So I am not really new to performing magic, but didn't really know where to put this. What would you have done. Long Story but here it goes. Last fall one of my Dad's co-workers approached him about selling his Grandfather's Magic props big and small to me. My Father and my Grandmother were going to purchase the lot for me, but at the time my Grandmother had a stroke and this purchase was put on the back burner. Two weeks ago, the idea of selling them to me came up again from my Dad's Co-Worker. I had texted with Co-workers mother, who had sent me pictures the first time around. When the idea of selling them to me came up again, I sent a quick text to her while in a hurry, saying the following, "Hey would you mind sending me pics of your Father's magic Props again, My dad says that you are still interested in selling them." I didn't get a response that night, but figured people have their own lives to live, I will check in with her tomorrow. On the afternoon of the next day, I called her and re-introduced myself and said that I had sent her a text the night before requesting that she resend my pictures of her fathers Props. Then this happened. She says, "Yes I got your text, but my name is not HEY, It's Mrs. xxxxx!" I quickly apologized and said I had been in a hurry the night before and that was why I was checking in this afternoon. She went on to tell me about her father briefly and that he had been in the order of Merlin (which I didn't know much more about until earlier this evening) and that was the highest ranking you could get as a magician. I was very polite as she went on to tell me how she had been sick and that due to health issues she had not been able to put this stuff on the market. Putting on my customer service pants that I had wore for many years, I tried to be as nice as I could and tell her that I would love to continue his Legacy with his props, then this happened. She says, "So What are you going to do with this stuff anyway?!" I went on to tell her that I performed for all ages and I would probably use them in my show, once I had a chance to work with them. She says, "What kind of magic do you do!?" Well mam, I usually perform for Library programs, kids shows, family shows. My daughter has started performing with me." Then she says "NO!, do you perform close-up, or what is it you do?" I am getting slightly frustrated, but patient at this point. I continued to try to explain. I think I finally got through. Now at this point I ask about coming the following week to look at the trick and am told well when we want to go somewhere, we just kind of get up and go. I ask her if it would be okay if I call her at the beginning of the week and see how things are going. She says, "That will be fine, but I can't meet Tuesday, my Doctor has just released me to play tennis again and I am not going to miss that." and for a 3rd or 4th time begins to tell me about her health issues again. At this point the patience is growing thin, this has been about a 20 minute phone call, so I finally said and this is True, "Yes Mam, I understand about Health issues, my wife has had Open Heart Surgery and Leukemia twice, so I understand!" ( I didn't play my Royal Flush. Yes, mam, I understand, My wife has had two miscarriages, a premature baby, open heart surgery, Leukemia twice, her Gallbladder removed, and Knee surgery) Finally the call ends with a we will talk at the beginning of the week close. Goodbye. After I get off the phone with her, I call up my dad and say, "I am not sure this is worth it." I explain everything that has happened. I tell him I am going to call her Monday and see what happens.

MONDAY
Monday I spoke to someone completely different on the phone or at least it appeared to be. When I spoke to Mrs. XXXXX, she sounds so much sweeter. She had a chance to talk to my Dad and wants me to send him the pictures of the stuff he will be buying for me. I don't say this, but my Dad has already told me that he knows nothing about this stuff and trust my judgment. I tell her that I am going to try to come around 10:30 on Wednesday Morning. I tell her I have a magic show to perform at My Daughters school on Wednesday, so I will be going to her school to unload my stuff that morning and that I will try to call her around 8:30 that morning and I have to be back at my daughters school around Noon, to start setting up. She says she still hasn't gotten out said props and tricks but will try to be set up by Wed. We hang up with no issues, everything is on the up and up and she has been more than nice to me during this phone call.

Wednesday
Wednesday Morning comes. I take my stuff to my daughters school to unload for the show. It takes me longer than I would like. I don't want to call her until I get the check in hand from my Dad. I leave my Daughter's school and head to my Dads work to pick up the check. For some reason traffic is the worst this Morning. I get to my Dads work and pick up the Check. It is now about 20 minutes after 9. It hits me that this may not possibly go well. I tell my dad just before I get in my car to make the call that I may be returning his check to him in a minute, not really thinking this. He goes back into his business and I make the call.

