My old cell phone died and as much as I tried I could not resuscitate it, which meant a new phone purchase was necessary. Now, I thought most funeral homes robbed the customer, which was the reason I opened the House of Discount funerals and Funeral Supplies, but the cell phone companies are right up there with the mafia and state run lotteries. To not pay $800 for a phone, I had to extend my contract for 30 months and was billed $19.36 a month which is offset by the $20 a month credit. So, essentially, except for the length of the contract, the phone was free. I asked the girl, "What if I die before the 30 months? Do I still have to pay the bill?" She wasn't sure but thought the contract was binding even after death, since it didn't have a death clause. I told her that I had a plan to get my money's worth then. If I die I want to be buried with my cell phone. At the funeral, I will have a friend remove it without anyone knowing it, and then a week later call my wife on it and say, "Heelllp, get me out of heeere!" That should make it worth while. Remember, "There is no circumstance so dire you can't find something to laugh about it. That's why all funerals begin with fun."

Take care my spookies.

Weepin Willie
"Ask us about our 'Bring 'em Back Alive' guarantee."

That's how it's done!

You always see through the cracks sir.

Thanks Willie!

That reminds me that back in the old days we made coffins from green lumber. Of course, as it aged the wood shrank and cracks were formed. At one funeral a bereaved family member was lamenting, "I'll never see Aunt Minnie again!" Her son tugged on her dress and said, "Yeah you can, she's right there between the cracks." Thanks for the reminder, Yogi2x4. Old times memories are the best.