I'm at the moment dealing with bipolar/depression,anxiety,social phobias and everthing else that relates.
I'm just looking for encouraging stories of others who suffer,or has suffered,from depression, but become successful with in their magic carreers.

Thank you


-Roach

****became successful.

I have what the psychiatrists believe is bipolar disorder. I'm still new to magic but I strongly believe it's helping me. When I'm depressed it motivates me, when I'm manic it calms me. It's incredibly positive to be constantly practically improving - to sit down with my copy of Card College for half and hour and learn something new. I don't know about others, but small steady goals can be so beneficial to me.

I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling - it does, and will get better and I think it's awesome you've got something you're working for. PM me if you'd like to talk.

M
x

Hey Gypsy, Im sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I suffer from depression and there is know doubt that you need a focus in your life, a love, to keep you motivated. Also don't put pressure on yourself mate. Embrace the failures and learn from them and just keep plugging away.

Also you need other things in your life so don't forget your friends or other interests. It does get easier but you have a lot of issues so it will take extra strength but you can do it, and the joy of performing and giving joy to others will help you out.

Take care mate DS

Ok, you asked for it!

Every year right about now I want to quit. This is the beginning of my busiest season, and thoughts of failure, fatigue, depression, not good enough, can’t pull it off, not enough finances, everything you can imagine hit me all at the same time.

But now I know that it’s cyclical. By the time I finish casting and start having rehearsals with this season’s crew, I’ll be back in stride. “Whipping” my team into shape (there are always some new guys, plus many who have been with me for years) will create a camaraderie that turn all the hours into play time.

Then the first time you do your close and the whole crowd rises to their feet in a standing ovation, MAN! I mean, there’s no drug in the world that can get you higher than that! It doesn’t matter if you’re the only performer on stage, or the director taking bows for his troop of players, the RUSH is on!

I only learned a few years ago what Asperger’s Syndrome was. It explained a lot of what was going on throughout my whole life. The study of Mentalism has actually helped me to connect with other people more clearly than ever before. Once you know that most people are feeling and thinking the same sorts of things, it becomes much less intimidating.

I was always comfortable in front of a crowd, because I knew that there were only so many things that could possibly happen, and I practiced for them ALL (not joking!) But one-on-one, I had no idea what they’d say, so I had no idea what I’d say; I couldn’t rehearse, so I practiced hundreds of “scenarios” to try and be prepared for a single conversation. I was terrified! And you can’t get to the crowds if you can’t talk to ONE.

It does get better. Practice helps: doing the things that scare you. If it’s talking to people, then put yourself into a spot where you can’t avoid talking. Yes, it’ll be clumsy and awkward, but YOU WON’T DIE! That’s really the most important lesson: you’ll survive. And if you try it again, you won’t make some of the same mistakes (you’ll make NEW ones! ) And you still won’t die.

I’m not saying it will ever become easy, but you will get better at it. Just keep doing it.

Another important lesson is in “reframing” the thing that scares you. This applies more in the context of stage fright, but it works for everything else, as well. When you realize that what you’re calling “fear” is nothing more than a simple fight-or-flight response, that the adrenaline is there to help you perform, make you quicker, sharper, and stronger than normal, then you can learn how to adapt to the changes in your body when it happens. You’ll come to see that the “feeling” is exactly the same “rush” that makes a roller-coaster exciting. You’ll actually be looking for your next high, like an adrenaline junkie. That’s when it gets to be REALLY fun!

I’d still rather walk on glass than talk to a real person (as opposed to a spectator or an assistant or a helper), but I’ve learned that I have to do it to succeed, and that I CAN do it if I have to.

Learn to use the “support system” you have. If that means family and friends you may have to discuss expectations and boundaries. Sometimes they want to love you, but don’t know how.

If you have a magician or group of magician friends, that’s even better; they’ll know exactly where you’re coming from. Most of the mages I know are totally inept in a personal situation. Many have learned how to deal, so you’d never know it. (Some actually don’t even realize what boobs they are!)

If it’s nothing but The Magic Café, then learn to use that. You’ll meet ALL KINDS of personalities here. Some are naturally grumpy and that’s good practice for you. Some are very generous and go out of their way to help. Still others swing from one to the other like a bipolar monkey on a rope bridge.

Just remember that you are not alone. More of us suffer the same kinds of feelings you have than will ever talk about it in a forum like this. Just do what you have to do, and don’t stop ever.

Best of luck to you, Gypsy Prince (first thing I’d do is change that handle, RICH!)

I know he is not known as a magician (although he is apparently a hobbyist), but I think you may enjoy Stephen Fry's autobiographies (Moab is my washpot, and the Fry chronicles) - he relates his memories as a performer with this condition.

Good luck - all the best,
J

If you have made it this far in life, **you** are successful!!

It's one thing to look at someone else who's made it and say "I want to be like them." The problem is that easliy morphs from a goal into a task-master. Nothing feeds depression like the fears and feelings of failure, but that's what you get when you are constantly looking at other people success rather than your own.

And make it personal and "in the moment". Today, doing a show might be a 10 on the success meter; tomorrow, it might simply be getting out of bed and calling a friend. If you are determined to live with your face pointed forward and your feet in as much motion as is fitting for today, if you are determined that you will examine obstacles to find out how to deal with them rather than cow to your imagination, then **you** are successful.

It's not always easy. At least you have a name and a diagnosis for your personal difficulties. Some of us "normals" deal with many of the same fears and phobias. It's all about grabbing as much of life as you can handle today and enjoying that much, and letting go of whatever you can get at right now. Not always easy, but it sure beats the black hole!

Ed

G'day Roach
Some helpful reflections above - I like to keep in touch with the big picture and take one day at a time.
The names people get assigned can be helpful in understanding what is behind our feelings - but in the end everyone is unique and has potential to achieve success (however that is perceived).
My label is Post Traumatic Stress and my daily experience involves a mix of depression and anxiety (and a lot of other things as well - many of them much more enjoyable).
For me - I am enjoying developing a career in performing magic and tend to enjoy new things - so every performance fits into that category - new people and experiences.
Gradually reaching goals like Megan mentioned also works well for me too.

Thanks for raising this topic.

Bob Latta (aka Troppo Bob)

First off I just want to say thank you all for replying .
I did not think I would get a reply truthfully,which would been ok .
It's cool seeing that there are others out there who understand.
I appreciate all the encouragement .
Encouragement is actually something I'm laking in my life.
Even though I'm laking in encouragement self- esteem,brain cells and a good smile , I'm going to keep a hold on hope and faith .

I just get discouraged , because I know my mind is not as quick as it was before my depression and cycling
So the dream of becoming a good performing magician feels like it's impossible for me. But again I will keep a hold on faith and hope.

Thank you

I took up magic to help with my social phobia, and particularly speaking in public. To cut a long story short, I was so scared to have to speak in public a few years ago that I would rather die.

Taking up magic 8 years ago has helped me through the issue, and now I control the nerves, they don't control me. The rush is worth it!

I took up magic for fun. Then I realized I could make money at it. Now I know that it has helped me in so many ways. I don't have a problem talking in large groups. I can take control when most others shy away from it. I don't have a fear of failure.

Magic can help in so many ways and so many levels.

No!! It would NOT have been okay!
You are just as worth an answer as any of us!
Meds will only help lift the cloud long enough to grasp this.
But you must grab hold of this and cling to it for dear life.
You are a person worthy of respect, common courtesy, and love.
Know this, think this, embrace this, live this.
There will be times the darkness falls on you; with this, you can continue to live.

Ed

Wow! I want to say Amen! (and not in jest!)

This is excellent, Ed.