(Close Window)
Topic: Funny bed of nails idea
Message: Posted by: kasper777 (Feb 21, 2004 09:02PM)
I recently got this sudden urge to make a bed of nails but I want to do a comedy routine with it. I'm looking for some ideas. I was thinking of doing the ole' break the brick on the chest, but use foam bricks and a fake hammer, or a bed of fake rubber nails.

Also looking for ideas of tieing magic into the bed, e.g. doing a mental rountine, but everytime I get the (card, number, whatever) wrong, more people stand on me.

Or, running towards the bed and jump and land on my back behind the bed of nails, so from the front it looks like I just jumped onto the bed of nails.

Any other ideas??? Thanks in advance.

nolan
Message: Posted by: spatrick (Feb 21, 2004 09:30PM)
Go to the store and by about 100 Lee Press On Nails. Throw them onto a mattress and lay down. You are now on a bed of nails. Of course that act would need lots of "polish". You can say that you have wanted to do this since you saw your own father do it many years ago. You might say that you were "ingrown" to do it. Just don't get caught in the bed springs or you'll be a "hang nail". If you can get a sponsor to front you the money you can get a pro basketball team. It could be billed as "Nolan's Bed of Nails" Sponsored By The LA Clippers.

It's late and I get silly when I stay up late!!!

S. Patrick
Message: Posted by: Cabrera (Feb 22, 2004 04:18PM)
Maybe you could make a bed of screws. The possibility for adult jokes would be pretty good.
Message: Posted by: Pete Biro (Mar 11, 2004 01:26AM)
Off topic???

Here in L.A. they came up with benches at bus stops that had these protrusions between each person, this was to keep bums from sleeping on the benches.

So, my line was (is), "Have you seen the new benches a the bus stops? They're supposed to keep the homeless guys from laying on them to sleep. Trouble is we've had a rush of Hindu Fakirs in town.... and to them they're comfortable!"
Message: Posted by: Reg Rozee (Mar 11, 2004 03:31AM)
Well, if you did it with your coat on it would be pretty funny if you stood up afterwards, wiped your forehead ("Phew!"), took a drink of water, and then leaked from about twenty holes in your back...

You could also do the old proof that the nails are real by pushing a balloon on to them (which in the normal demonstration pops), only in this case it won't break and when you lean on it the nails actually penetrate the balloon!

Perhaps when you stand up the bed is stuck to your back, and someone has to pry it off you. Or if it doesn't move, you can't stand up until someone helps you, and then there is a loud, squishy sucking sound as you are pulled off it.

Perhaps you do it as a mental routine without your shirt on or with just a white shirt, and you can't guess the number or card, but when you stand up the correct answer is visible on your back in big red "nail holes"...

Man, this is a fun one! I hope you try some of these, I'd love to see them myself.

-Reg {*}
Message: Posted by: CWMoss (Apr 3, 2004 12:37PM)
Lie down on the bed and it turns into one of those old vibrator beds from cheap motels.
Message: Posted by: avimagic (May 12, 2004 05:46PM)
[quote]
On 2004-02-21 22:30, spatrick wrote:
Go to the store and by about 100 Lee Press On Nails. Throw them onto a mattress and lay down. You are now on a bed of nails. Of course that act would need lots of "polish". You can say that you have wanted to do this since you saw your own father do it many years ago. You might say that you were "ingrown" to do it. Just don't get caught in the bed springs or you'll be a "hang nail". If you can get a sponsor to front you the money you can get a pro basketball team. It could be billed as "Nolan's Bed of Nails" Sponsored By The LA Clippers.

It's late and I get silly when I stay up late!!!

S. Patrick
[/quote]
What can I say? You really nailed that one!!!
Message: Posted by: MesmerEyes (Jun 9, 2004 10:57PM)
Yes, the previous post does need to be clipped and filed away. :bawl:

Getting up unharmed and then drinking some water and having it spray out of your body is a bit of a chestnut but would be incredible for a live audience.
Message: Posted by: kihei kid (Jun 10, 2004 05:19AM)
[quote]
On 2004-02-21 22:30, spatrick wrote:
Go to the store and by about 100 Lee Press On Nails. Throw them onto a mattress and lay down. You are now on a bed of nails. Of course that act would need lots of "polish". You can say that you have wanted to do this since you saw your own father do it many years ago. You might say that you were "ingrown" to do it. Just don't get caught in the bed springs or you'll be a "hang nail". If you can get a sponsor to front you the money you can get a pro basketball team. It could be billed as "Nolan's Bed of Nails" Sponsored By The LA Clippers.

It's late and I get silly when I stay up late!!!

S. Patrick
[/quote]
I hate to go “toe to toe” with you on this one, but you have not even “scratched” the surface. I’m glad you did not write anything “dirty”, I did get your “point” as you hit the “nail” on “the head”. If you try to come back at me with some others I’m sure we can “hammer” this out, until then I will not “drive” this post into the ground, as I felt I have “nailed” a few of my own. Until then I will keep “biting” my time…

Kid
Message: Posted by: duckster (Jun 24, 2004 03:27PM)
I wonder what Will Tell would say about this one???
Message: Posted by: The Village Idiots (Jun 24, 2004 04:00PM)
About the puns or the bed of nails?

I built a bed four years ago and created a routine with my stage partner. Seeing as your just laying on the bed it is hard to make it entertaining on your own. I have been fortunate to have Wally and the lovely Dottie to keep the entertainment level high.

I looked at it as a routine and not a gag. We milk 10 minutes or more out of it with all the standard stunts, because if it ain't broke??

It makes a great closer to a halloween show. I will say it never gets dull. Laying on the nails, having a sledge hammer swung at your chest. I lay there in disbelief at times.

I liked Reg Rozee' idea about the card revelation. Creative.

Will
Message: Posted by: Wizzy (Jun 24, 2004 05:26PM)
Unless you are doing a bigger stage show, and get enough time out of it, it does seem rather a big prop to carry about - on the other hand doing kids shows it could be a great deterrent.
Message: Posted by: Smudge (Jun 25, 2004 08:12PM)
What about a bed where the base is about 5 inches thick and the nails protrude about 4 inches but when you lie on the bed the nails retract back into the base so it looks like you really do it but as you get up they've all gone. sort of a sucker gag.
Message: Posted by: Daniel Santos (Jun 27, 2004 11:47PM)
[quote]
On 2004-02-22 17:18, Cabrera wrote:
Maybe you could make a bed of screws. The possibility for adult jokes would be pretty good
[/quote]

LOL! :D
Message: Posted by: ivfour (Jul 9, 2004 06:14PM)
Throw about 10 packages of Lee Press On Nails on the stage and toss a little pillow down. Hey, look I'm laying on a bed of nails.

This is easier than laying on my bed after my wife has cut her big toe nails.
??? TOO CORNY??? I TRIED
Message: Posted by: cpatchett (Jul 13, 2004 03:19AM)
[quote]
On 2004-06-24 16:27, duckster wrote:
I wonder what Will Tell would say about this one???
[/quote]
Or his sister, Dew Tell.

Anyway, the bed of nails is just begging for a line about today's multiple body piercing craze!

Craig
Message: Posted by: joseph (Jul 14, 2004 06:04AM)
Ok, ok, I get the point.....It's a sharp routine....