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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Magic Comedy Openers? (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Sonny Vegas
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Chicago, Illinois - USA
199 Posts

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I like to incorporate a few Magic "one liners" before I dazzle em' with my mystic powers...lol. You could call it my magically delicious introduction.

Here are some I'd like to share with you.

- My whole Family had magic when I was growing up. My Grandma had a trick knee. My Father used to do a really cool trick, whenever the bill collector came to the house, he'd disappear for hours. At a young age magic could make me a lot of money, my sister was making $100 bucks a trick**. My Uncle used to perform magic with foam balls, he's taking medication for that now. I used to think, when going to school I was riding in the Magic Bus, but now I realize it was only the short bus that picked me up. I used to do Dove magic, but with my sweaty palms the soap used to slip.....

...Do you have any you'd like to share???

**credit to Michael Finney....I love this guys magic! You Gotta see him!
Believe in yourself and the magic will come.

www.SonnyVegas.com
www.TheVegasBrothers.com
Gary Barnard
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Regular user
Tennessee
145 Posts

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Well, I'd say "Every one turn around and shake hands with the person behind you" Afet the do that say, "You all aren't the smartest group are you?" lol. I saw this on a movie and figured you could use it. It's pretty funny, man.

Gary
Gary

"It's in the very trickery that it pleases me. But show me how
the trick is done, and I have lost my interest therein."
- Seneca the Younger, In his 45th Epistle to Lucilius
(4 B.C.-A.D. 65)
harris
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Inner circle
Harris Deutsch
8695 Posts

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At my S.A.M. meeting a member was offering a pile of free junk, er magic.

I picked up an old church key. Later that night I changed a coin into you guessed it "My new opener".

Groannnnnnn!

Harris
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com
music, magic and marvelous toys
http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17198 Posts

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I've used some pretty hokey ones. I used to start my linking ring performance with "Ladies and Gentlemen... The Great Houdini is Dead...The Great Thurston is Dead...The Great Blackstone is Dead...and I'm not feeling too well myself.

Also, such cornball lines as: "Magicians run in my family...usually from their audiences."

And another that you would probably have to modify. "One of my relatives, the Great Harry Blackstone, Sr., started performing under the name of Harry Bouton, he later changed to Fredrick the Great,and finally the Great Blackstone...In the family tradition I have also changed my name several times...in fact to stay employed I've been known to have changed it several times during the course of a single show."

Like I said, pure corn.
Remember to tip the drummer for the rim shots.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
penandpaper52
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5 Posts

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A famous opener that I'd forgotten about, I believe it was performed by Balentine, was to walk on stage and announce "and now, the famous gloved to dove trick."

Take off the gloves and toss them in the air. After landing on the floor, you act oblivious to it and move on to the next trick.
cougar261084
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460 Posts

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I just use a newspaper tear, and don't restore it
wunceaponatime
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274 Posts

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My grandfather taught me how to do magic. He's old now and it costs too much to keep him in a rest home so, we left him at a rest stop.
Rupert Bair
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?
2112 Posts

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Have a really really really big prop on stage with your name on...come on stage waving and smiling at the audience, then fall over the prop, look around and ask "****! how the hell did that get there!" You could then mutter something derogatory about the last act leaving his crap around.
Magic Enhancer
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Robert Haas
1805 Posts

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I used to open my comedy show like this- this si the shortned version:

"LAdies and gentlemen, being a magician, I getto travel the world. One of the first thing I like to do when visiting a foreign country is to learn how to introduce myself to people. I tel them my name is Kobi (stage name) and I go through the different languages and tell the audience how to pronounce my name.

In English, Kobi
IN French, Kobe( pronounced Ko-Bay)
IN Lithuanian, Kobitus (it's true)
In Polish, Kobski (gets a laugh)
In, Hebrew, CHCKHCKHCKHCC (makes an unintelligble, grinding sound with your mouth)
And in Swahili, <Cluck>

Again, sorry if I offend anyone, but that was my openeing for a while. I am comfotable with various racial groups and they all take it in good humor. Of course, this would be geared toward an adult audience.

Robert Haas
Robert Haas
Magic Enhancer
Quality magic products for the working professional.
www.MagicEnhancer.com
One Man
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Elite user
Frederick, MD
491 Posts

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I had an uncle that was a magician,,,every night after work he would walk down the street and turn into a bar,
Art190
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Elite user
447 Posts

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"**credit to Michael Finney....I love this guys magic! You Gotta see him!"

Everyone HAS to watch this video. Hilarious!!!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=SGpv7Kum2vc
MoonRazor
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Special user
775 Posts

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Love the one about your sister being a hooker..... I'm sure you could come up with a prison joke after that soap slips.....
KidMagic
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Regular user
Bradford
183 Posts

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I read this one some where and found it hilarious! You say...
"Would the person who lost the elastic band wrapped around the roll of $100 bills please come up here... we have located your elastic band"

Zach
Magically yours,
KidMagic/Zachary Gauthier
www.kidmagic.ca
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