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Topic: Your Magician Might be a redneck if:
Message: Posted by: WR (Sep 1, 2004 11:05AM)
To go along with You might be a magician if...here is another one we put together.

Your Magician Might be a redneck if;

- His back ground music is a Hank Williams tune
- He had a spit cup on stage.
- His favorite trick is "Pull my finger."
- He has a Copenhagen ring on the back of his tux pants.
- People accuse him of lying through his tooth.
- Instead of live animals, he uses road kill.
- Most of his equipment is made from road cones and spools.
- His assistant is wearing cut offs and a halter top.
- Instead of a rabbit, he pulls a opossum out of his hat
- All of his cards say Coors or Budweiser on the back.
- Uses a Chain saw to cut a lady in half.
- His parole officer is in the audience.
- Instead of a milk can escape he uses a keg.
- He is billed as Bubba the Great.
- He does the bullet catch with a sawed off shot gun.
- Instead of a rope escape he uses duct tape.
- His stomach hangs 5 inches over his belt.
- For a grand finale he pulls a rabbit from behind his belt buckle.
- All of his props are painted primer gray.
- His top hat says John Deer on the front.
- All his magic supplies are from the dollar store.
- His zippers don't have teeth either.
- His big escape is from a sleeper hold.
- Uses a stuffed deer head at least twice in him act.
- He has Houdini tattooed on his arm.
- If his big debut show was the prison rodeo.
- If, for his grand finale, he levitates the rear end of a beat up '75 Camaro to the proper height for "cruising"
- If he uses the word "supposably" in his patter
- His card to wallet has a chain on it
- If he refers to the other side of the stage as "yonder"
- If his two assistants are Daryl and his other brother Daryl
- His exit theme is the music from the end of the Beverly Hillbillies, "Ya'll come back now,Y'hear"
-His tie is made of leather, silver and turquoise
-He has a Bud Light pool table light hanging over his table
-He has STP stickers on his magic table
-He steals Toilet paper from the restroom before the show
-He takes beer and jerky as payment for a show
-If he has ever done a show at the Waffle House
-If he dips snuff during his show
- His Shirt has no sleeves.
- He keeps saying "this one I learned in the Joint."
- He has him mother as an assistant and callers her honey.
- He is in a hurry "Cus' I gotta get home fer wresting."
- He says "I got dis one outta Outdoor Life."
- He smokes during the entire show
- He has a can of "Bud" on his platform.
- He has ever eaten one of his Doves or Rabbits
- He thinks sleeving is something you do when you have a cold
- He thinks he has to disrobe to do a stripper deck
- He looses a thumb tip wile picking his nose
- He thinks the Vernon Chronicles is a PBS special
- He thinks the square circle is a good ol' boy's bar
- He thinks the mis-made flag is something Betsy Ross Did stoned
- He thinks Twisted Sister is some girls he used to know
- He thinks the Needle through the Arm is something done by a clumsy Seamstress
- He thinks an egg bag is an old lady who raises chickens
- He thinks a false cut is a noise made under your arm pit using your hand
- He thinks Copper & Silver was an episode of America's most wanted
- He says that the Multiplying Rabbits is just an act of nature
- He Thinks the French Arm chopperis something he saw on home shopping network for $19.99
- He thinks Bro. John Hamman might be the name of the guy who plays the organ in church on Sundays...
- If he has ever doubled the tail gate of your truck as a close up table/wet bar.
- If he has ever vanished a coin into a bandana that was previously wrapped around your head and covered with a cowboy hat.
- If you have ever performed shot glass surprise repeatedly until you amazingly vanish your dignity and or consciousness.
- If he has ever opened for a Hank Williams Jr concert.
- If the coin He pulled out of your ear was sticky
- If he has blown your nose on his silks
- He broke your arm doing the Arm twisting illusion
- He pulls road kill out of a hat
- He can't perform card to wallet because the chain is too short.
- He can't do a book test because he doesn’t know how to read "them big ol' words."
- He does a spirit box effect using an Out House.
- He does multiplying Rocky Mt. Oysters.

WR
Message: Posted by: ed rhodes (Sep 2, 2004 09:38AM)
[quote]
On 2004-09-01 12:05, WR wrote:
To go along with You might be a magician if...here is another one we put together.

Your Magician Might be a redneck if;

[/quote]

He makes a car appear on stage... and it's on blocks!
Message: Posted by: Rob Johnston (Sep 2, 2004 12:59PM)
Torn and Restored Mullett?
Message: Posted by: amadrigal (Sep 3, 2004 05:56AM)
On 2004-09-01 12:05, WR wrote:
To go along with You might be a magician if...here is another one we put together.

Your Magician Might be a redneck if;
-------------------------------------------------------
His silks double as a gas cap.
His tux is made by Carhart
Message: Posted by: Bob Sanders (Sep 5, 2004 10:25PM)
A double lift is puttin' the truck up two blocks high.

His Idea of box magic is Chicken to Mule.

His favorite money trick is dollar bill in a tater.

He thinks PH.D. stands for Post Hole Digger.

