If you guys don't mind can you share some funny storylines and one-liners.Im working on a comedy act so I need some funny material,
THANKS
SIX

Check out the booklet named "Comedy Helper" by Stéphan Bourgoin (the guy that created: Pool chop cup, Tennis chop cup)

It is full (200) of new liners and jokes!

Check it out, it should be in store very soon!

Check your local magic shop/dealer

Hope this help

Kuffs

Hey thanks a lot I appreciate it.And is this Patrick Kuffs I am speaking too?

Check Aldo Columbini's books - http://www.mammamiamagic.com

Steven Wright's material is on the 'net... Great one liners.
Slim

SIX wrote:

"... is this Patrick Kuffs I am speaking too? "

It's a tricky question? If I answer correctly did I win something?

;-)

Patrik Kuffs

I second the Colombini reference, and check out Harry Allen's SLEIGHT OF MOUTH book - it's loaded with one liners.

Kaylan

If you use an audience volunteer on stage...

"Here son, face the audience... Never turn your back to the audience... that's how Lincoln got it."

"Hello. I'm (______), the magician. Careful... don't step on the trap door (point to the floor behind him)

"Thanks for coming on stage to help. We've never met before, right?" "No." "...Then, how do you know this is really me?"

For card handlers...

"Here... shuffle the cards as much as you like." (hand the deck to the spectator... as soon as he reaches his hand to the cards, jerk it away and say,) "That's long enough." (after the chuckles, of course, hand him the cards and let him shuffle the deck.)

"Here... pick any card (as his hand approaches the fanned cards, start pushing one forward and say,) "... as long as it's this one right here." (if he tries avoiding the card, be persistent, trying to force the same card.) After you've milked the laughs as much as possible, let him freely choose a card.

Hope these help... I use them often for a few laughs to help loosen up the crowd. There are many more, but these are all I can think of right now.

Lots of people play cards, but it takes a cannibal to throw up a hand.

Hey,thanks guys.And Parick you to much lol.Sorry you don't win anything.Just wanted you to know I think your material is great.I appreciate you putting it into print.
Thanks keep the one-liners coming!!!!!!!!!
SIX

Or you could try and write your own material....

Take a search on one liners.........you will find PAGES of info from our friends here

Be careful with using one liners that are in common use...especially with adults. With children, repetition doesn't matter as much, but with adults, using lines that are not original to you or unique to them will come across as hack and unprofessional. Most adults are familiar with stuff from pro comedians like Steven Wright and Jeff Foxworthy...and if they recognize it, you'll earn a severe groan, at best. Equate it to the "I've seen that before" kid. I own several of Harry Allen's books...yet, I no longer use a single line from them because they are so overused and worn out. Adults immediately say, "Oh, that old line" and tune you out. If you're unable to develop your own lines...lines that directly relate to your personality and environment, then consider subscribing to one of the many excellent (and sometimes costly) joke writing services on the internet. Better yet, contact your closest comedy club and ask about joining a stand-up comedy class. Even if you never perform on a comedy stage, the training and experience will help you create fresh, personal stuff that works for you and your magic.

Try to remember that the entertainers who make it are the originals who stand out!

:o) Skip

SKIP WAY's got it.....be original because they WILL groan.
Thanks SKIP WAY

When performing in family settings, I always try to entertain on multiple levels...what I call the "Rocky & Bullwinkle" theory of theatre. If you watch "Rocky & Bullwinkle", "Bugs Bunny" or "The Roadrunner" you'll notice that much of the physical humor is aimed at the children while most of the spoken humor is targeted at adults. We have a "Bullwinkle" restaurant here themed on old Frostbite Falls and the old shows are playing throughout the dining room. It amazes me how much "new" humor there is these shows that I never noticed as a kid. So, while I'm performing for the kids, I'll use throw-away jokes for the adults...like, "Ya know, I have over 250 groupies! 'Course, they're all under 6..." "I had a great fan club once...but they weren't allowed to cross the street." "Why did the lawyer cross the road? I Object! Sustained! I withdraw the question!" As you're performing, ask yourself...am I reaching my entire audience or just a select few?

:o) Skip

I have to disagree you can use the old lines If you have the personality also the most Important formula - Timing & the delivery & trust me it will work.
Tophatter

Ok heres a few...
ok this is a regular deck of 58 cards no seriously though this is a normal marked deck!
outta all the people ive meet your one of them!
funny stuff huh?

Then there's the old, "please examine this deck. Nothing funny? It's an ordinary deck? Could you please shuffle the cards for me? (Wait...) Are you satisfied now that the cards are completely mixed? Excellent, then we'll use this deck..." (put their deck away and get out a new one - but it had better be a regular deck, subject to examination afterwards).

http://www.tensionnot.com/jokes/one_liner_jokes

Great link, Dynamike! Thanks!