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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Light Bulbs (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Cliffg37
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Inner circle
Long Beach, CA
2492 Posts

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Ok guys, How many jokes can you come up with that involves changing a light bulb...

How many flys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just two, but the real questions is how did they get in there.

Or the classic polish joke that makes fun of americans (I am polish so don't get mad)
How many americans does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right!
Daniel Santos
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Smile LOL Love the fly one! Everybody's killing me with jokes today!

As far as the american one....I remember hearing something similar like

"300,000,000; one to change it and 299,999,999 to debate whether it was politically correct." Smile

LOL Thanks for those.



Daniel


P.S. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The bulb will change itself when it's ready.

:P
If it is to be, it is up to me.
tuffnavyrn
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San Diego, CA
1238 Posts

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This should be good...........
Brian-
"That smart thing that somebody else said".
mvmagic
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Has written
1309 Posts

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, One to hold the Diet Coke and one to yell "daddyyy..."
Sent from my Typewriter
ed rhodes
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Rhode Island
2807 Posts

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Quote:
On 2005-03-10 18:31, Daniel Santos wrote:
:hysteric: LOL Love the fly one! Everybody's killing me with jokes today!

As far as the american one....I remember hearing something similar like

"300,000,000; one to change it and 299,999,999 to debate whether it was politically correct." Smile

LOL Thanks for those.



Daniel


P.S. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The bulb will change itself when it's ready.

:P



Actually, it's *one* but it take a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.
"All the world's a stage, but the play is badly cast!" - Oscar Wilde
Scott Cram
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How many software programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
It can't be done. It's a hardware problem.

How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Tell software to code around it.

How many Harvard MBAs does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. He holds the bulb and the universe revolves around him.

How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change the bulb, and three to publish minor variations on the original method for the change.

How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but he unfortunately keeps changing it into a dove.

How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on what you want to change it into.

One.
How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A chair, because the vest has no sleeves.

How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
472. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(tm) as the new industry standard.

How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

How many grocery store cashiers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding? They won't even change a five dollar bill!

How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
CHANGE?!?
Daniel Santos
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Quote:
On 2005-03-12 23:16, Scott Cram wrote:
One.
How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A chair, because the vest has no sleeves.


:hysteric:


:lol:
If it is to be, it is up to me.
Michael Baker
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Eternal Order
Near a river in the Midwest
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How many PMS sufferers does it take to change a lightbulb?

What'd you mean by THAT???
Well???
FINE! I'll change it myself!!!
~michael baker
The Magic Company
S2000magician
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Yorba Linda, CA
3465 Posts

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How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?

Omaha, Nebraska.
Daniel Santos
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LOL!
If it is to be, it is up to me.
S2000magician
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Yorba Linda, CA
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Quote:
On 2005-03-11 05:26, mvmagic wrote:
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, One to hold the Diet Coke and one to yell "daddyyy..."

Some people fine jokes about blondes offensive.

;)
Daniel Santos
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From http://www.toddrobbins.com/Background.htm

"How many performers does it take to EAT a lightbulb?"

"Just one...Todd Robbins!"

I just happened to come across that one...Smile
If it is to be, it is up to me.
ed rhodes
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Rhode Island
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Quote:
On 2005-03-13 03:05, S2000magician wrote:
Quote:
On 2005-03-11 05:26, mvmagic wrote:
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, One to hold the Diet Coke and one to yell "daddyyy..."

Some people fine jokes about blondes offensive.

;)


Not untrue, mind you. Just offensive.
"All the world's a stage, but the play is badly cast!" - Oscar Wilde
ed rhodes
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My other post didn't go in! Shoot! (Shoot is not what I had in mind but it's what the Café engine will allow!)

How many Teamsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

FIVE! You got a problem with that?
"All the world's a stage, but the play is badly cast!" - Oscar Wilde
ed rhodes
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Rhode Island
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Quote:
On 2005-03-13 03:05, S2000magician wrote:
Quote:
On 2005-03-11 05:26, mvmagic wrote:
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, One to hold the Diet Coke and one to yell "daddyyy..."

Some people fine jokes about blondes offensive.

;)


Some people find jokes about ADD offens... oh look, something shiny over there!
"All the world's a stage, but the play is badly cast!" - Oscar Wilde
S2000magician
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Yorba Linda, CA
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Smile
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