I got a call today from a relatively close by company for a job interview for Thursday...if I can afford three gallons of gas (for you Canadians that would be 1.543 O'clock celcius) to get there! Ya! What interested me was of the, say, six jobs I applied for the other day this was the one I was least qualified for. The ones that I could walk in the door doing have no interest. I'm talking to the fellow and he makes the comment "I see you are still at AT&T"...I am not and told him so and it took a bit of wind out of his sails but I already wow'd him w/ my knowledge of the ERP system they use. This proved to me what I fully believe....companies do not want to hire unemployed people they want to take people from other companies. So people are like coins in a counter, the go round and round from job to job, doing none wel, then they hit the hole and, viola, unemployed. Doesn't matter that companies fire everyone, the fact they are not working means they suck and thus misfits who have not been laid off are better!

So this is what I am looking for. A fake company that used me as a consultant to fill the void I was not working and am not working. The perspective employer may email but the only real response they can expect is "xxx worked for us from X to X as a XXX and still does". This makes me a more hire-able person! If anyone can do this I am not looking for anyone to vouch that I have skills I don't but you get the picture. Any takers?

See, that should be your new career. Providing fake references for OTHER unemployed people from the comfort of your own home. Like these guys:

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/fake-job-......=8401993

http://careerexcuse.com

I'd help but, being in Canada and all, given my schedule, and lack of knowledge regarding your industry, it probably wouldn't work.

I thought about starting a reference business, see, no great ideas stand alone. Hey, all they need to be told is that you worked for them, how long, and how and title. Refusing to say anything else is the norm.

Note that I do not need references just a gap fill. My references are an exec level director at one of the largest tech companies in the world, a manager at a major broker house, and a chick in Boston. My problem is they *** companies want to hire people who HAVE jobs already not those that don't. I don't. Not one of my references has ever been contacted by an employer.

Santa. You should do Stand Up Comedy. With the cursing and all...

God knows you already have enough material just from your posts here on the Café...

Hmm...this should knock some steam out of any ethics posts you may have in the future. You want someone to enter into a conspiracy with you to defraud your future employer. Have I got that right?

So whats it pay?

Yes! Tom so gets me (what word was ***'s?). Actually there is no fraud. I have dumbed down my resume to the point where I appear human and everthing is absolutely true and correct. My references are actual business references, none which I have any social relationship with. My attempt is to benefit any future employer because they can't seem to pull their heads out of their behinds. HR Recruiters ask canned questions from a seminar they attended called "How to hire"....no thinking outside of the box for those folks....not them. Know the result? You see the SAME jobs open at the SAME company every couple months because rather than hire an experienced transportation manager for next to nothing because he isn't working but they hire some guy who's entire experience is once signing for a box from Ebay at McDonalds. That can't handle the job, quits or gets fired, then rather talk to people, again, who can do the job they hire someone who carried the fries from the reefer to the fry station at Jack in the Box because he has a job so he must have something going on...then he is gone in three months.

I did consulting by the way. One guy who was happy to talk to companies passed away from cancer, sadly, the other main one had a family member get into public trouble and has vanished from any stranger calls. The others want to be left confidential.

So tell me...how am I defrauding when I need away around their beliefs which don't apply w/ a 15% unemployment rate as we have here.

So, you up for it Tom?

Well, if you'da hit me during my more scammy years, I would have had you covered in an instant. I once almost (really close type of almost) started "Gertie's Receipts Company" Any receipt for any amount for any product, choose 101 different letterheads/receipts/companies...$20 each.

Coulda made a small fortune.

Now, I'm too busy, too frazzled and can't get my own projects going. Sorry.

Get over to the Psychic side of the Café and have some readers give you projections for the future...it'll take your mind off your troubles.

Good luck. You've constructed a blame for not getting hired that may or may not apply to reality. Faking employment may slide by forever, or may bite you in the *** later on. You are probably correct in assuming the idjits will never check. Never the less....

I know a Jorgenson in the South Bay....hmmmm..... my goal is, again, to give the perception that the company is stealing from another.

He hasn't "constructed" anything. It's been established that unemployed people are passed over in favor of someone employed who is looking to change employers.

