Can't really put this in FUNNY BUSINESS as this is too specific but does anybody have any good gag lines for when they are stilt-walking?

Some of mine include :-

I just thought I'd stretch my legs!

Q. What's the weather like up there?
A. It' snowing it'll be with you in a few minutes!

Hi shorty, hi shorty, hi shorty (to everyone present)

High Five anyone?

I'm sure some of you are much funnier than me, so add some more please.

Nigel

"Don't mind me, I'm just the local cleavage inspector" (and you have no idea how well that works )

Migel,
What is your costume? What kind of job are your doing on the stilts?
Jerry

My costume is either a jester, so red and yellow trousers to go with red and yellow outfit, see my site http://www.itshim.co.uk and look under stilts (as Kester the Jester - the official English Heritage Jester) or colourful entertainer black trousers and then bright waistcoat, bowler hat etc. (Translation for Americans: bright vest and derby hat etc.)

I know where your coming from Facade, how I love the summer ;-)

Nigel

I have seen a stillt walker using a telascoping fork to snag frys from passers by.

I would love to get into this.How much do stilts cost?

Cardandcoin,

If you search on google you will find several sites that describe how to build stilts for use otherwise I believe a professional set will cost several 100 dollars.

Travis

Walk between my legs and win a prize!

You can get them at a pawn shop for about $100. The new ones are about $250 to $300. I like the S2 form All-Wall. If you go to my web site you will see a code you can use at All-Wall. But you have to call them and give them the code. I hope they will give you a discount on them.

I've never done it but I thought a really tall cane would be a funny prop. You could balance it and use to hook people and things. You could probably make one out of PVC or copper tubing.

I've used a really big yo yo that was attached to a reel so I could do a bunch of fake tricks and then release the reel to have the yo yo return. I used a modified key chain retractor like janitors use.

A barber with scissors to take a little of the top?

I also like to pick things out of unsuspecting people's hair...and stealing food with really big chop sticks.

I'm just throwing out ideas...

For lines...
You should see my big brother.

Barry Bonds (or insert name of favorite suspected steroid user here) and I have the same doctor.

I'm somebody you can look up to.

I think I see a topless woman over there...oh sorry it was two bald men standing together.

Kevin

I have the following:
I was born on long weekend.
they say smoking shortens your life,its not true.
What is this a convention of midgets?
hey this is great everybodies lookin up to me!
If you were taller I would have asked you out!
when you are asked ..hows the weather up there ..you reply its fine but the ozone layer is putting me on a high!!
when asked ..what are you on ?? reply drugs!... they putting me on a high!!
I eat short bread....I drink long toms ( popular south african beer)
they said strecth your legs but this is rediculous!!
will you marry me ...to a short old lady

plus loads of visual site gags.

When the drug jokes aren't appropriate:

It's a natural high.
I read a lot of High Times magazine.

if challenged, I'll admit to a 'mechanical high'.

When asking a small child for a ridiculously 'high' five, I encourage the adult to lift the child up. I then commentate (is commentate a verb? A commentator is one who commentates or comments?) a la sportscaster "coming in with the assist..." etc.

-Brian

Nice ideas.
Talking of commentating, when there are two or more ladies with pram/strollers, you play out a race commentator ( verb ,noun ,adjective ..who cares!!)you could do this on stilts!