Me: Good Morning Mrs. XXXXX
Mrs : Hello (Annoyed)
Me: How are you doing this morning
Mrs: Well I am eating breakfast
Me: I was hoping to head your way and take a look at your Dads tricks
Mrs: No, you can't and by the way you are 55 minutes late on your call
Me: I am sorry, but I had trouble getting my stuff unloaded at my daughters school for the magic show and I got stuck in really bad traffic
Mrs: Well we will have to arrange a time for you to come, I have not even gotten the magic props out. (Knowing that I was coming by 10am Wed and that I need to be back at my daughters school by Noon)
Me: Would it be better if I came on another day.
Mrs: NO! THIS WILL HAPPEN TODAY OR NOT AT ALL!
(And That's when I lost it your Honor)
Me: Okay then not at all, Its obvious you do not want to sell these Items.
Mrs: We are old people and I have not even gotten these Items out.
Me: I have apologized about being late on my call, I was stuck at my daughters school, and then heavy traffic, I was trying to...
Mrs: I am going to call your dad and tell him how sorry you are
Me: Mam, I am 37 years old and have been performing magic for over 20 years, I have enough stuff magic to keep the kids entertained.
Mrs: If you would just shut up for a minute.
Me: No Mam, No Mam, you don't have to talk to me this way. You have been rude to me more than twice, I just don't need your dads props for this.
Mrs: Yes I am just going to call your Dad and Tell him how sorry you are. (CLICK)

Now this phone conversation happened within a 3 minute time period. I walk back into my Dad's job and hand him the check and say, I'm done. I am shaking I am so upset at this point. He walks me back outside, apologizes even though its not his fault. I decided at this point, well at least I don't have to rush and I need to take this negative energy and put into a Great show at my Daughters school that afternoon. Lets just say, I Killed. It was Awesome.

What would you do.

Just walk away, don't look back...just walk away!

FWIW

(If she really wants to sell she will contact your father.)

Again,

FWIW

Old folks sometimes get in their own way, I know because I am one. You have been overly polite and courteous dealing with this situation. Sometimes the answer is no, even when we have done all we can. Spend the time with your daughter.

Unless there is something am9ng those props that you really want I would just ignore the woman.

Personally I would tell her where to stick her props. Cranky old git.

I was in a retirement home, for my wife's Mom as she worked there, pretty much for my wife...
I was there to play piano, so I was done and I wound up just hanging out miserably. I decided to do some magic to kill time and maybe give them some fun.

Two old women there made me regret, desperately regret trying to make them happy. Not a religious dislike of magic... Just a hateful old people thing.

I'm me, so I figure they can die miserable and alone just like they want and I'll forget they exist like I want. They did both die, and I can remember nothing more of them than the story. They could have been pleasant for once in their clearly miserable life, and they didn't.

What I have learned is to give people 1.5 chances to be decent, then you have nothing to regret.

Hi Jason! Welcome to the Café! Your post is difficult to read for some of us. Please break with a paragraph every four sentences or so. Just this once, I'll do it for you:

So I am not really new to performing magic, but didn't really know where to put this. What would you have done. Long Story but here it goes. Last fall one of my Dad's co-workers approached him about selling his Grandfather's Magic props big and small to me. My Father and my Grandmother were going to purchase the lot for me, but at the time my Grandmother had a stroke and this purchase was put on the back burner.

Two weeks ago, the idea of selling them to me came up again from my Dad's Co-Worker. I had texted with Co-workers mother, who had sent me pictures the first time around. When the idea of selling them to me came up again, I sent a quick text to her while in a hurry, saying the following, "Hey would you mind sending me pics of your Father's magic Props again, My dad says that you are still interested in selling them." I didn't get a response that night, but figured people have their own lives to live, I will check in with her tomorrow.

