So I was watching a 'little person' headbutt a guy in the crotch this morning and it got me thinking.
All of these groups have their own PC labels (which some of the groups hate, by the way.) And I got a little jealous. So I want a PC label. The problem is that I am a mutt, so I need several.
1. I'm part Irish. This one was the easiest:
From this day forth I shall be called "Inebriated American."

2. I am part Melungeon. There are not many stereotypes for this ethnicity outside of the Appalachians. I'm guessing that most of you have never heard of a Melungeon, and even amongst Melungeons nobody seems to be able to agree on what it is.
For these reasons, my people shall now be called "Imaginary Americans."

3. I am part Norwegian. This was so hard. A Viking term? Something about pickled herring or Lutefisk? What could I use?
Then it hit me: "Abdominal definitionally impaired." Cumbersome? Good, that's how PC should be.

If somebody has something better for Norwegians I may be willing to replace this one.

Until then, if I am referred to as anything other than these three terms, or "Creature American," I will be contacting my attorney about the hate crime.

Aw... my italics didn't take

You are bbcodically challenged.

You are Norskymelungish.

Very few of them left, ya know. Most died by eating bad fish, drinking too much, or possom poisoning.

Usually, all at once. Careful!

I saw a documentary where they interviewed some 'regular' Appalachian folk who claimed that Melungeons were "Like bigfeet" and "Cannibals."
Suffice it to say, I only cannibalize during Lent.