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Strange Tasting Fish Sticks 1988 - 2013 The Big Brother is watching you 1095 Posts |
I have a book called magic and showmanship. By Henning Nelms. For the last 3 years, I was practicing 3 , often 6 hours a day, everyday, for 2 years. I wanted to be someone else. Secretly , even though through these thousands of hours of practice got me mastering extremely difficult coin magic sleight of hand, and I had worked with Ponta The Smiths company on the monster DVD, I wanted to BE him. We would speak twice a week on video Skype for over 2 years, until this past year his work and job and success got so demanding he doesn't have time to keep in touch anymore. As he was my mentor and besr friend, my only friend (I have Asperger's syndrome , a mild type of autism. It's hard for me to make friends), this was devestating to me. I reas most of the book, I knew I had to be ME, MYSELF. But I wanted his success. My family never really supported me and my father was emotionally abusivr, cold, and showed no affection. He told me, "Card magic is boring. Do something else like coin magic. Magic will never pay the bills, forget it, get a real job." I just wanted to feel appreciated, loved by someone, anyone (I've never had a girlfriend either) so I thought becoming very good, I wanted to be a world pro in coin magic. I was stuck in a dilemma. I love doing magic. But should I do it just to pay the bills? I love teaching, I'm going to college to become a sociology professor. What should I do? Keep following my dreams? There's a couple things I've learned. Showmanship makes magic, otherwise it's just a puzzle, making thr spectator feeling inferior , instead of enjoying the magic, they just care how you do it. I've struggled with mental illness most my life. Something I learned: "All that matters is in the minds of the spectators; what do they like? Difficult sleight of hand doesn't matter except to magicians. Specttors do not care about the method . The most simple tricks can be the most amazing, because it only matters in the minds of the spectator. " and sociology, "We are all judged like performers on a stage .its not what you think that effects your life and how others treat you, it's how you project or display yourself in the minds of other people, and how they judge or see you. " And, "An action is defined as real in its consequences." Thank You Max Krause. I'm sorry this is so personal . I hope you can relate. Kevin
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1KJ Inner circle Warning: We will run out of new tricks in 4385 Posts |
Stfs,
just do something that makes a difference in peoples lives. Make your purpose to help people, and put a smile on your face every day. You are going to be just fine. |
Ikswonilak New user 58 Posts |
Congratulations on posting something so personal. I'm sure it wasn't easy to share this.
I think following your passion, regardless of potential for financial reward is crucial to feeling content. Of course there will always be moments of second guessing, but ultimately you'll likely have a moment of clarity guiding you in one direction or another. As you have shared you have Asperger's syndrome, I wonder if you are familiar with the work and writings/videos of Ian Kendall Smith? He is a great guy, a wonderful teacher, and an inspiration. He is also very up front about having Asperger's as well. You can check him out at http://virtualmagicshow.com/ Good luck. AK |
MagicMason Loyal user 300 Posts |
Thank you for your honesty Kevin. You have your heart in the right place. As was mentioned make it your goal to help people. When it is about "them" it ends up being win win for you and them. I think doing a real good impersonation of Kevin is far better than doing a bad impression of someone else. There is only ONE Kevin... make it your goal to bring joy to people and you will certainly find your way. Best wishes to you Kevin!
T Mason |
Max Krause V.I.P. I should be creating magic with my 1188 Posts |
Hi Kevin,
1st. Be the best YOU you can be. Be a great human being that just so happens to be able to do incredibly amazing things that create wonder, laughter and surpise! DO NOT listen to those who do not support you. DO NOT let them influence who you are. I too, did not have very much support when I told my parents that I was going to do this full time, but I never gave up on doing what I loved and I am much better for sticking with what truly makes me happy. They have come to understand and respect my decision. Surround yourself with positivity. Do what you feel is going to make you happy not what others think you should be doing. Check out this link... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nif01WZ9aI 2nd. Go out there and perform for people. Try and do the things you are most comfortable with to build up your confidence. It is great to practice for hours on end but the truth is you will never get as much satisfaction as when you see that time and effort pay off in the reactions of your audiences. Remember, you are doing something that can change the world for another person in an instant. That is an amazing gift and what good does it do when you don't go out and share it? 3rd. Mastering difficult sleight of hand can be a wonderful acheivement. However, you should ask yourself if the effort to master the sleight is worth the effect you are trying to acheive. Try to use the best method you can to acheive your desired effect. No need to use a sledghammer to pound a small nail. You just create more work for yourself when you have to repair the wall. Kevin, as part of the magic community there are many people that are always willing to share and help you with your goals but ultimately you have to get out there and start making things happen for yourself. Words of encouragement are wonderful things but believe in yourself and you will be successful. I am always happy to help you in any way I can. Think of ways you can incorporate your magic in your everyday interactions and look at how your magic may be able to help you even in your aspirations to become a college professor. 1KJ, Tmason and AK had some great advice as well in their replies, now the rest is up to you. Kind regards, Max
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