I have heard "can you make my wife dissappear"

it has also been said refering to, kids, husband,...etc.

There *is* a hole in it.

By the number of comments you've posted in this thread it sounds like you could do with a little work. No offense.

Perhaps some people are more honest than others. Even famous and experienced performers were once rookies and can remember incidents from 'way back when. No offense.

No offense taken. Those incidents happened more than 35 years ago when I was still a rookie. Many of those incidents that happened can still be fresh in my mind eventhough it happened umpteen years ago.

This embarrassing comment was from me, not an audience member:

Often when doing close-up magic, I'll use the line "nothing up my sleeves, except my arms." Last week I approached a group of teens, started doing the magic, and made this comment as I caught the eye of one of the girls. Unfortunately, the line was no sooner out of my mouth when I noticed that the girl was missing an arm.

Open mouth, exchange foot, move on.

Brian

Something like that feels terrible, but usually the "victim" understands it was said in innocence, I think.

When I bring out a deck I sometimes get "I know that one." REALLY?!? Which "one" am I getting ready to do?

Once upon a time, a strange lady bestowed herself in front of the audience with a borrowed seat that was moved from the back row. And she proclaimed her hate for the entertainer even though she had not been acquainted with him. Darts shotith out of her eyes, as he set up. And he was unassuming, thinking to himself,,, self, this is going to be a good show except for that odd lady who I will have to deal with and probably make her sorry she came today..... and his wish was granted.

Clearing her throat, she did, until the nice magician couldn't help but notice her, try as he could..... and she uttered words that will never be forgotten nor should have been imparted in the first place.... and she saidith upon the entertainer ..... as only a disturbed soul could....... she scowled "I hear you're supposed to be funny... I'm probably funnier then you are.... I'm probably a lot funnier then you...........Ok... let's go Mr funny guy, lets go. lets see how funny you are".

And the entertainer embarked on a mission of mercy. One that would rid the audience of the pest before the program commenced. It was therefore a necessary evil to destroy one soul to save 30 and he would do it again if the occasion ever arises.

Without going into specifics... within 5 minutes she left the room and never came back...
I wonder if it was something I said?

What did you say?

I was asked... Can you cut my wife in half?
I said yes but you will end up with the half that talks.

I went to the cinema once and sat right at the front.
This guy came up and said I was in his chair.
I told him I wasnt moving.
he replied. Well you play the organ when it comes up then.

Those silent movies were great. lol