I never know what to write on office birthday cards, for people I barely know. Any ideas?

Happy Birthday... thingy.

Glad you were born so you could be here and ease my workload.

Back when I held a real job for a leading hotel, we celebrated everyone's birthday like no one's business. When you have 70 something people in the same dept. or floor, there's a frickin' birthday every other day.

This would of been fine with me had they not made a habit of going around collecting $. Yeah $.

One day, a supervisor approached me and said they were buying the Vice-Pres. a bottle of some expensive booze. I said that was fine and assured her he would appreciate it since it was his favorite.

She said they had already taken a collection and were still some $70 short. Turned out to be a real big size and expensive quality. I reminded her that it should be evidence that they decided to buy him something outside of the budget? She didn't want to hear that. Heck, she was probably sleeping with him for all I know and was determined to make him coo over the expensive gift which she eventually handed to him during a meeting.

I walked over to the VP office and told him I had just been approached for cash to buy him his "Happy Birthday Gift". He quickly replied that a simple card would actually be worth more to him.

I went on about the people under him making under 35K a year and barely making it on that. And finally told him the only way I was going to buy him booze was in his dreams.

Finally I told him "Hell some of these people need all the money they can get their hands on to buy their own booze to forget about this place".

I honestly hated that posh office and about 98.9% of those who worked there.

Anyway, Josh, don't just write "Happy Birthday". Write at least five or six lines wishing him/her the very best in years to come and how special they are Make them a friend if possible.

God I hated those pretentious, over-perfumed,cologned,big hair,too much make-up,insincere,day fresh haircut,fake,clueless,back-stabbing,vice president *ss kising,pea soup spewing snakes.

Just worthless!

Made for each other and deserving of their environment, I sure hope they're still in that hell hole or similar.

Someone wrote the following in my high school yearbook, and I never forgot it. I've used it on similar occasions as you mention:


Can't think.
Brain dumb.
Inspiration won't come.
Bad ink.
Bum pen.
Best wishes, amen!


Simple, but effective.

Carrie

Do you care to give us your interpretation of that? Simple? Not for all. Effective? Not if they don't get it.

How old are you if your years only have 140 days?

TGS

The guy I worked with at the magic shop here used to trade Christmas cards with another magician, and they would often try to out do each other for cheapness. A common transaction was crossing out the name of a previous sender and "re-gifting" the card. But the best came to my friend in the form of a poem, not unlike that which Carrie Sue gave us. It was written on a hunk of cardboard torn from a box, and read:

Money's tight
Times are hard
But, here's your ***ed old Christmas card.

You see, it's forums like this that sometimes give me the right ideas for the perfect gift for the right person. I love that one.