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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » "CONSTANTINE" WARNING, Complete Review! (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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R2
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I was given a special screening with a few notables with a request for an honest review for tomorrow's morning TV program KINT 26.

Here is what I will say tomorrow...you get it here first folks!

One of Satan's Minions performs a coin roll just before he kills. He always leaves the coin behind. A silver coin. I wonder if Johnny Ace helped?

Be forewarned...I am spilling the beans on the entire movie and the ending. Keep reading until you get to the bottom if you don't wish to know what happens at the end.

Keannu Reeves is "Constantine" a man who committed suicide and was for ever banished into hell.

He only committed suicide because as a youngster he could see evil for what it really was, hiding amongst the masses in the guise of innocent humans, just waiting for Satan's beckoning. His parents sent him to shock therapy to cure his hallucinations and delusions.

"Destiny's Spear" was blessed by the hand of the Creator to kill Satan's Servant, the Anti-Christ. It was lost or buried just after WWII, only to be rediscovered, wrapped in a swastika-adorned flag in Mexico by a young peasant.

He carries it across the border and into present day Los Angeles where Constantine is already busy banishing the half-breeds back into hell. Half-breeds are humans who freely embrace evil.

Constantine only thinks that by sending them back, he shall earn his way back into the Creator's graces. No one ever actually tells him this and even "Gabriel" tells him that his efforts are mute. "You are doomed", paraphrasing his words.

Nonetheless he persists with the aid of a nerd, a twin-born, woman cop with an extreme sense of perception, and a young apprentice who doubles as a driver.

Armed with the "real" Bible, which contains passages which were removed by those who feel that they can only be entrusted with the real version. He uses the excerpts to remind the minions what shall come to pass.

He has a limited time because cancer has taken to his lungs, because Constantine smokes well over 30 ciggys a day. He coughs up blood throughout the film and he steps up his efforts because the sands of time are almost down the well.

Gabriel's arrogance leads her to help bring about the 1000 year reign of hell on earth. She has decided to help, in bringing unto earth the flesh of Satan's son, "Mmemnon"

She plans to use "The Spear of Destiny" to slay the Anti-Christ, and doesn't much like Constantine stealing her glory. She places many barriers in Constantine's path because he can see through her hypocrisy.

The twin cop is taken to hell as her reward for being the portal which allowed the Anti-Christ's manifestation. Fearing all is lost, Constantine slits his wrists once again to bring Satan to carry him personally to hell.

Once Satan appears Constantine speaks of Gabriel's plan to slay his evil son upon his re-emergence on earth. Satan stops time and tells the Creator of Gabriel's misguided efforts.

The Creator abandons Gabriel and allows Satan to vanquish her abilities to ward off evil.

Satan offers Constantine more time on earth as a favor for revealing Gabriel's intent. Instead of going through life with cancer, he offers his life for that of the twin lady.

Satan starts to drag Constantine, and the Lord steps in at the threshold of Hell to cast Sunlight onto the Soul of Consty and allow him entry into a better reality.

Satan removes the cancer from Consty by ripping through his sides and removing two black masses. This cancels Consty's death and the grip of the Lord releases him back into earth.

Consty faces Gabriel as a mere humanoid, whereupon Gabby feels pain for the first time and asks Consty to relieve her from this existence. Consty declines and takes the higher road.

The thousand year reign is begun and Consty must prove that he merits to reside in the Kingdom of the next plane. Stay tuned for the Sequel which will surely follow this blockbuster movie!!!!
_______________________________________________________
Here are a few shallow observations;

Visual Graphics were superb. Watch for the demon which Consty traps in a 3 foot mirror and then shatters. Watch the 8 foot mass of flies which manifests early on as a demon.

Be sure to stand guard as the Mexican youth runs for the first time with the Spear of Destiny. Don't blink during this part.

The talisman of security is a cheap little trinket piece of costume jewelry.
Some of the humor was out of character for Consty.

Why would the real version of the Bible be hidden away in the basement of a bowling alley?

