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Papasmurf Special user NW Ont Canada 540 Posts |
RIP Pillsbury
Dear Friends: It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following: The Pillsbury Doughboy died Monday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded". Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man, he was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought he'd rise once again, but he was no tart. Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two children, and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. |
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Papasmurf Special user NW Ont Canada 540 Posts |
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange. In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune. In a cemetery in England: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me. - To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent, Until I know which way you went In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go. |
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Godzilla Inner circle Tied & Untied Witches on 5316 Posts |
Breaking News :
Ellen Degeneres was found dead today. Cause of death, is a suspected drowning ! She was found face down in Ricki Lake !
"If you watch Godzilla backwards, it's about a big ass lizard who helps rebuild a half burnt-down city, then moonwalks back into the ocean"
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scottasf Regular user san leandro, ca 157 Posts |
On Rodney Dangerfield's headstone at the Westwood Village mortuary: Well there goes the neighborhood.
2008/2009 President Oakland Magic Circle
"Life would be so wonderful if we only knew what to do with it." - Greta Garbo |
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scottasf Regular user san leandro, ca 157 Posts |
On Mel Blanc's headstone at the Hollywood Forever Cemetary: "That's all, folks!"
2008/2009 President Oakland Magic Circle
"Life would be so wonderful if we only knew what to do with it." - Greta Garbo |
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weepinwil Inner circle USA 3828 Posts |
I love to pretend I put the deceased's cell phone in the casket and then ring the spouses number a week later....
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
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chrismatt Special user Why would you read any of my 978 Posts |
Well then, the agnostic's tombstone says: "I'm going to the Great Perhaps."
W.C. Fields, a well-known agnostic, was reportedly seen reading the Bible in his hospital bed shortly before he expired. When asked why, he replied: "I'm looking for a loophole!" My uncle, in fact, ran a funeral home. The sign over his desk said: "I'd be last person to let you down." CM
Details make perfection, but perfection is no detail.
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Lefebure Loyal user Lille, France 202 Posts |
I love : "Life goes on without me" On Louis Prima's grave.
It is also said that the french writer Francis Blanche hated so much his wife at the end of his life that he told her once : "I will make write on your stone AT LAST SHE IS COLD" and his wife answered him: "on your, I will make write AT LAST HE IS STIFF". I hope my translation in english is good. It's pretty fun in french, so... |
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keeblem Inner circle Essex, UK 1167 Posts |
On a gravestone somewhere: Owen Moore has gone away; Owing more than he can pay.
My grandfather was very ill. My grandmother rubbed butter on his back. After that he went downhill rapidly. Mark |
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Marlowe Regular user MA 162 Posts |
Three men come to the pearly gates..
St.Peter asks each of them what they hope people will say about them at their funerals First guy says 'I hope they say what a great doctor and philanthropist I was.' Second guy says 'I hope they say what a great husband and father I was.' Third guy says 'I hope they say.. Look! He's Moving! |
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