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NJJ Inner circle 6437 Posts 
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Magicians are always making up stories about being banned from casinos for their skills . I've decided to come up with the top five REAL reasons I get banned from casinos...
10) Brought a rabbit along for four times as much good luck. 9) Kept trying to bet on how much money I'd lose. 8) Asked a showgirl if she and a friend wanted to go "double or nothing." 7) Kept shouting SNAP everytime I got a pair. 6) Everytime I put a dollar in the big slot machine in the corner I won a can of coke! 5) Pulled out a pair of six shooters at the poker table and called the dealer a "cheating varmit" 4) Made one too many "salt and vinegar" jokes when cashing my chips. 3) After losing ten times in a row at roulette I told the croupier that if he wasn't careful he'd be playing "Russian style" 2) Came out of the toilet shouting "Now that's what I call a royal flush!" and the number one reason I get banned from the casino........I misunderstood the definition of 'crap table.' |
Father Photius Grammar Host El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo) 17161 Posts
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What I want to know is where in LV did you find a coke machine in a casino or hotel that gave you a coke for only $1 ? Now that's the best trick I ever heard of in LV.
I can give you an 11th one too. They drug you away from a change machine because you had been putting bills in it for hours and collecting quarters screaming "this baby is all mine!"
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
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RandyStewart Inner circle Texas (USA) 1989 Posts
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He pays for drinks in LV?
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kOnO Special user 548 Posts
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Quote:
On 2005-06-24 21:06, Nicholas J. Johnson wrote: I was banned for my LACK OF SKILL's. Banned by the WIFE!!!! kOnO
It is a lot easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
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Sonny Vegas Regular user Chicago, Illinois - USA 199 Posts
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Reasons for my banning from Casinos:
1. Using a cattle prod on that tiger. Roy never saw it coming. 2. Packing my pockets with buffet food. Mashed potatoes gave me away. 3. They caught me sticking slugs into the slot machines and betting earthworms at the Black Jack table. 4. Yelling Bingo after only 2 numbers are drawn. 5. Standing around the Craps table asking people "What's that smell?" 6. I kept asking the Show Girls to "Show" me. |
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God-glorified Special user 697 Posts
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Quote:
On 2005-06-24 21:06, Nicholas J. Johnson wrote: AHAHHA BRILLIANT SIMPLY BRILLIANT
Ephes. 2:8-9
For by GRACE are ye saved through faith; and that NOT OF YOURSELVES: it is the gift of God: NOT OF WORKS, lest any man should boast. |
Ola Loyal user Australia / Sweden 245 Posts
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Or as Richard Osterlind said on his dvd about the BCS:
"It's cheaper for them to employ me than to let me gamble"
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same...
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Patrick Differ Inner circle 1540 Posts
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Aaah...casinos...
Will you walk into my parlour? said the Spider to the Fly,
Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy; The way into my parlour is up a winding stair, And I've a many curious things to show when you are there. Oh no, no, said the little Fly, to ask me is in vain, For who goes up your winding stair -can ne'er come down again. |
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drkptrs1975 Elite user North Eastern PA 452 Posts
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Good ones, how about this one, "I want to use my deck of cards."
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Vibono Magic Special user Växjö,Sweden 647 Posts
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...they owed me to much monney.
Vibono Mirage
Magic entertainer and Balloon artist |
Tom Stevens Veteran user Australia 361 Posts
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Good ones, Nick! I had a good laugh!
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Magicman8 Regular user Michigan 113 Posts
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Bloody Hilarious!!
I love it! Matthias
We go through life backwards. The past is visible and the future is cloudy, it seems we are walking backwards.-- Terry Pratchet
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| The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Banned From Casinos... (0 Likes) | |
Posted: Jun 25, 2005 01:06 am 
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