worry. But any progress is good. Stay on track. You CAN beat this. I know from my own OCD that you want instant results and next week isn't good enough for you. But each day will pass and you will find yourself again in the hands of a professional. Take heart in that. Keep us posted.
Message: Posted by: critter (May 20, 2014 03:01PM)
I really appreciate everyone's comments. Sorry about not saying so sooner. I put out a lot of calls for help and a lot of good people have given me emotional support and that is showing me what there is to stick around for. It's more important than I can say. Thank you.
Message: Posted by: magicalaurie (May 20, 2014 03:02PM)
You're welcome, critter.
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (May 20, 2014 11:32PM)
You are among a great group here and glad to see your latest note a bit more uplifting. You can do it Critter!
Message: Posted by: critter (May 21, 2014 11:08AM)
I'm getting worse. I have an appointment with crisis management today. If things change I'll let you know. Thanks again for the support.
Message: Posted by: landmark (May 21, 2014 12:16PM)
Patience.
Message: Posted by: Mary Mowder (May 21, 2014 12:29PM)
I see you are a juggler.

A little juggling can help me when I'm down. It is impossible to think about anything else when I am doing some challenging juggling. There is a bump in endorphins afterwards as well.

Listen to some uplifting music, things that you loved during happier times.

Ignore the news and don't watch crime solving T.V. etc…

Enjoy the signs of the season when you are out.

Best wishes for the appointment. I give you great credit for seeking help.

The best way to thank your supporters is to keep fighting the good fight. You can and will get better.

-Mary Mowder
Message: Posted by: critter (May 21, 2014 11:27PM)
I'm not actually the juggler, that's my beautiful life partner ;)
Things are a little better. I got some good news this morning about my program status. I am still in a depressed state and probably will be for a bit longer, but am starting to have some traces of my old self showing again. Even ate three whole times today.

The crisis counsellor gave me a plan to get a regular counsellor. I have no idea how permanent that will be, given that I don't know if I'll lose my insurance when I get a job or not, but for now it's a plan.
Message: Posted by: Bob1Dog (May 21, 2014 11:56PM)
[quote]On May 22, 2014, critter wrote:
The crisis counsellor gave me a plan to get a regular counsellor. I have no idea how permanent that will be, given that I don't know if I'll lose my insurance when I get a job or not, but for now it's a plan. [/quote]

Try to let go of the "what ifs" down the road critter. Think about the here and now. You have a plan. Down the road you'll find other alternatives. Put your "what ifs" in the "down the road" envelope and open it when you think you need to. Stay with your plan. Be well. :-)
Message: Posted by: critter (May 22, 2014 07:08PM)
Thank you.
Message: Posted by: Pakar Ilusi (May 24, 2014 11:06PM)
[quote]On May 14, 2014, critter wrote:
I feel like so much dead weight. I have long been afflicted with OCD, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, migraines, and asthma. These things all make me burdensome. I am finally finishing school and have a substantial amount of loan debt but no real job prospects. I feel like an idiot for falling for the hype that my college Dean fed me when he talked me into going into this program. He said that it would be easy to get a $70k + job out there with this degree. There aren't any. I should have looked harder. I'll be lucky if I make enough to even cover my loan payments, let alone support my family. My age doesn't help. I feel like I am failing as a man by not being able to "bring home the bacon." I can't get self-destructive thoughts out of my mind. I just can't figure out how to turn this off. Therapy never helped. Medication never helped. I'm just fundamentally broken and I can't see any way out of it. [/quote]

Sorry I didn't see your post sooner, Bro...

Focus on what you have and you have a lot, really. A loving family being one of the top blessings, I'm sure...

You are an intelligent and strong person, both physically and mentally. I know you enough to say that, I feel...

Focus on doing things you love and make money there. Seriously.

All the best Bro... My heart out to you... ;)
Message: Posted by: critter (May 25, 2014 07:40PM)
Home now with family. One day at a time.
Message: Posted by: Motley Mage (May 30, 2014 09:00PM)
Hey Critter--

You don't know me, and I really don't know you. I've followed your posts, but who we are online is not always who we are, though your courage in these messages tells me you are laying out a lot of the real you here. I'm going to PM you some stuff that I hops will matter. PLEASE let me know how you are doing, as well as keeping up the lines of communication here.

