Magician??? What kind of instrument do you play? LOL

Bond

I just pat my 1/4 keg sized belly and use a line from Jed Clampett: "We're eatin' regular."

I love the turn around question!

The thing I get the most is when people find out I work one night a week. With travel it is two days but they don't see it that way. They then ask what else I do and I say "I'm semi retired so I spend most of my time at home with my family." Then they ask if it pays the bills and I respond humbly "We get by."

I also like the "IRS or just nosing around"

You guys have some funny stuff for stupid questions. I enjoy having stock answers in my back pocket. It makes people realize you hear that stuff all the time.

I'm not afraid to be crass...

Them: Can you make a living at that?

Me: if you call 100k a year making a living...

Them: Oh.

End of conversation.