Why do Satan's minions always look like pimps? You can connect to the next plane of existence by being at one with a liquid! Keannu really isn't comfortable using curse words. He doesn't have good timing when he delivers a joke...kinda like me!

The demons den nightclub is eerily realistic to those dungeons that I have had the opporunity to visit. For entrance you must be able to accurately describe the image on the tarot card.

Why did Consty remove the talisman of security from one of his few allies? I gather because the Lord no longer saw him fit for service as an alcoholic priest.

Who was the man named "Midnite" really serving? He never chose sides as long as the half-breeds played by the rules.

Where did they get the chair that served up well over a hundred deaths at Sing-Sing? That was very interesting! Pay attention to all of the artifacts in the room where that chair is found. Look at the top right of the screen for a reference to that which we call magic.

If you will interpret the latin as Consty and his apprentice fight to save the life of the twin, you will hear something very interesting.

The song playing on the scratchy record at Consty's house is my favourite piece of jazz music. Pay attention to his room because you only get one opportunity to visit it. We are never taken back!

Can you spot which brand of ciggies he smokes?
______________________________________
This is a real roller coaster ride from start to finish. No obligatory romance here folks.

9 out of 10 stars only because I wanted to dive deeper into the mind of The Creator and his misguided cast away servant, but I give the producers and the writers credit for taking us very near.
tuffnavyrn
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Sounds interesting and I'm it sure looks great on screen. When will this be released?
Brian-
"That smart thing that somebody else said".
Dennis Michael
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I'm not a great fan of "Devil" movies because many leave me with an ugly feeling.

To me, these is not entertaining: Exorist, Keannu Reeves as the Devil's son, Carrie, Whishmaster, Jason 1-thru Jason 99 to Jason-X in outer space, or, any of the Halloween, or Freddy Krueger. This class of movies just leave the viewer with evil wins, or evil destroys, or evil kills. "This is cool?"

Does this movie leave the viewer feeling good at the end or just dumbfounded that one paid $11 to feel bad and be told how ugly of a society we live in, after the movie?
Dennis Michael
R2
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Whilst I mostly agree with your sentiments you will note that we all have a little good and a little bad in each of our personalities.

This movie points out the evil deeds of man and doesn't try and make us feel good at the end...It does however offer hope for mankind! I can LIVE with that! (Pun intended)
http://constantinemovie.warnerbros.com
Go to http://www.warnerbrothers.com and click on the movie section to find out when tickets go on sale....It premiers this friday! Don't miss it! You won't be sorry!
R2
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Be sure to check out this movie...it opens R2morrow!
Don't miss the Satanic Coin Roller!
angpc
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Does it have much to do with the comic-book?
I've read a bit of "Hellblazer", and I didn't think Constantine has been banished to hell. I just thought he's a regular mortal, just incredibly cunning, but I could be wrong.
But then Hollywood has a way of... "jazzing up" comic-books, I guess.

Great review, though. Can't wait to go see it, even though Keanu Reeves doesn't exactly fit my image of John Constantine.
R2
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I am sorry, the movie isn't set to release until the 18th..that's this Friday.
I had a few inconvenienced Magic Café members whom I owe some popcorn and soda along with gas money for the wild goose chase last Friday...I deeply apologize.

Keanu was a wonderful choice for the role of Constantine in the movie. He is a mortal with lots of cunning skills.

He isn't banished to hell, but he can tap into the hellish realm.
Daniel Santos
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WOOHOO! I caught the 9:55 movie today...well, yesterday, until today! The movie's 135 minutes long. This is like the Exorcist EXTREME! I liked the movie a ton. From the very beginning, the movie gets interesting. It's not like beginning, middle, climax, end. The whole thing is fun to watch, with a couple of funny parts in there too. Well, I'm so tired...good night, or more like morning. Smile Enjoy!


Daniel
If it is to be, it is up to me.
angpc
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I liked the movie too, but I have a few minor complaints:
1. The use of Hollywood scare tactics, like when the ghostly old woman suddenly pops up behind a young Constantine. It feels out of place, and makes you feel as though you're watching a teen-slasher instead of what ought to be a smart, suspenseful movie.
2. The gun. It's cool, but it's out-of-character for Constantine.

