More here: http://www.ayahuasca-wasi.com/english/articles/NVC.pdf

"It requires great honesty and openness, developing a certain literacy of expressions, and overcoming deeply ingrained learning that emphasizes judgment, fear, obligation, duty, punishment and reward, and shame."

Not a philosophy I ascribe to, but interesting reading. Thanks for sharing it.

You're welcome, Lobo. Thankyou for taking a look. I make mistakes in communication, I acknowledge that. This passage addresses much of what I've been getting at and explains fairly well my resistance to the "ought"s and "should"s and "have to"s :

"Acting out of duty:
The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things 'because we’re suppose to.' When we use language which denies choice, e.g. words such as 'should,' 'have to,' 'ought,' 'must,' 'can’t,' 'suppose to,' etc., our behaviors arise out of a vague sense of guilt, duty, or obligation. I consider this to be the most socially dangerous and personally unfortunate of all the ways we act when we’re cut off from our needs. When we speak a language that denies choice, we give up the life in ourselves for a robot-like mentality that disconnects us from our own core."