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daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
"I'm not the only one in my family in show business. My dad was an Elvis impersonator. Not much call for it in the '30's, though."
"Me and my wife had a candlelight dinner. They were delicious. (We eat light)." These are a couple I picked up on the Café that tickled me. I'm looking for more zingers of this sort. I'm not looking to do a comedy magic act, where comedy is the focus, but I simply want a few good one liners to insert throughout the show, perhaps between effects to relax people, make them laugh, and lighten up the show. Anybody know of a book or a website that would be a good source for these? Years ago I had a book by Harry Allen, but I think it was more along the lines of snappy comebacks. Almost acid tongued. That's not the style I'm going for. I want truly good, clean laughs that even a family audience would enjoy. Think "Aldo Columbini" and his parlor show, and you'll be on the right track. I appreciate any help you can give pointing me in the right direction.
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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magicwatcher2005 Elite user Washington state 446 Posts |
Aldo Columbini published at least one booklet of exactly the type of lines you're looking for, called "LOL". Some of my favorites from that booklet are:
I saw a TV commercial that said "Kiss your hemorrhoids good-bye"... Not even if I could. Never hire a cleaning woman named "Dusty". and (speaking of Elvis) Do you remember what you were doing when you heard Elvis died? I was at home pulling the pins out of my Elvis doll. . |
daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
I'm laughing my butt off just reading those! Pure, vintage Aldo! Got any more?
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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magicwatcher2005 Elite user Washington state 446 Posts |
Ah Geez, Doug... buy the book already!
Aldo Columbini, LOL (Laughing Out Loud) . |
daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
So far, I haven't known where it's available. that is if it's still in print.
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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magicgeorge Inner circle Belfast 4299 Posts |
I have all 3 of his books somewhere. I'm away this month but if I manage to hunt them out when I get home I'll send them to you.
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daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
I don't want to put you out!
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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harris Inner circle Harris Deutsch 8812 Posts |
To go with the hemorrhoids bit.
Saw a commercial the other day from a Hemorrhoid clinic The jingle was- don't suffer in silence pause 2nd person says I DON'T.
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com music, magic and marvelous toys http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u |
magicwatcher2005 Elite user Washington state 446 Posts |
Yeah, hemorrhoids. If they get bad enough it may take a proctologist to rectify the situation.
Most popular toast at proctology conventions? "Here's to looking up old fiends!" Then there's the proctologist who got evicted from his office space due to the lease payment being in arrears... |
daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
These are great!
undertaker's favorite greeting: "How are things?" "Oh, looking up".
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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george1953 Inner circle Mallorca (Spain) 5943 Posts |
What would Elvis be doing today if he were still alive ?
V V V V V V V V Clawing away at the lid of his coffin ;-)
By failing to prepare, we are preparing to fail.
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daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
Ha!!
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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StevieDee Regular user Salt Lake City area 154 Posts |
Magicwatcher, how about the guy who couldn't decide if he needed to see his psychiatrist or his proctologist, so he flipped a coin.
You see, if he flipped a coin he'd get either heads or .... never mind. |
daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
Good one!
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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