On the afternoon of the next day, I called her and re-introduced myself and said that I had sent her a text the night before requesting that she resend my pictures of her fathers Props. Then this happened. Smile She says, "Yes I got your text, but my name is not HEY, It's Mrs. xxxxx!" I quickly apologized and said I had been in a hurry the night before and that was why I was checking in this afternoon.

She went on to tell me about her father briefly and that he had been in the order of Merlin (which I didn't know much more about until earlier this evening) and that was the highest ranking you could get as a magician. I was very polite as she went on to tell me how she had been sick and that due to health issues she had not been able to put this stuff on the market. Putting on my customer service pants that I had wore for many years, I tried to be as nice as I could and tell her that I would love to continue his Legacy with his props, then this happened.

Smile She says, "So What are you going to do with this stuff anyway?!" I went on to tell her that I performed for all ages and I would probably use them in my show, once I had a chance to work with them. She says, "What kind of magic do you do!?" Well mam, I usually perform for Library programs, kids shows, family shows. My daughter has started performing with me." Then she says "NO!, do you perform close-up, or what is it you do?" I am getting slightly frustrated, but patient at this point.

I continued to try to explain. I think I finally got through. Now at this point I ask about coming the following week to look at the trick and am told well when we want to go somewhere, we just kind of get up and go. I ask her if it would be okay if I call her at the beginning of the week and see how things are going. She says, "That will be fine, but I can't meet Tuesday, my Doctor has just released me to play tennis again and I am not going to miss that." and for a 3rd or 4th time begins to tell me about her health issues again.

At this point the patience is growing thin, this has been about a 20 minute phone call, so I finally said and this is True, "Yes Mam, I understand about Health issues, my wife has had Open Heart Surgery and Leukemia twice, so I understand!" ( I didn't play my Royal Flush. Yes, mam, I understand, My wife has had two miscarriages, a premature baby, open heart surgery, Leukemia twice, her Gallbladder removed, and Knee surgery) Finally the call ends with a we will talk at the beginning of the week close. Goodbye. After I get off the phone with her, I call up my dad and say, "I am not sure this is worth it." I explain everything that has happened. I tell him I am going to call her Monday and see what happens.

MONDAY Smile
Monday I spoke to someone completely different on the phone or at least it appeared to be. When I spoke to Mrs. XXXXX, she sounds so much sweeter. She had a chance to talk to my Dad and wants me to send him the pictures of the stuff he will be buying for me. I don't say this, but my Dad has already told me that he knows nothing about this stuff and trust my judgment. I tell her that I am going to try to come around 10:30 on Wednesday Morning. I tell her I have a magic show to perform at My Daughters school on Wednesday, so I will be going to her school to unload my stuff that morning and that I will try to call her around 8:30 that morning and I have to be back at my daughters school around Noon, to start setting up. She says she still hasn't gotten out said props and tricks but will try to be set up by Wed. We hang up with no issues, everything is on the up and up and she has been more than nice to me during this phone call.

Wednesday Smile
Wednesday Morning comes. I take my stuff to my daughters school to unload for the show. It takes me longer than I would like. I don't want to call her until I get the check in hand from my Dad. I leave my Daughter's school and head to my Dads work to pick up the check. For some reason traffic is the worst this Morning. I get to my Dads work and pick up the Check. It is now about 20 minutes after 9. It hits me that this may not possibly go well. I tell my dad just before I get in my car to make the call that I may be returning his check to him in a minute, not really thinking this. He goes back into his business and I make the call.

