Many years ago I took my daughter to the pool for her weekly swimming lesson. We sat down on the bleachers to wait for her class to begin. A young boy sitting a row or two up on the bleachers announced, "What's going on here!" very loudly at our arrival. His mom told him that we were allowed to sit there and calmed him down, then apologized to me as he was autistic. I smiled and said, "No problem." after all, no harm was done.

Yesterday my daughter and I were in the local movie theater. (seats are now assigned for some reason) While the trailers were playing, four people came and sat in the four seats next to me. The woman three seats down from me immediately began speaking out loud pretty loudly in a language I did not recognize. I waited patiently thinking she would quiet down once she got settled in. When she didn't, I leaned forward, waved to get her attention and put a finger to my lips. She nodded and continued speaking, though a bit less loudly. When the movie was starting I did something I have never done before, and leaned forward, and announced, "Will you please be quiet!" Two of the four got up and left. (including the loud mouth.) One of the remaining two told me, "I'm sorry, she's handicapped." I nodded. The woman who told me that spent much of the film texting, which was annoying, but I let go of that one.

I watched a kid (maybe 7 years old) on an airplane really go to town kicking the seat in front of him. I don't mean swinging his leg and bouncing into the seat, I mean full on kicking like he wanted to break the chair. Mom apologized to the person sitting in it telling him the boy was autistic. She did little to stop the boy from kicking.

Of course, I am sorry that some people are born with disadvantages and handicaps. I was born with one myself, though you can't see and probably wouldn't recognize it unless I told you about it. So, I would never make fun of someone or belittle them for having such issues. But it occurs to me that I paid for my seat the same as them. I think I deserve to have the expected experience that comes with the seat I bought.

So what to do? Obviously, it is polite and maybe the right thing to do, to say, well these people are limited in their abilities and we need to make room and accommodate them. On the other hand, I would never spend a two-hour flight getting kicked in the back pretty constantly. I guess the fellow getting kicked was a better man than I am since he did not ask for a seat change or any other action from the stewardess.

I don't see easy answers here. What do you think is right? What is the right thing to do?

Very touchy when it is kids because kids will be kids and I have never meet a parent that didn’t want their kids to behave.
They may not act like it at times but I’m sure deep inside they would like to have a prefect child. True the parent should
teach good manners, etc, but we must remember that this is a work in progress.

I don’t think there is an easy answer that would fit all situations. Much will depend on how the parent reacts.

But still, I agree it is hard to hold back sometimes.

Tom

For me, it's simply a matter of empathy. When I get irritated in similar situations I think of the child who has no intent to ruin my day. I think of the parent who has to spend a lifetime dealing with the child and dealing with all the other adults who no doubt vent their anger and frustration. It is in that moment I make the conscious decision not to add another burden to their lives. And it always leaves me happier.

You are far more tolerable than I.

I, for one, don't think that Steven is tolerable at all.



But he's awfully tolerant.

Whack!... right across the knuckles!