That said, I still liked the movie though. Bonus points for starring Rachel Weisz, who is so hot she had to play two characters instead of one, and for featuring the Satanic Coin Roller. Smile
travisb
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As a fan of the Hellblazer comic, I'm absolutely dreading this movie. On the one hand, I want to see it to see how badly they've mucked it up (Keanu as Constantine? And he's not British? ARGH!). On the other hand, I don't want them to get any of my money.

-Travis
evanthx
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I REALLY enjoyed this movie. I just wanted to add one comment - if you wait until after the credits have completely rolled, there's another little scene. Kinda neat.
drwilson
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I saw this Saturday, and my wife and I both enjoyed it. To address Dennis's question, there is actually a fairly serious exploration of the old questions of why evil exists, what use we make of our free will, and facing the consequences of our actions. I say "fairly serious" given that the medium is an effects picture. I was definitely not left with an ugly feeling, more one of hope. I was not familiar with the comic book, so I have no resentment toward this film for violating a literary classic.

I must also add that the camera loves both Rachel Weisz and Tilda Swinton, and you will too.

Yours,

Paul
Cholly, by golly!
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The original character was based physically on Sting. He was created by Alan Moore (THE WATCHMEN) and first appeared as a mystery man in the SAGA OF THE SWAMP THING comics.

John Constantine is very dark, very moody, with a wit as sharp as it is dry. The guy oozes cynicism and sarcasm, but has a strange charisma that draws everyone in.

He is easily one of the most interesting comic book characters of all time. You think Batman has issues? Meet John Constantine.

I haven't seen the movie yet, but I'm not enthusiastic. I love the character and I really hate to see him "reworked" for mass audiences.

They might as well dress him in tights.


"Dude! Is that a demon? Whoa!"
R2
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He never utters the phrase "whoa" in the movie.
Is the character dark? Yes....
He is dark and very sarcastic....along with an ooze of charisma.

You won't be dissappointed.
Cholly, by golly!
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I'm probably gonna see it. I'm just apprehensive... you know?

On a related note, I hear a movie based on Alan Moore's THE WATCHMEN is in production. If you haven't read this, pick up a copy of the trade paperback at any book store.

THE WATCHMEN is the best superhero comic ever. If you think John Constantine has issues...wait 'til you meet Rorshach!
travisb
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The idea of them making a Watchmen movie makes me want to puke. Considering how long the comic book is, they should do what Terry Gilliam suggested after he passed on Watchmen, and make a miniseries out of it. From what I've heard, the movie will likely feature Rorshasch's storyline at the expense of everything else. While this is probably the best way to do it if you're going to make Watchmen into a single film, it still stinks.

And I second the recommendation for the comic version (Grant Morrisson's critique notwithstanding)--it's widely available in trade form and it's one of the best comics ever!

-Travis
Logan Five
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I hate to sound like a sour-puss, but I didn't like it.
Self concept is destiny..
Cholly, by golly!
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THE WATCHMEN story is really about Ozymandias and his quest for world peace (no matter what the cost). The ends justifying the means, you know? The other characters were there to unravel the mystery. (Who killed the Comedian and why?)

I thought Dr. Manhatten was the most interesting character though.

There's a proposed script by Sam Hamm floating around the web, but it's not that good.

I agree that a movie would be difficult, but after seeing THE LORD OF THR RINGS, I have hope.

How about an HBO miniseries?
Mack Magic
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I liked the movie. It all depends on what you like. The Satanic Coin Roller like someone mentioned and Gabriel were a plus.
* "May your life be like toliet paper..long and useful."
* "If the shoe fits, get another one just like it."
* "Use the talents you have, for the woods would be a very silent place if only the best birds sang!"
Jonathan Townsend
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I saw the film a few days ago, and prefer to make positive comments and so will offer one for now:

I really liked the cards at the club. Wonderful. The bear card was funny. Got me hoping that deck is available and more than just a movie prop.
...to all the coins I've dropped here
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