I still get telemarketers calling on my cell phone. They LOVE to call about my mortgage, which is awesome since I don't have one. Recently I get a lot of calls where someone says, "Is so-and-so there?" and I tell them no, they must have a wrong number. Then they launch into, "Well maybe YOU can help me then" and off we go.

I wasn't aware of them, but we might have. That wouldn't have made it acceptable to me if we did.

Ah...you've never carried a case then.

Did you ever wonder where the money came from to pay your salary?

Bob you seem like a nice guy and I'm sure we would get on if we met.

But it is the guys who get on the phone, handle the rejection day in and day out, and make the SALE that are the people that I respect and who make business happen. I've done it and I know how hard it is. As an entrepreneur, who has had his neck on the line every *** payday to make sure I had enough money in the account to pay everyone else, I blessed my salespeople every day.

You may not appreciate them. You may think they are a pain when the call you at home, but the sales guy is the guy who makes the money in this world and allows managers the comfort of retiring early.

Oh, I carried a case but it was filled with drawings, proposals and the like. Come on Slide, get real. I worked in the publishing industry; do you know how many times in my career I heard, "Ad sales and circulation sales pay your salary!" ? It's as old as cups and balls. I got tired of hearing it for so many years because without the lubrication I gave to the machines that produced the products they were selling, they wouldn't have made their commissions. Simple as that. Our company was a four-legged stool that required news, advertising, circulation and Production. Without that production leg, you don't have a product to sell.

P.S.

I AM a nice guy and I have no doubt we would get along if we met. I get along with everyone! Some folks just don't like what I have to say, but that's their problem, not mine.

PPS...do you like Jack Daniels?

Yes I do.

But I'm more a single malt scotch guy.

The publishing industry of course is one of the biggest utilizers of telemarketing sales forces. Unfortunately it is a dying industry and I can see why you opted for early retirement.

Absolutely correct.

In our particular organization we had a bright guy who pioneered satellite technology back in the seventies. In fact we were so good at it as I recall, we were the first company to purchase our own transponder on a satellite launched on the Shuttle in the mid eighties or so. We used satellite technology to replace the old microwave technoligy in data transfer, both for text, advertising, and whole page images for making the printing plates

The guy who lead this effort rose to the highest of executive VP ranks and ultimately vied for the CEO position. He tried for at least a decade to convince the other leaders in the company to swing from print to the digital arena. He cut deals with Steve Jobs at Apple for awhile. His vision saw the publications we produced being viewed on computers back in the eighties.

Unfortunately he was a tech guy and traditional CEOs and Chairmen came out of a different department whose leaders didn't share his opinion. Very bad management decision. Because the sales and news folks who "paid our salaries" couldn't get past their staid old ways. We were ahead of Bloomberg and he walked right by us.

PS not a single malt scotch guy here.

Highland, Lowland, Island, Islay, Speyside, or Campbeltown?

Try asking them in a lecherous tone of voice, "mmmmm.... what are you wearing?" etc.

Or, if they say that the call is being recording for "quality assurance purposes," insist on obtaining a copy of the recording under the Freedom of Information Act, then argue about that until they give up and bail out of the call.

Here's the thing about telemarketers, though: they really don't care if you hang up on them at the beginning of a call - they'll just immediately call the next number that pops up on their computer screen (I did telemarketing for a few months after college). The worst thing you can do, from their perspective, is to spend ten or more minutes on the phone with them, and then pull the plug. Most telemarketers have a daily, if not hourly, quota of goals they're supposed to hit, so they don't want to waste time talking to someone who really isn't (and never will be) interested. You don't even need to say goodbye, just hist the "call end" button. Seriously, they won't care.

Max,

Your first sentence is what I was looking for in my OP. I know, I know, some folks don't like it that I'm hurting the telemarketer by holding on to him for ten minutes. But that's not my problem. I don't like it when my privacy is messed with.

So let's hear some of those good ones that I KNOW y'all have. Glad to hear some folks still have a sense of humor. Any other discussion of the poor telemarketer's plight will go unacknowledged. By me anyway.