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cstreet_1986
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Ok, I know this one is going to be a sensitive topic for some, but I am hoping that everyone will take this in good taste and realise its for the sake of comedy (if Gazzo gets away with it...). Before I go any further I think I should mention I AM GAY, and although I do not agree with positive discrimination I only state that I am gay to show that I am not discriminating against gay people.

Anyway, with the sensitive crap out of the way, let me ask my question. I am a gay magician (that sounds soo wrong) and wondering if anyone has any good jokes (whether they are for/against gay people or for/against straight people, whichever) that I could use as part of a show. One liners are what I am looking for.

Here is one of Gazzo's lines just to get the ball rolling:

"You can see I have my magic stick here. You notice I don't call it a wand, because fairies carry wands and I don't want to be confused with a fairy." [looks at a guy] "I'm sorry sir if you are offended with my homosexual references".

Any more? What I am really looking for I suppose is a camp image (anything that plays on being gay and pays well with the audience). Cheers everyone!!



Chase

P.S: I won't be offended by anything you say in this post - it's all in good nature (assuming you are not just going to harrass me!! :-P)
Lyndel
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wrote the theme to the TV show COPS!
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Here's a few you might be able to use:

I even have gay electricity at my house... it keeps blowing the fuses!

My friend is a gay midgit. I came out of the closet, he came out of the cupboard!

Do you know how to spot a blind gay guy at a nudist colony? It's not hard...

What do Gay Horses eat? Haaaaaaaaaaaay! (said with a feminine accent and flair)

From Conan Obrien: "According to a zoology journal, researchers have discovered gay orangutans living in Asia. Apparently, you can tell which orangutans are gay–they’re the ones who throw their feces like a girl."


Lyndel
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cstreet_1986
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Lyndel, that's great! Anyone else wanna go? C'mon, of course you do...

Chase
Phil Thomas
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During your act, pause and act as if you are having a muscle spasm in your neck. Reach down and pull out a tube of Ben Gay. Offer the tube to whomever is helping you. Say "Ben Gay"? "I sure have a time or two!"

Just an idea, or.....

Pull out a top hat, reach inside and pull out a purple or pink colored stuffed rabbit. "This is my assistant. Fluffy the Flamboyant!"

Ok...I'm done.
"If we lose the sense of the mysterious, life is no more than a snuffed out candle."

Albert Einstein
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