Motley Mage--David Freeman
Message: Posted by: critter (May 30, 2014 10:26PM)
Thanks everybody. As an update, I have been very busy with several appointments a day to try and get everything lined up and get a plan going. I've started a six month program of counselling and the organization that is doing this for me actually has positions with my degree and if I can get one they currently have a program for their employees that gives loan forgiveness after two years. I also got something to help me sleep. I've also started drawing again to get some of the stuff that's in my head out of it. And now I am watching Ghostbusters.
Message: Posted by: Chessmann (May 31, 2014 12:39PM)
Getting enough sleep can be a BIG help.
Message: Posted by: Mary Mowder (Jun 17, 2014 03:52PM)
Just checking in.

How are you doing critter?

Most of your posts seem to be in the School shooting thread. Try and focus on the positive, eh?

-Mary Mowder
Message: Posted by: critter (Jun 17, 2014 11:43PM)
Doing okay. Have a lot going on.
Message: Posted by: critter (Jun 18, 2014 03:39PM)
So I finally got my anti-depressants today. They'll take a few weeks to start working. I also have some more of the stuff to help me sleep. Had a job interview last week but didn't get it. Filled out some more apps and a friend put in a word for me at one of the companies. I also had to get a new phone because mine died. And I've been drawing to focus some of my brain stuff. Also running and taking dog for more walks (on top of the Yoga I already do). Today they drew blood for testing to see if there's anything else they need to address (hormone and vitamin levels.)

And Critter Jr. has an ear infection.
Message: Posted by: Mary Mowder (Jun 19, 2014 01:07PM)
Glad to hear you got the anti-depressants.

Have a friend monitor how you react to them. My brother is on those (and several others) and getting the dosage right is a process.

Running or even walking can be a great help. Good for you for getting out there and being proactive.

Ear infections are common for Kids. If you are staying on top of it you should not be overly concerned.

Best luck on the job search.

-Mary Mowder
Message: Posted by: critter (Jun 19, 2014 04:23PM)
Luckily I have a good support network, both in town and online. I'm still getting used to people actually caring how I'm doing. I am grateful for it but not always good at knowing how to respond to it since it's such a new thing.
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Jul 13, 2014 08:40PM)
Still thinking of you and hope things are turning around for you. Positive thoughts sent. :O) :goodluck:
Message: Posted by: Pakar Ilusi (Jul 15, 2014 01:44PM)
[quote]On Jul 13, 2014, Chrystal wrote:
Still thinking of you and hope things are turning around for you. Positive thoughts sent. :O) :goodluck: [/quote]

Yes, me too... :ohyes:
Message: Posted by: General_Magician (Sep 2, 2014 10:40PM)
Critter,

I had no idea you were having problem. I hope you will be OK. If you ever need anybody to talk to, you are more than welcome to call me as well at (478) 213-3991. My name is William Davenport. Remember, you are not alone in dealing with depression. Many others have dealt with it before. Stay strong my friend. It's not easy, but remember, though the bad times might be here now, they will soon pass and the good times will come again. Always remember that my friend. Never quit, never give up, stay strong and stay in the fight. Many people here will bend over backwards to help you out and make sure you are OK. You are not alone.
Message: Posted by: critter (Oct 24, 2014 01:13AM)
Thanks all. Just staying busy
Message: Posted by: Chrystal (Oct 28, 2014 11:03PM)
We miss you around so know you have friends here.
Cheers
Message: Posted by: Magnus Eisengrim (Oct 30, 2014 09:25AM)
I just found this, critter. You know how fond I've been of you for many years of café friendship. Please PM if you'd like to chat.

John
Message: Posted by: charliemartin (Nov 6, 2014 10:08AM)
Hey Critter, I have dealt with major depression for many years and have survived three suicide attempts. Don't worry about the future or eeven tomorrow, concentrate on today. Make sure you laugh everyday and share your magic with other people.Hang in there, it gets better.

Charlie
Message: Posted by: Geoff Weber (Feb 12, 2015 10:25AM)
Someone told me that this comic described their feelings on depression:
http://www.akimbocomics.com/?p=573
Message: Posted by: Piers (Jul 12, 2015 04:46AM)
Wishing you 'well'.

Piers.