The Magic Caf
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » I Used to.... (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

 Go to page 1~2 [Next]
Sonny Vegas
View Profile
Regular user
Chicago, Illinois - USA
199 Posts

Profile of Sonny Vegas
Here's a Thread to just have fun with...you will catch yourself thinking of these at the most peculiar times. This is just plain ol'fun.

- I used to work at the lumber yard,..I quit ,...because I got "Board".

- I used to be a plumber, but the work was too "draining"

- I used to be a pilot on a manure farm,the cows would poop it and I would "Pile it"

- I used to work at the Morgue, that was a dead end job,. When payday came around I kept getting stiffed.


***Keep em comming!***
Believe in yourself and the magic will come.

www.SonnyVegas.com
www.TheVegasBrothers.com
Lyndel
View Profile
Inner circle
wrote the theme to the TV show COPS!
1623 Posts

Profile of Lyndel
My 1st wife used to be a nun...

none in the morning, none at night...


Lyndel
Image
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17309 Posts

Profile of joseph
I used to work in a bakery, but I got tired of the dough, and thought I'd go on the loaf.....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Lyndel
View Profile
Inner circle
wrote the theme to the TV show COPS!
1623 Posts

Profile of Lyndel
I used to be an electrician...

But I didn't like checking people's shorts...


Lyndel
Image
Sonny Vegas
View Profile
Regular user
Chicago, Illinois - USA
199 Posts

Profile of Sonny Vegas
I used to be an undercover agent....great job, I never got out of bed.
Believe in yourself and the magic will come.

www.SonnyVegas.com
www.TheVegasBrothers.com
The Donster
View Profile
Inner circle
4817 Posts

Profile of The Donster
I used to be a Baker but I was Always Loafing.
bnadworn
View Profile
Regular user
Western New York
131 Posts

Profile of bnadworn
I used to be a Baker. I needed the dough!

I used to work in a muffler factory, until I got exhausted.
I used to be a dentist, but I couldn't stand living hand-to-mouth. (It was a down-in-the-mouth job anyway)
I thought about being an electrician, but the idea was too shocking.
I used to be a teacher, until I found out I had no class.
I used to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.
I used to be a physicist, now I know what matters.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
"They say the hand is quicker than the eye but I won't believe it until I see it."
Patrick Differ
View Profile
Inner circle
1540 Posts

Profile of Patrick Differ
Don't bakers knead the dough?
Will you walk into my parlour? said the Spider to the Fly,
Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to show when you are there.

Oh no, no, said the little Fly, to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair
-can ne'er come down again.
muzicman
View Profile
Special user
LaCenter, Wa
989 Posts

Profile of muzicman
"I used to work in an orange juice factory, until I got canned. I just couldn't concentrate."

"I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax."

"I used to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a sew-sew job."

"I used to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it."

"I used to be a musician, but I wasn't noteworthy."

"I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients."

"I used to be a math teacher, but I had too many problems."

"I used to work for a paper company, but they folded."

"I used to work for a bra manufacturer, but they went bust."

"I used to work for a refrigerator manufacturer, but they had their assets frozen."

"I used to be an upholsterer, but I couldn't cover my costs."

"I used to work for a tennis ball manufacturer, but they ended up in court."

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.

I got a job in a fitness-center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking and I was discharged.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
The Village Idiots
View Profile
Elite user
Orlando
464 Posts

Profile of The Village Idiots
I used to be a bed salesman, I'd always have something to fall back on.
Some are born idiots.

Some are made idiots.

Some have idiocy thrust upon them.
boynextdoor
View Profile
Regular user
Lancaster
129 Posts

Profile of boynextdoor
I used to work as a magician's assistant, but he fired me because he didn't like what he saw... Okay, that was bad....UH
I used to work as a marionette, but couldn't get the hang of it?
I used to work as a computer tech, but the job bytes?
I used to work as an aquarium cleaner, but it seemed too fishy?
I used to work as a skunk trainer, but it stunk?

I used to work a midway game at an amusement park during gollege, but I just didn't keep my eye on the prize!
(HA! I got one! Oh ye of little faith!)
I used to work as a vacuum repairman, but it sucked!
I used to work as a human pendulum, but couldn't get into the swing of things!
I used to work in a sandpaper factory, but it was just too rough!
I used to work at a sausage factory, but it was the wurst!

Oh yeah!
Smile

I used to work as a word processor, but got fired for not minding my P's and Q's, and for catchng to many Z's...


What can I say? I'm on a role! (This is all I have, be happy for me...)

I used to be a clown, but it felt funny!

I used to work as an organ grinder's monkey, but went crazy when I couldn't keep up with the daily grind. Smile
Alternatively, I used to work as an organ grinder but I always had a monkey on my back....? Wait, that made sense when I thought it....Okay, I'll stop...for now...

I used to work as a pair of thong underwear, but I was just too high strung! Smile

Yeah, I said it!
(EEEW!)
Trapeze above the Grand Canyon. Be impressed.
Popo
View Profile
Loyal user
Valparaiso, IN
219 Posts

Profile of Popo
I used to be a mime...I left people speechless.
boynextdoor
View Profile
Regular user
Lancaster
129 Posts

Profile of boynextdoor
HA! That's good!
Trapeze above the Grand Canyon. Be impressed.
Chrystal
View Profile
Inner circle
Canada/France
1552 Posts

Profile of Chrystal
I used to be a Nun...but got out of that habit!

:O) Chrystal
nums
View Profile
Veteran user
I have a life, or I would have more than
366 Posts

Profile of nums
I worked for a optomitrist, till I made a spectical out of myself...

Jeff
Wolflock
View Profile
Inner circle
South Africa
2257 Posts

Profile of Wolflock
I used to work as a psychopath's Assistant. That was until he stabbed me in the back.

I got fired for holding the pickle slicer. Yes I am serious. But she was fired too.

Used to work for dunlop, but kept getting tired.

Worked as an Escapologist but kept getting roped into doing things and was just tied up all of the time. Job was a bit off the cuff though.

Regards
Wolflock
Wolflock
Pro Magician & Escapologist
Member of JMC (Johannesburg Magic Circle)
South Africa
boynextdoor
View Profile
Regular user
Lancaster
129 Posts

Profile of boynextdoor
*Groans repeatedly*
Trapeze above the Grand Canyon. Be impressed.
Sonny Vegas
View Profile
Regular user
Chicago, Illinois - USA
199 Posts

Profile of Sonny Vegas
I used to work at a cheese factory in the cheddar department....I was the one who cut the cheese.

(Gosh that is really someones job...lol)
Believe in yourself and the magic will come.

www.SonnyVegas.com
www.TheVegasBrothers.com
boynextdoor
View Profile
Regular user
Lancaster
129 Posts

Profile of boynextdoor
EW!
Trapeze above the Grand Canyon. Be impressed.
kOnO
View Profile
Special user
551 Posts

Profile of kOnO
Next time you think your job is bad....


When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this on your way home from work: stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson. Be sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change in to very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair, open the package and remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so the it will not become chipped or broken. The fun part begins...take out the literature and read it carefully.

You will notice that in small print there is a statement, "Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested".

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work for quality control at Johnson and Johnson"..."I am so glad I do not work for quality control at Johnson and Johnson"...

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A DAY JOB THAT IS WORSE THAN YOURS

kOnO
It is a lot easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » I Used to.... (0 Likes)
 Go to page 1~2 [Next]
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2023 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.03 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL