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Rod Lages Loyal user Brasilia, Brazil 250 Posts |
This was one of the David Letterman Top Ten Lists...
TOP TEN MAGICIAN PET PEEVES! 10. Stores who don't accept change pulled from people's ears 9. You've got a cold and all your handkerchiefs keep turning into doves 8. When plumber says, "You're the magician, you unclog it" 7. Due to screw up at magic shop you pull a rabbit out of your hat 6. It's lonely on the road and most nights you end up "palming it" 5. Two words: cape rash 4. You mumble, "Abracadabra" in your sleep -- when you wake up your furniture is GONE 3. ACCIDENTALLY saw ONE woman in half and you're suspended 2. When you do your mind-reading trick, all you seem to get is "Magicians SUCK" 1. Your girlfriend leaves you for a magician with a bigger wand! Have a great time reading this! Best Regards, Rod Lages
"Confusion isn't Magic" - Dai Vernon
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DavidKenney Inner circle 2178 Posts |
The Top 17 Things Heard at a Magic Convention
17."Hey, good-lookin', how about a little mutual prestidigitation?" 16."Now watch closely, my dear, as I say the magic word...Viagracadabra!" 15."One time I actually *did* make a rabbit disappear into thin air-- but I was on crack at the time." 14."Wait a minute... you mean there's a *book* named 'David Copperfield'? Why didn't somebody tell me years ago!?! Oh, man, do I feel dumb." 13."One time, at band camp, I made a flute disappear." 12."The first, second and third Mrs. Gingriches really swear by that eye of Newt thing!" 11."He *must* be one of us. He made the entire dessert cart disappear." 10."And the award for best escape artist award goes to... The Great Clintoni and his lovely assistant, Ms. Reno!" 9."Will the owner of a green Lincoln Navigator please come to the information desk? Your vehicle has turned into a frog." 8."Nothing up his sleeve. For that matter, there's nothing in his pants, either." 7."Thanks, Governor, but we've seen your 'vanishing history of drug abuse' trick already." 6."Who was that woman I sawed you with last night?" 5."I told you to hire *Penn* for $100,000 to do the keynote speech, NOT Teller!" 4."I'm here for the David Copperfield Supermodel Hypnosis seminar." 3."The 'Magnificent' Mancini, my @$$. Let me tell you, his hand ain't the ONLY thing quicker than the eye." 2."Okay, Mandrake, that's $20 for straight-up, $30 for around the world, and an extra $50 if you wanna saw me in half." and the Number 1 Thing Heard at a Magic Convention... 1."For my next trick, I will make the pain, bitterness and humiliation of a failed career in show business disappear, using only this fifth of vodka." |
Ross W Inner circle UK 1778 Posts |
viagracadabra1!!
Could use with a breakaway wand...or is this an old gag... |
metaphyzix Regular user 129 Posts |
haha, that David Letterman... kinda makes you wonder, has magic gotten that predictable? (#10, 9, 3) anyway, my favorite is #6.. hi-larious...
I'm more of a Conan O'Brien fan myself though. |
Steve Friedberg Inner circle 1402 Posts |
hey Rod...
Actually, #7 should read, "Due to mix up at magic shop, you pull a rabbi out of your hat."
Cheers,
Steve "A trick does not fool the eyes, but fools the brain." -- John Mulholland |
Rod Lages Loyal user Brasilia, Brazil 250 Posts |
Letterman is a very funny guy. I was wondering, how does he come up with ideas like that...
Hey Steve, nobody is perfect, right? The Top 17 Things Heard at a Magic Convention, numbers 7, 5 and 4 are hilarious! Best Regards, Rod Lages
"Confusion isn't Magic" - Dai Vernon
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Steve Friedberg Inner circle 1402 Posts |
Rod:
How does he come up with ideas like that? Good writers, that's how! As for the typo, Rod...hey, no harm, no foul.
Cheers,
Steve "A trick does not fool the eyes, but fools the brain." -- John Mulholland |
Neznarf Inner circle NY then AZ now 1840 Posts |
Funny Stuff Rod and David
"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
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Review King Eternal Order 14446 Posts |
***, that's funny!!!!
"Of all words of tongue and pen,
the saddest are, "It might have been" ..........John Greenleaf Whittier |
Tony S Special user New York 582 Posts |
Funny stuff!
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