Me: Good Morning Mrs. XXXXX
Mrs : Hello (Annoyed)
Me: How are you doing this morning
Mrs: Well I am eating breakfast
Me: I was hoping to head your way and take a look at your Dads tricks
Mrs: No, you can't and by the way you are 55 minutes late on your call
Me: I am sorry, but I had trouble getting my stuff unloaded at my daughters school for the magic show and I got stuck in really bad traffic
Mrs: Well we will have to arrange a time for you to come, I have not even gotten the magic props out. (Knowing that I was coming by 10am Wed and that I need to be back at my daughters school by Noon)
Me: Would it be better if I came on another day.
Mrs: NO! THIS WILL HAPPEN TODAY OR NOT AT ALL!
(And That's when I lost it your Honor)
Me: Okay then not at all, Its obvious you do not want to sell these Items.
Mrs: We are old people and I have not even gotten these Items out.
Me: I have apologized about being late on my call, I was stuck at my daughters school, and then heavy traffic, I was trying to...
Mrs: I am going to call your dad and tell him how sorry you are
Me: Mam, I am 37 years old and have been performing magic for over 20 years, I have enough stuff magic to keep the kids entertained.
Mrs: If you would just shut up for a minute.
Me: No Mam, No Mam, you don't have to talk to me this way. You have been rude to me more than twice, I just don't need your dads props for this.
Mrs: Yes I am just going to call your Dad and Tell him how sorry you are. (CLICK)

Now this phone conversation happened within a 3 minute time period. I walk back into my Dad's job and hand him the check and say, I'm done. I am shaking I am so upset at this point. He walks me back outside, apologizes even though its not his fault. I decided at this point, well at least I don't have to rush and I need to take this negative energy and put into a Great show at my Daughters school that afternoon. Lets just say, I Killed. It was Awesome.

What would you do.

Yep! Old people CAN be hateful! Miserable, despicable, mouth-breathers. No sympathy from ME! I'm almost 60. Laurie has it SPOT ON...it's all about mindset!

Doug

Based on what you've told us, you handled this as well as can be expected. I'd advise that any future correspondence go through your father (if there is future correspondence, of course).

And congrats on your show!!

Thanks to all of you. Sorry about the run on paragraphs, I just got into a writing frenzy. Also following posting this yesterday, I came to find out this was the last of a lot that she had been trying to get rid of. Apparently she got rid of a large portion of it about 4 years ago and the person who dealt with her then had similar problems. Life is too short to stay mad and be angry all the time.

Wow Jason, good for you to give it such a great effort to complete the deal and good for you to eventually cut your losses and walk away. Sounds like you really made a good-faith effort throughout the whole process, too bad the gal proved impossible to work with.

Based on my experience with older folks including my 90+ parents -- avoid phone and Internet communications all together.

Their life experience is face-to-face communication and trust based on non-verbal cues.

Second best is a written letter with a photo of yourself.

She has a memory of the "love of magic" more than any value of the props or effects. Respect the memories and sell the legacy.

You're better off. Unless they were selling something one-of-a-kind or giving it away free, I would have walked after the first conversation. I cannot abide useless people whose only apparent pastime is inflicting their demeanor upon others, and I certainly don't give them money.

Jason,

Hi. There are all types of people, regardless of old or young. People who are rude also get old. We tend to think that all old people are wise to the world. Most are, but a few aren't. This woman apparently has socio-path tendencies. She apparently doesn't really care too much about others. You had every right to stand up for yourself given you were more than polite and apparently bit your tongue quite a bit.

If I were in your shoes, I don't think I would want her stuff. Too much negative energy.

KJ

She may want to get rid of the stuff but having a hard time parting with the props due to the memories. It's better to just walk away. I had an old fellow that wanted to sell his props - I agreed to take them to our local magic club meeting and sell what I could. I told him to give me sufficient time - we have regular meetings plus a picnic plus other opportunities to sell the stuff. A week later he called me and accused me of selling everything and keeping the money for myself. That evening I took his 2 - 3 boxes of magic equipment and left them on his front porch. I think age has a lot to do with it.

Jim

I'm with Jim. She's having sellers remorse. Nothing on you.

I agree, but sellers remorse is no excuse to not play nice. There are four elements to good communication:

1. Clear
2. Concise
3. Kind
4. Effective (Purposeful)

She was not kind.