He thinks a handkerchief pull requires a team of mules.

Went to the hardware store to learn how to pick a card

Thought a Zig-Zag was a Cigarette paper (Oops! Viet Nam)

Produced the doves and rabbit fried

Thinks running moonshine is drivers' ed

Voted twice last time so he won't have to go back

Can tell a Revenuer from a Game Warden by running speed

Knows which side of the road to hunt road kill after a full moon

Buys ammunition before every wedding

NASA is just a fad; NASCAR is here forever

If he asks you to clap to the banjo music during his routine

Gotta quit and slop the hogs. See ya later!


Bob
Bubba Whodini
Bubba@AmazedWiz.com
Home of the Cut and restored Water melon
There's a possum in your future!
Message: Posted by: amadrigal (Oct 1, 2004 02:44AM)
Your balloon animals have tabacco spit in them :smoke:
You use spit cups and balls :cups:
Message: Posted by: Phil Thomas (Oct 5, 2004 11:14PM)
If he classic palms coins while taking a poop :lol:
Message: Posted by: Julie (Oct 6, 2004 01:01PM)
...if his pea can is real! :)
Message: Posted by: WR (Oct 13, 2004 11:50AM)
HAHAHA!! thanks for The additional ones.
WR
Message: Posted by: Phil Thomas (Oct 13, 2004 07:34PM)
If he has ever produced a dove and then shot it.
If his magic wand is a socket wrench.
Instead of pulling a rabbit out of a top hat, he pulls a possum out of a John Deer Hat.
His metamorphosis trunk is an old bath tub.
He thinks "palming" will make you go blind. :lol:
Message: Posted by: DamienT98 (Oct 16, 2004 04:49PM)
He introduces his magic assitant as his sister and then refers to her later on in the evening as "mom".
Message: Posted by: Scruffy the Clown (Oct 19, 2004 07:36AM)
His substitution trunk is '73 gremlin.
Message: Posted by: RonCalhoun (Oct 20, 2004 11:47AM)
Hey guys, I doubt if most of you know this buy what your doing is often called "brainstorming". Go back and look over this post. I bet you can find 10 to 15 great ideas for a magic show presented at a county or state fair.
Message: Posted by: Slim Price (Oct 24, 2004 01:28AM)
A double lift is puttin' the truck up two blocks high.

His Idea of box magic is Chicken to Mule.

His favorite money trick is dollar bill in a tater.

He thinks PH.D. stands for Post Hole Digger.

He thinks a handkerchief pull requires a team of mules.

Went to the hardware store to learn how to pick a card

Thought a Zig-Zag was a Cigarette paper (Oops! Viet Nam)

Produced the doves and rabbit fried

Thinks running moonshine is drivers' ed

Voted twice last time so he won't have to go back

Can tell a Revenuer from a Game Warden by running speed

Knows which side of the road to hunt road kill after a full moon

Buys ammunition before every wedding

NASA is just a fad; NASCAR is here forever

If he asks you to clap to the banjo music during his routine

Gotta quit and slop the hogs. See ya later!
Message: Posted by: Margarette (Oct 25, 2004 11:47AM)
A keg escape.....hey, that gives me an idea!!! I can identify with Gretchen Wilson!

Margarette
Message: Posted by: andrew martin (Oct 26, 2004 08:36AM)
LOL!!!
Very funny WR
And others

WR may I use some of them??
Message: Posted by: WhiteAngel (Oct 31, 2004 08:30PM)
Ahem, I'm from West Virgiania, home of the rednecks, lol. I like this one really well:

His favorite money trick is dollar bill in a tater. Oh yeah, and the keg escape was first preformed by my granny, lol.
Message: Posted by: MDS (Oct 31, 2004 10:22PM)
These are great.

"your magician might be a redneck if, he has a show that is mobile and six vans that aren't.
Message: Posted by: RonCalhoun (Nov 15, 2004 12:02PM)
How do you get a redneck magician off your front porch?






...pay for the pizza.
Message: Posted by: MB! (Nov 19, 2004 05:27PM)
[quote]
On 2004-10-19 08:36, Scruffy the Clown wrote:
His substitution trunk is '73 gremlin.
[/quote]
Hey I own one of them...
MB!
Message: Posted by: kihei kid (Nov 24, 2004 01:47AM)
He doesn’t bother removing the Marlboro from his mouth while telling a heckler to kiss his ***.
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Nov 24, 2004 07:13PM)
He thinks a double lift is holding a can of Budweiser in each hand. (Or Iron City if you're from Pgh.)

*******

Thinks a Hindu Shuffle is some sort of square dance "them folks do over there"!

*******

He thinks an Ambitious Card Routine is when
his wife/cousin goes out shopping with his credit card.
Message: Posted by: Phil Thomas (Nov 26, 2004 07:05PM)
If his milk pitcher has XXX on the front of it. *hiccup* :cheers:
Message: Posted by: dlcmagic (Nov 26, 2004 08:18PM)
Thinks that Thurston was that rich dude
on Gilligans Island!

He thinks a top change is when he puts a new
cap on the back of his Chevy pickup truck.