What are some of your favourite one liners and gags to use at tables? I like Michael Finneys joke where he says 'Bear in mind I havent always wanted to be a magician, it was only when my sister came home one day and said she was earning $100 a trick, I said,...i gota try this'. Obviously it is aimed at adults not children and that is what I am after, things like that

Have you ever held magicians balls

Not a fan of 'gags' or pre-planned one liners - I prefer to ad-lib, and just go with I what I perceive the humour of the group to be.

I think forced gags can sound horrendously tacky - quick wit I believe is far more entertaining!

Just my thoughts, on what works for me though.

Simon

Not a fan of 'gags' or pre-planned one liners -

Gags and pre-planned lines can be very spontaneous used at the right moment! In several effects that I do, I ask certain questions. There is only a couple different answers that can actually be given...I have a "rehearsed" line for each answer...but they come off as adlibs since "there" is no possible way I can know the answer!

Mike

I have the exact same experience as Mike, as I've described here.

No the clean hand.

Did Finney give you permission to use his line?

Did I give Finney permission? Been using that since 1977. (If by the way he publically prediates that I humbly apologize)

He says feel free to use anylines if it suits you, he says it because it fits him, but it might not work for others, and as for spontaneous remarks and gags as mike was saying, that's is also what I mean. Quick wit and a sharp mind a re needed. Bill Malone and Michael Finney are 2 of the best people I have seen for this type of humour

Most of my ad-libs are designed to keep in character. Since I'm Chinese, I have have developed a nice oriental theme to much of my magic. However, since I'm also Canadian born, I do not speak the language. I try to incorporate this dichotomy into my character. Here are a few of the lines I have used from time to time.

"As you can see, I am Chinese - so, the rest of my show will be in subtitles."

"My mother always made me write my name on the inside of my clothes. For the longest time, I thought my name was Dry Clean Only."

"I'ld like to tell you a story of a great magician named Foo Ling Soo. You may have heard of him. He also had a very famous brother named Foo Lin Yu." (This is an intro to my Chinese Sticks effect).

"Do you like my outfit? I worked really hard on it. I'm really a 6 foot 3 black man in disguise."

"My parents call me a banana. Yellow on the outside and white on the inside."

Whenever anyone asks how I did a trick, the answer is always the same "Ancient Chinese Secret".



Kent

Kent, those are funny! I especially like "Foo Lin Yu".

Geoff

Thanks,

I figure it's better to make fun of myself instead of my audience. That also gives them permission to laugh along with me.

Kent

He doesn't need his permission. Gags, jokes, etc. are not copywrited.

Your partly right MagicChris, I think Mr Pen , I mean Biro , is try to say out of courtesy one should get permission

I thought the clean hand joke was a "standard line" that's community property. Like gkfreed, I've also been using it (with a twist) since the 70's and I know many other magicians who do as well. Is this Finney's line?

I think Pete was referring to a post that's already been deleted...
(not the clean hand gag)

-I'll finish this if it kills you (Gene Gordon I think)
-Have you done magic before...good, so if this doesn't work we'll blame you (me?)
-Take a card, no not that one (everyone)
-Please put out your finger... thanks for choosing that one (Doc Eason, sorry if I'm not supposed to use it)
-..when I snap my fingers, I'll have two balls..IN MY HAND [and you'll have none] (me? everyone I hope)

I'll think of more later. I don't see anything wrong with keeping certain lines for the right situations, especialy if you encounter these situations often enough. Most of the good lines started as on-the-spot cleverness anyway, right, so they are natural if used properly. Just my two [canadian] cents.

The clean hand gag was originally thought of by Walter Zaney Blaney... who really gets upset when he hears others use it.

I had a discussion about "so called stock lines" with Dai Vernon years ago... and THAT line came up and I said, "The right thing to do would be to either get permission - if you know who's it is - or RE-WRITE it..."

Thinking on it, I came up with this (although I don't use it).

"Hold out your hand... (look at hand, pause) Hmmmm... did you have a flat tire on the way here?"

:dice:

Danny Archer said a line once that broke me up. He was doing a trick that involved him smelling the hand of the gentleman spectator in order to locate a (I think) chosen card.

"Do you fish?"

One I have heard in the past was after placing sponge balls on the table, if a man grabs them, say, "I don't touch yours."

Generaly, ball jokes are too easy. The right audience will give them to you all day, but here's one I do use in the right crowd. During my Cups & Balls routine, I place the 3 cups rim-balanced on the balls, which are on the table. "The cups are now precariously balanced upon the balls, just like well trained seals in the circus."

Then I tap the cups so they cover the balls. "Now the cups cover the balls... just like well-trained atheletes."

A line that used to get BIG laughs with in comedy clubs, but is now far too dated and obsolete... During the return of a chosen card, "I'll stick it in, and you cut it. NO WAIT! That's how John Bobbit screwed up."

Kent (magicman845),

Your lines are great! Are you familiar with Henry Cho, the Korean/American comedian from Knoxville, Tennessee? Biologically, he is 100% oriental, but speaks like a full-blown hillbilly redneck. Funny guy!

~michael

...funny - mine call me a coconut!