We Remember The Magic Café We Remember
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » I'm Getting Old! (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Bill
View Profile
Veteran user
and Pretty Nice Guy
379 Posts

Profile of Bill
THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be
released first.

3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

9. You can live without sex but not without your
glasses.

10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

12. You no longer think of speed limits as a
challenge.

13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter
who walks into the room.

14 You sing along with elevator music.

15. Your eyes won't get much worse.

16. Your investment in health insurance is finally
beginning to pay off.

17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than
the national weather service.

18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because
they can't remember them either.

19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
manageable size.

20. You can't remember who sent you this list.
hkwiles
View Profile
Special user
Howard Wiles
797 Posts

Profile of hkwiles
Perks of being over 60 (me next Saturday)

1. Finally jack work in.

2.Get free bus pass

2.Get free prescriptions.

4. £200 towards winter fuel bills.

5 Go on holiday anytime of the year.

6. Get out of bed when you are ready to.

7. Eligible to be a "Grumpy Old Man"

Howard
Slim Price
View Profile
Inner circle
1935 - 2006
1326 Posts

Profile of Slim Price
You'll all be astonished at the difference between 60 and 70! "I hate old people."
Slim
sanscan@tds.net



"I will never bitter be, as long as I can laugh at me!"



"The people who were dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music"
Partizan
View Profile
Inner circle
London UK
1682 Posts

Profile of Partizan
I choose to live my life in reverse. I get younger every year Smile
"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
- Mark Twain
Slim Price
View Profile
Inner circle
1935 - 2006
1326 Posts

Profile of Slim Price
Getting old is forgetting to zip up... Being old is forgetting to zip down! <G>
Slim
sanscan@tds.net



"I will never bitter be, as long as I can laugh at me!"



"The people who were dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music"
hkwiles
View Profile
Special user
Howard Wiles
797 Posts

Profile of hkwiles
I did the test on BBC1 last night cmae out that my "real" age is 58.4 years old.

at least its the right side of 60 LoL

Have a go click on Take the test and answer the questions

http://www.bbc.co.uk/areyouyounger/

Howard
daffydoug
View Profile
Eternal Order
Look mom! I've got
14062 Posts

Profile of daffydoug
Quote:
On 2005-07-16 14:20, Bill wrote:
THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be
released first.

3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

9. You can live without sex but not without your
glasses.

10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

12. You no longer think of speed limits as a
challenge.

13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter
who walks into the room.

14 You sing along with elevator music.

15. Your eyes won't get much worse.

16. Your investment in health insurance is finally
beginning to pay off.

17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than
the national weather service.

18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because
they can't remember them either.

19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
manageable size.

20. You can't remember who sent you this list.


Those are hilarious! Too bad they happen to be true!
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
Glenn Godsey
View Profile
Special user
737 Posts

Profile of Glenn Godsey
Quote:
On 2005-07-16 14:29, hkwiles wrote:
Perks of being over 60 (me next Saturday)

....

2.Get free prescriptions.

....


Unfortunately, you only get that sort of perk if you live in a country with a benevolent political system.

Best regards,
Glenn Godsey
vinsmagic
View Profile
Eternal Order
sleeping with the fishes...
10804 Posts

Profile of vinsmagic
I read the obituary everyday to make sure I am not there....

what I use to do all nite now takes all nite

there is nothing like a good bowel movement
Come check out my magic.

http://www.vinnymarini.com
dpe666
View Profile
Inner circle
2895 Posts

Profile of dpe666
Well, I am 31, and I already take 6 pills a day, my hair has gone thin (I shave my head to hide it), and I just bought my 1st pair of reading glasses. **sniff** Smile
vinsmagic
View Profile
Eternal Order
sleeping with the fishes...
10804 Posts

Profile of vinsmagic
Hey Dave; and to boot you moved out of sunny california and went to Idaho,
vinny
Come check out my magic.

http://www.vinnymarini.com
dpe666
View Profile
Inner circle
2895 Posts

Profile of dpe666
Don't remind me. Smile
saxmangeoff
View Profile
Veteran user
Moscow, ID, USA
353 Posts

Profile of saxmangeoff
What's wrong with Idaho?

Geoff
"You must practice your material until it becomes boring, then practice it until it becomes beautiful." -- Bill Palmer
Harry Murphy
View Profile
Inner circle
Maryland
5370 Posts

Profile of Harry Murphy
I'm so old I can remember when Idaho wasn't even a state!
The artist formally known as Mumblepeas!
Bill
View Profile
Veteran user
and Pretty Nice Guy
379 Posts

Profile of Bill
Quote:
On 2005-07-18 02:39, dpe666 wrote:
Well, I am 31, and I already take 6 pills a day, my hair has gone thin (I shave my head to hide it), and I just bought my 1st pair of reading glasses. **sniff** Smile


Errr. 31 heh? Well Dave,

BEING "OLD" IS WHEN.....
Your sweetie says, "Let's go
upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I
can't do both!

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment you on your
new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN...... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your
pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of
your face

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just long
as you don't have to go along

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor
instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to
take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the
parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.

We miss you here in San Diego.
blazes816
View Profile
Special user
Wichita, Kansas
522 Posts

Profile of blazes816
My mom claims to be 19. every year.
dpe666
View Profile
Inner circle
2895 Posts

Profile of dpe666
Quote:
On 2005-07-18 18:51, saxmangeoff wrote:
What's wrong with Idaho?

Geoff


Look around you. Smile
Cliffg37
View Profile
Inner circle
Long Beach, CA
2492 Posts

Profile of Cliffg37
Well Dpe, I am much older than you, but I can say very comfortably I do not live in Idaho. I have been to Idaho, it is beautiful there. I did some rock climbing and had a great time. But lets be honest, the local idea of a hot friday night was going to the hospital Caféteria for their great special. (I am not making that up!)
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right!
saxmangeoff
View Profile
Veteran user
Moscow, ID, USA
353 Posts

Profile of saxmangeoff
Quote:
On 2005-08-02 18:32, dpe666 wrote:
Quote:
On 2005-07-18 18:51, saxmangeoff wrote:
What's wrong with Idaho?


Look around you. Smile


It's gorgeous. So what's wrong with that? Smile

Geoff
"You must practice your material until it becomes boring, then practice it until it becomes beautiful." -- Bill Palmer
dpe666
View Profile
Inner circle
2895 Posts

Profile of dpe666
Apparently you and I differ greatly in our conception of beauty. I live in Idaho Falls. Very drab place to me when compared to San Diego with its blue sky, perfect weather, mountains, and ocean. Perhaps the Moscow, ID area is different than it is down here in the south eastern portion of Idaho. Smile
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » I'm Getting Old! (0 Likes)
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2021 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.12 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL