Last night I was at a restaurant I will call Phony Aroma's and was doing balloon animals and magic tableside. After I had been there about fifteen minutes the manager came over grabbed me by the arm and told me that I needed to "tone it down", or I would have to leave the restaurant.

Now the only thing I can think was that my voice was too loud. As I am a trained opera singer I often have people tell me that I am too loud.

My question is this. What would your reaction be to being grabbed, and how would you handle to situation? I swallowed all my pride and appologized without saying anything about being woman-handled but it freaked me out. Also because I work for an agency I didn't want to lose the contract for them.

Thanks

Kind of a weird situation, I think you probably did the only thing you could have done at the time. Just apologize and move on.

But I would approach the manager at a later time and try to find out (nicely) what the problem was. Otherwise you may wind up doing whatever it was that annoyed her again. Then she's going to be really mad because she feels that she has already "spoken" to you about whatever the "problem" was.

I would think long and hard about what the reason could have possibly been. There must have been a reason. It never hurts to ask. Maybe from your perspective you're doing everything ok....but.

How long have you been performing?

John

John,

I appreciate the question. Again my long hard thinking was only that my voice could have been too loud.

If you include stage work, television, opera, voice over and magic I have been performing since I was ten (I'm 36 now). I have been doing the restaurant thing for a little over a month now. (With no other comments I might add.)

I get being asked to be more quiet (that has litterally been happening since I was born--hence the opera part of my career). What I don't get is being grabbed by the manager. If I had been on the street I would have pushed the person away, called the police or sprayed them with pepper spray. (ok maybe not pepper spray). I was so stunned by this I couldn't even move.

Are you working for the restaurant itself, or were you working for a private party at the restaurant?

I work for a party company that contracts out to restaurants. I work for tips and the larger reason I'm there is to sell my magic show/ balloon artist to prospective customers.

So, you were not hired by the resturant? Maybe the manager and/or staff is resentful of your presence there. They may think that you're digging into their tip money. I would reconmend getting a job at another resturant where you were hired by the resturant, are getting paid, are not soliciting tips (you can accept them but don't push for them), and have sold the manager on the facts that you can help the resturant. I am no way a resturant expert but I've done a few and I think I see what's going on there.
Edd

When I retired from police work, I knew that I wanted to pursue my entertainment career...which up until then had been something of a "professional" hobby. I decided to work as a restaurant & club manager for a couple of years to get the "inside scoop" on how things work and build a few connections. I have to tell you that those were the unhappiest and most stressful two years of my life. Combative drunks, barfights and homicide scenes were nothing compared to running a restaurant or club.

I learned that waitstaff rely HEAVILY on their tips...and anyone they even suspect of interfering with those tips is the enemy. An unhappy waitstaff leads to an unhappy manager. An unhappy manager having a really bad day is very likely to lash out at any available target. Sounds like you were the catch of the day in this case. Blow it off and consider ways to include the waitstaff in what you do. I would consider dropping the tips angle, too. I accept tips, but only because I consider it rude to refuse a gift. I never solicit. At the end of the night, I hand the tips to the manager to be divided among the wait staff. Needless to say...they love me!

And here's something lot's of "Family Night" magicians never think about. On most "Family Nights", kids either eat free or at a greatly reduced rate...which means that the overall cost of the meal is lower...which means that the percentage tip is smaller...but the workload is greater for the server. More plates, more drinks, more demands and a bigger mess afterwards. Servers generally hate "Family Nights"...which means they hate the "big-buck" performer they see accepting "their" tips.

The same is true with bartenders at "happy hour" gigs. I always try to put the needs of the managers, bartenders and the waitstaff first...customers second...myself last. Always try to look at things from all angles...and Good Luck!

:o) Skip

If you were not hired to be there doing magic, I don't feel that you should have been doing it...especially loudly interrupting everyone's meal. I love magic as much as you and work multiple restaurants. I wouldn't dream of doing a set, especially with balloons, for a few tables without consent from the manager. I happen to think that you were in the wrong in this case.

He said the agency he works for contracts with the restaurants. Therefore he was supposed to be there. I don't see it as doing it without the consent of the manager. However I do think it's not the best situation for the reasons already stated.

Still, even if hired by an entertainment company to be at the restaurant...I would still speak with the manager first just to let them know I was there and what I was doing so it did not appear that I was soliciting.

I was working for a restaurant we'll call it TGIF and the table I was performing for was really into the performance. Of course they were laughing and clapping and just being generally pleasant. The manager came over and said "I know you are just doing your job but another table complained that you are being distracting, can you try to keep it down." Of course I told him we would. I performed one more routine to a rousing round of applause (enough to **** off anyone else who was teetering on the fence of distraction) and moved on to another table.

My point for that little story is that the manager may have been reacting to another table complaining about the good time you were having.

As far as being "GRABBED" I guess it depends on the attitude of the grab. If it is a chastising or threatening grab I will say something to them right then. If it is a gentle, attention getting grab I may not say anything.

If what happened bothered you, I would personally confront the manager after the gig and let her know that you don't appreciate her GRABBING you and that in the future she needs to use a non physical method of getting your attention. For your part, you will try and keep the tone of your performance at a more comfortable level.

Good Luck!!

Jered S.

Slightly off subject? But BALLOON TWISTING is my least favorite thing in the whole world. The sound is worst (to me) than running fingernails over a chalkboard). If I were somewhere and someone started doing balloons I would leave as fast as I could.

Hi Jonathon:

I think you handled it perfectly; I can't think of a better way to react than the way you did.

Ron

Talk to his manager/boss/owner/district manager and explain your situation. What he did to you was against Nevada law. It doesn't matter AT ALL the "attitude" of the grab. ANY unwanted physical contact, ESPECIALLY the contact you've described, constitutes battery. You could have arrested him. Even if this guy is the owner, you don't have to be a victim regardless of whatever the alleged guest complaints may have been. Check your PM.

It might also be construed as sexual harrassment, if I'm not mistaken.

I believe that Sexual Harrassment involves Quip Pro Quo (do this for me, and I'll do this for you...or its other half...do this for me or I'll do that to you), and/or ANY unwelcome sexual advances. If this manager's boss doesn't do anything about this situation, there is serious potential for liability. Serious.

Now that I have thought about it, what you refer to is Hostile Work Environment. A lot of the same laws apply. All cases are handled by the EEOC.

Man...that is the last thing you need is a needless lawsuit. If you really want to know why the manager said what he said then ASK! "Was I being too loud?" or "What do you want me to tone down?" or "Is there something that you would like me to do differently?"

Talk to your agent and see if the manager complained to them or ask the agent to call the manager and find out what the matter was.

Corey

My point exactly, Spyder. Needless lawsuits are a bane in the US society. The system is designed to protect the innocent, and our woes stem from those who abuse the system just for personal gain. And that means sueing when no law was broken. This is not the case.

"Tone it down" could also be in reference to "blue" or adult humor. The only way to know is to ask.

Not to change the subject, but if you are really good at what you do, you should find a restaurant to pay you on an hourly basis so that you don't have to work for tips. Lots of people feel like they've been "hustled" when they have to tip unexpectedly and, as someone else mentioned, it can set off an adversarial relationship with the waitstaff. Of course, if you only have a month's experience this may be difficult until you are more seasoned.

good luck!