I used to be a plumber but I got canned
I used to be a chef but it wasnt all it was dished out to be
I used to be a teacher but the students kept multiplying
I used to be a gardner but the chicks didn't dig it. (AHAHAHA)

Now I'm a magician...... and look how far I've come

I used to be a ventriloquist, but I felt like a dummy.

I used to be a comedian, but people kept laughing at me

I used to be a psychiatrist, but I drove my patients crazy

I used to be a werewolf... but I'm alright noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow

I used to be a cross country runner, but I didn't like the ups and downs

I used to make clocks, but I didn't like the hours

I just thought of some more, as bad as my previous efforts.

I used to fly tourists in a hot air balloon, but the bottom fell out

I used to be a builder, but I got fired for always being plastered

David...those were great. It's nice to see a master of sideshow talents jump in the funny section with us clowns here.

David, post your website or your link here so the clowns and comedians here could see your cool video....it's awesome!

Hi Sonny

Glad you liked them I thought I might get booed out of the building! The videos can be found here: http://www.thefreakshow.co.uk/videos.html

I am going to be posting some new video stuff in about 2 weeks, and putting together a full DVD for sale later in the year. I will let people know here, or you can join the mailing list.

Just thought of a couple more.

I used to be a tree surgeon, but I had to leave.

I wanted to work in a massage parlour, but I couldn't pull it off! (Bit of blue for the grown ups )

I wanted to be a psychic, but I couldn't see any future in it.

And finally, the best ones are from my girlfriend Nikki.

I wanted to be a chiropodist, but I didn't have the soul.

I used to be a binman, but it was really rubbish.

Have fun

David

I used to be skitso but were all right now