Well, obviously someone's head is up a dark place, cause I've always found that if you hire the hungry, they work better, longer and are more loyal.

I rescind my 'You've constructed...' thing. I hired and fired for awhile and found people wanting to transfer over were usually expecting to get fired soon from their old job...and were pretty much more than worthless, demanding and too much trouble. Hungry people, who'd been scrambling for awhile, were grateful and worked much better. Then again, I wasn't in a 'corporate' world. Different rules of thumb?

Anyway, the Good Luck stands. Tho, it would be a shame to land a good job and get nailed in the future over the filled-in gap.

TY, Only becomes an issue if you claim to know how to do something that you do not.

Years ago, mid 80s, my old company had a guy come in to interview for a position as a tech. My late bestest friend interviewed him and found his knowledge amazing and hired him. Brian, my pal, and I were maurading the halls and popped into the indoctrination to say 'howdy'. We look in and Brian says "who the hell is that?"...the HR gal walked by and looked and and she says "Who the h-e-double hockey sticks is that?". What happened was the community from Asia these folks came from had set up a thing where Mr. X would apply for a job and go to the interview (the valley was begging for people back then), get hired, then for get paid $1200 and the guy who hired 'em would go in and take the job! Many got away w/ it because companies would tolerate a lot and just train 'em. In this case the guy who showed up had zero knowledge of the field and spoke no English....so relatively speaking...

Okay. I made one change to my resume and that was rather than putting that I consulted I put I consulted in association with an actual company (thank you to the person who let me use them as a front). No false claims of experience or anything, just a place that they can see listed on the resume and if they call the response will be that they did have me as a consultant and that is about it. My last interview before this change was last August so here is the break down:

Sept 2010 to Feb 10:
Total interviews: zero

Feb 10 to Feb 22:
Total interviews: four

Hmmmmm.....interesting isn't it? Not only have I triggered more interviews but one of them was a company that failed to respond to my applications before but now suddenly I qualify enough to be talked to.

Of those four interviews:
1. One was a job offer, temp to perm, QA Inspector for a military supplier. The pay was too low and commute too long to justify taking it.

2. I call tomorrow on this one and it looks very good for taking over their QA position which they have not filled for months after the guy left and things have fallen apart. This would be good pay for this area and also it would be an interesting field, they refurbish railroad cars. Trains are cool.

3. This was neat because I applied for a job that would be extremely challenging (for anyone) and researched the company and regulations relating to them, I went in absolutely ready to answer any question about that business. Only problem was the call I received was from someone who pulled my resume (new one) off of Monster (never had that happen before) who was down the street in the same little area as the one I applied. So I go into this place with no sign to interview and she is asking questions about one subject and I'm forming all my responses to show my knowledge of the other company! We quickly realized that neither one of us had a clue what the other was talking about. She and I got along great after that and while the companies owner isn't sure he wants to hire someone while the guy who runs the place does I am in line to get it if they decide to go with it. The pay is pretty bad buttttt the commute is more than half of the other jobs. On the negative my wife doesn't like me hanging out at the brothels which are also on the same street. Hey! Those girls are nice and we have a lot in common, we both do tricks!

4. Interview coming up in my field of expertise. Large printing company and would be the best of all of them as far as work environment, benefits, and most likely pay, problem is tack on another hour of commute time a day. We will see.....

So thar ya have it. Coincidence? Maybe. So far my belief that companies do not want to hire unemployed people is looking to be accurate.

Change your tune an octive. You are or just were Self Employed as a technician/Consultant and the current biz climate forces you to return to the work place as an employee. Have a few biz cards made...be glad to help you there. You will not be scamming anybody as you are capable and experienced and willing enough to do freelance work...if there was any.

Current Employer: Self. Case closed. Worked for me many times, especially in situations (a bunch) where the company I just had worked for went out of biz. (none my fault haha) So I know it works.

I went the 'self employed' route and they were not biting with a third party company shown they are. They like to see that company name here. Thank you for the tip though....hey, I have your Ripleys comic as my wall paper on the computer!

Hmmm...worked every time for me...maybe because I was so desireable.

Usually does. Where I live I think it is so common to be self employed that they don't buy into it.